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Joystiq's Game of the Year
Gears of War (Xbox 360)What the hell just happened? Did we honestly pick Gears of War as the best game of 2006? No, that can't be. The plan was to throw juvenile tantrums and to violently thrash against the machine! To blind the world with an elitist badge and proclaim an innate resistance against games that are both popular and heavily marketed! It's a shooter, for Allard's sake. You shoot things. With guns.The senseless violence is but one reason to look away from the screen in disgust. The other, as you may have concluded already, is the appalling state of the game's graphics. They make Pong look like an M.C. Escher painting being displayed in a room pumped full of hallucinogenic gas. If you can even discern your pixelated soldier from the flat environment, you'll note how you get repeatedly punished for running blindly into a hail of bullets and neglecting to take "cover." Not only is this completely unrealistic and contrary to modern warfare, it's a needless refinement to a bizarre, self-preservation concept in the genre. See, it's not even a very good shooter. The complete lack of immersion and excitement carries over into the game's terrible online cooperative mode. Some idiot on your friends list can rudely jump into your game at any point and then proceed to get in your way at every available turn. Multiplayer deathmatch isn't any better, forcing you to work with 3 other buffoons (who can't even circle-strafe or jump) if you hope to succeed. Add a forgettable MIDI soundtrack, poor pacing and a complete failure to emulate an action film to your considerations, and you become perfectly equipped to answer the pertinent question. Game of the year? Obviously not.The runners-up are presented (in order) after the break.
Friday video: Behold the future
We can't decide if we like this future or not, but it's already here, so we better make up our minds. Behold: legions of videos infesting YouTube, videos of people getting their Wii on. At first it was only a few ... and now it's spreading, like a virus, inundating every aspect of the World Wide Intar Wub! Wii videos are so the new cat pictures. Next week? Wii videos that feature cats. Pictures may be worth a thousand words, but videos get linked everywhere. And yes, we shamelessly stole the graphic from Warren Ellis.
AP: Wii 'gamers gone wild'
CNN posts an AP story about Wii "gamers gone wild" -- no, not the good kind of wild going -- hyping the Wii accident-buzz in the mainstream media. The article is light in tone and suggests that the injury murmurs on the internet may be generating positive Wii press despite the occasional, horribly sickening knee injury. Our favorite part of the story is the bullet point header for those with short attention spans. The first point, "Controllers go flying, sometimes poke holes in TVs," gets a gold star for mixing casual writing with a sensational subject.
Wii Tennis destroys girl's knee
No doubt growing tired of assaulting the smiling, unprotected face of its owner, the Wii console now turns its cataclysmic death beam to more useful parts of the human anatomy. One unlucky lady discovered this during a recent session of Wii Sports Tennis when her knee suddenly ceased functioning in a natural way. According to the testimony on Wii Have A Problem, the destructive console conspired with the high heels she was wearing at the time and ultimately brought her down to her dislocated knee.With the inclusion of an additional photo of paramedics surrounding the injured player, we once again have to consider the possibility of this being a fake injury (and one that could just as easily have occurred in a Dance Dance Revolution session). Perhaps it's time for our savvy readers to confirm or debunk this one. What say you?
Here come the newbs
Greg Miller of the Columbia Daily Tribune has a problem -- people who don't play video games are suddenly kicking his ass all around Wii Sports, and he's not happy about it. And now his mom is buying a Wii for herself. Schooling Greg on his own console just wasn't enough anymore.Is he alone? Since my own mother is busily eyeballing eBay and wondering if $400 is too much to pay for the Wii she can't ever seem to catch at Target (they sell out in moments), we're gonna go with no. Wii fever is overtaking nongamers everywhere! Have you been affected? Has your grandmother added "pwn" to her vocabulary? Are you still stuck in the water temple on Twilight Princess because you can't get to your Wii? We wanna hear about it.[Thanks, Barb!]
Wii Sports tricks
Wii Sports may be the sleeper hit of the Wii launch; this little game's depth and options keep impressing us. GameFAQs has even been tabulating tricks and cheat codes for this pack-in.While you may discover many of the tricks on your own -- like our occasional bowling ball toss in reverse -- many of the techniques add simple new features to the game. For example, hold the direction pad when beginning a bowling game to change your ball's color. Other tricks change the tennis court color and pitch baseballs under-hand, while tips help score that elusive 91-pin strike.[Via digg]
Featured Friday Video: Reggie will stomp all over you
The Reggienator may not be able to stay out of the gutter when it comes to the real world, but in the virtual world of Wii Sports, he will kick you in the face and talk about your momma. And don't even think about mentioning Wii60 to him. Despite the way the portmanteau rolls off the tongue, he ain't trying to hear that. When he's done stomping on you, Reggie is gonna go get your 360 and stomp that, too.Check out Reggie's bowling after the jump!
