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Drama Mamas: Tank frustration
Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm. /queue dramatic sporting event music This week on Drama Mamas, the mamas duke it out for the title of Best Drama Buster! Who will win the battle for the most useful advice for a frustrated tank? Will it be Robin who thinks the tank should take a strong leadership role or Lisa who thinks that teamwork should be just that? Turn the page to read the Battle of the Drama Mamas. Disclaimer: The mamas really just think people should choose the advice they think works best for them. We don't care about winning any battle. The previous paragraph is solely the result of overzealous introduction writing and too much caffeine.
Drama Mamas: The case of the friendly hermit
Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm. WoW may be both massive and multiplayer, but many of us play it like a single-player game with chat channels. In fact, there are quite a few people who use guild chat and whispers as chat rooms, getting very little playing done during some sessions. And some of us like to either play or chat, but not both. Playing without an invisibility option can be troublesome for those who tend toward hermitism. Hermitness? Hermitacity! Oh, let's just get to the letter. Dear Drama Mamas, As a RL introvert, I find it very hard to make friends and feel happiest when I'm on my own. (I went through several years of high school without so much as a single friend and was very happy that way!) But online is very, very different. I find it easy to be myself in guild and general chat and so on, and as a result I attract a lot of friends. Because of this, often when I login, three to five people will whisper me at once, each expecting to carry a full-on conversation with me.
Drama Mamas: Anyone can raid
Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm. Many people really enjoy the competition and grading of endgame progression raiding, but that's not the only raiding going on. Anyone can raid. To be clear, anyone who thinks raiding is fun can and should raid. You just need to find the right group of people with whom to have raiding fun. Even if you have obstacles like young children, an odd schedule or, as is the case this week, learning difficulties, there is a group of people who will enjoy raiding with you. Well, unless you're That Guy. Nobody wants to raid with him. Dear Drama Mamas, I want to start playing WoW. I think I'll be mostly fine running around on my own, doing quests and just general things. I'd eventually like to get into raiding. Here's where the problem starts. I have learning difficulties that make it a very, very slow process for me to learn things and then retain that information. I need to be shown over and over again before the information really sticks. Because of this, I'm very unsure about joining a guild, and the only other option available to me would be PUGs, but I'm not sure how that would go.
Drama Mamas: Tank entitlement
Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm. There are many kinds of tanks. There are skilled, geared, uber-tanks and just-learning-how-to-taunt tanks and OMG-I've-never-meleed-before tanks and I-queued-tank-so-I-wouldn't-have-to-wait tanks. There are tanks of various personalities, talents and patience. But this week, we only concern ourselves with the tanks who think they're entitled to do whatever they want because groups are at their mercy. We have two letters that ask about this issue. Drama Mamas, In the past few weeks I have noticed a disturbing trend in with the dungeon finder. At least twice a week I will get into a group where one player will pull everything in sight then leave. I play a mage so this means I get killed in milliseconds, which is no fun at all. I hate to say it, but it's usually -- OK, always -- the tank. So far the only "solution" I've found is blocking that particular player so I don't get grouped with him again, but that won't keep it from happening with other jerks. Have either of you experienced this, or am I just extremely unlucky? Instadeath
Drama Mamas: Too sexy for your group
NSFW warning: Video may be slightly NSFW (bikinis and shirtless guys). Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm. Does Right Said Fred hold the answer to the latest WoW drama? This week, the Drama Mamas help a frustrated player who can't figure out why so many of her groupmates seem to feel they're simply too sexy for their groups. To my dearest Drama Mamas, In a random heroic I did earlier, I kept getting prompted to kick members of my party. I saw nothing wrong with the way these players were performing, and I always voted against it. After it happened again, I asked my party why there were so many random kick attempts. I was told by a hunter in my party that the tank, who was in a guild with the hunter, was being an ass and that it was funny, after which the tank sent a smiley face in party chat. I did not say anything further and continued healing, only to be kicked a minute later. Oh, did I mention we were in the middle of Falric? Was I right to question why there were so many kick attempts? Is there anything I could have done to avoid this situation? It seems like kick abuse is happening more and more frequently. It is not uncommon for me to be in a party where a tank or DPS will start a vote simply because that player won a piece of gear they wanted; I have even been in groups where a member has started a vote to kick a player who is pumping out higher DPS.
