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The Perfect Ten: Worst expansion names of all time
When SOE announced that EverQuest's 19th expansion would be titled Rain of Fear, I instantly found myself tripping over the name. I shouldn't have -- it's a few simple words that are first round picks for spelling contests -- but it defied the traditional naming conventions for MMO expansions. Many people I talked to kept wanting to write "reign" instead because "rain" seemed like a deliberate misspelling by some intern in Smedley's empire. Homophones aside, Rain of Fear is hardly the worst expansion title I've ever seen. The industry has had its share of bad names, from the confusing to the downright unpronounceable. Sure, we get used to these titles, and perhaps it's nit-picky to lug them out at such a late point in many of their lifespans, but petty is my middle name. My first name is Tom. And these are 10 poorly named expansions. Deal with it.
Justin Olivetti10.11.2012The Perfect Ten: Most interesting retired Massively columns
One of the perks of working at Massively is that you get to see everything "behind the scenes," as it were. There's not as much drama as you may think, but there's an awful lot of weirdness, detailed conversations about inconsequential whimsy, and Jef's cat pictures. It's also given me access to lists of all of the site's history, including a list of all of our retired columns. Not every column goes on indefinitely, and some die only to be resurrected at a later date. But one day I got curious about all of them -- especially the ones before my time here on the site -- and that curiosity led to my creating a list of the most interesting ones. So today, let's examine 10 columns you won't see on Massively these days (for better or worse), ones that were certainly captivating during their run.
Justin Olivetti09.27.2012The Perfect Ten: Ways MMOs explain infinite resurrection
Why? Why do we die in MMOs and receive an infinite number of resurrections? Are we in a type of hell defined by endless combat and suffering, doomed to never escape the cycle? Is this a cruel experiment being performed by supreme alien beings from afar? Does that make us the living undead, immortal Highlanders, or something even more significant? If you're looking at me with that look you have in your eye right now, I'd like to remind you that asking these questions is more in line with the core of RPGs than just mashing the 1-2-3 buttons. The rules that make up and dictate our virtual lives should have both meaning and sense, yet so many of these games expect us to just blithely accept that we can come back from the dead over and over without nary an explanation. Well, I like explanations. Even if it's just polite nonsense, a thought-out reason as to why our characters are death-proof tells me that the devs treat their game with a higher degree of integrity than others. So here are 10 MMOs in which the endless cycle of death and resurrection gets at least a backhanded explanation instead of "shut up, just accept it."
Justin Olivetti09.13.2012The Perfect Ten: Ways Guild Wars 2 beats the pants off of Guild Wars
As a gamer who went through all of the original Guild Wars campaigns and spent the better part of a year or so doing it, I reluctantly came to the conclusion that while it was a fine game and pretty to behold, it wasn't for me. I felt it was too grindy and at times way too difficult, and I couldn't connect with it the way I did with other MMOs. That's why I'm celebrating Guild Wars 2's launch: This is the game I wanted from ArenaNet from the get-go. It most certainly carries the torch of the franchise, particularly in its lush world-building and incredible vistas, but it does the most important thing a sequel should do: preserve the good, add bold new ideas, and drop the dead weight. At risk of offending those who hold the original Guild Wars as a sacred cow (blasphemooey?), I present the top 10 ways Guild Wars 2 most definitely beats the pants off of its predecessor.
Justin Olivetti08.30.2012The Perfect Ten: Stock fantasy enemies from lamest to coolest
One theory of MMOs is that they represent several parallel universes, each with similarities and differences. This may explain why so many of them claim to be boldly original and yet carry the same monster DNA that exists everywhere else. Today we're going to carefully unpack our ancient collector's edition of stock fantasy enemies. Blow off the dust and smell that nostaglia, mhmm. Sure, they've seen better days, but they're still good, right? Still solid. Still capable of entertaining us, even if we've slaughtered their kin a thousand times over. Let me show you my collection of 10 stock fantasy enemies that we encounter all the time in MMOs. Just for fun, I'm going to order them from lamest to coolest. I would be number 11, by the way.
