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SPOGS Racing slams into WiiWare
Talk about your emotional roller coasters. We spoke just yesterday of our attempts to bring Pogs back into the public consciousness, so a brief glance at this week's WiiWare title, SPOGS Racing (1-2 players, 1,000 Wii Points), filled our hearts with glee. But just as we made bids on every eBay Pogs lot we could find we re-read the title and started praying that someone out there was willing to pay more than $23.50 for an Alf Slammer.So, apparently, SPOGS have nothing to do with Pogs, except in the fact that they're both disc shaped and that you likely have a minimum of interest in them. So ... moving on.%Gallery-26974%
Do the Magnetica Twist on WiiWare
Video game fans are known to complain about pre-game hype, but, if you would indulge us, we'd like to invite you, Rod Serling-like, to enter into a world where there is no hype: It's called WiiWare. And in this bizarre alternate dimension, games are released with no fanfare and very little information about their actual contents. Take, for instance, today's release: Magnetica Twist (Nintendo, 1-4 players, 1,000 Wii Points): It sounds quite a bit like the marble-matching gameplay of the DS Magnetica, but with a Mii of your choice manning the marble-blasting cannon. ... So wait, they're allowed to use Miis in games? News to us. You'll have to decide for yourself if this innovative new Mii-in-game technology is worth $10.
Sci-fi shooter Gyrostarr targets WiiWare
It's Monday morning, and right on schedule, WiiWare has popped out yet another offspring, this time care of developer High Voltage. And while the company continues to preach the high-end merit of Nintendo's console, its latest aims to keep things small and shooty, just how we like them. Check out the trailer after the break. Gyrostarr (High Voltage Software, 1-4 players, 700 Wii Points): Think of it as Tempest, only, you know, not. High Voltage's love affair with the Wii doesn't begin and end with The Conduit, as the developer this morning dropped its "sci-fi" shooter Gyrostarr onto the service. Offering 50 procedurally generated levels and both motion-sensitive and traditional controls, the game promises to give up to four trigger-happy players plenty to shoot at and items to collect, while aiming for that next elusive warp gate and just one more manic stage.
Block Breaker Deluxe and Fishing Master come to WiiWare
Far too often we don't know what the heck we're looking at when we load up the new WiiWare entries for the week, so it's nice to see some familiar names this week. You're sure to remember Block Breaker Deluxe from its appearance on cell phones all over this great land. And Cocoto Fishing Master originally appeared on the PS2. Welcome home, guys, welcome home. Block Breaker Deluxe (Gameloft, 1-2 players, 800 Wii Points): They say: "Prepare for the frenzy of the coolest block-breaker game ever. Block Breaker Deluxe is a reinvention of the classic arcade brick-breaker game with a trendy graphical style, fun atmosphere and an exclusive multiplayer mode. Lively characters and amazing graphics provide distinctive settings of the jet-set nightlife, including a cool bar, dance club, casino and more." We say: If you wanted to pay $8 to play Arkanoid, you should just invent a time machine and go buy it in the Sears bargain bin in 1986. Cocoto Fishing Master (Neko Entertainment, 1 player, Rated E for Everyone, 700 Wii Points): They say: "Welcome to the adventures of Cocoto, Fishing Master. Get ready for a completely new experience on Wii. Play the role of Cocoto and travel the world to find five millennial fish. Only they can stop the magic cauldron from overflowing with lava and prevent the world from being destroyed. Thanks to Cocoto Fishing Master for Wii, fishing has never been such fun. Use the Wii Remote™ and Nunchuk™ controllers like a real fishing rod to catch more than 30 different fish." We say: At least it's a buck cheaper than Arkanoids: Urban Nights.