Drama Mamas: Friends behaving badly
Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with the Drama Mamas. Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at dramamamas@wow.com. We often explain bad behavior in game (and on the internet in general) with anonymity (NSFW link). This just does not apply to the letters we answer this week. The friends behaving badly know the letter writers in "real life," and it is that phrase that seems to be the problem. If WoW were just a game and not real people interacting in real situations, it wouldn't cause real drama for us to tackle each week. This disconnect between proper behavior in the physical world and Azeroth just doesn't make sense when you know your guildies in both places. But sense or not, it happens -- and these letters are just two examples of a common problem.
Drama Mamas: When connecting online seems like a Real bad IDea
Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm. When is your privacy not your privacy? When it's connected to everyone else's privacy. This week, the Drama Mamas help a reader whose desire to reserve sharing her email address and online status for her real-life friends is heating up her WoW friends list -- and they're boiling over at not being included. Hi Drama Mamas, I've decided to only add people as Real ID friends who are RL friends that play on another server. I'm one of those people who sometimes like to hop on a character unknown to the folks I usually play with and spend some hours ingame on my own or with my boyfriend. However, I do have a lot of ingame friends I'm pretty close with and talk about a lot of things apart from the game. After installing the patch and logging on my main, it took only half an hour before I got the first whisper, containing an email adress and asking me to add them via Real ID. I told the person no, I'm only going to add very few RL friends to that list. I recieved a very sulky reply. Today the scenario repeated itself, meaning two days of playing very little have passed and two people are already angry at me for not adding them. Is there anything I can do to prevent other ingame friends to react the same? Why can't some people accept that sometimes I do want to play, but don't want to chat? Taz'Dingo, Anonyma
Drama Mamas: Tips on getting wife back into WoW
Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with the Drama Mamas. Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at dramamamas@wow.com. Before I show you the letter this week, I'm going to fully disclose my sympathies here. First of all, I can't stand high-maintenance players. Questions about things? Yes, please. But "ne1 help me?" over and over (particularly if it's something above your level) means a polite warning followed by a gkick if not heeded -- also mockery about the use of "ne1." Ask once for help on something and if no one answers, it's not that they didn't hear you. It's not that they are mean and unhelpful. It means they are too busy with their own fun to help you at this time. On the other hand, I totally feel the pain of being married to someone with a different playstyle. The Spousal Unit is an accomplished raider. I'm an altoholic casual who is increasingly more and more RP-curious. We used to have wonderful times playing SWG and CoH together. But we have rarely been able to match up our playstyles since we moved to Azeroth. Mostly I blame him, fairly or unfairly, because he won't make a WoW duo with me. Jack and Jane Blaze were so fun! /sigh But it takes two to tango. And if he would rather go line dancing with his raider buddies, then I either need to get a pair of purple cowboy boots or see if I have better success convincing him to do the hustle. Tired of dancing around the drama? Then turn the page.
Drama Mamas: Racism and setting social standards
Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We love updates! We've already heard back from the writer of last week's letter, Hacking a friend's account. Hi, I recently sent in an email to the Drama Mamas; it was the "hacking a friend's account" one. Just sending this in to say thanks, he gave me a ring today, I manned up and answered it and probably wouldn't of done if not for you. We made up, both said sorry and I gave him his password back. So all's well that ends well -- and sticking with a common theme, an end to situations that have no place in our game is what's on tap this week, too. The topic: racism and hate speech. (Before we begin: Standard warning for comments -- we'll be removing those that veer off the subject of handling racist hate speech in game, so please stay on topic and keep the language civil so we can have a productive conversation.)
Drama Mamas: Hacking a friend's account
Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. It was really hard to choose from the many dramalicious emails we got this week. So much drama, so little time. I'm happy we have so many topics to choose from, but sad that so many of you have to go through so many dramafied situations. This one really did stick out as pretty dramarific, however. Dramarily! Drama-lama ding dong! Dramastified. OK, I'm drama-done. Turn the page for all the dramaness.
Drama Mamas: Rowing in opposite directions
Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. Sometimes there are good reasons that people don't make the same choices as you do. What you might consider to be a perfectly reasonable rationale for jumping ship and moving to a new guild sometimes holds no water for someone who's rowing a different direction in another dinghy. This week, the Drama Mamas take slightly different tacks with a reader who thinks her friend is lost at sea. Dear Drama Mamas, Back in January, I left a guild that I'd been an officer of for years. I left because due to internal personal issues, many of the guild members had grown apart and all that was left was myself, the GL, and one other person. In addition, the GL joined with a raid that one of her friends ran which effectively destroyed our own guild's raids. However, since then I've kept in close contact with the guild members who had left before me even though they don't speak with each other. I'm not concerned with trying to reunite the old gang because some of their issues are just too large for a game to erase. My issue is this: the old guild leader and I are great friends which has carried over to RL. She still keeps her guild even though it's effectively dead and only has one active member. The people she surrounds herself with in-game are not good for her, however. She raid that she runs with creates a huge amount of stress for her, especially the raid leader that is simply a giant jerk. She's slowly losing her love for the game due to these people that she's begun running with.
