Punch-Out
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Today's most high-pitched video: Mike Tyson's Brunch Out
Okay, we weren't actually eating brunch when we saw this, but there was food in our mouths which we promptly spit up all over Joystiq HQ. Why? Because this is some funny stuff. While we aren't promoting violence in any fashion (except maybe cartoon violence), nor are we stereotyping Mike Tyson as some sort of crazy punching-machine, this did make us laugh.Animator Dan Meth's "The Meth Minute" is chock full of some great animation, and the voiceover work is top-notch as well. Check out this retro video in all its hilarity, but make sure you aren't eating while you do it.
What is Mike Tyson like during brunch?
This usually isn't our kind of thing, but we just had to post it because not only is it a dead-on excellent Mike Tyson impression, but a masterful use of sprites. Seriously, Mike Tyson's Brunch-Out!!! is one hilarious skit. But, you should be warned: this video is NSFW (that means it's not safe for work). Considering what time it is, we're sure most of you aren't at work right now anyway.So, enjoy.
Dojo update: Little Mac
Oh man, why couldn't he have been a playable character?We guess we can't be too upset, considering he still made his way into the game. This is something we've been dying for since the first game on the N64. Little Mac has two different attacks, his swift jabs and his special move, the uppercut. In fact, now our thoughts are drifting toward a resurrection for the franchise on the Wii.%Gallery-6869%%Gallery-3347%
DS Fanboy poll: Remakes of choice
Earlier this week, we asked you, our dear readers, to discuss games you'd like to see given a spit and a polish for the DS in this age of remakes, and as usual, you came through in a big way. In fact, you gave us so many fantastic suggestions that we've decided to split our selected list into two polls instead of just doing one. We can't include everything suggested, obviously, but we've prepared a selection of bigger releases and more obscure titles, and we're going to let you vote every day, just in case you want to throw your support behind more than one game. Once you've voted, we will profile the top two results from each poll and examine exactly why they would be well-suited to our favorite handheld. So try to vote for the titles you think are the most suitable, those that would most benefit from the kind of treatment we're seeing with the Dragon Quest and Final Fantasy titles ... and hey, vote for the games you'd just like to see in portable form as well.And if you just can't decide ... well, that's why we're letting you vote more than once! You can vote your heart and your brain, and the cream will rise to the top.
Today's most retro ad: Japanese Punch-Out!! commercial
Let's try to follow our logic: in Rocky IV, Sylvester Stallone took on Ivan Drago, the Soviet Sensation, and his victory was implicitly a victory for the United States of America. It's a US holiday. Therefore, watching a Japanese commercial for Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! is patriotic.Got that? Really? We're not sure how, it makes no sense. Anyways, video embedded after the break.
Punch-Out!! outtakes take the sad out of us
You know, for how good the winning film was in the Nintendo Short Cuts Showcase, we had a different winning video in mind (no doubt you did, as well). It was the epic story of a man dealing with loss and rising to the occasion when he thought himself all but hung out to dry. It was something so good that to scour the deadly, sharp pages of the largest Thesaurus in order to obtain synonyms to describe how immaculate it is would not be a lifetime wasted. So, how do we honor such a film of spectacular greatness? By laughing at all the bloopers the actors made in the video, past the break.
Punch-Out!! leaves HDTVs down for the count
Many who've downloaded the Virtual Console's Punch-Out!! release are reporting that the boxing game isn't playing well with their HDTVs. Timing is paramount if you want to dodge punches and have your own jabs connect, but the HDTV response lag that sometimes occurs has a habit of knocking Little Mac's bloodied face onto the canvas, leaving him too dazed to even focus his eyes on the mouthguard dropped inches away.Gamers with SDTV's haven't been experiencing any lag between their controllers and the onscreen fight, and explanations for the decreased response time lean towards blaming the televisions, so Nintendo doesn't seem to be at fault this time. Have you noticed any HDTV lag with Punch-Out!! or your other Virtual Console purchases?(We know that Mike Tyson isn't in the VC release of Punch-Out!, but we saw the above comic at The Librarianist, and couldn't stop ourselves from using it!)
Punch Out, Virtua Fighter and Bonk hit the Virtual Console
Today's Virtual Console releases all have one thing in common: a love for violence to the head. Whether it be Bonk using his noggin as a weapon, Mac delivering that eleventh uppercut to Glass Joe or Akira Yuki landing three extra backfists on the nose of his opponent, these releases are sure to spark violent tendencies in children under the age of two and one-third.Punch Out!, already out in Europe, is Nintendo's entrant for today's triumvirate of releases. The full serving, available on US Virtual Consoles at 9 a.m. PT, includes: Punch Out!! Featuring Mr. Dream (NES, 1 player, 500 points) Bonk's Revenge (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, 600 points) Virtua Fighter 2 (Genesis, 1-2 players, 800 points) [Image Credit]
Europe gets Punch Out, other virtual console classics first
OK, we're used to Japan getting cool stuff before us. That's OK -- they saved the game industry after Atari botched things up, so it's only fair that they get Final Fantasy and Gundam games early. But now we hear that Europe is getting Virtual Console games like Punch Out, Legend of the Mystical Ninja and Dragon Curse before us red-blooded Americans. Doesn't Nintendo know that Europe is supposed to get everything last? Maybe they can take some pointers from Sony on that score.I suppose we shouldn't be too mad about this, since all these games have been available for other systems for over a decade. But it's the principle of the thing. We declared our independence from European mastery back in 1776, and yet those old-worlders still get to lord their downloadable classics over us hundreds of years later. It's just not right!
