virtualconsolemonday
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New games this week: Super Mario Galaxy edition
See, now this is where it gets punishing. Kiss your poor wallet "Adios!" friends, because we're staring down the barrel of a really tough week. Sure, there's Super Mario Galaxy, and it's an easy choice for the featured pick (much like Baby, nobody puts the plumber in the corner). But he's also got an insane lineup of hot titles on his heels, including Crysis, Assassin's Creed, BlackSite: Area 51, Kane & Lynch: Dead Men and Uncharted: Drake's Fortune. And there's ... more. You can check out the full list after the break, you poor, soon-to-be-broke sap -- it may just be the last time you can do so before your computer gets repossessed.
New on Virtual Console: Super Mario Bros 3, Alien Soldier and Power Golf
It looks like Charles "Mario" Martinet was right on the money: today's Virtual Console selection on the Wii does in fact bring us the legendary Super Mario Bros. 3, along with two other games that suffer from not being Super Mario Bros. 3: Super Mario Bros. 3 (NES, 1-2 players, 500 Wii points): Even though every classic Mario release makes the chance of seeing Super Mario All-Stars even more slim, we're still glad to see this classic example of superb platforming make its Virtual Console debut. Given the comparisons reviewers are drawing between this and Super Mario Galaxy, Nintendo's timing is self-explanatory. Still, those who like their platformers portable might want to instead invest in Super Mario Advance 4: Super Mario Bros. 3 for the Game Boy Advance, which features the upgraded graphics seen in the All-Stars version of the game. Alien Soldier (Sega Genesis, 1 player, 900 Wii points): This Treasure-developed side-scrolling action game is overpriced for a Genesis title, but that probably has to do with its status as an "import" title, having never made it to the States. With 25 levels and 31 bosses, the game definitely emphasizes difficult boss battles over the horizontal foreplay of getting there (which is markedly easier by comparison). Power Golf (TurboGrafx16, 1-3 players, 600 Wii points): Well, it's a golf game, with players teeing off on 18 different holes over three difficulty levels, choosing their clubs carefully to overcome factors like wind strength and the curve of the slope. Actually, it sounds an awful lot like Wii Sports golfing, except that it lacks the fun of swinging the Wii remote, and caps off at 3 players. Still, if that's your thing...
Martinet: SMB3 to hit Virtual Console tomorrow
While we usually have to wait until Monday to find out the week's new Virtual Console releases, the folks over at GoNintendo got a special late night news tip treat from none other than Charles "voice of Mario" Martinet. In a voice mail, Martinet confirms that Super Mario Bros. 3 will be available on the Virtual Console tomorrow, along with the Genesis' Alien Soldier and the TurboGrafx-16's Power Golf (a.k.a. two filler games that no one cares about when placed next to freakin' Mario 3).One of the best-selling and best-received games of all time, the Virtual Console release marks the fourth official version of the game, including 1993's Super Mario All-Stars and 2003's Super Mario Advance 4 (and don't forget the awesomely unofficial hack, Mario Adventure). Will you be buying yet another copy, or just using this excuse to crack out a classic version?
Castlevania II, Samurai Ghost, Magician Lord scare up Wii VC
With Halloween just around the dark and eerily-lit corner, Nintendo has released its latest batch of classic console offerings for the Wii's Virtual Console Monday smorgasbord, including Konami's strange but nonetheless fantastic action RPG hybrid Castlevania II: Simon's Quest, which to this day still has many of us humming its tunes while lathering up in the shower. But for the sake of argument let's assume you are not the sort of person who likes thwarting the undead with a thorny whip -- perhaps you'll enjoy what else this week has to offer: Castlevania II Simon's Quest (NES, 1 player, 500 Wii Points): The gem of this latest batch, Simon's Quest reminds us that not only is it a horrible night to have a curse, but also that that shifty riverman has a thing for Dracula's heart. Samurai Ghost (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, 600 Wii Points): If you can't beat'em, join'em seems to be the motif in Namco's 1992 side scroller, as Samurai Ghost has you floating about as the undead ronin Kagekiyo on a quest for revenge and, we assume, candy. Magician Lord (Neo Geo, 1-2 players, 900 Wii Points): The latest Neo Geo release to crop up on the Virtual Console, Magician Lord is also one of the most fondly remembered among the pricey platform's library, and we're all too eager to rejoin the shape shifiting Elta, the last of the magician lords, on his quest to throw down with the nefarious Gul-Agieze.
