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WRUP: Fat chocobo secretly hates you
Welcome back to Massively's What Are You Playing, the game where we tell you what we're playing this weekend and you tell us that you really, really need a fat chocobo to ride and nothing else will do. We're sure you're planning to ride it, not to put it in a fat microwave and see whether the Peep experiment scales up. For science.
WRUP: You're doing it wrong
Welcome back to Massively's What Are You Playing, the game where we tell you what we're playing this weekend and you tell us how we're doing it wrong. This week, we're bidding a fond farewell to some (but not all!) legendary Massively staffers thanks to budget cuts across the AOL Tech and Joystiq networks, so today's WRUP will celebrate the Massively crew, past and present. Clanket sold separately.
WRUP: Collectible card job edition
My wife has been getting super into collectible card games lately, so I've designed the world's first collectible card job. You perform thankless tasks that you hate for several hours, and then bad things happen if you don't have enough cards to avoid them. So after four hours of shuffling and meticulously cleaning off all your cards and aligning them in a perfect pile... oh, no. You didn't earn enough cards. Now you lose all of your cards and I take your television. I think it'll be a real winner. If you want to work another few rounds, you might be able to keep your pets. Or you could just skip on ahead to WRUP, which is the usual assortment of Massively staff members planning for the weekend. As always, let us know what you'll be up to down in the comments below.
WRUP: Weekend of news
This has been a week of news. Changes to casting on the move, nerfs to Garrosh, and Heroes of the Storm leaks. These news-filled weeks feel few and far between these days, so it's nice to feel like our beloved Blizzard is picking up steam. What do you feel about the news of the weeks, and what are you hoping to hear next week? Adam Koebel (@bendakwow) It's going to be a lazy weekend consisting of a lot of Olympics watching and a bit of raiding. As for this week's news, I think its nice they are taking challenge modes seriously. Remember, you've got several months to get around to them if you've been putting them off. Next week, I want to hear something new about Warlords. I enjoyed the artcraft post about garrisons and now I want more! Maybe it's too early to talk about class changes, but some zone previews or something along those lines would be cool.
WRUP: Adopt a train edition
You. Yes, you, reading this right now. Have you adopted a train? Are you going to go give your money to a train to make sure that it's taken care of? You selfish monster. There are trains across our great nation that aren't able to afford so much as a single roof-mounted machine gun and accounting calculator, but you're sitting and reading on your solid gold computer about them. You make me sick. Adopt a train. Give the trains all of your money. We have no other hope against the car uprising, people. What's that? Oh, yes, it's time for WRUP, in which there are no trains, just the Massively staffers talking about their plans for the weekend or something. You can say what you'll be up to over the weekend down in the comments, but I really hope your plans involve a whole lot of adopting a train. Bring it into your home and make it a nest.
WRUP: Objective edition
This is a set of data stored in a computer that tells your computer to render pixels into letters, which in turn allows you to read these data as an article. Above this text is a different set of pixels forming a reproduction of a photograph of two elephant seals. Elephant seals are a type of aquatic mammal. They possess a set of visual characteristics that some human beings find pleasant and others do not. The subject of this article is a statement of what the Massively staff members plan to play over the weekend. It is titled "WRUP" as a shortening of "what are you playing," intentionally misspelling the words "are" and "you" to the phonetically identical "R" and "U." Clicking the "Continue Reading" button below will allow you to continue reading. Comments may be left below the article by clicking the "Submit Comment" button. Readers may wish to submit comments refuting the central point of the article or carrying on in the theme.
WRUP: Long hamsters edition
Long hamsters are a popular housepet in both America and Europe, available for sale at many larger pet stores. They are known to be friendly and sociable but extremely energetic, and they have a powerful scent that some people regard as unpleasant. These noble creatures are sometimes misidentified as ferrets, despite the fact that "ferret" is a common nickname for weasels thanks to their habit of ferreting out small objects. If you're interested in some long hamsters of your own, consult the internet. This week's WRUP past the cut is awfully conspiratorial. I wonder what's up with that? We're probably planning a crime or something. Go ahead and read our own vague allusions to what we're doing below, then let us know about your weekend plans down in the comments. Also, feel free to let us know if there are any facts about long hamsters that we neglected to mention.
