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The Classifieds: Why I wanna kill Arthas, in 500 words or less
The Classifieds brings you weekly news from around the WoW community, including the famous Random Acts of Uberness shout-outs to players who make WoW memorable. "The Llane forum has a great contest going from a guild named <Monolith>," writes WoW.com reader and enthusiastic tipster Gimmlette of <Spectacular Death>. "They have been around since the server went live, and with some of the top raiding guilds on Llane folding their tents and going home, that alone says a lot. The contest is ingenious and falls in the 'I wish SD had Arthas on farm so we could do this.'" What is this ingenious contest, you ask? <Monolith> is taking up to two players a week to ICC-25 to slay the Lich King -- and it's not gold they're asking for. What is this mysterious payment they're asking of applicants? "Well ... you will have to tell us why you want to kill the Lich King," writes <Monolith>'s Beruthiel. "You can do this in any number of ways: a short essay, a piece of fan fiction, a short comic or a roleplay story are all acceptable submissions! Regardless of your method, what you need to convey to us is what makes killing the Lich King important for you. We don't care about your gear, your GearScore or how amazing a player you are. What we do care about is why it is important for you to kill the Lich King. Creativity is encouraged!" If you're a Hordie on Llane who'd like to give this a whirl, visit the forum thread linked above for all the details. This sounds like a creative contest from a classy guild -- best of luck to all involved! Let's crack open The Classifieds ...
The Classifieds: The Open Ticket
The Classifieds brings you weekly news from around the WoW community, including our famous Random Acts of Uberness. When I receive an especially tasty tidbit or tip to tuck into The Classifieds, I usually nudge it quietly into my 15 Minutes of Fame or World of WarCrafts folder so that I can give it a little more breathing room and chat with the creative force behind whatever's going on. I could do that for the lead of this week's The Classifieds, too -- but I'm not going to. The folks behind TheOpenTicket.net have cast a mind-bogglingly huge net of humor and parody over an entire web site, twisting current world and WoW news into wry stories, cartoons and videos. Want more? Just explore the site -- it's all there. "TheOpenTicket.net ... (no ads, just fun) that has been writing fake news stories about Azeroth since WoW open beta," writes co-creator Caldwel. "The site is written, designed, and illustrated by myself and one other from the Shadowsong (US) guild <Redridge County College>. Up until this past January, our stories were just published solely on our guild site, but after prodding to write more stories, we decided to move it off to its own site. We do one story a week and try to tie in some timely world events. ... Our current story which mimics the iPhone4 fiasco and has the head of Gnomish Engineering handing out free rubber bumpers for the malfunctioning devices." Ready for something a little more (ahem) actual, factual about the WoW community? Let's crack open The Classifieds ...
The Classifieds: Puzzling over the world of Azeroth
The Classifieds brings you weekly news from around the WoW community, including our famous Random Acts of Uberness. While we at WoW.com are hard at work puzzling out the latest round of changes from the Cataclysm beta, we've got something for you to puzzle over as well: a "Where in the World of Warcraft?" crossword puzzle from The Puzzle Hub. This one's themed around places throughout Azeroth, Outland and Northrend. If that mind-bender strikes your fancy, there's a "Who in the World of Warcraft?" version, too. Thanks for the tip, Benji -- these look they'll most assuredly help keep our minds off the agony of watching beta test class changes scritching and scratching back and forth. Let's crack open The Classifieds ...