New on the Virtual Console: Golden Axe 3, Lunar Pool, Ninja JaJaMaru-kun
We think that after this week, we can all agree that there's no rhyme or reason to Nintendo's Virtual Console selections each week. This Monday, you can play pool on the moon, play the third Golden Axe game, or play a ninja-based title unreleased outside Japan. If there's a theme there, we ain't seeing it. Ninja JaJaMaru-kun (NES, 1-2 players, 600 Wii Points): Never released outside of Japan before now, someone didn't think you were ready for Ninja JaJaMaru-kun. But now, you can experience all the awful music, marshmallow ninjas and (apparent) sperm capturing you can handle. (Side note: We're not sure what the extra 100 points for Japan-only games is going to, but it certainly isn't New Name Creating Guys. Lunar Pool (NES, 1-2 players, 500 Wii Points): OK, we'll buy that mushrooms can embiggen you to twice your regular size. We'll allow that there's a golden triangle out there that has a tendency to break but can also give you superpowers. But pool on the moon? Please, the infeasibility of carting the necessary equipment up there is reason enough to discount it, but, hello? Gravity? We can only go so far with you. Golden Axe III (Sega Genesis, 1-2 players, 800 Wii Points): Though the third Golden Axe wasn't originally released here, you PS2 and PSP owners who bought the Sega Genesis Collection are familiar with the title. For the uninitated: It's Golden Axe. ... Oh, and (for part of the game) you're a panther dude. Enjoy.
Metal Marines, Ninja Gaiden II, Gate of Thunder on Virtual Console
We couldn't think of a way to express this thought eloquently in the headline of this post, so we'll just mention it here: If you were checking out the backs of movies at your local video rental emporium and you saw the names of this week's games in the description, you would rent it. Hands down. "Hmm ... a ninja ... Marines made of metal ... a gate of thunder? Honey, go put Sisterhood of the Traveling Fanny Pack back. Our choice has been made for us." Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos (NES, 1 player, 500 Wii Points): Though you can't buy Game of the Year 2008 Ninja Gaiden II right now, you can at least have the experience of buying a Ninja Gaiden II. And honestly, if you like ninjas flipping out and killing people, why let a thing like the lack of a third dimension get in the way? Metal Marines (Super NES, 1 player, 800 Wii Points): Metal Marines is a real-time strategy game for the Super NES, considered by no one to be the very best platform for playing real-time strategy games. If you're not deterred, you can see a clip for yourself right here. Gate of Thunder (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, 800 Wii Points): So, this is a rip-off. We finally get a TurboGrafx16 CD ROM game and what is it? Well, it's not Sherlock Holmes Consulting Detective, that's for sure. When will the FMV bias end? That said, this clip of this side-scrolling shooter looks pretty insane, so maybe it's not all bad.
Neo Geo games arrive on Virtual Console today
We didn't get much exposure to the Neo Geo in our younger days, perhaps because our career as the world's youngest tax attorney wasn't particularly lucrative (we would too frequently accept baseball cards and Bubble Yum as compensation) and we couldn't afford the $7,000 that each cartridge cost. Also, all the games legally had the world "Fight" or "Fury" or "Punching" in the title, and it was hard to tell them apart. This week, though, the Virtual Console is allowing us to set it all right.For 900 points ($9) a piece, you can purchase Fatal Fury, Art of Fighting or World Heroes. Fatal Fury and Art of Fighting are, as their names suggest, fighting games. But World Heroes on the other hand ... is also a fighting game. Oh, who are we kidding? You already know if you're the sort of person who'll be buying these. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have some taxes to attorney.
