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Today's rudest video: Altair is kind of a jerk
Okay, seriously, what is this guy's problem? Nobody's bothering him. Nobody's even touching him. Yet for some reason the "hero" of Assassin's Creed just thinks he can push other people around. Luckily for Altair, it's always funny to watch people get physically harassed for no reason. Tiny glitch in the "shoving past crowds" mechanic of the game? Most likely. Hilarious for its incidentally perfect comic timing? Most definitely. Just don't try this at your local mall.
Today's most vulgar videos: Jam Sessions' instant rockstar
The North American marketing for DS guitar simulator Jam Sessions has been pretty low-key, comprised of a MySpace page, uninspired print ads, and a bevy of videos showing real artists using the non-game to play fake guitar.Off the charts, then, are New Zealand's excellent television spots for the title, which emphasize how having Jam Sessions in your DS repertoire can transform you into an instant rockstar. According to the ads, being an instant rockstar involves hitting on your buxom aunt, and cursing out your mum for baking you the wrong birthday cake. Honestly, the things those New Zealanders can get away with on television!If we haven't made it abundantly clear, these videos are definitely not-safe-for-work material. Catch all the raunchy, raucous action after the break (and not a single shot of gameplay, either!).
Today's most hilariously atrocious video: M&M's Kart Racing
Just when you thought XBLA's Yaris was in a league all its own, along comes M&M's Kart Racing on the Wii to reintroduce us to the "horribly derivative racing advergame" genre. The gameplay footage above is a true testament to the wrong way to build a kart racer.Our favorite part is when the M&M driver -- who's cruising at tortoise speeds -- repeatedly shouts "APPROACHING SOUND BARRIER!" Anyone else?Update: Well, somebody spoiled our fun and removed the YouTube video we were linking to. Luckily, however, Amazon.com features the same exact footage on the game's page. Check it out here.[Thanks, Supa. We think.]
Today's most epic music video: Cal marching band's gaming medley
Facing off against Washington State, the University of California, Berkeley's Golden Bears needed to show their might, their strength, and their willingness to perform a fatality if given a chance. During their half-time show, Cal's marching band performed a medley of video game songs, complete with gaming-themed drills (i.e. the band forms a giant Triforce and Master Sword while playing music The Legend of Zelda). Keep an ear out for Zelda, Mortal Kombat, and various Mario tunes, among others. The Golden Bears went on to defeat Washington State 20-17, thus ending their three-game losing streak. Video is embedded after the break.
Today's Segway one-upping video: Personal Yoshi
Scott Gairdner posts a short, sweet video about the advantages of riding a Yoshi over a Segway. The subtle edits and great production entertain, even if the theme is less epic than other videogame riffs. Keep a close eye--and ear--on the action for Super Mario World in-jokes.See the video after the break.[Via VideoGamesBlogger]
Today's bone-crushing video: Pain
Gamevideos shows two new clips of Pain, the extreme health insurance simulation. Well, like the rest of our murder simulators, Pain only shows the id-worthy, visceral high of crashing your sim-like characters into obstacles. Pain unrealistically omits the months and years of recovery.Anyway, the jackasses in us have been scoping this upcoming, PS3 downloadable for its visceral high and unrealistic omission of months and years of recovery. See some of the ways you'll torture your characters after the break.
Today's IP-never-dies video: Lucy and Honeymooners
MTV's Stephen Totilo "somehow wound up with an exclusive" about new casual games based on The Honeymooners and I Love Lucy. While most of us are scratching our heads about the properties, maybe this signals a new trend for old IP; there's that Dirty Dancing game after all. Clearly, these titles aren't for us. (And by "us," we mean people who get jokes about the potential for cake and also think that those jokes are played out.)Beanbag Studios anticipates launching at least one Lucy trivia game and one Honeymooners bowling game this year. Yes, these PC and cell phone games are being built into long-term franchises. Witness videos of each game after the break.
Today's iPod-rocking video: Phase trailer
MTV Games continues to publish new music titles in its $500 million spree, with the latest Harmonix development, Phase. The original Phase news reminded some of us too much of (non) game, Musika to buy. But this video clearly shows simple pattern-matching gameplay that may rock pockets better than the portable Guitar Hero.Check out the video, and contemplate your purchase after the break.
Today's most bluesy video: Harmonica Hero
While The Onion has already run a similar parody -- Sousaphone Hero -- Black20 throws its implausible instrument into the band with Harmonica Hero. The snappy fake commercial combines equal parts harmonica and gaming jokes for a tasty send-up slurry. Even those of us who don't know our Rock Band from our Guitar Hero III were amused by the video.See the clip after the break.
Today's most retro montage: Zelda ads
Currently popular on GameTrailers, we missed Skullkid700's montage of Zelda commercials from earlier in the year. Since this sort of thing only gets better with age, we're highlighting it here. We've come a long way.See the montage after the break. Yes, it includes the Zelda rap. You have been warned.
