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Star Wars Galaxies: Dr. Fool strikes back
Toys turning tables on Imperials and Rebels alike? It may sound like a bad joke, but Star Wars Galaxies has never seen such dire straits. The elusive and diabolical Dr. Fool (who has a Ph.D. in Evil Medicine) has returned once more to unleash his fiendish toys on the residents of Tatooine, Naboo, Lok, Corellia, and Endor. These high-level toys -- some resembling miniature AT-ATs -- should be treated as hostile on sight and taken down without prejudice. Of course, for this April Fool's event, players are to be rewarded for their diligence. SOE is tempting all SWG fighters and lovers to disable the toys with a special title: "Toy Recaller." This title can only be achieved on April 1st by taking down the malfunctioning toys before the stroke of midnight PDT. Wookiepedia has more information on this toy rampage, which coincidentally also happened a year ago to the day. You can also read the aftermath of the 2009 event on SWG's forums.
Celebrate a tricksy halfling for April Fool's Day in EQII
If there's anything we know for sure about halfings, it's their love of devious tricks. The Norrathian god Bristlebane is no exception, being the deity of pranks, foolishness, and lighthearted deception. So when April Fools Day comes around and Bristlebane's power is at its yearly peak, expect all of Norrath to fall for his hysterical tricks! This year's Bristlebane Day is going to be filled with festivities, pranks, and even a few new items for you to add to your inventory! While the yearly mainstay quests have returned (like Ratical, The Impossibly Rare Objects, and Gigglegibber Scavenger Hunt) a new quest has appeared in the Enchanted Lands! This quest will only be available on April 1st, in addition to some "other" festivities that will appear in the zone on that day as well. Play your cards right, and you might just be the owner of The World's Worst Colored Armor Set (TM)! Exciting? We think so.
Pandaren in the World of Warcraft
In among all of the "omg fake pets for real money" drama from this week's announcement, we may have missed something big: the Pandaren are now live in the World of Warcraft. The Pandaren are my favorite Azerothian race, even though they're essentially a joke -- Samwise Didier just loves pandas, and he made art for an April Fool's joke that Chris Metzen loved so much they decided to include the bears as real characters in Warcraft III. Since then, they've become fan favorites (not least of all, especially for me, because alcohol and ale are a big part of their culture), but we've only seen hints of them in World of Warcraft. There was a rumor going around a while back that they would never appear in the game because China didn't allow depictions of violence against the bears, but that was just a rumor. Still, the Pandaren have existed in WoW only as a Blizzard in-joke. We assume they're out there somewhere, but until now, no one has ever seen one. Of course we say "until now" because there are now little Pandaren monk noncombat pets running around, bowing, and doing magical kung-fu. Does this mean that the future Emerald Dream expansion will have us all playing as Brewmasters? While yes that would be awesome, not so fast again: Diablo and the Zergling from Starcraft are both in the game as noncombat pets, and they don't mean anything at all (although they were both included in the game before the announcements of Diablo 3 and Starcraft 2 -- maybe Blizzard is working on a Pandaren-based puzzle game? Conspiracy theorists, assemble!). And just because we all have Grunty doesn't mean murlocs are suddenly going to take to spaceships with battle rifles in the official lore. But it's cool to see Pandaren actually in the game, even in pet form, and who knows, maybe we will one day find the legendary realm of Pandaria in our own version of Azeroth.