Sin and Punishment and Super Mario Bros.: Lost Levels on Virtual Console
Wow, after a couple of weak weeks (we're not sure if that was a pun either) the Virtual Console has come back in a huge way this week with Sin and Punishment and Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels. Though Sin and Punishment has never been formally released in North America, you probably recognize the name as the one that slips through the lips of shooter fans as they say their evening prayers every night. Sin and Punishment (Nintendo 64, 1-2 players, 1,200 Wii Points) -- You're not hallucinating with that price. Not only have you had to wait seven years for it, you're also going to have to pony up a couple of extra bucks. Of course, there is some extra translation here, so you can probably justify it to yourself, especially if you're dying to experience Treasure's classic shooter. Besides, it's really good. We'd rather pay $12 for this than $10 for Yoshi's Story any day of the week. Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels (NES®, 1 player, rated E for Everyone, 600 Wii Points) -- This remake of the Japanese version of Super Mario Bros. 2 is being released on its own for the first time in the U.S., and you're paying an extra buck for the privilege. Of course, you're also getting it with the original NES graphics, so maybe that's worth it to you if you're the curious sort. But please, do yourself a favor and buy Sin and Punishment first.
Tonma, Streets of Rage 3 and Kirby's Avalanche come to Virtual Console
There's not too much to be excited about this week on the Virtual Console, just a spin-off, a sequel and a mish-mash of both. We look forward to the comments when some of you will inevitably tout Kirby's Avalanche as the best Puyo Puyo rip-off, or Streets of Rage 3 as the best in that series or Legend of Hero Tonma as the best ... something. We're looking forward to it. Legend of Hero Tonma (TurboGrafx16, 1-2 players, 600 Wii Points): For the following analogy, mustaches are not withstanding. Imagine, if you will, if Mario was a superhero. Now imagine that his power was "somewhat more impressive fireballs". Now remove him from the Mushroom Kingdom and put him in a fantasy setting. Congratulations, you have just designed Legend of Hero Tonma. Enjoy your royalty checks. Kirby's Avalanche (Super NES, 1-2 players, 800 Wii Points): One thing you've got to give Kirby: He's got his fingers into everything. He's like the P. Diddy of video games. This week, we find K. Biddy in a Puyo Puyo clone called Kirby's Avalanche. Streets of Rage 3 (Sega Genesis, 1-2 players, 800 Wii Points): Sometimes, the rage on the streets is so great that you have to come back for a second helping of beat-em-up action. But when you return for a third time, people start to get upset. They start neighborhood watches, it's bad. If you like this genre, Streets of Rage 3 might be worth your time, but we're spiritually opposed to buying any game that features a character named Skate.
Yoshi Story, Super Thunder Blade, World Class Baseball on Virtual Console
There's a lot of talk about Nintendo abandoning the hardcore gamer, but what about the blogger who writes for the hardcore gamer? They certainly aren't making our lives any easier. Take Exhibit A: This week's Virtual Console releases, for example. A dinosaur, a helicopter and unlicensed baseball. How, exactly, are we supposed to tie those together? You know what? We're too upset even to complain any more. Let's get on with the releases. (Spoiler alert: "Mediocrity Unbound" continues!)Yoshi's Story (Nintendo 64, 1 player, 1,000 Wii Points): This is the spiritual successor to Super Mario World 2, it's got theme music that makes you want to punch a crippled kitten (see above) and is generally not considered to be very good. But if you love platformers and cat violence, feel free to go crazy.Super Thunder Blade (Sega Genesis, 1 player, 800 Wii Points): While we generally take a pass on helicopter action, we're big fans of the late-80s/early-90s tradition of tacking "Super" to the beginning of titles to denote them as sequels. It's especially entertaining on Genesis games, where it doesn't even really make sense. That said, Thunder Blade is no Airwolf.World Class Baseball (TurboGrafx16, 1-2 players, 600 Wii Points): According to the Nintendo press release, World Class Baseball is "the definitive baseball game on the TurboGrafx16," which strikes as a little like being the world's least stupid pony.