My Pokmon Ranch is on WiiWare and I'm humiliated
So I log on to WiiWare this afternoon, and what do I see is the latest addition to the service? My Pokémon Ranch. A jolt of fear shot through me. "How did they find it?!" I shouted aloud. "Was it the FCC? The SEC? I know they've all been looking for My Pokémon Ranch, but I never thought it would come to this!" I had just called my secretary Beverly to warn her and to order her to start putting Caterpies into the shredder before the Feds got to them when I realized my error.Apparently, My Pokémon Ranch (Nintendo, 1 player, 1,000 Wii Points) is a game that lets you introduce your Miis and your Pokémon (they can be imported from Pokémon Diamond and Pokémon Pearl) and allow them to hang out together. It is not, literally, my Pokémon ranch, though I think it's an error that anyone could make. But don't worry, the shredding was promptly halted.
WiiWare adds Toki Tori and Protthea
We thought about putting the kibosh on these WiiWare updates until we get the one game that we're ALL waiting for: Major League Eating. But it's Monday morning, so we've got a lot of internet to fill and we imagine you have an equal amount of free time. So here we are. Toki Tori (Two Tribes, 1-2 players, Rated E for Everyone, 1,000 Wii Points): Well, it's WiiWare's fourth week, and we're finally getting our first remake of a Game Boy Color game (confidence get!). In this puzzle/platformer, you'll collect eggs using zany items across 70 levels. A second player can join in by "drawing hints while you are playing." We hope this picture of an oversized penis helps you, partner, because that's what you're getting. Protöthea (UbiSoft, 1 player, 1,000 Wii Points): Protöthea (as you can see here) is a top-down scrolling shooter from UbiSoft. In an effort to find more to say about it, the official Nintendo press release notes it "introduces new concepts to a beloved, classic game style while mixing genres and utilizing the full capabilities of the Wii console, from graphics to controls." What does that mean, exactly? We have no idea.
Dr. Mario prescribes Family Table Tennis for WiiWare
Here we are in the third week of WiiWare and we still feel like we aren't able to equip you guys and gals properly for your buying decisions. We feel pretty confident about Dr. Mario, if you aren't burnt out on it, but we have literally no clue about Family Table Tennis. Let us know in the comments if you give either one a spin. Dr. Mario Online Rx (Nintendo, 1-4 players, 1,000 Wii Points): It's the classic Dr. Mario that you have played a thousand times love, wherein an Italian plumber tosses more pills then Amy Winehouse to practice medicine completely without a license. But Nintendo has added new multiplayer modes, including a Friend Battle Demo that you can play with someone who doesn't own the game. Family Table Tennis (Aksys Games, 1-2 players, 500 Wii Points): You can probably figure out what to expect here. It's table tennis (though we don't know if it uses the Wiimote's motion sensing). What we'd like to bring up is this line from the press release: "Just like a real family, choose your character from a cast of four, which includes Daddy, Mommy, Sarah and Billy." What sort of Cold War-era ethics are you trying to impose on our families, Nintendo? Even more sinister is the release's insistence that the game includes "four table tennis-tastic stages." Table tennis-tastic? We don't care what anyone tells you, that collection of words and punctuation means nothing.
Critter Round Up and Star Soldier R hit WiiWare today
Did you think that WiiWare was done after one week? No such luck, nephew, the WiiWare is getting weekly updates, just like its older brother, the Virtual Console. Here's what's arriving this week:Star Soldier R (Hudson Entertainment, 1 player, 800 Wii Points): Think of it as Star Soldier: Championship Edition. With its two- and five-minute time attack modes, this top-down shooter is all about trying to get the highest score in the shortest time. Just be aware that that's the whole enchilada. So if time attacks don't appeal to you, don't go in expecting story mode.Critter Round-Up (Konami, 1-4 players, 1,000 points): We know how awesome the name of new WiiWare release Critter Round-Up is, but before you rush out and download it, we thought a quick look at the description might be wise. "The critters have escaped, and the barnyard is in chaos! It's up to you to quickly corral the animals in this puzzle-action challenge. You'll have to mend fences in a hurry to keep all the critters safe and satisfied. ... So roll up those sleeves and grab a friend-those critters won't catch themselves." ... We know. Doubly awesome.
