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The Perfect Ten: My biggest gaming moments in 2012
I am a complete sucker for three things: novelty soft drink flavors, Tom Servo's singing voice in MST3K, and end-of-the-year lists. Egads, I love the end of the year just for the lists alone. Everyone does them (copycats!), and I like to see how my opinions stack up against them. Plus, often I learn of cool things that happened or came out during the past year that I missed. So this is my list. My end-of-2012 list. I am devoting the 26th Perfect Ten of 2012 to the top 10 moments in MMO gaming and blogging. It was a rollercoaster of highs and lows, and looking back, I don't think I could've predicted half of the major events that happened in this industry. That's what I like about this gig: It keeps me on my toes.
The Perfect Ten: Absolutely ridiculous cash shop selections
This past week, the Money Gnomes at Turbine tested the waters with the idea of selling a $50 horse in Lord of the Rings Online. Oh, not just any horse, mind you: It's a toy hobby horse. For $50. The representative who asked for feedback on the item and price-point probably caused herself internal hemorrhaging by stating, "This is not a joke." The fans responded, "Of course, and the sky is made out of blue cheese." At the very least, it allowed the more creative players to come up with humorous expressions of incredulity. The fun finally came to an end when the studio announced that the "experimental" price point was a failure. Of course, this is by far not the first time a game studio's attempted to sell a ridiculous item, an item with a ridiculous price point, or both combined. If you sell it, after all, the rubes will come. So in the spirit of a $50 hobby horse that costs something like $20 in real life to acquire, here are 10 completely ridiculous items that we've seen in MMO cash shops.
The Perfect Ten: Holiday shopping for the MMO gamer
With Thanksgiving almost under wraps in the states (Canada got an earlier patch of Thanksgiving because the devs love that country), the starter pistol is about to go off for the busiest shopping season of the year. Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and oh-crap-it's-Christmas-Eve-and-only-a-gas-station-is-open are all shopping experiences ahead on the calendar, but perhaps the most challenging experience is that of buying the perfect gift for an MMO gamer. Sure, you could just phone it in and buy a time card, some cash shop points, a subscription or two, or even a Prima strategy guide if you really hated the person, but a proper MMO gift goes beyond that. For a great gift, you need to put in some effort and actually research the field... or just be lazy and use my following guide. We both know which option you're going to choose. So while you slowly digest that turkey and moan about having to waddle your butt down to Best Buy at 3:00 a.m., why not allow me to help you with a few shopping suggestions? For this list, I wanted to focus on game-specific merchandise that isn't t-shirts, game cards, or CafePress coffee mugs. I mean, this shirt is the bomb and all, but we can do better!
The Perfect Ten: Character creation options nobody uses
There are two types of people in the world: those who can't get through the character creation menu fast enough to start playing "LordBladezz" and those who spend hours crafting the perfect face that will be seen by the player only 0.03% of the time. I've heard rumors of a species of middle-ground player, but I've yet to see one. I think there could be a doctoral thesis for someone willing to investigate which visual character creation options most of us use and which ones we ignore. My hunch is that most of us are looking to recreate an impeccable standard of beauty or handsomeness, resulting in game worlds exploding with Abercrombie & Fitch models. Because exploring the "most-used character creation options" isn't as much fun, today we're going to examine the 10 options that pretty much nobody uses. And yes, you'll feel compelled to comment that you do indeed use one of these and prove me wrong, so let me give you a gold star in advance for doing so. You're awesome.
The Perfect Ten: Stages of returning to an old MMO love
In my illustrious career of sitting on my butt and mashing the 1-4 buttons over and over, I've returned to many MMOs like an addicted boomerang. I learned early on never to say those immortal words of, "I quit and I'm never coming back! This is it!" because that was only setting myself up for major pie in the face later. Better to return with a head held high than to slink through the doors of the account page, hoping that nobody sees me. We return to MMOs a lot, don't we? There are so many reasons we do it and they're mostly boring, so I'm not interested in talking about them here. But what I do want to chart is the progression I've seen in myself and others as we've come back to an old MMO flame. I've identified 10 stages (well, 11 really) that the returning gamer goes through, and in the interest of SCIENCE, I want to be the first to write the defining document of this significant process.