Justin Olivetti08.16.2012The Perfect Ten: Goosebump trailers
I love trailers. Man, I love trailers. I'm almost embarrassed to admit it, but sometimes I'll spend a shameful hour just flipping through all of my favorite movie and game trailers. When the editing is tight and the music spot-on, my spine becomes infused with epicness and I feel a heady buzz that comes from seeing so much awesome crammed into such a short clip. Just as in the movie industry, MMO studios are hit or miss with their trailers. There have been so many generic, forgettable videos that I pad the lining of my imaginary dog's crate with them. They're very absorbent and release the fresh scent of pine. But once in a while, there comes along a trailer that acts like the Dark Crystal, sucking my soul right into it before shaking it around and then releasing it. Trailers like that give me goosebumps, and here are 10 of them, all in a row.
Justin Olivetti08.02.2012The Perfect Ten: Amazing amateur MMO cosplay
I find the whole cosplay subculture at conventions to be both foreign and fascinating. On one hand, I deeply admire the dedication and time it takes to put together a complex outfit and then spend all day wearing this custom-made sweatsuit. On the other hand, it does tend to bring out some folks' narcissism and unnecessary cleavage. While many facets of geek and video game culture are adequately represented by those crazy cosplayers, I don't see as much when it comes to MMORPGs. Was it truly underrepresented, I wondered, or have I just never looked? Consider the following 10 costumes the result of an afternoon or two combing through so much amateur cosplay that it vastly exceeded the recommended amount as set by the American Medical Association. I'm glad to make the sacrifice for you, and besides, you just know those doctors are the ones in these outfits, anyway. (Please note that if you're looking for more skin than skill, this will not be the list for you!)
Justin Olivetti07.05.2012The Perfect Ten: MMO Jukebox
Earlier this year, I got to expose my musically nerdy side to you all in a one-two shot of MMO theme song countdowns. The truth is that I'm just a huge sucker for video game music, and as such, I've collected a wide range of MMO scores to bolster my MP3 player. I know that we players tend to be pretty vocal about turning off MMO music at some point, usually due to extreme repetition. Unfortunately, that seems to leave a bad association with this music in our minds, and I don't feel that reputation is deserved. MMO scores can be just as good -- if not better -- than their counterparts in film or other video games. So I've decided that every so often I'm going to devote a full Perfect Ten to sharing my favorite MMO music. I'm always open to suggestions, of course, so if you know of a track that you feel really should be in the next list, send me an email or leave it in the comments!
Justin Olivetti06.21.2012The Perfect Ten: Worst MMO launches of all time
First things first: Whatever MMO release is currently ticking you off is the worst launch of all time. It would be folly of me to try to convince you otherwise. You've been roundly slapped in the face and you don't want me to convince you that the pain was in vain. I understand. Getting past that, however, would it be possible to examine the subsequent 10 worst launches in the MMO industry? If your trauma isn't too great, that is. It would be? Terrific! What constitutes a horrible game launch is varied, although each and every one of the following games made an unfortunate blunder that caused the title to stumble instead of sprint out of the gate. It's not the end of the story, of course, but it does make for a good tale to tell to youngsters camping in the open woods or a particularly seedy LAN center.
Justin Olivetti05.31.2012The Perfect Ten: The truth about lockboxes
Call them lockboxes, lootboxes, super packs, gift packs, treasure boxes, mystic chests, or Chupacabra's lunchpails, but these virtual boxes of mystery, fame, and fortune are all the rage in MMOs these days. Few studios have resisted the siren's call of such easy money, much to the dismay of many-a-gamer. The idea is that a game will dish out to players free locked treasure boxes that require purchased keys to open. The allure of the box's mystery prize is often too strong to resist, especially when there's the possibility of a huge reward inside. The result too often is strong buyer's remorse and studio glee. There's been a lot of conversation around lockboxes here on Massively, so I wanted to dedicate this week's Perfect Ten to dissecting the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth of these items for you.
Justin Olivetti05.17.2012The Perfect Ten: Guild Wars 2 gravestone epitaphs
The dead tell the best stories, they say. Outside of Divinity's Reach in Guild Wars 2 is a graveyard. It's the type of place that you run through quickly on your way to more lively settings, unless a zombie attack emerges. It was the type of place that I was running through quickly during the previous beta weekend when I realized that the gravestones could be examined -- and each and every one of them had an interesting epitaph to read. Some crazy ArenaNet writer sat down one afternoon and wrote out dozens and dozens of gravestone inscriptions on the off-chance that any of us would slow down enough to read them. It paid off in my case. This may be one of the most trivial Perfect Tens I've ever done, so forgive me with being absolutely fascinated by the epitaphs that came up during my explorations. With an absolute economy of words, each gravestone tells a complete story. Some are funny, some are dark, some play into the lore, and some actually managed to be quite moving. Here are my 10 most favorite that I found. Maybe they'll haunt you as they do me.
