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WRUP: A public service announcement for the Saints Rowless edition
If you have somehow still not found the opportunity to play Saint's Row the Third up until now, you now literally have no excuse. The game is playable for free this weekend on Steam, and you can also purchase the game at an extremely steep discount. But this shouldn't be necessary, because everyone should already own a copy of this game. I realize this may be seen as overenthusiastic praise, but please believe me when I say that I consider my own lack of interest in the title at launch a tremendous mistake on my part. If you think "it's just a sandbox Grand Theft Auto clone" and write it off, you are depriving yourself of something truly wonderful. Download and install it, you have nothing to lose. So we now know what you're playing for the weekend, but what are we playing? Check that out in WRUP just past the cut. And then let us know what else you'll be up to in the comments.
WRUP: Things that are actually written by us edition
I'm not calling anyone a liar, but there's a pretty good way to tell if something is being written by the Massively staff. If an article shows up on the front page, yeah, one of us wrote that. If the article is supposedly a rough draft that got posted to a message board, well, odds are low. Especially if that draft is a barely disguised rant. We have a column for rants, it's called The Soapbox, and those aren't disguised in the slightest. Educational! This feature sometimes serves as a thinly disguised rant in the intro, but mostly it's just good old-fashioned WRUP. Like mom used to make, if mom used to serve up rundowns of what the Massively staff will be doing over the weekend. Even if your mother just served you normal stuff, though, feel free to check out our plans past the break and let us know what you'll be up to in the comments.
WRUP: Visiting the Department of Inevitable Arguments edition
The Department of Inevitable Arguments is there when life happens, you know it's going to happen, and more than anything you just want it to get on with the happening so you can go to lunch. Filing at the department saves time and reduces stress for all participants. Do you know you'll disagree with your friends about a movie or game? Did you eat the last doughnut like a jerk when someone else wanted that doughnut? Put in for the argument in advance and avoid the hassle of having an argument crop up in the middle of an otherwise uneventful evening of amateur machete fights. All of our writers have already filed their gaming choices for your potential objection, but if you want to be sure about whether or not you object to what they play, just check out this week's WRUP. It tells you exactly what the staff is playing this week so you can argue about it in the comments. Or you can let us know what you'll be playing in the comments, same difference.
WRUP: Someone no longer likes us on Facebook edition
It finally happened. Like fools, we ignored the dire warnings of what would happen if we kept posting stuff about games you don't like or articles you didn't agree with. The worst has finally come to pass -- someone no longer likes our Facebook page. We've been in shock here at the office. I've been hitting the rum pretty hard even by my standards, Jef is sitting in an empty bathtub sobbing, and Bree has been playing "Unbreak my Heart" on loop for about seven hours. We'd plead for that reader to come back, but he'll never see it. He no longer likes us. It's really the worst insult you could deliver. Despite the fact that this traumatic event has left us as broken shells, we somehow managed to pull ourselves together long enough to put together an installment of WRUP. Click on past the break to see what we're up to for the next couple of days other than staring at the number of likes on Facebook, and let us know what you'll be up to in the comments.
Get Black Ops 2 for $40, Trials Evolution for $15 on Steam this weekend
Steam's deals for this weekend are action-packed, as Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 is 33 percent off ($40.19), while the Deluxe Edition also on sale for $53.59 until May 13. Early birds can play the game for free until 1pm Pacific on Sunday. Trials Evolution is also part of the weekend sale, as the game's Gold Edition is 25 percent off ($14.99) until May 13. The special edition of the game also includes the single-player tracks and skill games from Trials HD.
WRUP: Next week on Massively edition
Next week on Massively, tensions run high as Bree races to prevent Justin from assembling the shards necessary to release The Matrix Online from its shutdown. Meanwhile, Eliot, Matt, and Lis continue their investigation into Allods Online by concluding that it is in fact a game. Shawn investigates the fact that every game in the world is now free-to-play and concludes it's the fault of space aliens from another dimension who are also ghosts. Terry O'Quinn guest stars. We hope you enjoyed this week of Massively, and now it's time for WRUP because no one read the end credits before. Instead of telling you who did what, we've opted to just let you know what we'll be playing over the weekend. You can let us know what you'll be up to in the comments and tune in again next week for the exciting episode that we just explained to you, thereby obviating any need for you to sit down and watch it.
WRUP: A glance at Paragon City edition
It's a lot quieter in City of Heroes these days without all the heroes around. A lot more boring. But it's all right, after a fashion. Bringing over the old Praetorian Police seemed like an iffy idea, but it's turned out to work well, and ultimately the two worlds have learned to work together. Sometimes there's a bit too much zeal involved, but old habits die hard, and everyone's keeping an eye open. As for the heroes, no one knows quite where they went. Some people are guessing that they ascended to some deific plane of existence; others figured that they just left when they weren't needed. The favored theory is that they're needed elsewhere, that after the Praetorian invasion they found someplace in greater need of heroes. There's no memorial in the city, but that's because everyone still remembers. Not every random WRUP opening needs to be funny. Don't worry, we saved some jokes for our weekend plans just past the break. Let us know what you'll be up to in the comments.