Patch 3.2.2 PTR: Pandaren and Lil' K.T. pets revealed in latest build
Like Diablo's Cow Level, the Pandaren have almost mythic status within World of Warcraft since that memorable and almost plausible April Fool's Day prank. Blizzard has paid homage to that by tucking a pet Pandaren Monk into the latest build (10371) of patch 3.2.2 which has just gone live on the PTR.Boubouille over at MMO Champion has once again been rooting around the patch files and he came across the first model of the aforementioned pet. Isn't he cute? Heavy on the Chinese aethetics, we have no idea how you'll be able to get this little guy. While datamining, Boubouille also discovered another hitherto unmentioned pet, Lil' K.T.. Yes, you too can have your own pocket-sized Kel'Thuzad, a tiny trophy-sized lich to call your very own! Again, we're not sure how you get one. Here's hoping he drops off his full-sized self in Naxx but who knows? For now we just have a spell note in the files And as a note, please remember that Pandarens are not a playable race, nor is this an indication they will ever be added to WoW. 2n - 1 go left, 2n go right. I don't see enough DoTs! More DoTs now! Are you ready for the return of Onyxia? With the Brood Mother being revitalized as a 10 and 25 person raid, you'll need to be sure you know everything that's coming at you. WoW.com's Guide to Patch 3.2.2 will make sure your set for the next patch!
WoW Insider Show live today at 3:30pm Eastern
Oh yes, the official podcast of WoW Insider is back on the air today at 3:30pm Eastern (which is April 4, 2009 3:30 PM EDT var date_span = document.getElementById("date"); var date = new Date(date_span.innerHTML); var monthname=new Array("Jan","Feb","Mar","Apr","May","Jun","Jul","Aug", "Sep","Oct","Nov","Dec"); var weekday=new Array("Sunday","Monday","Tuesday","Wednesday","Thursday", "Friday","Saturday"); var year = date.getFullYear(); var day_of_month = date.getDate(); var month = monthname[date.getMonth()]; var day = weekday[date.getDay()]; var hour = date.getHours(); if (hour > 11) { if (hour > 12) {hour -= 12} am_pm = "PM"; } else { am_pm = "AM"; } var minute = date.getMinutes(); if (minute < 10) { minute = "0"+minute; } date_string = day + ", " + month + " " + day_of_month; date_string += " at " + hour + ":" + minute + " " + am_pm; offset = -date.getTimezoneOffset()/60; if (offset >= 0) { offset = "+"+offset; } date_string += " in your time zone (GMT"+offset+")"; date_span.innerHTML = (date_string); -- like what we did there?), and it's going to be a blast. Not only will Turpster be on with us, and I believe Michael "Belfaire" Sacco should also be in attendance, but we're welcoming one of the newest writers on WoW Insider, Mr. Nick Whelan. Nick originally wrote about Warlocks at his blog, Curse of Senility (and still does), but we've recently recruited him to start writing our Blood Pact column, and so today on the show we'll be talking Warlocks: where they are now, where they'll be in 3.1, and where they want to be in general. And we'll also talk about all the most popular posts for the past week, including the April Fools news, the latest on the next big content patch, and where 25-man gear should sit in relation to the 10-man loot.And of course we'll answer your emails, which you can still send to us at theshow@wow.com. Should be fun. Tune in over on the Ustream page (or just in the second half of this post -- you'll find an embed there) at the time listed above this afternoon, and sit back and let the soothing sounds of WoW Insider raid your ears like so many groups through Naxx. The only epic loot we drop... is knowledge.
April Fools 2009 Roundup
April Fools.I like it and I don't.It can sometimes be hard to distinguish between real news and fake news, especially with some of the elaborate schemes people do in order to make the fake stuff seem as real as possible. And there's a lot of it too. Google and Blizzard win the day, as usual. C.A.D.I.E anyone? The page is a throwback to the 1990s Geocities pages many of us made back then. My Geocities site had to do with Star Trek and lots of other nerdy stuff, although someone on staff had a Digimon site (I'm not telling who...).After the break you can check out our list of all the April Fools jokes that went on yesterday that pertained to WoW. And for posterity's sake we've taken as many snapshots of the pages as we could and put them in a nice gallery so 10 years from now we can all look back and go "Aww... isn't that... /facepalm."%Gallery-49097%
Breakfast Topic: Missing features
April Fools' Day came and went, and as expected, a lot of jokes popped up all over the 'Net. Of course, among the jokes we looked forward to (or dreaded, as some of you curmudgeons ranted yesterday) were the World of Warcraft-related jokes. However you might feel about April Fools', I think we all eagerly awaited Blizzard's April Fools' gag, a long-standing tradition. The European World of Warcraft site had theirs -- a Pimp my mount feature -- launch earlier than the North American gag, an RP-ization of the forums and the new Dance Battle System. Not bad, but definitely not their best prank.Actually, the Dance Battle System was less funny to me if only because it reminded me of the one promised feature they still haven't delivered on. Remember the dance studios that were supposed to come with Wrath of the Lich King? They pruned that feature away even before Beta, but it doesn't mean we've forgotten all about it. In fact, this latest gag might've been Blizzard's way of poking fun at themselves for failing to deliver on their promise.
