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Final Fantasy XIII petition video is an instant comedy classic
[Update: Apparently this is a video of Kevin Bowen of Something Awful fame (infame?), making us 99.999% sure that it's a joke. Thanks, commenters.]We can't really decide whether or not the ridiculously over-the-top mad genius in this Final Fantasy XIII petition video (some slightly NSFW language) is for real or not. On the one hand, the know-it-all, spittle-flecked delivery and lines like "I personally do not admire this game any more," seem like a satire of every fanboy stereotype in the book. On the other hand, the final few minutes of the video are delivered with such passion ("I don't think you realize how emotionally invested some of your fans are!") that it feels almost real. Regardless of its veracity, the video is an instant comedy classic, intentionally or not. If there's any justice in the world, references to"public sue-de-ku" and "Final Fantasy [making] its final sale" will live on as inside jokes in the gaming community for years to come.
CCP Games outlines GM hierarchy in EVE Online
The latest EVE Online dev blog comes from GM Zhainius, who writes about customer support at CCP Games. Over the 5 years EVE Online has been running, the GM staff has answered millions of petitions in addition to writing articles and guides. But their work is typically in the background; it's the devs that really get the attention. GM Zhainius felt like writing to clarify the inner workings of CCP Games in terms of customer support, and to give players a clearer picture of what happens when they file a petition. GM Zhainius dispels rumors that Game Masters at CCP are volunteers. They're all paid employees, some of whom have been doing their job for years. He also cites a low turnover among CCP's GM staff; in fact, a number of them have been with EVE before the game even launched. The GMs work from four locations worldwide: Reykjavik, Atlanta, Düsseldorf, and Shanghai. He lays out the company's entire customer support structure and the groups or 'cells' the support team is divided into. The EVE dev blog is an interesting look behind-the-scenes into how CCP customer support is handled, and whether or not you're a satisfied customer, it's always good to know that at least someone is reading those ship reimbursement petitions.
If you love JRPG's, why not sign a petition?
We don't normally fall into the "sign this petition" realm of things. However, many of the staff at PS3 Fanboy have felt the reason they bought a PS3, aside from their blind love for the console by itself, has been ignored. This reason is what made the PS One and PS2 so successful (believe it or not): the JRPG. Only a few have been announced, even fewer coming stateside. While we probably won't see the likes of Agarest Senki or Tears to Tiara here, we'll see Disgaea 3 and Valkyria Chronicles before the end of the year -- however, these all are SRPG's.Over at the PS3Forums, a petition has started and is getting swirled around to many different places, with its final destination being Sony itself. The petition is to get an answer about Sony's stance on the JRPG this generation -- are announcements coming? Will we see White Knight Story, Star Ocean 4, the oft-rumored Shin Megami Tensei PS3 title at all this year? If you love JRPG's, sign their petition. It only takes a few seconds and who knows -- it might actually get us a pretty detailed answer. Especially now that Sony is more eager to secure exclusives from third party developers.
Stride Gum pitching in to stop Uwe Boll
Sometimes news comes across our digital desk that's just too odd not to pass along to you. This is just one of those stories: The makers of Stride Gum are putting 1 million packs of gum on the line to put a stop to Uwe Boll's directing career. In short, if this petition receives another 764,000 signatures or so by May 14, the company's going to give every one of the signers a free pack of gum on May 23.Wait, this is a publicity stunt? Oh, yeah, we know. But you know what else we know? We love free gum. These are the kind of moral quandaries you get into every day as a video game blogger, but we're pretty sure we made the right call on this one.