The Classifieds: She'll be coming 'round the mountain
The Classifieds brings you weekly news from around the WoW community, including your shout-outs to perpetrators of the famous Random Acts of Uberness. Have you ever wondered what lies on the other side of the mountain? What's going on down there below your flight-path flyover? Wonder no more: The Glitch Hunters have arrived to show you the unspoiled areas of vanilla WoW in all their pre-expansion glory. Contrary to their name, The Glitch Hunters explore entirely on live servers with no exploits or trickery. They use simple tactics to gain access to difficult-to-reach areas, including Levitate, Slow Fall, vehicle mounts, Death Grip and the liberal use of pally bubbles. "We're traversing the continents and documenting all the weird and unique landscapes and borked terrain before the Cataclysm revision hammer destroys them for good," explains Glitch Hunter Alyssa of Dawnbringer (US). Explore the entire series -- now some six episodes deep -- on The Explorers League YouTube channel. If the scenery of classic WoW leaves you feeling nostalgic, wander through our growing collection of galleries devoted to zones that will soon feel the sweeping hand of the approaching Cataclysm: Undercity, Scholomance, Eye of Eternity, Shattrath City, Sunwell Plateau, Azshara, Tirisfal, Redridge, Stranglethorn Vale, Western Plaguelands, Quel'danas, Trial of the Crusader, Deadwind Pass, Teldrassil, Tanaris, Blackrock Mountain, Thunder Bluff, Feralas, Mulgore, Moonglade, Ironforge, Westfall, Darnassus, Thousand Needles. Vanilla WoW holds many charms -- but if it's more current news you're after, let's crack open The Classifieds!
The Classifieds: Back for more
The Classifieds brings you weekly news from around the WoW community, including your shout-outs to perpetrators of Random Acts of Uberness. They came, they went ... And now <There and Back Again> is -- well, back again. This Thorium Brotherhood (US-A) guild, formed specifically to quest its way through a farewell tour of vanilla WoW Alliance content from start to finish, has hit the level cap, marked its territory and is preparing to launch a similar effort Horde-side. "After starting with over 100 members who joined us (in most part due to your article!), we ended up with around 35 who stuck through to the very end," reports GM Mistigris. "Lots of adventures along the way! Foot races through Stranglethorn, marches through Dalaran, cooking contests, random dungeon madness, tons of visits to the NPC that turns off XP ... We did ZG and Karazhan at very close to level cap, and there is a robust kernel of folks who are gearing up for 80th heroics and raiding." Time now for the flip side of the coin. "We're going to nest within <Imminent Rueage> on Thorium Brotherhood (US-H)," Mistigris continues. "Our starting date is Saturday the 24th of July -- starting zones and guild invites galore! Level cap for the day is 12th; we'll be gathering the following week at Crossroads for our first 'official' event." If you've been looking for just the right way to wrap up the pre-Cataclysm era, look up <Imminent Ruage> and give all things Horde-side one more for the road. We've got plenty of other news from around the WoW community this week, as well ... So let's crack open The Classifieds.
Choose My Adventure: Stories and recruitment
Choose the adventures of the WoW.com staff as we level our characters in <It came from the Blog> on Zangarmarsh (US-PvE-H). I will be streaming my session tonight. Details to be posted just before it goes live. Robin Torres as Robinemia, the undead mage: Wednesday, 11 p.m. EDT Fox Van Allen as Foxlight, the blood elf paladin: Saturday, 8 p.m. EDT Michael Sacco as Sahko, the orc warlock; Christian Belt, as Selfloathius, the blood elf warlock; Elizabeth Harper as Faience, the troll shaman; Matthew Rossi as Andrenorton, the troll mage; Michael Gray as Grayfields, the tauren hunter; Adam Holisky as Adammentat, the tauren druid; and Gregg Reece as Sandwichdoc, the shaman, will be making appearances as they can. We have stories from Patent, Sandwichdoc and Selfloathius. Also, as I have said before, Robinemia needs help.
The Classifieds: Where in the world is Sofa?