April Fools: StarCraft II's Terran base is more than meets the eye
It's the biggest StarCraft II announcement since the game itself -- and would make Michael Bay proud. Blizzard today unveiled the largest unit to date in its RTS franchise: the Terran Terra-Tron. This hulking bipedal war machine is actually built from the combined pieces of an entire Terran base. The base "transforms," if you will.As if its sheer mass and weapons load-out weren't enough to intimidate Zerg and Protoss adversaries, the thing speaks. Phrases such as, "Hell, it's transformin' time" and "Terra-Tron, terrorize!" should turn any rush into a retreat. Blizzard has videos of the Terra-Tron doing big things on the game's official site -- but hurry, it might be gone come April 2.[Via BigDownload]
April Fools: Chains of Olympus contains hidden 'Cube of War' mode
Hot off its "Best Handheld Game" win at the 2009 Game Developer Choice Awards, Ready at Dawn has divulged the existence of a previously undiscovered mode within God of War: Chains of Olympus. Called "Cube of War," it allows players to take on the game's menagerie of murderous malcontents as ... an Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube.RAD isn't saying how the deal to get the Cube in the game -- and out of Portal -- was struck, but it does have instructions on unlocking this tasty (like cake) triumph: "if you finish Chains of Olympus in god mode, no upgrades, and collect all the urns of power twice without dying you open up the companion cube as a hidden character." If you can muster that, we'd consider it a huge success. If you can't, at least watch what you're missing after the break.
April Fools: Helghast find love in Lovezone
Killzone isn't just about death and destruction. No, the Helghan world is just like our own, with stories of peril, triumph ... and love. Black20, in collaboration with IGN, have created a trailer for a fictional romance set in the Killzone universe. "Lovezone" tells the touching story of how two Helghast can meet on the battlefield, and the struggles they must overcome to realize their love. Check it out after the break. [Thanks, Jay!]
April Fools: id reveals World of Quake Live
Imagine our surprise today when we tried to log into Quake Live for our usual 10 a.m. session of noob-fraggin' therapy, only to discover the image above. id has decided to do away with rocket jumping and replace it with epic mount riding, as it has revealed World of Quake Live. Much like the game of a similar name, this title promises epic mounts with up to four weapon slots (you can stack them with four BFGs!), as well as a new leveling system. Oh, and Aspir from Ludicrous Speed calls this the "best game evar." You should listen. Dude totally knows what he's talking about.