The Perfect Ten: Worst expansion names of all time
When SOE announced that EverQuest's 19th expansion would be titled Rain of Fear, I instantly found myself tripping over the name. I shouldn't have -- it's a few simple words that are first round picks for spelling contests -- but it defied the traditional naming conventions for MMO expansions. Many people I talked to kept wanting to write "reign" instead because "rain" seemed like a deliberate misspelling by some intern in Smedley's empire. Homophones aside, Rain of Fear is hardly the worst expansion title I've ever seen. The industry has had its share of bad names, from the confusing to the downright unpronounceable. Sure, we get used to these titles, and perhaps it's nit-picky to lug them out at such a late point in many of their lifespans, but petty is my middle name. My first name is Tom. And these are 10 poorly named expansions. Deal with it.
The Perfect Ten: Most interesting retired Massively columns
One of the perks of working at Massively is that you get to see everything "behind the scenes," as it were. There's not as much drama as you may think, but there's an awful lot of weirdness, detailed conversations about inconsequential whimsy, and Jef's cat pictures. It's also given me access to lists of all of the site's history, including a list of all of our retired columns. Not every column goes on indefinitely, and some die only to be resurrected at a later date. But one day I got curious about all of them -- especially the ones before my time here on the site -- and that curiosity led to my creating a list of the most interesting ones. So today, let's examine 10 columns you won't see on Massively these days (for better or worse), ones that were certainly captivating during their run.
The Perfect Ten: Ways MMOs explain infinite resurrection
Why? Why do we die in MMOs and receive an infinite number of resurrections? Are we in a type of hell defined by endless combat and suffering, doomed to never escape the cycle? Is this a cruel experiment being performed by supreme alien beings from afar? Does that make us the living undead, immortal Highlanders, or something even more significant? If you're looking at me with that look you have in your eye right now, I'd like to remind you that asking these questions is more in line with the core of RPGs than just mashing the 1-2-3 buttons. The rules that make up and dictate our virtual lives should have both meaning and sense, yet so many of these games expect us to just blithely accept that we can come back from the dead over and over without nary an explanation. Well, I like explanations. Even if it's just polite nonsense, a thought-out reason as to why our characters are death-proof tells me that the devs treat their game with a higher degree of integrity than others. So here are 10 MMOs in which the endless cycle of death and resurrection gets at least a backhanded explanation instead of "shut up, just accept it."
The Perfect Ten: Ways Guild Wars 2 beats the pants off of Guild Wars
As a gamer who went through all of the original Guild Wars campaigns and spent the better part of a year or so doing it, I reluctantly came to the conclusion that while it was a fine game and pretty to behold, it wasn't for me. I felt it was too grindy and at times way too difficult, and I couldn't connect with it the way I did with other MMOs. That's why I'm celebrating Guild Wars 2's launch: This is the game I wanted from ArenaNet from the get-go. It most certainly carries the torch of the franchise, particularly in its lush world-building and incredible vistas, but it does the most important thing a sequel should do: preserve the good, add bold new ideas, and drop the dead weight. At risk of offending those who hold the original Guild Wars as a sacred cow (blasphemooey?), I present the top 10 ways Guild Wars 2 most definitely beats the pants off of its predecessor.
The Perfect Ten: Stock fantasy enemies from lamest to coolest
One theory of MMOs is that they represent several parallel universes, each with similarities and differences. This may explain why so many of them claim to be boldly original and yet carry the same monster DNA that exists everywhere else. Today we're going to carefully unpack our ancient collector's edition of stock fantasy enemies. Blow off the dust and smell that nostaglia, mhmm. Sure, they've seen better days, but they're still good, right? Still solid. Still capable of entertaining us, even if we've slaughtered their kin a thousand times over. Let me show you my collection of 10 stock fantasy enemies that we encounter all the time in MMOs. Just for fun, I'm going to order them from lamest to coolest. I would be number 11, by the way.