Drama Mamas: My guildies are turning into alcoholics!
Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with the Drama Mamas. Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at dramamamas@wow.com. Before we go into today's touchy topic, I just want to be clear that we are assuming all people involved are of legal age and in good health. If that is not the case, then that's a whole other issue entirely. We don't condone underage drinking or illegal activities of any kind. And now that I have piqued your interest, let's get right to it.
Drama Mamas: The curious case of That Guy vs. the Spineless Jellyfish GM
Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. Once upon a time, there was a guild member called That Guy. That Guy was typical of his kind -- abrasive in guild chat, incompetent in raids, seemingly without redeeming value ... Except that the guild always seemed to need him in order to scrape together a full raid group. His GM, the usual enemy of all That Guys in their natural habitat, turned out to be a subspecies that posed no threat to That Guy at all: the Spineless Jellyfish GM. To the horror of guild members, not only did Jelly-Belly do nothing to solve the chaos created by That Guy, but he actually wrapped his tentacles around That Guy and laughed in glee as the guild spun more and more rapidly into a vortex that threatened to suck them all into the briny depths ... Dear Drama Mamas, I am in a 25-man raiding guild on a server. We are a decent group of raiders. We have every raiding stereotype you can imagine: the yelling raid leader, the cool-as-a-cucumber DPS, and the always-has-a-strat guy, just to name a few. So as you can see, we are a typical group trying to climb to the top of the server ranking. I have been in this guild since a month after Ulduar released and I have gotten into the flow of people leaving, joining and quitting the game. It felt homey until 5 months ago, when problems started to arise. I have been having drama with one person -- not run-of-the-mill drama, either. Recurring drama.
Drama Mamas: Divorce drama
Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with the Drama Mamas. Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at DramaMamas (at) WoW (dot) com. I think it's pretty much impossible to avoid drama when it comes to divorce. Even if it's an amicable breakup, there are still the issues that caused the breakup as well as situations that must be dealt with as a result of the split. This week, Divorced asks who gets custody of the guild?
Drama Mamas: See ya around, buddy
Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. No one wants to see a good friend move on. Gaming friends seem to come in two varieties: the kind who end up at your side in game after game, across the years ... and those who drift away as soon as your immediate goals diverge. Some of them end up on your Facebook page chatting about the kids, but most fade into obscurity so quickly you find yourself struggling to remember their names. Still, you can't force a good thing, as one Sad Panda discovers this week. Hi Lisa & Robin, For the last few years I've been playing with a very close-knit group of friends, our play time with each other comes and goes as we go about our ever changing lives, (work, school, non-wow relationships), but we always keep in touch with email, and chat outside of the game. About a year or so ago we had the pleasure of including another person to our group. He's an all around great friend to have, and I think I can safely say for everyone that we've all enjoyed knowing and playing with him. Now as you know we're in the pre-expansion dead zone right now. Either you're raiding to get to, or finish end game raids, farming for rep / skills / heroics / so on, or you shelve your main(s) and bust out a new toon to level up. I've chosen the latter, I have toons on both sides of the border and have been playing on the Alliance side for some time now and really felt like dusting off my Horde toons. So both my hubbie and I are stomping around with new toons, (and old), on the horde side and a few of our other friends have joined us.
Drama Mamas: Make it work
Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with the Drama Mamas. Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at DramaMamas (at) WoW (dot) com. Wives get a bad reputation. We are often portrayed more like evil stepmothers than the helpmates and lovers that we would like to be seen as. Some of us deserve it, from time to time. But often we are just trying to be the voice of responsibility in the face of a spouse who's behaving more like a carefree teen. Supervisors and guild leaders are also put in uncomfortable situations, where they are forced to be The Bad Guy in order take care of their responsibilities. This week, we mamas put on our stern caps and wag our fingers a bit more than usual. But we really hope things turn out well for the letter writer and those he interacts with.