WRUP: And now the conclusion edition
We've had a lot of fun with WRUP, but it's time to finally wrap up all of the long-lingering plot threads that we've had running. In this conclusion, Eliot and Bree will finally come to a mutually satisfying conclusion to a debate, at which point both of their heads will explode. Justin will consume a cup of the world's ultimate frozen yogurt, while Matthew and Matt will insist that Jasmine choose between them to decide who gets the last Hot Pocket. Then the entire staff is slowly eaten by hyenas. So now we... oh, wait, that's next week's episode. So please try and put all that out of your head as you read this week's WRUP about what we're going to be playing, and leave your own weekend plans down in the comments. You'll note that I left several other people's fates ambiguous, so guess your own conclusion! (Here's a hint: It's hyenas.)
WRUP: Can't tell you what this bird is edition
Sorrow weighs heavy upon my bosom, dear readers, because I cannot tell you about this bird. When I discussed my original idea for this installment of WRUP with Bree -- I like to keep her abreast of my thought process -- she immediately declared that I was not allowed to use its name in the title or body of this work. As a result, the supple curves that originally market this installment of the feature have now sagged into nothingness. We'll do our best to bounce back, however. This week's installment still features the Massively staff's plans for the weekend to nip any confusion in the bud, and you are more than welcome to leave your own plans down in the comments. So while I can't name the bird or discuss its fantastically fluffy chest, I'm sure that your own enjoyment will remain firmly supported as you run down our planned diversions.
WRUP: Very edition
WRUP this week is -- wait. Oh, you're all waiting for me to do the meme, right? Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but this isn't just a doge post. Shiba Inus are a noble breed, and they deserve our respect. Unfortunately, most people just know about these animals from the doge meme. Can't blame them, but still. Here's a Shiba, anyway. What a good boy! Really makes you want one, doesn't it? Universally smart and precocious though they are. Probably a bit much for a first-time dog owner. My desire for these puppies is still strong. Unsurprisingly. Can't let animal pictures get in the way of WRUP, though. Here we've collected the Massively staff's plans. Why? Education. Edification. Kindness? Er, not so much. Nothing all that kind about it. Don't focus on my rambling, though. Make your way past the cut. And do you have plans? Neat! You should share them in the comments. Please. Lets us know we're appreciated. And we need that. No lie.
WRUP: Bree does not know numbers edition
After years of service, Bree's central numeric unit appears to have finally broke down as of Friday. At first it was incidental things, like mentioning Torchlight III or 28 Studios or Final Fantasy XVI. Then it got worse when she said it was 28:34 in the morning and that it's currently the 65th of November. With a smell of smoke, the unit finally failed working altogether, and she started replacing numbers with the names of vegetables. On the plus side, I'm getting a raise to potato for my salary. Since it's the weekend, it's time for our latest edition of WRUP, in which the Massively staff shares its plans for the weekend and you get to share your plans down in the comments. For Bree's sake, please try to avoid using numbers in your comments, as it's hard enough to moderate the comment thread without introducing that can of worms.
WRUP: Look guys I finally found another picture of a man with a hat edition
I'm a complicated man, and no one understands me but my fellow searchers for pictures of men wearing hats. Three years ago, I found a picture of a man with a hat, and for a brief moment all seemed to be right in the world. Since then, despite a tireless complete lack of searching, I had not found another picture that matched my simple criterion of "man with a hat that I wanted to use as an article header." But now I've found another picture of a man with a hat! Although his hat isn't all that great. Are you going to spend your entire weekend looking for pictures of men with hats to leave in the comments? Or are you just going to look at what the Massively staff will be doing in WRUP just past the break and then inform us of your plans? If you're unsure, consider the problems of men wearing hats.
WRUP: Festivus is almost here edition
Tomorrow, my wife and I will be heading to a Festivus party. I've spent my whole year storing up smoldering resentment for the Airing of Grievances and working out in preparation for the Feats of Strength, so I have high hopes for this to be the best Festivus ever. Shortly thereafter, we will spend the remainder of the holidays with family. Why Festivus? Well, we have two cats. An unadorned aluminum pole is the one form of holiday decoration that will stand unmolested for the duration of the season. It's time for this week's installment of WRUP, which discusses Festivus precisely no times outside of this header. (The actual date is the 23rd.) Click on past the break to see what we're up to for the weekend, and let us know what you're planning on doing for the pre-holiday weekend down in the comments!
WRUP: Happy happy happy happy edition
Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy. Happy happy happy happy, happy happy happy happy; happy happy happy happy happy. Happy? Happy happy, happy happy happy, happy happy happy. Happy happy happy happy! Happy happy, happy happy happy happy, happy happy happy happy happy... happy happy happy. Happy happy happy happy happy, happy happy happy happy happy. Happy happy happy happy happy, happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy. Happy happy happy happy happy, happy happy? Happy happy happy, happy happy happy happy. Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy. Happy happy happy, happy happy happy happy happy happy! (Happy happy happy happy; happy happy happy happy happy happy happy.) Happy happy happy happy. WRUP. Comments. Happy.