WRUP: A spectacular week edition
Certain moments force you to re-evaluate certain life choices. Monday evening was one of those nights for me. Specifically, it forced me to re-evaluate the choice to ever eat anything other than saltines, as I was suffering from the most debilitating stomach virus I have ever experienced. You don't want to know the details; I will say that it was about 24 hours before I ate anything approaching food again, and that was a handful of crackers. Given the pattern of the past couple weeks, I fully expect for everything I love to burst into flame over the course of the next several days. Right now, it's time to stop thinking about the week that's past and focus on WRUP, wherein all of the Massively staffers let you know what they'll be up to for the weekend. Check out the rundown past the break, and let us know your plans in the comments!
WRUP: Here, just have some kittens edition
This week is not a week for my usual random nonsense. Instead, I'm just going to give you this photo of Abyssinian kittens thanks to the wonder of Wikimedia Commons. Why Abyssinian? Because they're particularly lovely cats. Just enjoy that for a moment you don't have to worry about all of the other insanity that's going on and you can just picture some gorgeous little bundles of mewling fur in your mind. No punchline this week. Just have some kittens. Of course, you might consider WRUP a punchline in and of itself, but that is also here, complete with the Massively staff's plans for the weekend. Like every week, you can feel free to let us know your weekend plans down in the comments, even if they don't include cuddling kittens. But kittens would be nice for everyone, I think. (My cat sits on my desk as I work and purrs at me; I would know.)
WRUP: Quiet, we are watching our stories edition
Keep it down, now. We here at the Massively offices are watching our stories. These stories are very important to us. They contain a large number of cast members, and it is vitally important that we keep up with each and every one of them. During our story time, we don't want to hear about how RIFT is shutting down or World of Warcraft is launching an expansion about narwhals or Camelot Unchained is actually just Super Mario World with a few new sprites. We're watching our stories. If you're so bored you can just read this week's installment of WRUP, which contains all of the Massively staff's plans for the weekend. Well, the plans of those not too involved in watching our stories to reply. These are really important, you see. Here, just sit down and watch with us. Or read our plans past the break and let us know what you'll be up to in the comments -- that works too.
Steam offers Limbo for $2.50 today, Dishonored for $30 this weekend
Steam is chopping half off Arkane's Dishonored, bringing the price down to $29.99. The deal precedes next week's release of "The Knife of Dunwall," a new single-player add-on that explores a different assassin operating in parallel to the main game's plot. In fiscally related news, Farming Simulator 2013 is also discounted by 50 percent to $13.99. Both deals have already started and they'll last through Monday morning.Meanwhile, creepy indie charmer Limbo is on Steam sale for $2.50 until midnight.
WRUP: Is my face on fire edition
We've been friends a while, right? So I'm going to ask you something honestly, and I want you to answer me honestly. Is my face on fire? Right this moment, is my face wreathed in an infernal bouquet? Don't be worried about hurting my feelings; be worried that my face is burning. Or not. I have to be honest. I can't tell myself. I mean, I see a bright light in the bathroom mirror, but that might just be a glare from the sunlight. My lips have been pretty chapped, but that's normal for this time of year. Also I smell burning hair, but you know me; my sense of smell is terrible. So really -- is my face on fire? Oh, wait. Before you tell me about that, you should check out this week's installment of WRUP, all about what the Massively crew is up to over the weekend. And you should let us know what you'll be up to down in the comments. This face thing is probably fine; it can wait.
WRUP: Submarines are the ultimate fishing boats edition
Look, a submarine is a terrible war vehicle. Submarines are underwater and boats are above the water. There's nothing to shoot at except for other submarines. And Captain Nemo, but he's usually busy with giant squid-related shenanigans. But there are a lot of fish under the water, and since fish are dumb they'll think the submarine is just another fish. We should just be using all the submarines to catch all of the fish, and then we'll re-fish the oceans with all of the fish bones. Fish work like plants, right? I'm going to be pretty busy getting the first underwater fishing company going, but you can entertain yourselves for the rest of the day by reading this week's WRUP, all about the Massively staff's plans for the weekend. Oh, and you can let us know what you'll be up to yourself down in the comments. Hopefully you'll be getting ready for delicious fish yanked straight out of the water in what I'm dubbing the Fishermarine.
WRUP: Hyena jinx edition
Let's play a fun game I like to call hyena jinx! Are you excited? You're playing whether you want to or not. Here's how it works. You see those hyenas up there? They're going to follow you around and listen for you to say something. The sign that you've said the wrong thing by mistake will be one of the hyenas chewing your legs off while the other one wrecks your computer and car. Oh, and I forgot to mention that the things you're supposed to avoid are almost indistinguishable from things that you can do at will. Have fun with the hyenas! I will tell you that reading this week's installment of WRUP will not result in unpleasant hyena-related events. It'll just let you know what we on the Massively staff will be up to over the weekend. So go ahead and read that, and then let us know what you'll be up to down in the comments. Beware of potential hyena triggers.