Drama Mamas: When the game is no laughing matter
Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced WoW players and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at DramaMamas (at) WoW (dot) com. Text communication is a touchy creature. The simplest of situations can spiral out of control in the space of a single chat pane, when players blunder along without considering the disparity between the words they've actually typed versus the message they intended to communicate. We all know how easily humor (and especially sarcasm) can fall flat on the internet. Emotes and the oh-so-snappy "LOL" seem especially prone to offending others who aren't on the same wavelength. Disaster strikes when players stop reading and start reading into what others say. This week, we'll help several players who find themselves caught up in a web of pride, honor and misrepresented intentions -- all over a loot situation that would have been simple to resolve with clear communication. Dear Drama Mamas, As a priestess who is devoted to the Light, I follow a flock where I make sure that everyone is happy and content. A few moons ago, I had gone on an adventure with several of the flock to the Halls of Stone, where we faced off against the Titan's creations and helped Brann Bronzebeard find out about the mystery of the dwarves. When we had finally retaken the Forge of Wills, we had found a weapon in possession of Sjonnir the Ironshaper, The Fleshshaper. Oh, what joy our rogue companion felt when we had finally gotten the weapon for him. Alas, that joy was suddenly shattered, as the other priest of our troupe had rolled his need dice accidentally. Our companion rogue burst into a fury like Ragnaros the Firelord, spewing out his frustration upon our dear priest, who had simply laughed off the whole affair.
Drama Mamas: How to befriend when antisocial
Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with the Drama Mamas. Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at DramaMamas (at) WoW (dot) com. We'll get to the drama in a minute, but first I must talk about the awesome avatars that the awesome Kelly Aarons of Byron and World of Warcraft, Eh? fame has awesomely drawn and painted for us. Awesome. See them after the break. Yeah, yeah. You want drama. We've got your drama right here. The thing about WoW (and MMOs in general) is that while you may be able to solo through it, the most benefits are reaped by at least a minimum of social interaction. We are answering a letter this week from someone who isn't very friendly but still wants to make and keep friends in Azeroth. Try not to get too distracted by the awesome avatars. Awesome.
Drama Mamas: The broken leveling pact
Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at DramaMamas (at) WoW (dot) com. My husband and I make concept duos. Sometimes we make duos that our friends and guildies follow; an early Horde PvP project turned into an effective reforming of our guild, which wound through the battlegrounds and eventually morphed back into PvE raiding. Sometimes we change courses (a lot). A recent level 50-ish Horde shammy/pally combo turned into an Alliance reroll so we could revisit all the Alliance quests again pre-Cataclysm, which in turn became a reroll when I decided the new mage wasn't as fun as the old pally ... And that's been fun, but we've been feeling pangs about abandoning our rogue gank squad, which stalled out somewhere in Borean Tundra when the shaman/pally bug came calling. Through all this, no matter how much we end up questing through the same old places, we've learned that it pays to stick together. We tradeskill separately, and we're cool about class-specific quests, but we try to stay neck in neck on quest progression. The whole point, after all, is to do all this crazy stuff (our current pre-Cataclysm Loremaster/Explorer quest-gasm) as a team. That's what makes it fun. But we didn't always know that. We used to get impatient if one of us didn't feel like logging in that night. We used to oh-so-innocently run up "only three levels" ahead of one another. We used to get so swept away with the thrill of the XP hunt that we forgot that the point was to accomplish it together. Dear Drama Mamas, Someone I thought was a good friend agreed to leveling a druid with me in preparation for the oncoming expansion. The plan was to get to 80 as quickly as possible, then realm transfer to a PvP server and do what we could in terms of PvP success. Then once Cataclysm was released and the feature became available, we would race change to Worgen, then work our way up the ladder again, our feral/resto combo hopefully unmatched.
Drama Mamas: Invasion of privacy
Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with the Drama Mamas. Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at DramaMamas (at) WoW (dot) com. Captain Obvious says that communication within guilds is a very good thing. But as we've seen before, sometimes too much communication can cause more drama than keeping quiet. It is smart to anticipate problems and make preparations in case they occur. But is thinking the worst of people the same as proactive problem-solving? When thinking ahead to avoid trouble, it is usually a good idea to examine your own motives and see if any prejudices are lurking that color your viewpoint. If it's possible that envy or disapproval are clouding your judgment, it is usually best to keep your mouth closed and your eyes open. I assume the best about this week's letter writer's motives for wanting to prevent drama in his guild. But in this case, motives are irrelevant to the possible drama bomb that would explode from an invasion of privacy.