The Classifieds brings you weekly updates on news from around the WoW community. Have guild news or a Random Act of Uberness to share? Send it to TheClassifieds@wow.com. Waldo's for noobs. Carmen Sandiego belongs in the kiddie pool. The name of the game for deep-diving members of <Kumpania> (Turalyon [US-A]) is "Where in Azeroth is Sofa?" You see, <Kumpania> GM Cowpies is no couch potato -- he's got "Sofa," his alt, running all across Azeroth to find the ultimate hiding spot for a hide-and-go-seek contest awarding the lucky winner a cool 4,000 gold. Each day, contestants poke through clues posted on the guild forums and make their best guesses in guild chat. "If the guess is close enough to his location, he logs into the contest toon," explains guild officer Mellyne, "and if you're in line of sight, you win." A few sample clues: Sounds like a CLASSIC from 1973. When you figure out what these have in common, it will help you down the road: Benjamin Franklin, Ronald Reagan, Joan of Arc, John McCain, Hellen Keller, David Letterman, Phil Collins, Carol Burnett, Michelangelo, Barack Obama. It would be hard to put a square peg here. ... If I face NW of my location, I feel the bitter sting. You must "listen" and be "turned on" to get some clue as to my location. Sound like fun? <Kumpania> members think so, too. Despite a winner last week, everyone had so much fun that Cowpies/Sofa is starting another round with an all-new location and all-new clues. "We're not a raiding guild, we're a social/leveling guild that occasionally makes a Naxx run," Mellyne says. "This contest does wonderful things for us, bringing members together and getting them on our website. Even for the folks not participating, it's truly funny to watch everyone making their guesses." Kudos to Cowpies for donating the time, prize money and creative energy to make this four-year guild tradition such a resounding success. (And by the way, Sofa's location from the photo above is listed at the end of this week's column.) Let's crack open The Classifieds ...
The Classifieds: The incredible Incredibles meetups
The Classifieds brings you weekly updates on news from around the WoW community. Have guild news or a Random Act of Uberness to share? Send it to TheClassifieds@wow.com. MMOs aren't MMOs unless you're doing plenty of the MMing part -- and <The Incredibles> of Boulderfist (US-A) are doing an incredible job at an incredible amount of just that. This incredible guild (can you tell we think they're incredible?) is one of those gregarious guilds that organizes annual real-life meetups. With publicity posters (like the portion of last year's poster, above). And hotel welcome packages. And WoW-themed meal menus. And custom-made golden statuette awards (à la Oscars) for guild volunteers. And, and ... and don't forget the custom-designed, WoW-themed beer labels. Yup, these folks from Arkansas have pretty much thought of everything a guild meetup could do, have or celebrate. We'll be talking more to <The Incredibles> next week, starting with a World of Warcrafts look the onslaught of creativity that goes into their event materials. Then on Tuesday, 15 Minutes of Fame will peek farther into the meetups themselves, plus the camaraderie and people behind the events. In the meantime, we have a huge batch of Random Acts of Uberness, community news and guild recruiting this week, so let's get busy and crack open The Classifieds ...
The Classifieds: Against all odds
Welcome to yet another Fox Van Allen edition of The Classifieds, your weekly news roundup from the WoW community. Being a shadow priest, it's difficult to keep a wholly optimistic spin on the week's news, but that's what Fox promised Lisa Poisso he'd do when he covered her shift. Still, needing to inflict Misery somehow, he's sprinkled this week's edition with links to Phil Collins songs -- and not even his Genesis stuff either. If you have guild news or a Random Act of Uberness to share, send to to TheClassifieds@WoW.com. It's not easy playing World of Warcraft on a server where one faction has a massive advantage over the other. Take the Zul'Jin (US) server for example -- Horde outnumbers Alliance by about 3:1. The Alliance winning Wintergrasp on a server as unbalanced as Zul'Jin is a rare occurence -- there just aren't enough Alliance players showing up to give their faction a shot of winning. Recently, however, the Alliance has seen a resurgence of their PvP fortunes -- they're starting to win Wintergrasp against all odds. Why? A huge chunk of the credit goes to one person: Hellsbargin <Guild Display Error>. As it is explained to us: In the last week, Alliance has pretty much had Wintergrasp on lock down. Hellsbargin will sit in Dalaran drawing attention to the fact WG is about to start through normal means, like trade chat and yelling. But he's also gone the extra mile to draw attention. He's spent well over 6k gold in fireworks, flares, and clusters to make a highly visible display outside of Alliance quarters. He shapes an arrow pointing through the doorway with lights set up inside like a landing strip leading to the WG portal. I thought it was amazing how much effort he's put in to just getting people interested in doing the event, and how much a little enthusiasm can do to provide a win and keep it going. More news, uberness, and yes, even more terrible, terrible Phil Collins. All after the break.