WRUP: Happy non-panicked-shopping weekend edition
It's time for the most important holiday weekend of the year: that comfortable point when you can drive out and take part in a frenzied circus of consumerism while everyone is still treating one another like human beings. No one will attack you with a screwdriver in the middle of Target for trying to take home the last Tickle Me Optimus Prime or whatever kids want this year. It's great. Think fondly on this later when you search for the last gift you must buy in a shredded wasteland, with songs praising sharing and togetherness amidst a mass of screaming people fighting over commodities. Anyway, it's WRUP time, so that means you want to hear about what we'll be doing for the weekend (which may or may not include shopping). Check out our plans past the break, and let us know what you'll be up to down in the comments!
WRUP: Happy mostly out of turkey day edition
Today is Saturday, which in the grand American tradition means that you have nearly exhausted your Thanksgiving leftovers. Yesterday's meals mostly consisted of reheating the same food you ate on Thursday, possibly expressing once again how much you love turkey and falling asleep on the couch. But today you're nearly out of turkey, and you have to resume cooking for yourself (or as is more likely, pretending to cook for three minutes before ordering a pizza). Most of Massively's staff was too full of turkey to really talk about what we were planning for the weekend, but some of us still managed to take part in this week's WRUP. So click on past the break to find out what we have planned for the weekend, and let us know what you're going to be up to down in the comments. Well, what you're going to be doing game-wise. Dealing with the new dearth of turkey is your own problem.
WRUP: Perpetual gaming initiative edition
If there's one thing I know people hate, it's spiders hidden inside of all of their clothes. The second thing would be people writing for game sites without ever actually playing games. So I went ahead and did the opposite! The editing staff said there was no need whatsoever for me to hook myself up to a complicated system of IVs providing nutrition and stimulants so that I could be playing games all day every day, but I did it anyway. It's been five days, and I've learned a great lesson: This is completely miserable. Someone, please unhook me. If you aren't coming to unhook me, well, you can still enjoy this week's WRUP. Probably. If you can live with yourself for ignoring me while I'm sitting here, trapped in a video game-related torment that is more or less of my own devising. No, no, by all means, find out what the staff is up to this weekend and let us know in the comments. I'll wait. I can't do anything else.
WRUP: All DPS players are sharks edition
It's time to reveal a truth that many MMO players don't yet realize: All DPS players are sharks. If you're wondering why so many DPS seem to be addicted to the mantra of the holy "GOGOGO," it's because slowing down for just a minute means these players will die. They have to keep swimming and killing. This is what MMOs are doing to the sharks of the world. Don't ask how a shark is able to type or play the game; just realize that the rogue who will not wait for the tank or the healer or even the other DPS can't avoid doing what he does. He's a shark. One of the Massively staff members might be a shark, but I can neither confirm nor deny it. Perhaps he or she reveals his or her status as a shark in this week's WRUP, or perhaps it's just our usual roundup of our weekend plans as always. You won't know until you read onward, although you should tell us what you're doing down in the comments either way.
WRUP: Richie called it edition
Let's just own this, all right? Amidst all the other talk about World of Warcraft over the next couple of days, I feel it's important to note that Richie Procopio totally called one of the major features. He was one hundred percent correct. Housing is coming to the game, long after everyone (including me) had more or less given the very concept up for dead in Azeroth. So Richie is apparently psychic. I'm not saying he knows what's going to happen next, but I am saying that you should probably listen to him if he says to stay home next week. What's that? Oh, yes, it's WRUP all over again, I almost forgot. You know how that goes, we let you know what we're going to be up to over the weekend, then you let us know what you'll be doing down in the comments. This is exactly when you'd expect this to come around.
WRUP: Six years of Massively was just a fad edition
Well, guys, it's been a fun six years, but as a stunningly large number of other gaming news sites seem to believe, online games have really just been a fad. We all knew that to begin with, let's be honest. Frankly the whole idea of the Internet was really just a way to keep ourselves occupied between Pokémon games. So let's all move on to the next big thing while the Second Life band plays us a farewell round of Daft Punk remixes. Oh, the next thing? We were thinking writing the word "fart" in the margins of library books. Yeah, we've got Monday's features lined up. For tradition's sake, we've still included our plans for the weekend past the cut, because WRUP. Also we shared our favorite memories of the past year here at Massively, because it's what we do. Let us know what you're up to and what your favorite memories were down in the comments!