Today's (next) hottest game video: Wii remote range
Today's we're on the second hottest game video, because #1 is Stephen Colbert, FTWii! The next one down is a video showing off the range of the Wii-mote while bowling, and it's pretty darned impressive. Although the only reason you'd ever be gaming this far away from the Wii is a) because you own a massive television, b) you're gaming at your local multiplex, or c) you're just too extreme to game in the room as the console. Or maybe you're an uber-rich gamer (Bill Gates, you got yourself a Wii?) and you've got all three going on.Fake or not? You make the call. Check it out after the jump and chime in. Better yet, send us your own results.
A Wii solution for sweaty hands
We here at Wii Fanboy understand that there are some players out there that really get into their games and as a result of their competitiveness in Wii Sports or Rayman Raving Rabbids, they sweat. Or, in some bizarre circumstance, their hands could get sore from holding the controller. Sounds silly, but who could forget those classic gloves Nintendo handed out to silence complaints of blisters, cuts, burns and lacerations from gamers playing too much Mario Party on the N64? This Skid Proof Glove kinda reminds us of that. Seems like Nintendo is covering their tracks just in case annoyed gamers come knocking down their doors to show them their ouchies after 25 rounds of tennis. Come to think of it, $8 (USD) ain't that bad to keep your TV safe from accidents. We just really hope that buyers wash their gloves frequently .... [Via Go Nintendo]
The best Wii Sports boxer
Get those boxing gloves ready 'cause we've found the best (and sweetest) Wii Sports boxer ever. Ends up, it's a girl and she is a whopping four-years-old. Never have we seen such enthusiastic flailing. No doubt her opponent shed a few tears after seeing her skill and cuteness. Honestly, the only thing that could top her boxing would be a dozen sad-eyed puppies surrounded by balloons. Check out the video after the jump. [Via Joystiq]
Wiimote dangerous in novice hands
Like so many others this past Thursday, I used Thanksgiving to introduce Wii into the hands of family members. Then my mom introduced her backhand into my 8 year-old cousin's head. BOOM!Admittedly, I wasn't around to supervise witness the scene, but quickly responded to the explosion of sound. A gasp. A yelp. A thud -- batteries and cover striking the floor. The strap held; and I snatched up the Wiimote, still dangling from my mother's wrist.After applying an ice pack to my cousin's smarting head, mom recounted the incident: As she stepped into a backhand return, my cousin excitedly bounced forward anticipating the ball, her head just at the height of mom's strike. The collision was enough to snap off the prongs that hold the top of the battery cover, sending the cover and batteries flying, scattering across the hardwood. Thankfully, no long-term damage to report (unless you count mom's abrupt retirement from Wii Sports).It seems Nintendo has anticipated such misadventure, offering replacement battery covers (currently on back order) for purchase on its online store. Note to self: Mom owes me $1, plus shipping.See also:A Wii Thanksgiving test on the familyA Wii Thanksgiving test on the family: Part 2
Wii Sports player faces 91 pins
If you thought you were the champ at Wii Sports bowling, think again. The real pro featured in the video took a shot at 91 pins in training mode and the results are eye catching. While using the right bumper as a ramp kind of seems like cheating, we don't care. Honestly, who in their right mind could ever knock down 91 pins? Only cheaters and Chuck Norris, that's who. [Via Joystiq] See the sweet bowling action after the break.
Today's hottest game video: Wii Sports 91 pin strike
Today's hottest game video comes to you courtesy of Wii Sports. In one of the bowling training stages, you have the chance to roll at 91 pins. This guy goes for the rail though, and misses every pin, yet manages to knock 'em all down. Now that's bowling. Of course, if you tried that with Walter from The Big Lebowski, you'd get a .45 in your face, so watch it. Give it a whirl and let us know how it goes, just don't punch a hole in your TV with the Wii-mote.
Wii Sports gift available in Animal Crossing
And the Wii-related gifts in Animal Crossing: Wild World just keep rolling in! This time it's a set of bowling pins to commemorate Wii Sports. We're just glad it wasn't, say, a replica of Mitch, the Mii who keeps popping up in our one-player Wii Sports games, complete with stringy hair and creepy mustache. [Thanks, Roddie!]
The world's cutest little Wii Sports boxer
With families gathering together for the Thanksgiving holiday, we expect thousands of relatives to be exposed to the joys of Wii Sports for the first time this weekend. We have to warn you, though, that no matter how cute you think it is to watch your family members flailing around with the Wii remote, there's no way their performance will live up to this video of an extremely excited four-year-old Wii Sports boxer.Think you can do better? Send us your embarrassing videos of family members trying out the Wii or PS3 for the first time and show the world that your genes come from a more mortifying source than anyone else's.
