recent study conducted by Nielsen Games has uncovered an unsavory and alarming new link in the video game industry's ever-tightening chain around our nation's youth. It was found that 17% of respondents in the survey who had purchased a copy of the popular role-model pummeling game, "Grand Theft Auto IV," were between the ages of seven and sixteen. The crime glorification simulation, which imparts "gamer points" for beating innocent police officers to death with decapitated prostitute bodies, was rated "M" for "Mature."
The most distressing news lies not in the fact that 61% of impressionable youths had been tricked into purchasing the games themselves by slick marketing and peer pressure, but the shocking revelation that 39% had been aided by someone else -- in 80% of these cases, parents themselves had thrust their child's ripe brain beneath the industry's oppressive mallet.
Speaking exclusively to Joystiq, renowned child psychologist Dr. Alphred Larmist described this turn of events as "the ultimate betrayal." According to him, parents could be the most dangerous conduit of pixelated poison. "Parents getting involved is the last thing we need," Larmist said. "If they take an active role in what entertainment their children partake in, this is the sort of disaster that could happen. Next thing you know, they're determining what's appropriate for the kids and going out and buying Grand Theft Auto. They're supposed to be on our side."
Dr. Larmist vowed he would take up the campaign to keep parents and their influence away from children. "If nothing is done, these video gamers will reduce our society to naught but chainsaws having bloody sex with each other."