The Classifieds: Coming out of the closet edition
The Classifieds is a weekly roundup of news from around the WoW community. Your host for this week is the ever-so-shadowy Fox Van Allen, filling in for a vacationing Lisa Poisso in exchange for an undisclosed sum of pirate treasure. As always, if you have guild news or a Random Act of Uberness to share, send it in to TheClassifieds@WoW.com. If there are 50 ways to leave your lover, then there must be at least 100 different ways to leave a guild. There's the middle-of-an-argument /gquit, the log-on-in-the-middle-of-the-night-so-no-one-sees-you /gquit, the passive-aggressive /gquit, and of course, the I-illegally-sold-my-WoW-account-on-Craigslist-to-buy-a-ten-year-old-dirtbike /gquit. I think I have a new favorite, though: The tauren-trapped-in-a-night-elf's-body /gquit. Milkmenot (Boulderfist [US-H]), formerly Slimbones (Uldaman [US-A]), wrote one of the most creative goodbye notes to his guild that I've seen in a long time: I have a confession I need to make, it's something that has been bothering me for quite some time and I need to get it out there. I've been having these feelings. It started out just around town in Dalaran when I would see this Tauren going by. Our eyes would meet, just briefly, and all these feelings would well up inside. I'd try to follow her, intrigued by her curves and horns, but then she always goes into that Horde-only area and I would get booted out. So I'd hang around the entrance there just hoping to sneak a peek. The rest of the goodbye note -- and so much more -- is available just after the break.
The Classifieds: Beat the heat with the Ironman Instancing Challenge
The Classifieds brings you weekly updates on news from around the WoW community. Have guild news or a Random Act of Uberness to share? Send it to TheClassifieds@wow.com. Looking for a refreshing, silly and utterly engaging way to slip through a sweltering summer of pre-expansion doldrums? We have just the thing: the Ironman Instancing Challenge. Ever heard of naked Deadmines races? It's like that -- on steroids. Here's the best version of this event we've yet seen, from <The Risen> (Thorium Brotherhood [US-H]): Start with your character completely naked in Ragefire Chasm. Using only the gear you pick up during these runs, clear your way through every 5-man instance in WoW. You can Ironman alone or with a group. Eventually, groups become necessary. Any class abilities (like pets) are available at all times. Any mats needed to use class abilities/buffs are also fine. Screenshot every final boss you kill; it's on the honor system. All kills should be accomplished according to the gear rules of Ironman Instancing. You are welcome to farm instances for gear -- but again, you can only use gear picked up during Ironman Instance runs. You cannot instance with anyone not participating in the Ironman contest. The winners are the first five people to successfully clear every instance. <The Risen>'s prizes include a special guild ranking for the winners -- a guild tradition and year-round reminder of the fun. Send us your best screenshots from your own Ironman Instancing Challenges and we'll share them here in The Classifieds. And speaking of, let's crack open The Classifieds ...
The Classifieds: Old school a go-go
The Classifieds brings you weekly updates on news from around the WoW community. Have guild news or a Random Act of Uberness to share? Email TheClassifieds@wow.com. Is it just us, or are players revving up the retro vibe to record RPMs? From retro and classic raiding to world PvP events, players are chasing away the pre-expansion blues by rocking and rolling some classic Southshore-Tarren Mill action. Case in point: a massive mix-up on Anachronos (EU-A) being organized for next weekend by <The Stormwind Crusaders>. "The aim of this event is to enjoy this epicness one more time before Cataclysm flushes Southshore away like Atlantis," write event organizers, "and of course for the generation of players who kinda missed the epic fights in the old days. (Yeah, I had to force some guildies to Google 'Southshore vs. Tarren' because they didn't understand that it's 100% wow cult!)" Organizers are hoping players from both factions will transfer or whip up a new death knight to come relive the epic tug-of-war battles of old on June 11 from 21:00-23:00 server time. Check the official realm forums for more details. As often as we discuss zones and aspects of the game that will be changed in Cataclysm, it hadn't yet occurred to me for some reason that the epic Southshore/Tarren Mill battles of yesteryear will be forever wiped from our slates. If you never had the chance to submerge yourself in the madness back in the day ... Yeah, this is worth a pool of tears to drown your sorrows in. Talk about pure, addictive, adrenaline-fueled fun ... My first character became a Knight-Lieutenant, in fact, off kills made in the fields outside Tarren Mills. My brother-in-law and I would roust each faction from their respective homes every weekday afternoon to kick off the action, tempting them out with the prospect of an easy kill on the two little clothies scuttling along the roads. ("Easy"? Not for a second; we knew every dirty trick in the book.) I heartily endorse more recreations of these tug-of-war epics before Cataclysm alters the killing fields playing field forever. Let's crack open The Classifieds ...