Google calls for FCC to force open access rules or block Verizon's 700MHz bid
It looks like Verizon isn't taking those 700MHz spectrum open access rules very seriously, and a certain competing bidder isn't real happy. In a petition filed with the FCC by Google, the company alleges that Verizon is willfully ignoring the "plain meaning of the [open access] rule" by suggesting it will allow one type of access for users who use Verizon-approved devices, and another for those using third-party units. According to the document, "Verizon's position would completely reverse the meaning of the rule such that the open access condition would apply to none of Verizon's customers, and thereby render the condition a nullity." The search giant is calling for the FCC to block Verizon's $4.7 billion bid on the spectrum unless the company agrees to comply with the previously-decided open access rules. Since this isn't the first inkling we've had that Verizon wasn't down with open access, we're not surprised, but it looks like Google has a little more fight left in them -- and that could make all the difference. [Warning: PDF read link][Via IP Democracy; Thanks, Bram]
One million signatures to keep Uwe Boll directing
We feel kind of dirty giving any sort of attention to the cancerous boil on film directing that is Uwe Boll, but when the guy is acting this freaking weird we just can't help ourselves. Boll has followed up his offer to stop directing if an online petition against him reached 1,000,000 signatures with a heavily-accented YouTube video that manages to insult Eli Roth, Michael Bay, George Clooney and practically all of Hollywood as "fucking retards" that don't understand that Boll is "the only genius in the whole fucking business."While Tinseltown insults are all well and good, what really interested us was Boll's call for a "pro Boll petition" to counteract the anti-Boll forces. Boll said he "expect[s] a million votes, Pro Boll," and he's already well on his way, with a whopping 72 signatures so far on the Pro-Boll petition set up by FilmDrunk.com. That's a far cry from the 137,644 that have signed the anti-Boll petition as of this writing, but maybe it takes "the only genius in the whole fucking business" to understand the vagaries of the math involved.Watch the video and read a transcript of Boll's rant after the break.
One million signatures to end Uwe Boll's directing career
You'll never be able to get back those eight-and-a-half bucks you blew on your ticket for Uwe Boll's "Alone In The Dark", but those seeking revenge against the infamous German filmmaker will be pleased to know that a recent interview with FEARnet revealed a giant glowing weak point in his floundering directorial career -- amidst Nazi humor and PETA endorsements, Boll commented on a petition, currently at around 18,000 signatures, for him to forever put an end to his game franchise-defiling ways. It'll take more than that to derail his train of box office catastrophes, he claimed -- though one million signatures should do the trick.We doubt one million people have even been exposed to Boll's unique brand of sensory torment -- but still, this remains your best chance to fulfill any vendettas you may hold against the pugnacious producer. With enough door-to-door campaigning and MySpace chain letters, this lofty goal may be attainable. If not, we can always hold out hope for the merciful release of bankruptcy.
A petition for penguins in WotLK
As you may have heard, there is a serious issue awaiting us in the next expansion. Blizzard has kept us in the dark for a while, but after careful consideration, we at WoW Insider believe it's time to throw our considerable weight (we are, after all, one of the top 50 most influential blogs in the world, with all of the benefits and perks contained therein) behind what the players have asked for, time and time and time again.Yes, we're making our stance official: there definitely need to, in some way, shape or form, be penguins in Northrend. Not only would it obviously win us the Linux vote, but consider the facts: penguins are birds, they don't fly, and penguins lay eggs. Of course, there is one problem: Penguins (order Sphenisciformes, family Spheniscidae) are only found in Antarctic regions, which means there aren't any in the Northern parts of the world (which, in Azeroth, is right where the aptly named Northrend is). But then again, this is a world where dragons can turn into women and people can shoot fire out of their fingertips -- surely, Blizzard can stretch the science just so we can have some cute little formally-dressed birds up there.So while petitions are banned on the forums, we here at WoW Insider know the power that you, our readers, carry, and we want you to add your voice to ours. Sign the comments section below if you agree: when the Alliance and the Horde hit the shores of Northrend, we of course want to see Arthas, and we'd like to have Death Knights, and we want a floating Dalaran and Tuskarr (yes, with a bukkit quest) and Forsaken architecture. But everyone who leaves a comment on this post, Blizzard, wants, almost more than all of that other stuff, just one thing in Northrend: penguins.We want penguins. /signed.
iPod touch owners rally to get new apps for free
When Steve Jobs announced five new apps for the iPod Touch yesterday, people were ecstatic -- for about ten seconds. Once he mentioned the upgrade would cost current iPod touch owners $20 (they're included on all new units), most of the comments from participants following the keynote in TUAW's IRC channel were largely unprintable. Apple's customers aren't usually the sort to take things lying down, however, so now there's an online petition calling on Apple to make the apps free to current customers. As I write this, there are close to 600 signatures and climbing.It's worth noting that Michael Rose and John Gruber pondered the possibility of iPod touch updates and user costs back in October 2007, as Apple's quarterly earnings report indicated that the iPhone's subscription accounting model was not being used for the touch. At the time it wasn't clear what would happen when functional updates to the iPod touch were released; now we know that they come with a price tag.[Thanks, Daniel!]