Samsung Exynos 5 Dual white paper confirms new high marks for mobile graphics, memory performance
Our SIGGRAPH demo of the ARM Mali-T604 GPU gave a brief preview of Samsung's upcoming Exynos 5 Dual CPU, but now all the details of the company's next great processor are ready for us to view. Other than that GPU which includes support for up to WQXGA (2,560 x 1,600) resolutions -- perfect for the 11.8-inch P10 mentioned in court filings -- and much more, the white paper uncovered by Android Authority also mentions support for features like Wi-Fi Display, high bandwidth LPDDR3 RAM running at up to 800MHz with a bandwidth of 12.8GBps, USB 3.0 and SATA III. It also claims the horsepower to decode 1080p video at 60fps in pretty much any codec, stereoscopic 3D plus handle graphics APIs like OpenGL ES 3.0 and OpenCL 1.1. All of this is comes courtesy of a dual-core 1.7GHz ARM Cortex-A15 CPU built on the company's 32nm High-K Metal Gate process and Panel Self Refresh technology that avoids changing pixels unnecessarily to reduce power consumption. There's plenty of other buzzwords and benchmarks floating around in the PDF, you can check them out in the PDF linked below or just sit back and see what tablets and phones arrive with one of these -- or the competition from Qualcomm's S4 and NVIDIA's Tegra -- inside starting later this year.
Mystery Samsung GT-P8110 tablet passes through the FCC (update: likely not the P10)
We know our fair share about the redesigned Galaxy Note 10.1, but wait -- what's this? Another Samsung tablet, the GT-P8110, has made a trip through the FCC to complicate what was looking to be a simple near-future strategy for the Korean tech giant. The likely Galaxy Tab variant isn't a familiar design by any stretch, with curved sides and the absence of a back antenna window pointing to a change in aesthetics. The wireless features of the 16GB model at the agency are the conservative elements -- there's just 802.11n WiFi, Bluetooth and NFC. Our only current hint at what the unknown slate might be is a mention of the 11.8-inch P10 in court evidence, but we don't know if that's what the P8110 represents or if the P10 is even on track for 2012, as Samsung's roadmap hinted in the past. We're not counting on Mobile Unpacked to shed any more light on the subject than the FCC does today. Update: We're less inclined to think it's the P10, since the dimensions as we understand them wouldn't realistically support that 11.8-inch screen.
The Perfect Ten: Goosebump trailers
I love trailers. Man, I love trailers. I'm almost embarrassed to admit it, but sometimes I'll spend a shameful hour just flipping through all of my favorite movie and game trailers. When the editing is tight and the music spot-on, my spine becomes infused with epicness and I feel a heady buzz that comes from seeing so much awesome crammed into such a short clip. Just as in the movie industry, MMO studios are hit or miss with their trailers. There have been so many generic, forgettable videos that I pad the lining of my imaginary dog's crate with them. They're very absorbent and release the fresh scent of pine. But once in a while, there comes along a trailer that acts like the Dark Crystal, sucking my soul right into it before shaking it around and then releasing it. Trailers like that give me goosebumps, and here are 10 of them, all in a row.
The Perfect Ten: Amazing amateur MMO cosplay
I find the whole cosplay subculture at conventions to be both foreign and fascinating. On one hand, I deeply admire the dedication and time it takes to put together a complex outfit and then spend all day wearing this custom-made sweatsuit. On the other hand, it does tend to bring out some folks' narcissism and unnecessary cleavage. While many facets of geek and video game culture are adequately represented by those crazy cosplayers, I don't see as much when it comes to MMORPGs. Was it truly underrepresented, I wondered, or have I just never looked? Consider the following 10 costumes the result of an afternoon or two combing through so much amateur cosplay that it vastly exceeded the recommended amount as set by the American Medical Association. I'm glad to make the sacrifice for you, and besides, you just know those doctors are the ones in these outfits, anyway. (Please note that if you're looking for more skin than skill, this will not be the list for you!)
The Perfect Ten: MMO Jukebox
Earlier this year, I got to expose my musically nerdy side to you all in a one-two shot of MMO theme song countdowns. The truth is that I'm just a huge sucker for video game music, and as such, I've collected a wide range of MMO scores to bolster my MP3 player. I know that we players tend to be pretty vocal about turning off MMO music at some point, usually due to extreme repetition. Unfortunately, that seems to leave a bad association with this music in our minds, and I don't feel that reputation is deserved. MMO scores can be just as good -- if not better -- than their counterparts in film or other video games. So I've decided that every so often I'm going to devote a full Perfect Ten to sharing my favorite MMO music. I'm always open to suggestions, of course, so if you know of a track that you feel really should be in the next list, send me an email or leave it in the comments!