Justin Olivetti05.03.2012The Perfect Ten: Free-to-play holdouts
In the increasingly diminishing field of subscription-only MMOs, two distinct camps have formed. There is the Old Guard that has its established playerbase and is simply not interested in jumping on board the F2P train, and then there are the New Kids on the Block (which would make an excellent band name, by the way), who argue that their premium features and AAA content warrant a subscription in the F2P age. A few years ago, doing a list of the final few F2P holdouts would have been a ridiculous proposition, but now it's actually difficult to get to 10 of these. Each company has a different reason that it hasn't given these games more flexible payment options (FPO should replace F2P; pass it on!), and while some have addressed this publicly, others say nothing and leave us to speculate on it. For today's Perfect Ten, we're going to look at the 10 biggest current F2P holdouts in the industry and muse about what's going on behind the scenes. Will this list be impossible to do in a few years or will subscription-only titles come back in a big way? Hey, I don't predict things; I just make lists.
Justin Olivetti04.19.2012The Perfect Ten: MMO tributes to real-life people
When a beloved friend, family member, hero, or role model dies, we feel the pain of that loss and grieve in many different ways. Part of that grieving and healing process is often entails those left behind constructing some sort of tribute to the dearly departed. Sometimes this comes in the form of a shrine of flowers, sometimes it's the establishment of a charity, and sometimes it's creating an in-game memorial that thousands if not millions of people will see over the course of years. So while death and illness are depressing topics to dwell upon, I find the many MMO tributes that studios and even gamers have erected to be inspiring and a celebration of individual players' lives. With the help of my fellow Massively staffers, I researched 10 wonderful in-game tributes that serve to honor the lives of fellow gamers.
Justin Olivetti04.05.2012The Perfect Ten: Types of loot that get me excited
Loot's not something that I see discussed much these days among MMO players. It's probably because loot's been around since the beginning of online time and is such a staple that we'd only really notice it if it went away completely or if the object in question were a major game-changer for us. Random loot from mobs is a reward mechanic that is bordering on archaic, having been supplanted by dependable quest rewards and barter vendors that give us the gear we so desire. Of course, now we've come around the weird circle to the point that dropped lockboxes hold interesting loot, but we've got to pay for the privilege of seeing what's inside. But let's not go there today! Instead, I'm going to share with you the 10 general types of loot that still get me excited while playing. They will shock, amaze, and radically reshape your life, as long as you've had a recent brain wipe and are awaiting brand-new neural instructions.
Justin Olivetti03.22.2012The Perfect Ten: Free-to-play shopping strategies
"Nothing is ever truly free," my grizzled Uncle Trigger once told me. "So you got to pay for that there air! Pony up, boy!" While Uncle Trigger was overlooking a few aspects of this philosophy, the sentiment is an important one to grasp, especially when it comes to the growing wave of free-to-play MMOs. Even though the first word is "free," it should be followed up with several paragraphs of tiny lawyer disclaimers that basically say, "Nevertheless, the studio is going to look for other ways to tempt you out of your hard-earned cash." F2P is often funded by microtransactions, which offer players some variety in how they customize their game experience at the expense of a subscription's simplicity. It's often not better or worse; it's just different. Because nothing is ever truly free, and because F2P is loaded with more shopping options than a Walmart supercenter, being a savvy customer is more vital than ever. Anyone who's waded into a F2P store probably has experienced buyer's regret due to a hasty or uninformed purchase, not to mention those who end up going broke because of poor impulse control. So today I'm going to get downright practical and offer up 10 strategies that will safeguard and strengthen your F2P shopping trips (also, random plug for Beau's Free For All column in the hopes that he doesn't get mad I'm treading on his territory here!).
Justin Olivetti03.08.2012Wings Over Atreia: Top 10 of '11
Where in the Seraphim Lords did the year go? Daevas aren't the only ones who fly; time certainly has one powerful set of wings (though I haven't quite determined whether they are light or dark)! It's a bit hard for me to believe that a full year has come and gone. Yet even as I doubt, a cursory glance back over the past 12 months shows me I didn't Rip Van Winkle the time away. In fact, much has transpired in Aion since 2011 rolled in. Between pining away for things to come and dreaming of things that may never be, chronicling the life and social scene of Atreia, offering guides and hints, and reporting on (sometimes surprise) announcements, Wings Over Atreia has covered a variety of topics over the past year. While each column is but one glimpse, together they show the evolution of our game. Traipse past the break and down memory lane with me as we reminisce about Aion in the time-honored Massively tradition of top-10 lists.