Today's just-add-Wii video: Fan-made Goonies game
Take a glimpse into the easy process of creating a Wii game out of a licensed movie IP: just add gestures. Chris Cantoe follows this spoof-by-numbers approach with amusing results. Yes, this video may be a couple weeks old, but its source material -- The Goonies -- is timeless.See the video after the break.[Via Wii Fanboy]
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Today's no-greenlight video: Contra movie trailer
This fan-made, Contra trailer for a movie that has only been made in our hearts keeps us watching as closely as in a one-hit-one-death game. The jokes sometimes miss, but the moments with quick editing and game footage look great. It's made by the same guys who brought you the Punch Out movie trailer, so expect similar shenanigans.See the video after the break.
Today's scariest video: IP gone wild
Shhhh. We're scared. Don't make a sound or the bad man will come back. We passed on a few Halloween-themed videos to post, but this is the one that gives us nightmares.See the horror in the first video after the break, and we'll even toss in those other less-scary clips as a bonus afterwards. Our eyes! They burn!
Today's apologetic video: Blame Halo 3
When he's not bringing Shatner back, MySpace user, James at War turns Akon's apologetic anthem, Sorry Blame Me, into a Halo 3 tribute. And while it's an attempt to appease the videogame widows as much a song about the game, notice how the lyrics never take responsibility; you can sense the singer slinking back to the game during the slow fade-out. Yes, that sounds like a typical gamer to us. Watch the music video after the break, and hum it to your loved ones.
Today's most edible DIY video: making a Wii cake
"Everything inside is eatable, I mean edible, I mean you can eat everything." - Gene Wilder, Willy Wonka & The Chocolate FactoryDesigner cake maker Brian Walak put his talents to good use (not to marginalize his other, impressive work, but we can't exactly cover non-gaming culinary art) and made a cake modeled after a Wii, complete with remote (but no sensor bar in sight).Wired's Chris Kohler has posted some advice from Walak for budding chefs who want to make their own Wii cake. Walak's creation got him on the Martha Stewart show to discuss the game console and his pastry. Video embedded after the break.
Today's more-than-tech-demo-video: Wii Music
GameTrailers posts a clip of -- we assume -- Wii Music from the latest press conference flurry. We know what they say about assumptions and are digging for more details. Until then, the rumored game seems to be much more than a tech demo. Now when will Video Games Live use this -- or those other games -- in a show?See the clip after the break.
Today's ads-used-to-be-this-good video: Iron Sword
Gametrailers user, BlackSad03, has posted an old ad from NES game, Iron Sword, and we wish today's ads were as exciting. We enjoy the clip on so many levels, like watching the gameplay and being sucked into the sale itself. Must... buy... Iron Sword. Our favorite take is to imagine the production of the commercial and which PA had to swing the tentacle into the room.The video is watermarked with "Gaming-Age.com," but we could only find an article there that references an equally great print ad for the game. So we send Gaming Age a nod, too.See the ad after the break.
Today's future-of-advertising-video: Yaris game
Remember that Yaris XBLA game to be released free on Wednesday? Gametrailers user, warchiefgrim, uploaded a clip. We hope this video convinces you to save the precious bandwidth of the internet and pass on the game; even "free" costs too much. Things we learned: The 4-Door Sedan Yaris comes in such focus-group-approved colors as "Jade Sea Metallic," and "Flint Mica." Northbound on 101 goes straight up (and straight down) as often as it goes north. The Yaris is powered by the constant desire to catch a cat toy mounted on its roof. Sadly, the toy is always just out of reach. See the video, and add your own observations after the break.
Today's resold meme video: WoW Toyota commercial
Clearly an homage to Leeroy Jenkins, this Toyota commercial shows that World of Warcraft players can charge into battle as long as they have the right mount. The ad is apparently legitimate, although the only version we could find clips the tagline.Toyota may be a follower to showing how it can save the World ... of Warcraft, but this spot hits several in-jokes in a short amount of time. See the ad after the break.[Thanks, Mal F4cti0n and raffleski]
Today's trickiest warthog jump video: Halo: The Three Towers: Revisited
When given an opportunity to use three colons in series while maintaining grammatical correctness, we can't resist. Moving on, the other night's Skate trick video made us think of older -- but not yet retro -- uses of over-the-top Physics. When people ask why we are so excited about Forge and Gravity Hammers in Halo 3, we tell them it's because of our warthog jumping addiction. How do you warthog jump, exactly? It's simple, all you need is a few dozen grenades and a good grasp of trajectories. After the break, 30 minutes of truly clever jeep-launching excitement -- seriously, we don't want to imagine how much time was wasted in the making of this film.