The Classifieds: More raiders than ever pushing through end-game content
The Classifieds brings you weekly updates on news from around the WoW community. Have guild news or a Random Act of Uberness to share? Email TheClassifieds@wow.com. Has the stacking buff in Icecrown Citadel done its job opening up end-game raiding to more players than ever? Signs point to yes. An analysis posted at LoreHound shows that the progressive ICC buff (Hellscream's Warsong and Strength of Wrynn), which is currently pumping 20% more power into raiders' total health, healing done, damage absorption and damage dealt, is also puffing up the number of guilds chugging through what's currently the toughest raid instance in the game. The report is chock full of progression statistics, shining a light on content accessibility. Its conclusion: Raiding in Wrath, including features such as progressively stacking buffs and encounters with interchangeable difficulties, has ripened to a mature model that is friendly to both hardcore and casual raiders. Read the details at LoreHound (thanks for the tip, Rhabella!). Let's crack open The Classifieds ...
The Classifieds: Retro and classic raid listings
The Classifieds brings you weekly updates on news from around the WoW community. Have guild news or a Random Act of Uberness to share? Email TheClassifieds@wow.com. Last week, we sent out a call for raid listings of groups that do retro raiding (with raiders of instance-appropriate level and above) or classic raiding (adhering to strict level and gear caps appropriate to the instance content). While we only received a few listings, these represent groups that are actively welcoming new retro and classic raiders. Retro/classic groups, we know you're out there -- send us your details so we can list you! In this pre-expansion lull, there's never been a better time to catch up with all the old raid content you've never before seen, from Molten Core to Sunwell Plateau. Check out our classic/retro listings after the break, plus this week's shout-outs for Random Acts of Uberness, guild recruiting and more. Let's crack open The Classifieds ...
The Classifieds: One million gold in his pocket
The Classifieds brings you weekly updates on news from around the WoW community. Have guild news or a Random Act of Uberness to share? Email TheClassifieds@wow.com. The road to level 85 will be paved with gold for one lucky guild being financed by a member who's earned 1 million gold in the past six months. Reader Villainus managed to crank his bank account up to 1 million gold last week. His ultimate goal? Sharing the wealth. "I'm not selling anything, not advertising on my site ... just did it for the challenge," he wrote to WoW.com. "My plans so far are to help my guild power level to 85 for Cataclysm with basically unlimited funds. :)" Villainus' entire savings project took six months and began with 1,000 gold, a rudimentary understanding of the Auction House, no addons and no stock of items. On the blog where he documented his work in progress, he noted these facts along the way: Averaged 46,080g per week in profit 1500+ active auctions at any one time Largest single day gain: 51,781g Largest single day loss: 18,254g Single Iceblade Arrow sales: 16,374g Rare and epic spellthread profit: 81,313g Gold earned from GDKPs: 28,312g Gold spent at GDKPs: 71,210g Vendor pets profit: 19,448g Largest profit from a single item: Ring of Rotting Sinew 9,512g Largest % profit from item: Plans : Titanium Razorplate 3,308%, 80g to 2,646g Most expensive item purchased: Deathbringer's Will 17,000g Most expensive item sold: Mechano-hog 15,210g Gold lost to AH 5% fee: 64,712g
The Classifieds: The customer service is not a lie
The Classifieds brings you weekly updates on news from around the WoW community. Have guild news or a Random Act of Uberness to share? Email TheClassifieds@wow.com. Nozart of EU Aggramar-H has been enjoying his realm's delicious customer service -- yes, enjoying it! -- after recently asking for GM assistance from a character named Glados, named after the end boss of the game Portal. "I got level 10 and went in WSG and lost almost instantly," he reports. "A player had capped the flag three times in a go and won in exactly 4 minutes; according to other players, this had happened previously through out the day. So naturally I made a ticket to report this, and this is the GM's response." See the screenshot above to find out the sweet resolution – we'd say the customer service is not a lie. More from around the WoW community after the break.
