Oh my goodness. I'm so embarassed. I didn't even see you walk in. And now here you are, staring at my computer screen, in full knowledge that I write nothing but fanfiction in my spare time.
It started innocently enough. After watching an episode of Seinfeld, I couldn't help but be upset over the fact that Elaine had never started a relationship with her boss, J. Peterman. I had visions of her being caught in the rain, totally drenched -- her clothes ruined. Her boss would walk up, lay a comforting arm on her shoulder, and say, "Why Elaine, did you forget your ... urban sombrero back at the office? Would you ... like to come up to my apartment? I have a spare."
Five minutes and two-hundred-seventy-four pages later, I had a fanfiction masterpiece. It didn't matter what made sense and what didn't. I was in control. I could make anyone fall in love with anybody! Steve x Kimmy Gibler. ALF x Lucky. Nothing was off limits!
My latest story involves a certain boomkin, pre-med student Berg, and this girl Sharon. All the action takes place in a pizzaria circa 1999, and man, is it hot. See, Berg is there ordering a pizza, and he's not wearing a lot of clothes because it's very hot on account of all the pizza being steamy and whatever, and ...
"Oh, Tony," said Mona, smiling at the hunky housekeeper in front of her. "You've caught me just as I was getting out of the shower."
... oh, what's that? You don't care about my fan fiction? Fine. Forget you. I'll just leave you with a rundown of what all our WoW Insider writers are playing this weekend and save my stories for an audience that will appreciate them. This week's bonus question: "Blizzard announced that certain users wouldn't see authenticator prompts if Blizzard is sure of the identity of the person logging in. Does that make you feel more secure, less secure, or doesn't it make a difference?"