TUAW 2016
Good afternoon, and welcome to your daily brainload from TUAW, a division of Weblogs, Inc. owned by Comcast Online. Please make sure the neural connector is clicked in all the way, and then think "Start" when you are ready.Steve Jobs returns to Apple's Board of Directors after stint at GMSteve Jobs announced his return to Apple today after a government-mandated stint as CEO of General Motors. Obama White House spokesperson Ruth Christopher stated that since Jobs had saved the American auto company with the introduction of the extremely popular flyCar, he could return to his usual duties. Apple executives released a statement saying they were "overjoyed" to have Jobs back on the job.New MacBooks and Mac mini appear on Apple Store siteApple has quietly updated its legacy line of personal computers, adding exabyte molecular hard drives and gigacore nanoprocessors without raising the prices. Fans, unfortunately, were unimpressed with the updates -- "my implants can move faster than that," John Gruber transmitted to his brainload feed, along with a TwitFeeling of disappointment and anger. But Apple defended the updates, stating that the new computers were "perfect for the older member of your family who still need their hardware in the box, rather than out of it." Anyone who has purchased one of the older units in the past six months (if there are any of you out there still buying hardware) can be eligible for an exchange at any Apple center.MobileMe announces record number of subscribersOver three billion people have subscribed to Apple's MobileMe service since its reintroduction two years ago, according to a new study transmitted by analysts NPD. Apparently people love the fact that they no longer have to carry an iPhone, a laptop, or any hardware at all, as MobileMe now works directly with tiny processors implanted into your head to bring you brainloads, news, TwitFeelings, and the Webview over the cloud directly into your visual and memory cortexes."People really love not having to deal with devices or pesky buttons," said an NPD analyst. "MobileMe allows them to connect directly into the ethersphere, leaving them open to do or think or feel anything while anywhere." The price of the system was also lauded as one of the reasons it's so popular. Apparently after the big economic meltdown in 2010, Apple's customers are thrilled to get a full-service communication package for just over a billion dollars a year. "MobileMe has never been so worth it," said longtime user Dave Caolo.Apple announces event next Tuesday: "Go ahead. Take a guess, suckers."Press outlets around the brainsphere have recieved invites from Apple for an event next Tuesday in Chicago's Willis Tower (up until two years ago, events like this were held in San Franscisco at the Moscone Center, but of course the unfortunate earthquakes and flooding in 2014 mean that all of California is currently underwater). Rumors are flying about what might be announced at the event, but Apple hasn't given any indication of what there might be -- in fact, the invite itself features a question mark, and the text: "Take a guess, suckers. You still haven't gotten it right."Most brainloaders have speculated that the event may finally feature the debut of the long-awaited iTablet, or maybe, finally, the reveal of The Beatles unenhanced audio recordings into the iCollective. Either way, TUAW won't be there: we still haven't gotten an invite. But we will, as usual, be providing Mike Schramm's unfiltered thoughts on the event live as it happens. Remember to make sure your children are unplugged at the time.
April Fools: Awesome handheld Witcher teased
CD Projekt RED, developer of The Witcher, and self-proclaimed "world's leading developer of games with 'The Witcher' in their title," announced the next title in its portfolio today. Currently in development for "all current-gen, next-gen and gen-after-next-gen handheld systems," The Witcher: Mysterious Secrets looks to marry the world of The Witcher with 8-bit processing power, 32-colors (though "half of the colours are not visible because the platform supports only 16 colours") and in a first for the Witcher franchise, downloadable content. Though little is known about the DLC as of yet, the company has already taken a firm stance on it, saying, "Yeah, DLC on a handheld. You wanna fight about it?"The game certainly sounds ... ambitious ... but the development team seems vigilant when they say in the developer diary (after the break), "We all realize that handhelds are far more powerful than PCs and consoles all put together, but thanks to this move, we'll be able to break through all the barriers we've encountered so far." We'll keep you updated as we near the game's release window, currently slated for "between Tuesday and Friday 2010."
April Fools: Bungie introduces BUNGLE, blows up your mind
Bungie takes the tournament scene seriously. How seriously? Enough to develop its own gaming league focusing on the niche shooter, Halo 3. How niche is it? It only sold a few million copies and there are a lot of people in the world. How many people? Stop asking so many questions. Google it, we don't know.Bungie's new venture, the Bungie Ultimate Ninja Gaming League Extreme is poised to set the world on fire. Those brave enough to walk out of their mother's basement and into the fog of war are free to sign up now. A word of warning, though: You may want to practice your skill on any of the BUNGLE-approved maps -- designed by Bungie, creator of BUNGLE (and developer of Halo 3).So, finish off your lunch burrito, wipe the shm?tz from your face and get ready to re-begin the fight you previously thought had been finished. BUNGLE is here and it's gonna tear you a new one.
