In this year's edition of the career community site Glassdoor's "50 Best Places to Work" list, Apple came in at number 35 overall and number 16 of tech companies, a one-position drop from last year's rankings. Like any large company, there are plenty of reasons why current employees and contractors downgraded Apple's overall rating, ranging from having too many meetings to long hours around product launches, but things like that aren't likely to change overnight. However, we've come up with a list of 10 things Tim Cook could implement to raise the company's ranking by the time next year's ratings are published. Let's get to it!
- Hold an employee lottery where the winner gets to have Jony Ive narrate their life for a day.
- Offer each new employee a lifetime supply of actual apples.
- Have Tim Cook follow every Apple employee on Twitter, because I'm pretty sure that makes you an instant celebrity.
- Install a go-kart track that spans the entire roof of Apple's new "spaceship" campus.
- Give all employees every new iPhone two weeks before the rest of us, and encourage them to rub it in.
- Let employees order useless products from Amazon Prime Air (if it ever actually launches) and set up a paintball shooting range where the drones land.
- Dig a bunch of Apple Bandai Pippins out of the storage room and give them away to new hires.
- Have ex-BlackBerry employees come in to
give motivational speechestell their horror stories.
- Put a live webcam feed on every desktop monitor showing the inside of a Foxconn factory, so Cupertino workers know how good they have it.
- Encourage employees to team up and teepee Google's headquarters every time a new Android device that doesn't support the latest version of Android is launched.*
*This may lead to a statewide toilet paper shortage in California.