Virtual Console Monday: Are you ready for some football (and a hedgehog and a Zelda-clone)?
Football season got started in earnest yesterday, and probably left some of you still hungry for more pigskin. If so: Eat pork rinds, they're delicious. If you want more football though, the Virtual Console has you covered. Imagine: Football in video game form. NES Play Action Football (NES, 1-4 players, 500 Wii Points): The press release from Nintendo touts a "distinct overhead viewpoint" creating an "almost 3-D field." Also, there eight available teams with "multiple running/passing plays" and "a wide selection of defensive schemes."! Madden who? Sonic the Hedgehog 3 (Sega Genesis, 1-2 players, 800 Wii Points): If you think about it, in many ways, Sonic the Hedgehog 3 is exactly like football. You run as fast as your can always trying to collect rings. And Dr. Robotnik kind of looks like a bald Mike Ditka. Also, you're competing against an echidna that you eventually befriend. ... Just like football. Neutopia II (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, 600 Wii Points): Despite what we will occasionally put on mortgage applications, we are not scientists. But we think that Neutopia is scientifically the polar opposite of football. That's so much the case that we feel free from tying it to our theme, and can instead just say that this game wants to be Zelda so bad that it's considering seeing Dr. 90210 for ear extensions.
Adventure Island headlines Virtual Console Monday
It didn't really have much of a choice in the matter, since squeezing three more game titles into the above headline would have resulted in an incomprehensible mess of letters, numbers and colons. Scheduled to arrive in the Wii's Shop Channel at 9AM PST, the following four games benefit from having largely self-explanatory names: Adventure Island (NES, 1 player, 500 Wii Points): Grab a skateboard and venture onto an island... of adventure! Not to be confused with Ad Venture Island, the tropical billboard simulator. Donkey Kong Jr. Math (NES, 1-2 players, 200+300=500 Wii Points): Place your child's education in the hands of a monkey! If I'm holding 17 bananas in my left hand and 23 bananas in my right hand, how big are my hands? Landstalker: The Treasures of King Nole (Genesis, 1 player, 800 Wii Points): Don the pointy ears of an elvish treasure hunter (somehow named "Nigel") and seek out the king's shiny goods. Bonk 3: Bonk's Big Adventure (TurboGrafx16, 1-2 players, 600 Wii Points): After two medium-sized adventures, Bonk embarks on his third and largest quest. Size clearly matters this time, since Nintendo's press release reminds us that "you can change your size to bonk your way through" all sorts of situations.
Super C, Breath of Fire II, Ghouls'n Ghosts now on Wii VC
A trio of sequels lands on Wii Virtual Console today: -Super C (NES, 1-2 players, 500 Wii Points): "C" stands for Contra in this sequel to, um, Contra. Don't forget, Konami swtiched up the Code -- it's now: right, left, down, up, A, B (10 extra lives, not 30).-Breath of Fire II (SNES, 1 player, 800 Wii Points): Arguably the high point in Capcom's JRPG series, this sequel is a respected 16-bit era adventure about an orphan dude and his dog-faced pal. Trust us, it's a decent storyline.-Ghouls'n Ghosts (Genesis, 1 player, 800 Wii Points): The sequel to the most irritatingly difficult side-scroller ever (EVAR!). Capcom toned down the difficulty, but not by much... [Via press release]
Super Metroid, Shinobi III, Neutopia hit Virtual Console
The original headline was something along the lines of "Samus and Shinobi tour Neutopia on Virtual Console" but honestly, the less time spent thinking up trite headlines the better. Today's incredible Virtual Console update has steamrolled our Monday productivity into a lackadaisical mush of "meh." Super Metroid (SNES, 1 player, 800 Wii points): Considered by many to be one of the greatest games of all time (evar), Super Metroid hardly requires a descriptive paragraph such as this one. Needless to say then, that it features Samus doing what she does best: murdering metroids, blasting evil brains and reminding us why we need to stay alive until August 27th. Shinobi III: Return of the Ninja Master (Genesis, 1 player, 800 Wii points): The third entry in Sega's ninja kill-em-up series and arguably the best. As far as side-scrolling slashers go, the Shinobi one is your only hope... for gaming fun! Neutopia (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, 600 Wii points): Neutopia is often labeled as a Legend of Zelda clone. Somehow, we don't think it minds. Look for these games in the Wii shop after 9AM PST.