Singstar players are unhappy with the state of community features
We don't usually write about petitions for two reasons. One, they're usually requesting one game or another to be made available on a platform of their choice and, two, because they rarely work. This petition regarding Singstar, however, does highlight some problems regarding the game that we have ourselves noticed since its release. Singstar has been given pretty good reviews so far (we'll have some in depth thoughts up for you within the next few days), because it has pushed what it did on the PS2 towards new, online, horizons. Unfortunately, the reality of these features, and what Sony promises, don't match up. The Singstar servers for the SingStore and My Singstar Online have been flaky, at best, with frequent time-outs and periods of downtime. Not only that, but Sony promised 350 songs on the SingStore at launch, whereas there are currently less than 100 (though closer to 50).This wouldn't be so bad if there wasn't text within the game itself which clearly states that there are "hundreds of songs available to download", or if there was some sort of community news update which would let people know what's going on. As it is, people are left in the dark and are getting frustrated.
Petition to keep HD DVD alive appears online
Sure enough, an online petition has appeared that HD DVD supporters can rally around. Click on through to read (and sign, if that's your persuasion) the petition, which puts check marks in the "cheaper" and "better tech specs" columns for HD DVD. With recent talk about Universal and Paramount going blu, this feels seriously desperate. When we checked, 2,151 signatures were on the petition. That's 2,151 people who should both: a) own the format and b) feel that it's in danger of being abandoned by Warner, Universal and Paramount. Sorry guys, but it looks like the HD DVD group is busy talking behind closed doors.[Thanks, pimpdee976!][Image courtesy The National Archives]
A DS sequel to Shantae rests in our hands
Remember Shantae? WayForward certainly does -- the Contra 4 developer spent two years producing the delightful Game Boy Color platformer, only to see it die a death at retail, its chances cruelly crushed by the increasing obsolescence of its host platform, as well as the rise of the newly released Game Boy Advance. Boasting an engrossing mix of Metroid-style puzzles and neat visual tricks, the game was an unsung gem that emphatically failed to register on the gaming public's radar.A sequel was planned for the Advance, only for the project to be inexplicably shelved with the game 50% complete, but WayForward hasn't forgotten about the series entirely. With the all-conquering Contra 4 now out on store shelves and begging to be bought, the developer has posted a poll on its site, asking whether or not we'd be interested in purchasing a Shantae follow-up, and what platform we'd like it to appear on.Hence, we implore all of you to hit the link below and get your vote on. If you're still wavering about giving thirty seconds of your time to one of the best DS-related causes we've heard of in ages, go past the break for footage of the canned GBA title.Then go and get your vote on.
The Starcraft 2 petition
So I wandered over to Blizzplanet this morning to check out what new information they might have, about the Wrath of the Lich King, about the upcoming patches, really anything of interest. Now, I only recently got into the Starcraft universe, really since the announcement about a sequel being in development. It was at that time that I decided to pick up a copy of the game and see what it was all about. RTS had never been my genre, but I am really enjoying the game for multiple reasons. So when I saw the petition listed on Blizzplanet, I was intrigued.In Starcraft2, Blizzard's new addition to the genre, there are many things that have reappeared. Characters we know and love are back, albeit with some updates. The most notable change in the characters aside of their appearance is their voices. Evidently Blizzard has decided to go with new voice actors for this project, which leaves diehard Starcraft fans feeling disjointed and more than a little irritated. Thus Blizzplanet has put together a petition, and no it's not to bring back the Firebat. The petition is to let Blizzard know how much the players of Starcraft want to hear the same voice acting in Starcraft 2. The voice work in Starcraft was particularly brilliant, and was a huge part of what gave the game its personality. They ask that Blizzard work with the people that brought that magic to the first game. It really isn't a lot to ask, it just requires a change in Blizzard strategy. Will it work? Sign the petition and find out.
Resident Evil petition gets Capcom's attention
Online petitions rarely get the attention of the publishers that they're targeting. Not in this case, however. The official call for a Resident Evil PSP game has earned the attention of Capcom. In an e-mail sent to the petition creator, a Capcom representative made note that for real results to be seen, 10,000 signatures would be needed: "As we plan for future games the team will definitely consider the fans and specifically your petition. It does have impact. Keep me updated on the number of signatures. If you get over 10,000 that will draw significant attention."When we found out that Capcom was taking notice, we had to sign the petition. If you ignored the first call for signatures, make sure you take action now: a Resident Evil game may grace our handheld -- and who wouldn't want that?