New Virtual Console games on the horizon [update 1]
Yes, the U.S. Virtual Console launch line-up is a bit ... anemic. We know, it hurts. However, one has to consider why it doesn't really matter: 1) We'll all be too busy playing Twilight Princess to bother with the Virtual Console immediately, and 2) Nintendo has promised ten new Virtual Console releases per month. That's quite a bit, especially looking at how often Xbox Live Arcade is updated, but the question then becomes: what's on the horizon?Well, thanks to the ESRB, we've got a clue. The ESRB requires that games be rated before release, which obviously means that companies need to send in their product quite a bit in advance. Since they publish their ratings, we've managed to score a list of eight potentials, and quite an eight they are (all rated E for Everyone): Duck Hunt Hogan's Alley Kid Icarus Kirby's Adventure PilotWings Pro Wrestling Punch-Out Wild Gunman Kid Icarus, Duck Hunt, and Punch-Out? Holy hell. The Virtual Console is awesome.[via Joystiq][Thanks, Zeke!][Update 1: Legal issues?]
Duck Hunt, others get ESRB's thumbs-up, zapper imminent
The ESRB has approved and rated another pile of Nintendo's Virtual Console throwbacks, including: Duck Hunt (E) Hogan's Alley (E) Kid Icarus (E) Kirby's Adventure (E) PilotWings (E) Pro Wrestling (E) Punch-Out (E) Wild Gunman (E) With Duck Hunt, Hogan's Alley, and Wild Gunman making appearances, the Zapper can't be far behind. Think the E3 prototype fits the bill?[Thanks, Spindash54]
Internet casino sponsoring "Raging Boll" event
Widely known for his anti-masterpieces, House of the Dead, Bloodrayne and Alone in the Dark, German film director Uwe Boll drew plenty of internet ire in June by sending out a public challenge to his (many, many) detractors. Like any civilized and intelligent human being, Boll decided that the best way to deal with those that disagreed with his artistic vision for videogame adaptations was to punch them in the face, grr! The invitation urged haters to fly to Vancouver and meet the German in the boxing ring for a one-on-one session of metaphorically rich pummeling. Internet casino Goldenpalace.com has issued a press release stating that they will be the ones to sponsor the event, now dubbed "Raging Boll."Naturally, the prestige gained from having your event backed by an internet casino cannot be overstated. The joint's CEO, Richard Rowe, notes that Boll's attention grab is refreshingly ridiculous. "We receive so many outlandish offers for advertising exposure that it is refreshing to see something that surprises even us. That is why we decided to get involved. This has gotten so much attention so far, and we can't wait to see how it will turn out." Before starting proper on 23 September, Uwe will stop off in Spain to battle Carlos Palencia Jimenez-Arguello, a critic who has already vowed to Kill Boll (challenge video embedded in the latter section of the post). After that bout, Boll will face Something Awful's Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka, Jeff Sneider from Ain't It Cool News, Chris Alexander of Rue Morgue and Nelson Chance Minter from Website Critic. All the fights will be filmed for inclusion in Boll's Postal film, no doubt rendered vaguely entertaining by showing his face deteriorating over the course of the event. It may even prove to be beneficial to his career -- a few brutal blows to the head might be just the thing to bring him to his senses. Perhaps then he'll realize how difficult it is to hold on to credibility when you've got boxing gloves on your hands.[Via GameSetWatch]
The Wiimote as a Power Glove
From the hey, that's a great idea department comes a conceptual rendering of what it would be like to throw caution and embarrassment to the wind and strap a pair of wiimotes to your arms. The full ad depicts a guy with a Wii controller on each punch-capable limb next to some screenshots of the Xbox titles, Chronicles of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay, Breakdown and Fight Night Round 3. The connection between dual wiielding action and Super Punch-Out should be obvious in your mind, though we recommend you swiftly move on to the conclusion we reached:Namco Bandai should port Breakdown to the Wii. Immediately. The game (which had a really fun story) was critically undone by unwieldy controls and unfair combat, problems that could very well disappear when given the opportunity to beat up those pesky T'lan warriors (or hallucinated cats) by flailing your own, more reliable fists. Oh, and let's not forget the joys associated with consuming magically restorative soda and protein bars. [Via 4cr. Kudos to zaiten.]