Metroid is Shining in the Darkness of the Cratermaze on Virtual Console
The "Month of Metroid" continues with the Virtual Console release of Metroid, one of the real classics of the NES. It's joined by two other titles with ... mixed results. –Metroid (NES, 1 player, 500 Wii Points): You should absolutely download and play Metroid, but please, once you've completed it, don't give away the secret twist ending. Why not let your friends be shocked when they discover that their manly lead man is not so much a man -- as a lady? –Shining in the Darkness (Sega Genesis, 1 player, 800 Wii Points): This is the beginning of the Shining series, although it makes some significant departures from it. The series it would birth is probably enough to make it historically important, though not necessarily worthy of your cash. If you're a fan of dungeon RPGs though, go nuts. –Cratermaze (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, 600 Wii Points): When you read that what you're about to play is "a comical action game set in a parallel world," you know you're in for something special. But when you find out that also, the game was originally called Booby Kids in Japan, you should strap in for the ride of your life.
Star Soldier, Dynamite Headdy, and Drop Off dropped onto Virtual Console
Today's Virtual Console games should be hitting the service right about now, offering an option of shmup, action, or Breakout clone. We aren't going to tell you what to buy (if anything), but we would like to note that Dynamite Headdy: a) has a longer Wikipedia entry; b): was developed by Treasure; and c) has evil puppets. That said, here's your options this week: Star Soldier (NES, 1 player, 500 Wii Points): What's a "Star" soldier? Frankly, we're offended you'd even ask. But you should know that classic shmup Star Soldier takes its rightful place on the Virtual Console next to other series entrants like Super Star Soldier, Blazing Lazers, and Soldier Blade. There, now you know. Dynamite Headdy (Sega Genesis, 1 player, 800 Wii Points): Do battle as Headdy in Treasure's Genesis classic, fighting your way through scenes set against a theatrical backdrop. Power up your head (we like the Super Head best) and destroy evil puppets (what else?). Drop Off (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, 600 Wii Points): Think Breakout, except the lawyers sternly requested that the words "break" and "out" appear nowhere in the name. Publisher Hudson Soft's no dummy though, so they did Breakout one better ... introducing Drop Off! Why break things out when you can drop things off? Seriously, why?
Shining Force, Kirby's Dream Course, Devil's Crush come to Virtual Console
Shining Force may seem like the obvious top choice this week, but don't be so quick to judge. If you're the sort of person who likes to see classic games perverted by marshmallow men or the devil, your very particular itch is about to get doubly scratched. Shining Force (Sega Genesis, 1 player, 800 Wii Points): As soon as we put this post up, the comments will fill with people sharing their love for this tactical RPG, so there's really no need for us to say that Shining Force is totally awesome. That being said, it's totally awesome. Kirby's Dream Course (Super NES, 1-2 players, 800 Wii Points): Here's a note for all you budding psych majors. If your patient's dream consists of being in some nightmarish form of golf where all the holes are monsters and they're the ball, they have serious problems. Devil's Crush (TurboGrafx16, 1-2 players, 600 Wii Points): Statistically speaking though, the patient dreaming of being a golf ball is probably better off than the one who thinks that he's forced to play a pinball game that's controlled by Satan.