The Perfect Ten: Worst MMO launches of all time
First things first: Whatever MMO release is currently ticking you off is the worst launch of all time. It would be folly of me to try to convince you otherwise. You've been roundly slapped in the face and you don't want me to convince you that the pain was in vain. I understand. Getting past that, however, would it be possible to examine the subsequent 10 worst launches in the MMO industry? If your trauma isn't too great, that is. It would be? Terrific! What constitutes a horrible game launch is varied, although each and every one of the following games made an unfortunate blunder that caused the title to stumble instead of sprint out of the gate. It's not the end of the story, of course, but it does make for a good tale to tell to youngsters camping in the open woods or a particularly seedy LAN center.
The Perfect Ten: The truth about lockboxes
Call them lockboxes, lootboxes, super packs, gift packs, treasure boxes, mystic chests, or Chupacabra's lunchpails, but these virtual boxes of mystery, fame, and fortune are all the rage in MMOs these days. Few studios have resisted the siren's call of such easy money, much to the dismay of many-a-gamer. The idea is that a game will dish out to players free locked treasure boxes that require purchased keys to open. The allure of the box's mystery prize is often too strong to resist, especially when there's the possibility of a huge reward inside. The result too often is strong buyer's remorse and studio glee. There's been a lot of conversation around lockboxes here on Massively, so I wanted to dedicate this week's Perfect Ten to dissecting the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth of these items for you.
The Perfect Ten: Guild Wars 2 gravestone epitaphs
The dead tell the best stories, they say. Outside of Divinity's Reach in Guild Wars 2 is a graveyard. It's the type of place that you run through quickly on your way to more lively settings, unless a zombie attack emerges. It was the type of place that I was running through quickly during the previous beta weekend when I realized that the gravestones could be examined -- and each and every one of them had an interesting epitaph to read. Some crazy ArenaNet writer sat down one afternoon and wrote out dozens and dozens of gravestone inscriptions on the off-chance that any of us would slow down enough to read them. It paid off in my case. This may be one of the most trivial Perfect Tens I've ever done, so forgive me with being absolutely fascinated by the epitaphs that came up during my explorations. With an absolute economy of words, each gravestone tells a complete story. Some are funny, some are dark, some play into the lore, and some actually managed to be quite moving. Here are my 10 most favorite that I found. Maybe they'll haunt you as they do me.
The Perfect Ten: Free-to-play holdouts
In the increasingly diminishing field of subscription-only MMOs, two distinct camps have formed. There is the Old Guard that has its established playerbase and is simply not interested in jumping on board the F2P train, and then there are the New Kids on the Block (which would make an excellent band name, by the way), who argue that their premium features and AAA content warrant a subscription in the F2P age. A few years ago, doing a list of the final few F2P holdouts would have been a ridiculous proposition, but now it's actually difficult to get to 10 of these. Each company has a different reason that it hasn't given these games more flexible payment options (FPO should replace F2P; pass it on!), and while some have addressed this publicly, others say nothing and leave us to speculate on it. For today's Perfect Ten, we're going to look at the 10 biggest current F2P holdouts in the industry and muse about what's going on behind the scenes. Will this list be impossible to do in a few years or will subscription-only titles come back in a big way? Hey, I don't predict things; I just make lists.
The Perfect Ten: MMO tributes to real-life people
When a beloved friend, family member, hero, or role model dies, we feel the pain of that loss and grieve in many different ways. Part of that grieving and healing process is often entails those left behind constructing some sort of tribute to the dearly departed. Sometimes this comes in the form of a shrine of flowers, sometimes it's the establishment of a charity, and sometimes it's creating an in-game memorial that thousands if not millions of people will see over the course of years. So while death and illness are depressing topics to dwell upon, I find the many MMO tributes that studios and even gamers have erected to be inspiring and a celebration of individual players' lives. With the help of my fellow Massively staffers, I researched 10 wonderful in-game tributes that serve to honor the lives of fellow gamers.