The Classifieds: Lord Valthalak lives again
The Classifieds brings you weekly updates on news from around the WoW community. Have guild news or a Random Act of Uberness to share? Email TheClassifieds@wow.com. We meet again: The Spirit of Lord Valthalak, a nasty-tough boss summoned in Upper Blackrock Spire as the last step of vanilla WoW's Dungeon Set 2 quest line, has been popping up in the most unlikely of locations on multiple realms over the past few days. He doesn't seem to be around on any of the realms I play on. Reader Garrett sent in this screenshot as his contribution to the puzzle. A realm-specific bug, a new bug with the amulet that the few players who have one are discovering -- or something more cataclysmic? Stealth amulet-poppers, reveal yourselves ... Let's crack open The Classifieds.
The Classifieds: This guy's hogging all your luck
The Classifieds brings you weekly updates on news from around the WoW community. Have guild news or a Random Act of Uberness to share? Email TheClassifieds@wow.com. The RNG does not hate you. It's just been spending all of its quality time this week snuggling up to Taedran of US Silvermoon-A. "I've been having a strange week," Taedran confesses. "Physically, IRL, I've been really sick and feeling awful, but in WoW ... It's as if God is smiling upon me, because there are a few items I have been farming for every chance I get, items that I have been farming for, for more than a year. These items are: Swift Razzashi Raptor from Zul'gurub, Orb of the Sin'dorei from heroic Magister's Terrace, Shard of the Fallen Star from AQ40 and quite a few others! This week has fulfilled all my dropping wants! And to top that all off, my guild just beat Lich King, and so we are all Kingslayers now. And guess what Lich King dropped? The only item I want off of him -- the healing mace. And I won it!" This is the point at which we should probably all gather 'round and clap Taedran on the back, congratulating and wishing him well ... It's just that I think I have something in my eye, and I really don't have a free hand, anyway. I have to keep pounding this need button over here -- unless I make the right sequence of rolls (I'm going for 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42; I read 'em on this weird metal hatch out in the middle of Sholazar Basin), something bad is going to happen ... Something that might keep me from prying my fair share of loot out of the grip of that filthy rotten fleabag gloriously lucky bloke, Taedran ... More news from around the WoW community, plus recruitment and Random Acts of Uberness, after the break.
The Classifieds: The dwarf your man could smell like
The Classifieds brings you weekly updates on news from around the WoW community. Have guild news or a Random Act of Uberness to share? Email TheClassifieds@wow.com. Isaiah Mustafa's got nothing on Pigironpete from <ZeGuild> (US Sentinels-A), especially when it comes to guild recruiting ... in the shower? "It's been a running gag for weeks to imitate the new line of Old Spice commercials over Vent," writes Pigironpete. "Tim Buckley, artist of the Ctrl+Alt+Del webcomic, made up a little .gif for the guild's amusement while he was avoiding doing his taxes." Watch the whole animation for the full effect (although in all honesty, I think I'll probably just click that first link up there one last time ...). Join us after the break for more news from around the WoW community, plus recruiting, looking for guilds, Random Acts of Uberness and more.
The Classifieds: The superheroes of ICC
The Classifieds brings you weekly updates on news from around the WoW community. Have guild news or a Random Act of Uberness to share? Email TheClassifieds@wow.com. Sure, tough guy ... You're progressing just fine through Icecrown Citadel -- but do you look like a superhero in the process? The forum design for <Skeleton Crew> (US Uldum-H) makes reading about kills almost as fun as being there. Tipster Bella gives credit for the concept to <Agony> on US Ysera from the Sunwell era. Color us impressed! (Oh, and it appears that <Skeleton Crew> is recruiting right now, too. If you're looking for a mature group with a sense of style that's pushing well into heroic ICC, follow the link above and check them out.) This week's uber collection of Random Acts of Uberness, plus guilds looking for members and members looking for guilds, and more from the WoW community, after the break.