Paper Mario, Balloon Fight and ... other appear on Virtual Console
Hey, can you do us a huge favor? Just try hiding your disappointment when you get to the end of this week's Virtual Console releases. We've had like a million readers come through this post, and we think the way their faces drop when they see third entry is starting to hurt her self-confidence. She can't help who she came in with, try to remember that. Paper Mario (Nintendo 64, 1 player, 1,000 Wii Points): A spiritual successor to Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars, this game is, frankly, fantastic. It combines some really solid RPG mechanics with visual panache. Consider it required downloading if you haven't been through it. Balloon Fight (NES, 1-2 players, 500 Wii Points): Though it may not be as glitzy as Paper Mario, Balloon Fight is still undeniably a classic. The only question is if you'll be willing to part with five bucks for a game that was not only playable in Animal Crossing, but was also, at one point, stored on playing cards. Silent Debuggers (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, 600 Wii Points): Hey, we warned you, please be nice, this has been a tough day. ... Oh, you're laughing now. That's great. Listen, maybe you're just rushing to judgment. We've embedded a gameplay video after the break, maybe you'll watch it and see that you were wrong all along. She's a totally radical first-person shooter, you'll see!
Mach Rider, Yoshi and Air "Zonk" appear on Virtual Console
In a bitterly tough release week like this one, we hoped to be able to count on the Virtual Console for some classics. However, it looks like we'll be settling for "decent." We're sorry, VC, we don't mean to put so much pressure on you, we know it's not your fault. Mach Rider (NES, 1 player, 500 Wii Points): If you don't remember this one, think of it as a combination of Road Blasters and Hang-On, with a color palette that appears to have been selected at random, possibly with the use of darts. Yoshi (NES, 1-2 players, 500 Wii Points): It's a shame that Yoshi doesn't have a lot to do in his own eponymous game. Most of the time, he sits on the sidelines, watching a fat Italian guy switching plates of mushrooms and egg shells. While that's admittedly a pretty interesting way to spend an afternoon, it still feels like kind of a ripoff. Air "Zonk" (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, 600 Wii Points): If Bonk was a complete tool and had a lightning bolt on his forehead, he would be Zonk. If Bonk's Adventure was a pretty decent shoot 'em up, it would be Air "Zonk." Side bonus, Air "Zonk" offers one of the rare opportunities to be part of something called "Team Cool," which seems to be about the best thing you can do. If you're still on the fence, know that Nintendo says that "Air 'Zonk' is filled with humor, made evident by the wacky theme song that plays when you post a huge score or when your game is over." Sold!
Super Mario Bros. 2, Ecco 2 and Dragon Spirit run/swim/fly onto Virtual Console
In a week that is admittedly pretty light on game releases, we're willing to pretty much take anything we can get. Imagine our pleasure then to find some real quality on the Virtual Console this week. Unfortunately, as you soon see, the weapondry leaves something to be desired. Super Mario Bros. 2 (NES, 1 player, 500 Wii Points): Somewhere, Doki Doki Panic is having a pull off his half-empty fifth of Wild Turkey, hopeful that this may be the last time he has to be slapped in the face by the release of Super Mario Bros. 2 and reminded of what could have been. Ecco: The Tides of Time (Sega Genesis, 1 player, 800 Wii Points): This Ecco the Dolphin sequel is lucky that it's slipping in with SMB 2, because the only item that could make sound waves look like a good weapon are throwable onions. Dragon Spirit (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, 600 Wii Points): Completely ruining the whole "lame weapons" motif is Dragon Spirit, a vertical-scrolling shooter where your weapon is, well, a dragon. Unfortunately, having a dragon as your weapon makes vegetables and sound waves look like ... well, sound waves and vegetables.
