mad-libs-april-fools-day-2011
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Global Chat: Best of April first edition
Friday was April Fool's day, and while we at Massively didn't want to stop bringing you all the latest real news, we wanted to get in on the fun as well. In the end, we compromised by making a few little additions to our schedule in the first half of the day. While we had regular news at the top of the hour as always, on the :30s we handed the virtual printing press over to you, our readers. Several of our writers created Mad Libs-style news stories, leaving out the important parts and allowing you, the readers, to create whatever news your hearts desired. Today we're looking at the ones that kept us laughing, so follow along after the jump for the best of April first!
Massively's April Fools' Day [adjective] roundup
The favorite day of the year for anyone named April has [verb ending in ed] the internet, making some web surfers [emotion] and others [emotion]. In [adjective] Massively fashion, we felt it best to gather all this news [adverb]. After all, what would an event be without a [adjective] Massively roundup? World of Warcraft [past tense verb] not just one internet prank but four for the [plural noun] of BattleNet. Turbine invited its [plural noun] to be the broccoli for [adjective] race in Dungeons and Dragons Online. The [plural title] of Star Wars: The Old Republic did not want to leave the Wookiee [plural noun] from playing their [adjective] game, so they created a Shyriiwook interface for all those [adjective] people. However, the prank that takes the [food] has to be ArenaNet's new Guild Wars 2 class, the Commando; Anet created [adjective] videos complete with jiggle physics and placed helicopters into the current Guild Wars game. After the cut, we have [past tense verb] all the [adjective] pranks in this year's batch of favorite MMOs. Now you won't have to [verb] around the internet to find them yourself! But if you do [verb] something not on our list, let us know in the comments.
Launch date invites celebration and dismay
In an unprecedented announcement, [developing company] stated in a press release today that [unreleased game] will launch on [date], much to the [emotion] of its fans. "We have always [past tense verb] our supporters, so we did exactly as they have been asking," [title] [proper name] stated to us this morning. "We've always said we would not launch until the game was [adjective] -- now it is, [interjection]!" Unfortunately for those of you living in [country], you will not see the game on store shelves until [date]. To make up for this delay, the developers have planned a pre-release party in [city], [country] on [date]. The game's [title], [proper name], said, "Of course, we don't like people in that country, otherwise we would have released the game in all countries at the same time. Why do you think the [plural nationality] aren't getting the game at all?" For everyone else, grab your [weapon], put on your [article of clothing], and get ready to [verb] your enemy's [body part]. Hail to the [monarch]! Games Journalism sure is hard work, so we've decided to take a break today and let you write your own news! Too many stories about RIFT on Massively lately? Not enough about the game of your choice? No problem! Much in the style of Mad Libs, today is your day to create the news you want to read, all day on the :30s. Simply fill in the blanks and it's yours. Have fun!
Generosity scandal rocks sci-fi sandbox
Players of [hardcore MMO] reeled today over the the latest scandal to hit the game. According to our sources, a character by the name of [player #1] of [guild name] flew his [spaceship name] above a neglected outpost on [game location], dumping over [huge number] [game currency] on the players below. The money has an approximate value of [huge number] USD. "[Player #1] is a travesty," one angry citizen declared. "This game is about scamming and swindling idiots out of their money, not giving it away like some namby-pamby carebear in [themepark MMO]." "I could have been killed!" insisted [player #2], who spends his game time [tradeskill ending in -ing] in the town. "All that [game currency] was really heavy. What if it had landed on my [body part]?" [Player #3], who is not an economist, suggested that donations of this magnitude ruin the economy. "We can't just go around throwing free [game currency] out of spaceships. It causes inflation and hurts [insulting term for newbie players]." [Game company] could not be reached for comment. Games Journalism sure is hard work, so we've decided to take a break today and let you write your own news! Too many stories about RIFT on Massively lately? Not enough about the game of your choice? No problem! Much in the style of Mad Libs, today is your day to create the news you want to read, all day on the :30s. Simply fill in the blanks and it's yours. Have fun!