WRUP: Pictures of bleach on the internet edition
This was a serious week for some of us. Or a serious Tuesday, anyway. One of our readers consequently asked for some brain bleach, like pictures of cats. This prompted a very serious discussion in the Massively virtual offices about whether we should be using cats or bleach for such purposes, and despite what you might think about people who work on the internet, bleach won by a single vote. So enjoy your bleach, everyone. Your whites will never be whiter as this harsh chemical sears fabric into its brightest possible white. Do not mix it with ammonia in a closed room. Of course, all of this is secondary to the main event, which is WRUP. It's just past the break, and while discussion of bleach and cats has been excised, all of the information about what we'll be doing over the weekend is still in place. You can also let us know what you'll be up to over the weekend down in the comments.
WRUP: My adventures with Seymour the Magical Plowing Horse part 37 edition
As mentioned in the previous 36 installments of this feature, I am deathly allergic to horses, a fact that Seymour found delightful as he split into several hundred copies and began plowing the field. I stood on an unplowed portion of the field in a suit and hat and contemplated how long it would take me to rid myself of this boring magical horse. When I was promised a magical horse, I was really expecting something more along the lines of Twilight Sparkle. Please tune in next week for another exciting installment of my adventures with Seymour the Magical Plowing Horse. For now, it's time for a word from our sponsors about WRUP. Several words, in fact, contained in list form past the break. Words that describe what the Massively staff will be up to over the weekend. It's probably more interesting than this bizarre horse thing, so you should stick around for that.
WRUP: The stupid benchmark game edition
Final Fantasy XIV released its benchmark this week. To celebrate, I've been playing the benchmark. Specifically, I've been tweaking settings to see how high I can get the score to go without sacrificing any major visual quality. This is stupid at face value, but it's especially stupid when you consider that I ran the benchmark at maximum resolution and settings and got a score that told me, "You're good; you can run the game like this just fine." In other words, I have turned a test program into a crude facsimile of a game in which I see how I can game the test. I say this without pride. Most of us at the Massively offices will be playing actual games rather than whatever stupid nonsense this is, so this week's WRUP is still relevant. Check out our plans past the break, and let us know what you'll be doing down in the comments!
WRUP: It's the final countdown!
Editor's Note: Mr. Gray doesn't know how to read a calendar. There's another week left before the patch! The new patch is here. You might say that this weekend is the final countdown. (Da da dahhh dahhh.) So when we talked to your intrepid WoW Insider staff, we asked what they most enjoyed about patch 5.1... and what they least enjoyed about patch 5.1. It's a mixed bag, after all. Anne Stickney (@Shadesogrey) I'm not sure what I'm doing this weekend -- likely writing along with working on alts to level the new guild. Best part of 5.1? Easily the lore in the Dominance Offensive/Operation Shieldwall stuff. I loved doing those quests, and they did a fantastic job of keeping the story moving along. Worst part? Well there was that time my guild went splat. We're back together and doing great now, however -- so I guess you could tack that onto the "best" answer as well.
WRUP: Ahh bees edition
Ahh! Ahh, bees! Bees, bees, bees! Get away from there! Bees are over there! Lots of bees! Oh, jeez, bees! How many bees are there? There are lots of bees. I'm scared of bees. Don't let the bees get me! Where did these bees come from! Bees to the left, bees to the right, here I am stuck in the middle, which is slowly filling with bees. I specifically would request no bees if there was a place for that. Bees! Ahh! Bees. Ahh! WRUP! Wait. Wait, that wasn't scary. It's not scary at all. It's just the weekend plans of the Massively staff compiled in list format just past the break. WRUP cannot swarm, nor will it produce delicious honey and pollinate flowers. WRUP is nothing like bees. So enjoy this week's installment, and thank whatever deity you believe in that you're not here surrounded by bees. I'd almost forgotten about the bees. Ahh!
WRUP: Things I am no longer allowed to do in work chat edition
I consider myself to be a professional worker as long as I'm not around my co-workers. As a result, there are certain things that I am no longer allowed to do in the Massively work chat. For example, I am not allowed to make a horrible pun and then immediately play a sound effect from Won't Get Fooled Again. I am not allowed to change the room's title to "Flapjack And His Orchestra." I am not allowed to speak in all caps while talking like what people in 2010 thought street pimps from 1992 sounded like. I am also not allowed to post pictures of my cat attacking My Little Pony figures, make references to Mr. Show, or insist that I be addressed as the master of cheese wheels. A new ban has been added to prevent me from discussing cabinet-making in an obscene manner, but that was really only half my fault. What I am allowed to do is introduce WRUP, which I'm doing right now. Check out our plans past the break, and let us know what you'll be up to in the comments!
