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"Call me Spot," the drunk Gilnean said. "Just call me Spot." The dwarf barkeep started to slide another pint toward the druid but the burly man just waved it off. "No, no," the man said. He gestured to his backpack. A thin tube extended from it, tapering off at the druid's hand. The man stu...

2 years ago 0 Comments
September 28, 2012 at 7:00PM
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"Dear Throgg... dear lord this looks like it was written by a goblin with a broken hand being used as a pen by a drunken ogre." "Uncle Grumpy wrote me?" Throgg peered at the letter. "He did! You should read it to me." Lolegolas stared piercingly at the disconcertingly chipper orc. "I ...

2 years ago 0 Comments
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Soot growled as Lolegolas's Wind Rider Cub took a bite out of the Netherwhelp. The young wind rider pinned the dragonkin to the ground. For all the world, the cub looked like it was smiling. "Look, I'm not trying to be obnoxious," the blood elf said mildly. "But I've been running with this cub...

2 years ago 0 Comments
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The young woman sat in her cage, running her metal cup across the bars. "One, two... Throgg is coming for you." Soot whirled around in the cave, growling at Miranda as he paced. "Shut up. They don't even know how to fight with pets." "Three, four... Lolegolas is at your door," she said. "Fi...

2 years ago 0 Comments
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When we last left our heroes, the plot was finally moving forward again, thanks to your narrator's sudden obsession with pet battles. I mean, seriously, have you tried them out yet? OMG, awesome. Lolegolas and Throgg rode from the gym in a cloud of dust and machismo. Like a pair of gods carved...

2 years ago 0 Comments
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Throgg leaned back against the pet gymnasium wall, chewing on a piece of straw while he watched Lolegolas. For his part, the blood elf did not look amused. "What will you be fighting with today?" the old man asked Lolegolas. The gym trainer had long, flowing white hair and a slightly stoned lo...

2 years ago 0 Comments
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Throgg growled at the human. "Where is the girl, human? Where is she?" "Ha!" the soldier cackled, throwing his cape back over his shoulder. "I am Soot Dartsum of the Imperial Navy! I will not be cowed by the likes of an ogre." "Orc," Lolegolas quietly pointed out. "Throgg's an orc. You can ...

2 years ago 0 Comments
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"You're joking," Lolegolas insisted. "There's no such thing as a flammard." Throgg waved the Amber Flammard of Klaxxi'vess around in the air, making vague buzzing sounds as he did so. "Is, too! It's a noble weapon! The weapon of an orc!" "Flammard? Really? A flammard's a thing?" "It's a ...

2 years ago 0 Comments
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Lolegolas jumped at the squawking that suddenly erupted behind him. It sounded like someone strangling a moonkin. "What the heck?" the blood elf asked. "This is my new phoenix," Throgg said, straddling an immense bird. "It's a Crimson Pandaren Phoenix." "That doesn't look like a pandaren," ...

2 years ago 0 Comments
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Wandering through the isles of Pandaria, Throgg and Lolegolas are making a slow but inevitable trip toward Miranda. But for now, we'll enjoy some shock, awww, and general fun with their journey. The druid jogged down the hill to catch up with the dyanamic duo. He stopped short when he saw the ...

2 years ago 0 Comments
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When last we left our heroes, Throgg and Lolegolas had just arrived in the pandaren training grounds. Throgg finally answered the question about his unique patois habits, which leads to the inevitable lunch episode. "I'm hungry," Throgg complained. "I brought fish, though. You want fish?" "...

3 years ago 0 Comments
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When last we left our heroes, Throgg and Lolegolas had just crossed the barrier between worlds to join the beta. We now resume with their quest to hunt down Miranda. Not Spot has not been seen for some time. "This doesn't look right," Lolegolas said. He stood atop a hill, looking down at small...

3 years ago 0 Comments
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When last we left our heroes, they began a journey to rescue Miranda. Packing their trusty Impa-- I mean, motorbike, they took off to break through the barrier between world. There are lots of spoilers here. The crab wasn't playing fair. As the gatekeeper between worlds, the crab guarded the b...

3 years ago 0 Comments
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When last we left our heroes, they'd hopped in a motorcycle to ride into the sunset -- and take a boat to Pandaria. However, they lack a map and live in a microcosm that represents the overall Blizzard community, so they cannot simply walk into Pandaria. Also, click click click click click click ...

3 years ago 0 Comments
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As we now transition to a new chapter of the story, the narrator will take a moment and indulge in literary thievery -- I mean, literary homage. Well, not really literary, since I'm stealing from a different medium, but I've always liked the idea -- and shut up and read it already, OK? In patc...

3 years ago 0 Comments
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When last we left our heroes, they were discussing the finer points of beer and tea in an experimental post that didn't really work out well. Taking feedback (and several donkey punches to the gut from his editor) seriously, the narrator returns to the ongoing action -- which is to say, getting t...

3 years ago 0 Comments
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When last we left our heroes, Throgg and Lolegolas had just walked into a bar. While that's a classic setup for a joke, the dazzling duo are in a more laconic mood. Throgg drummed his fingers on the table top. "No clue what to expect in Pandaria. Never been Jack Black fan." "They say it has...

3 years ago 0 Comments
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"By Pond's swiftly approaching expiration date!" Lolegolas gasped. "What are you wearing?" Throgg blinked mildly at his friend. "Rabbit ears. I ... thought that was obvious. I mean, they're bunny ears. They're not for reception." Lolegolas licked his lips and nodded slowly. "Noblegarden, hu...

3 years ago 0 Comments
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When last we left our heroes, Chromie aborted their research in Outland by sending them off to somewhere misty and panda-filled. Miranda was kidnapped, no doubt allowing her to serve as MacGuffin and also forcing her to stop giving away narrator secrets. I'm just saying. "We need stop at bank ...

3 years ago 0 Comments
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When last we left our heroes, they were idly poking around the Outland. They weren't entirely sure what to do with themselves, desperately in need of something new to get them moving. Nominally, they were tracking down leads on who might have infiltrated the Forsaken. Sounds like it's time for a ...

3 years ago 0 Comments