Losing your inhibition (Wii delight #002)
Are you too insecure to become a toolbox? Because you will.It's no secret that Wii Sports can be played with slight flicks of the wrist, while the rest of your body sits slumped against the couch. But what happens when you stand up and put some umph into the forearm; a little finesse into your swing; a little swagger in your at-bat; some force behind that punch? What happens is fun (at the expense of your cool).We recently baited over some folk (not pictured) with the promise of PlayStation 3 -- they ended up staying for Wii Sports. Nintendo's pack-in won't hold the attention of the solitary gamer, but it can command a small party, especially when the drinks are flowing. What are your plans for Friday night?Wii delights vs. Wii annoyancesPS3 delights vs. PS3 annoyancesXbox 360 delights vs. Xbox 360 annoyances
A much better Wii Sports DVD case
Tired of that cardboard Wii Sports sleeve that came with your system? Want to jazz it up to match your other Wii game cases? Remember that Target Wii DVD for a penny? Tired of all these questions?If the answer to all of those is yes, then you've come to the right place. The Cover Project has created a far superior cover for Wii Sports and, if you go into Target and snag one of those white DVD cases, you can be rolling your own custom cases off the presses. The only caveat: PlayWii explains that you'll need to be able to customize your printer margins or use 8.5" x 14" paper to accommodate the custom cover. Pretty swanky.[Thanks, Tim; via PlayWii]
DIY Wii Sports case
Unsatisfied with the flimsy cardboard sleeve cradling the pack-in Wii Sports? Then make your own, like reader Tim. Just grab any of the premade sleeves floating around in the intertubes (Tim suggests The Cover Project), print it out, and find a white DVD sleeve. If you picked up one of the demo discs offered not long ago at various retailers, you're set -- and Wii Sports can enjoy a place of honor next to your other Wii games, instead of being relegated to the dark and dusty interior of your TV stand.Haven't seen the original sleeve for Wii Sports, the one included with the console? Never fear, because we've included a few shots after the jump. We must say, the DIY case is much preferable. What gives, Nintendo? We didn't rate a real plastic box? Absolute shenanigans. If you're sticking with the original sleeve (why would you?), try not to spill anything on it. Wet cardboard is no one's friend.
Metareview - Madden NFL 2007 (Wii)
Madden NFL 07 -- is it "one" better than Madden NFL 06? That's our basic complaint with sports games; we like them, but we don't want to keep buying the same thing again. (We're also not compulsive enough to upgrade just for new teams.)The Wii is supposed to change all of that by recreating sports game controls, and the initial reviews cast Madden in this positive light. And while the reviews have their caveats, they leave us looking forward to the next Madden for the first time in a long time; the second-generation Wii games are going to make the system succeed or fail. Gamespot (8.4/10) "But once you get your hands on it, you'll find a highly revamped experience that makes great use of the Wii's unique capabilities. And it's not just a few things here and there, either. Tons of the various moves and actions of football are mapped to the motion-sensing controls, with largely positive results. ... What this means is that by tilting the Nunchuk from side to side, you'll juke in the appropriate direction, and by tilting the remote from side to side, you'll perform a right or left stiff arm." 1Up (6.5/10) "This edition is anything but a pick-up-and-play experience, and while I enjoyed offense after getting the hang of things (especially juking with the Nunchuk and passing with a flick of the Wii-mote), I always felt totally helpless on defense." IGN (8.5/10) "Exclusive to the Wii version only, Madden 07 offers three multiplayer games for up to four players. Each of the games is simple in concept, but still very deep. We're hesitant to even call them "mini-games" as there's a certain stigma that goes with a title like that, and Madden 07's multiplayer is definitely very, very solid." Madden seems to be on the right track, but how are sports games that don't rely on upper-body movements going to play? Will FIFA include a soccer ball with a sleeve for the Wii Remote?
Wiimote strap breaks, controller destroys TV
So there's this dude who was playing Wii Sports bowling, as his story goes, and his pal rolls a Lebowski and the next thing you know the strap breaks from the force of the swing; his slippery hands let loose, and the Wiimote flies like a missile and cracks his pal's TV. Believe it or not, having played Wii Sports bowling, this is totally something we can imagine. But you can take one of two positions here: 1) dude or his friend weren't using the wrist strap, as is recommended before every game starts, and the controller flew out of his hands and smashed the set; dude(s) cut the strap and put it on display for internet pity points (and possibly a new TV courtesy of an anxious Nintendo). Or 2) somehow the Wiimote strap -- which, for the record, we think feels sturdy enough -- does break mid-game and this guy really is out a 60-inch TV thanks to Nintendo's fabric engineering team. But we know one thing for sure, that's a helluva crack and something tells us it won't be the last.[Thanks, Sando]Update: We spoke with Jon Leonard, the guy whose TV is now cracked worse than a Mad mag knockoff. He insisted to us there was zero foul play going on here and that he's not out to get Nintendo to replace his TV, nor is he ready to pursue legal options. Just that his pal got carried away bowling and the strap broke under somewhat normal circumstances. (We asked if they were spinning it around or anything of the like and he said no, it was all normal, non-abusive use.) Nintendo hasn't contacted him yet -- we assume they're just about now shuffling into the office up there in Washington -- but we'll keep you posted.