April Fools: Behold! Diablo III's Archivist
Forget the pen being mightier than the sword. A single "shush" uttered from the lips of the Archivist packs enough punch to burst the guts of Sanctuary's most disorderly beasts. The fourth of five Diablo III character classes was revealed today, in historic fashion. So saith the annals of Abd al-Hazir: "These brave souls wade into battle wielding tome and quill, armored not in ensorcelled plate or links of chain, but in the knowledge of generations past. These archivists fight not only for our future, but for our past as well." The Archivist schools evil with such learned powers as the Lorenado and Quest Bolt, complimented by witty dialogue tree choices like "I've dropped knowledge" and "Test me and I will chronicle your pain." Man, somebody please point us to the library where this guy got his game![Thanks, Luis]
Public Service Announcement: WIM's modem sounds are a joke
We're going to cover all the April Fools jokes from around the WoW community tomorrow (after they're over so we're sure we don't miss too many), but I wanted to take a moment to give a PSA about the WoW Instant Messenger add-on.When you log into the game today, and if you're updated to the latest version, you'll hear a modem sound ring across your speakers. This is a joke, this is only a joke, and you have no need to be alarmed. We've gotten many tips in about this, mainly people thinking that it's the Confiker virus which was supposed to start today. Well, it's not. And from the look of things Confiker is bust too (at least for now). So you're safe and okay, and can be angry that you've been had by an add-on author. Or just laugh about it, which is what I've done.The author has even come out and said this is a joke, and is offering an apology to anyone upset by this.
April Fools: Wii Fit Balance Board gag
As if convincing more people to buy Wii Fit than Halo 3 wasn't a big enough gag already, it looks like Nintendo's Balance Board has yet another yuk up its sleeve. If it had sleeves, anyway. Those who fire up Wii Fit today will be greeted with the April Fools' Day joke featured in the video above."Joke" might be too strong a word, actually. It's not really ha-ha funny so much as it's "Mom-would-like-this" funny. Of course, given Wii Fit's demographic, that might be the point ...
April Fools: Alpine Legend makes us yodel with joy
Though many different rhythm titles featuring nearly every imaginable genre of music have been released, we've yet to get our hands on anything that caters to our ... peculiar melodic desires. Thankfully, developer Snowy Top Productions will finally fulfill our falsetto fancy with their upcoming 360-exclusive yodel simulator, Alpine Legend. We've got the debut trailer posted after the break, but to learn about the game's intriguing mountain goat expansion, you'll need to go to the official site.We actually got our hands on this bad boy at GDC, but haven't been able to discuss it due to an embargo. We understand your skepticism, but trust us, once you're blazing through "Ricola" on Expert, you'll be filled with a sense of righteous badassitude that you've never experienced before.[Thanks, ugotamesij!]
April Fools' Day 09: Second Life users pull the other one
April Fools' Day is quite the hodge-podge in Second Life. Linden Lab doesn't generally pull pranks on the user-population (some may disagree with us on that) but there are hordes of different groups and communities, and even a relatively low percentage of hoaxers lead to literally hundreds of hoaxes, almost all of which are spread by word-of-mouth. We'll quickly round up some of the most common gags that are going around this year (a few of which are perennials). Linden Lab is going back to charging for teleportation (the sum of L$1 per teleport). This one's formatted as a press-release, though the grammar is quirky enough to be a tip-off. Besides, this one came around the last two years as well. Linden Lab has been purchased outright by [Microsoft/Activision-Blizzard/Electric Sheep/7-11/NCsoft/AOL/Worlds.com/IBM].
April Fools: Jack Thompson wants government to legalize gamer murder
You may think he's a stick in the mud, but Jack Thompson does have a sense of humor. Want proof? Hot on the news of a slaying that may be connected to GTA, JT wrote us to say: "This is a switch, as it is typically the chronic players of these murder simulators that kill people - lots of people. In light of this new and welcome development, Miami anti-violent video game activist today puts forth a modest proposal to curtail sales of the Grand Theft Auto video games: Anyone who shoots and kills a player of the Grand Theft Auto video games gets a) a full pardon and b) a $5000 federal income tax credit because of the killer's successful efforts to reduce pollution."A hilarious call for mass murder in the wake of an actual tragedy and a classic literature reference? Be still our hearts.