Petition: Tell Reggie to lose some weight
The most surprising thing about Nintendo's E3 2007 press conference wasn't the Wii Zapper or the upcoming release dates or even the official announcement of Wii Fit. No, the most surprising moment of the show was when Nintendo of America President and CEO Reggie Fils-Aime's Mii ballooned to an "overweight" body-mass index of 27.51 in front of a crowd of thousands. While the ass-kicker and name-taker claimed that the extra weight came from muscle and not fat, we agree with Shigeru Miyamoto, who said that was simply a "nice excuse."The folks over at WiiHealthy aren't too happy with the public face for their weight-management system of choice. They've started a petition to convince the Regginator that "he has to lose some weight by playing healthy games on the Nintendo Wii!" Sure, there are probably more important issues to sign your name to (like a PS3 price drop, for instance) but we can definitely get behind the idea of continued good health for our favorite Nintendo revolutionary.
Petition for immediate PS3 price cut
I'm all for signing petitions. I did it once to save a tree in New York. Well it just so happens we found a petition to lower the cost of the PS3. Yet, seeing as how Sony took a major hit in the pocketbook with the PS3, asking them to lower the cost via signed petition is like haggling over a $0.10 candy bar that should've cost $1.00. Some Sony executives are still quick to point out the value in their PS3 price point, so asking for a price cut now is really just wishful thinking. Perhaps if Sony has a few major hits with their upcoming software lineup, it will escalate the call for a price cut but for now, the prospect is ludicrous. The mere act reeks of self indulgence with little regard for the cold facts on Sony's manufacturing costs. The PS3 parts will get cheaper to manufacture over time but they aren't quite there yet. It just doesn't make any financial sense to lower the PS3 right now. Maybe in five months, but not now. But hey, go ahead. Sign the petition. Can't hurt, right? [Via digg]
5,000 sign petition, Bioshock CE possible
Bioshock fans are a vocal bunch and went as far as to demand 2K Games create a collector's edition for their underwater adventure. So, a fan created an online petition to rally support for a Bioshock CE and possibly ruffle a few of 2K Games' feathers in the process. The online petition didn't go unnoticed, because 2K Games posted a response on the Cult of Rapture website stating they'd create a collector's edition if the petition received 5,000 signatures. And we're proud to report that as of this posting the petition has just gone over the 5,000 signature mark! We still recommend signing the petition if your inner fanboy yearns for a Bioshock CE, because more signatures can only help. Now we just have to wait for Gamestop to put up a Bioshock CE preorder page. The ball is in your court 2K Games ... you did make a promise.
UK residents petition BBC to make new on-demand TV service cross-platform
This one goes out to all the UK TUAW readers in the audience: apparently, the BBC is planning to launch a smashing new on-demand, online TV service. Everything sounds super-duper until the minor detail of being Windows-only. This of course ruffles more than a few feathers, especially since the BBC purports to provide "services for everyone, free of commercial interests and political bias," so residents have created a petition to help the BBC see the error of their ways. The petition is open to UK residents only, and August 20th, 2007 is the deadline for joining the fight.While I don't have many details on why exactly the BBC has gone Windows-only with this online venture (for now), my first guess is that they're using Microsoft's DRM. Hopefully, with the DRM discussion finally rising up the ranks to those who need to can actually do something about it, petitions like this and the bad decisions that inspire them will cease to exist.Thanks Graham
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Rogues want ferrets!
No, really. It seems that a ton of new pet options have appeared in the new talent trees in 2.0.1 -- ice mages got water elementals, balance druids got those annoying trees and demonology warlocks can now summon felguards. And in the expansion, two new classes -- priests and shamans -- will be able to summon temporary combat pets at higher levels. Therefore, it comes as no surprise that rogues (semi-seriously) want in on the action. Three months ago, Eskar proposed that rogues be granted the notoriously thieving ferret as a pickpocketing combat pet, and his petition is still going strong today. Community Manager Nethaera crushed Eskar's dream by noting that ferrets are still illegal in some states, and to be true to reality, the ferret would have to occasionally become confused and attack you. Rogues then asked for spider monkeys and/or rabid raccoons. Other classes then joined in on the combat pet action. Warriors asked for throwable sharks (?!), while paladins demanded fluffy bunnies. What kind of combat pet do you think your class could use?
Another petition for Divx / Xvid support
Normally these petition efforts collapse under the crushing weight of futility, but this one, demanding Divx / Xvid support, already has over 3200 signatures.[Thanks KineticOnline]