MJ Guthrie01.02.2012The best Steve Jobs Macworld Expo moments
Apple CEO and tech legend Steve Jobs doesn't present keynotes at Macworld Expo anymore, though he does occasionally rile crowds at WWDC and City Council meetings. Ranker, a website that publishes ranked lists of just about everything, has compiled a list of the top 10 Steve Jobs Macworld Expo moments. Each item on the list includes an accompanying video showing Steve at his best. Number one on the Ranker list is the 2007 Macworld Expo moment when Jobs introduced the iPhone to the world. That is my personal favorite -- I was in the audience and remember having the distinct feeling that the world was about to change. It was such a charged emotional moment that I ended up buying a Nitrozac painting of it that is on the wall in my office and at the top of this post. For those of you who have been Apple fans for a long, long time, what's your favorite Steve Jobs Macworld Expo moment? Leave a comment below.
Steve Sande06.09.201110 apps you should install FIRST on your iPhone
You've taken the plunge and bought your first iPhone. You've activated your service with your local wireless carrier, connected and synced it with your main computer for the first time, and brought over as much music, photos, and videos as you can squeeze onto it. Maybe you've even played around with Apple's default apps a bit. "Now what?" you may be asking yourself. "I've heard about all the great apps that are available for the iPhone, but where do I start?" That's a very good question, and it's one that gets harder and harder to answer the more apps make their way into Apple's App Store. With hundreds of thousands of apps now available for the iPhone, it may seem overwhelming trying to sift through them all if this is your first few hours with an iPhone. Not to worry, because we've got you covered. We put our heads together and came up with a list of the apps you should install first on your brand-new, factory-fresh iPhone. Keeping in mind that people from all over the world use iPhones and read TUAW, we excluded from consideration any apps that don't have full international functionality. This meant leaving a number of very cool and useful apps out of consideration, but we wanted to make sure this is a list that applies to everyone, not just US or UK readers. We also kept this list pretty simple; if you're familiar with the way iTunes separates music collections into The Basics, Next Steps, and Deep Cuts, you'll see that we very much went for The Basics for this go-around. Click "Read More" to see the full list of recommended apps for first-time iPhone users and our rationale for choosing each one.
Chris Rawson06.04.2011Adobe dominates Kaspersky Lab's top ten PC vulnerabilities list
Being number one is usually an honor, but not when it comes to Kaspersky Lab's top ten PC vulnerabilities list. Unfortunately for the software giant, Adobe took top dishonors for Q1 this year, pulling in five total spots on the list, including the top three. According to the security firm, all of the vulnerabilities appearing on the list allowed cyber-criminals to control computers at the system level. The number one spot was occupied by a vulnerability in Adobe Reader that was reportedly detected on 40 percent of machines running the application, while Flash Player flaws took second and third. Other dishonorees included the Java Virtual Machine, coming in at fourth and fifth place, Apple QuickTime, Winamp, and Microsoft Office. That ain't bad, considering Microsoft ruled the vulnerabilities roost in 2010.
Christopher Trout05.19.2011The Perfect Ten: The secret lives of NPCs
It is fun, I've decided, to overthink things in life. This is especially relevant in MMOs, where we've long since taken absolutely bizarre staples as the accepted status quo. Sure, it's all polite fiction that allows developers to merge necessary game mechanics with a veneer of credibility, but many elements of MMOs simply fall apart when put under the microscope. Case in point, the NPC. Is there a figure in online games that more symbolizes the thin barrier between the server database and user playerbase than the non-player character? NPCs exist to fill the world with warm bodies so that places don't feel empty, yet they also exhibit no more life than a mannequin with a tape recorder strapped to its back. These cardboard cutouts of the MMO scene are either reanimated corpses struggling to remember basic quest-giving instructions, or else they're prisoners of a foul witch who has struck the entire land with a paralyzing spell. So even though it's 2011 and you'd think that NPCs would be showing us more signs of life than swiveling slightly when we approach, I'm happy to jump in and offer my opinion as to the secret life of these figures. What makes them tick? What do they get out of helping -- and prodding -- us into action? Why don't they ever sleep or use the bathroom? Just who are these people we encounter and dismiss every day?
Justin Olivetti03.10.2011