Dev declares war on World of Warcraft
Well, he did it: [dev position] [developer name] stuck a foot in [his/her] mouth today by saying that [Game X]'s [feature] was far superior to World of Warcraft's, and Blizzard can just kiss [his/her] grits. Speaking from an undisclosed location deep in [geographical location], [developer name] calmly reloaded a sniper rifle as a deterrent against opinionated players. "Let's face it, gamers are like [domesticated farm animal]. The grass that hasn't been grown yet is surely more tasty than the one they're chewing, and they're going to bleat about it no matter how many times the farmer -- that's me -- hits them over the head with a calm-me-down [farm implement]. That's why they should just meekly flock together to play [Game X] and shut their gobs about how everything has to relate to World of Warcraft. According to playground rules, we rule and you all drool." Blizzard's lawyers, armed with the latest fully automatic briefs, suited up for an assault. "[Game X] and [developer name] are now Public Enemy Number One, and we encourage WoW players everywhere to take up vigilante justice against this blasphemy. Long live World of Warcraft! Long live World of [something-craft]! Whoops, we really shouldn't have said that last one." The U.N. has convened to discuss the developing crisis, but Canadian councilman [funny name] feels powerless to stop the two juggernauts from shredding each other like [insect]. "We can only hope and pray, eh?" he said. Games Journalism sure is hard work, so we've decided to take a break today and let you write your own news! Too many stories about RIFT on Massively lately? Not enough about the game of your choice? No problem! Much in the style of Mad Libs, today is your day to create the news you want to read, all day on the :30s. Simply fill in the blanks and it's yours. Have fun!
Razer to offer new MMO helper accessory
Whether you play World of Warcraft or [game that is not World of Warcraft], you just can't help running into the player who dies on every boss fight, even [wimpy boss]. Luckily, Razer has [adverb] thought to [verb] a new accessory, expected to release later this [time period]. Called the Razer [predatory animal], this new machine will provide up-to-the-[time interval] assistance to the most needy [animal] in your group. After a player installs the [number] electrodes included with the device, it will helpfully offer such [plural noun] of wisdom such as "don't stand in the [color] pools" and "get out of the [chemical reaction]" and "you have [debuff], you should have read the article on [fan database]." In addition, each time the character [verbs], the device will [verb] a small electrical shock. [Game designer] said that the device performs wonderfully in closed testing. "Players are always [verb ending in -ing] about [dungeon], but having a member hooked up to the Razer [predatory animal] should really help. If a player can't stop [verb ending in -ing] during prime time, at least you'll know he's in as much pain as you." Games Journalism sure is hard work, so we've decided to take a break today and let you write your own news! Too many stories about RIFT on Massively lately? Not enough about the game of your choice? No problem! Much in the style of Mad Libs, today is your day to create the news you want to read, all day on the :30s. Simply fill in the blanks and it's yours. Have fun!
Developer announces, cancels a new MMO
Earlier today, [developer] announced [type of fish] Online, a brand-new [themepark/sandbox] game set in a vibrant [genre] world, complete with player [verb ending in -ing] and all the [type of furniture] you could eat. The post also [adverb] hinted that the game would involve [character], a fan favorite that many players have been waiting for over a [time interval] to see. [Number] minutes later, the company [verbed] the post to announce that the game was no longer on the table. Due to [game developer]'s enormous [noun] habit and problems with adapting [game engine] to run on [operating system], the project was shelved indefinitely. Players caught up in the maelstrom feel [emotion]. "I can't believe we'd be so easily [verbed]," said [player name]. "I really thought this would be the game for me, like [game name 1] and [game name 2] could have been if the devs didn't [verb]. Or like [game name 3] was before they nerfed [class]. Or like [game name 4] before they [verbed] it down for the casuals." [Player name] continued listing MMOs for the next [number] minutes. Games Journalism sure is hard work, so we've decided to take a break today and let you write your own news! Too many stories about RIFT on Massively lately? Not enough about the game of your choice? No problem! Much in the style of Mad Libs, today is your day to create the news you want to read, all day on the :30s. Simply fill in the blanks and it's yours. Have fun!
The Daily Grind: Has this ever happened to you?
You know how it goes. You log in to [MMO] expecting to [verb] a [noun] or two, when out of nowhere an enormous [noun] shows up. Next thing you know you've been playing for [number] hours, you can't feel your feet, and you're pretty sure that you smell worse than [game developer] after [verb ending in -ing] for the better part of a week. Not to mention that you're pretty certain you've completely destroyed your [noun] in the excitement, and that's going to set you back at least $[number]. So what do you do when you have to deal with [noun]? Is that your sign that it's time to [verb] your [noun] with your favorite [weapon type], or do you just think that you'd be better off with [adjective] NPCs to help you [verb]? Are you [emotion] when it happens, or just left to wonder what in the holy [animal] went wrong? Games Journalism sure is hard work, so we've decided to take a break today and let you write your own news! Too many stories about RIFT on Massively lately? Not enough about the game of your choice? No problem! Much in the style of Mad Libs, today is your day to create the news you want to read, all day on the :30s. Simply fill in the blanks and it's yours. Have fun!
