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Guildwatch: Confessions of the guilty
Diemm, in this excerpt from a long trade chat screenshot (which you can see in this week's column below), confesses right away to ninja'ing a guild bank -- he was brought into a guild by a merge, and decided he'd rather take everything in the bank than be a part of the guild. As despicable as it is, his honesty is quite refreshing. We have a confession, too: last week's Guild "Goodness" was just an April Fool's joke. In fact, here's the scary part: Jalabharxo, in the intro, who asked for help and actually got it? That's my character. And that was actually the third time I asked a trade chat nicely before I got a clean screenshot I could post -- the other two times, I got made fun of.So it seems that drama is the norm. Not that there isn't goodness to post -- if you hear of any, let us know, and we'll fit it in. But for now, if you hear about guild drama or downings, feel free to send them to us at wowguildwatch@gmail.com. A few quick notes this week: we are no longer posting about Vault of Archavon ninjas because a) there's just too many of them, and b) they often have nothing to do with guilds, and this column is about guild drama, not PuGs. Also, we are way, way backlogged on guild recruitment -- apparently everybody and their guild is recruiting new players. We'll spotlight guilds as we can, but we've got way more coming in than we can post for now. Sorry if your guild got missed, hopefully you'll find the people you need. This week's GW is right after the break.
Fan-made Draenei Barbie
Reader Amanda S sent us this picture of a Draenei Barbie (that is a Draenei, right? Not a Night Elf? Oh yeah -- check the hooves) she says she and a friend made when they were bored. It's not the most involved craft we've ever seen, but it looks pretty good and it's an interesting idea: make Warcraft characters out of existing dolls, rather than completely from scratch. GI Joe would probably be perfect for putting together a figure of the new King Wrynn. But we do like the dress and the shoulders -- nice job. Whenever Blizzard figures out how to do player housing, we can put her in a dream house as well.Got a WoW-related craft that you'd like to share? We'd love to see it -- send us a tip through the tipline and we'll check it out.
TUAW 2016
Good afternoon, and welcome to your daily brainload from TUAW, a division of Weblogs, Inc. owned by Comcast Online. Please make sure the neural connector is clicked in all the way, and then think "Start" when you are ready.Steve Jobs returns to Apple's Board of Directors after stint at GMSteve Jobs announced his return to Apple today after a government-mandated stint as CEO of General Motors. Obama White House spokesperson Ruth Christopher stated that since Jobs had saved the American auto company with the introduction of the extremely popular flyCar, he could return to his usual duties. Apple executives released a statement saying they were "overjoyed" to have Jobs back on the job.New MacBooks and Mac mini appear on Apple Store siteApple has quietly updated its legacy line of personal computers, adding exabyte molecular hard drives and gigacore nanoprocessors without raising the prices. Fans, unfortunately, were unimpressed with the updates -- "my implants can move faster than that," John Gruber transmitted to his brainload feed, along with a TwitFeeling of disappointment and anger. But Apple defended the updates, stating that the new computers were "perfect for the older member of your family who still need their hardware in the box, rather than out of it." Anyone who has purchased one of the older units in the past six months (if there are any of you out there still buying hardware) can be eligible for an exchange at any Apple center.MobileMe announces record number of subscribersOver three billion people have subscribed to Apple's MobileMe service since its reintroduction two years ago, according to a new study transmitted by analysts NPD. Apparently people love the fact that they no longer have to carry an iPhone, a laptop, or any hardware at all, as MobileMe now works directly with tiny processors implanted into your head to bring you brainloads, news, TwitFeelings, and the Webview over the cloud directly into your visual and memory cortexes."People really love not having to deal with devices or pesky buttons," said an NPD analyst. "MobileMe allows them to connect directly into the ethersphere, leaving them open to do or think or feel anything while anywhere." The price of the system was also lauded as one of the reasons it's so popular. Apparently after the big economic meltdown in 2010, Apple's customers are thrilled to get a full-service communication package for just over a billion dollars a year. "MobileMe has never been so worth it," said longtime user Dave Caolo.Apple announces event next Tuesday: "Go ahead. Take a guess, suckers."Press outlets around the brainsphere have recieved invites from Apple for an event next Tuesday in Chicago's Willis Tower (up until two years ago, events like this were held in San Franscisco at the Moscone Center, but of course the unfortunate earthquakes and flooding in 2014 mean that all of California is currently underwater). Rumors are flying about what might be announced at the event, but Apple hasn't given any indication of what there might be -- in fact, the invite itself features a question mark, and the text: "Take a guess, suckers. You still haven't gotten it right."Most brainloaders have speculated that the event may finally feature the debut of the long-awaited iTablet, or maybe, finally, the reveal of The Beatles unenhanced audio recordings into the iCollective. Either way, TUAW won't be there: we still haven't gotten an invite. But we will, as usual, be providing Mike Schramm's unfiltered thoughts on the event live as it happens. Remember to make sure your children are unplugged at the time.
The forums have been RP'd
Blizzard has made a nice cinematic tweak to the forums today -- as you can see in this impassioned Engineering QQ thread, they've added a little bit of font flavor and some roleplaying text to everyone's posts. Instead of just whining about Engineers, "Aurainsoph's brow furrowed in concentration" before speaking, and after every paragraph, we get a much clearer picture of what our characters are doing, whether that be "putting on her robe and wizard's hat" (yuk yuk yuk) or "liberally applied his custom fragrance, which was made with bits of real nightsaber." Wait -- eww.And every post ends with a nice RP finish as well, most of them more silly than dramatic. All in all, it's very well done -- not only are there lots of different combinations, but the syntax works, and each post really does read like some bad fanfiction. Players seem to really enjoy it, even though their hair was a bird, and they found their point to be invalid. Whatever that means.I like this one more than the Pimp Your Mount joke, actually. Well done Blizzard.Update: Apparently the RP forums have gotten a special change of their own lol. I lol'ed IRL. Does Blizzard really think the rest of the forums talks like that? lulz.
The Daily Grind: Pranks, busted
Afraid of April Fool's day? Concerned that every single site out there on the web will be spewing forth stuff you can't trust? Have no fear, folks - the Massively team is here! Our leaders have decided that much like last year, today we will use our powers for good. Rather than pranking our readership, we'll work along with you all to hunt down and chronicle any MMO pranks going on out there. Of course, if there's any real news that does somehow land out there today, we'll be sure to report that as well. If you'd like to join the team for today's Prankbusting efforts, all you have to do is leave a comment here with any MMO game or site pranks you run across. That way we all have the chance to either check them out - or know to avoid them. We'll also be running down things going on in different MMOs so those who don't have subscriptions can still check out the silliness each MMO has to offer.
WoW Insider Show Episode 82: Knock it off? Get it on!
Hoo boy, what a show at our podcast on Saturday. After one of the craziest starts our show has ever had (BRK's house decided to go a little nuts right before we started), we got as professional as we could and got down to business. After answering emails (including more on why you should listen to your mother), we talked about the addon changes and how they'll affect players and developers, Blizzard's plans for a mobile authenticator, and more of the latest news out of patch 3.1. We also brainstormed new flavors for Mountain Dew, and finally, we played what everyone was waiting to hear: Turpster's new WoW Insider song.Yes, because our fans were kind enough to get 4,000 people to join in on our Facebook page, we recorded that abomination of hilarity. You can download it as an mp3 right here, for use in remixes or machinima or whatever you want to do with it, and I've posted the lyrics and liner notes after the break. Enjoy.And don't forget we're currently in a campaign for OVER 9000 Twitter followers. Join up to Twitter and follow us, and please tell your guilds and friends to do the same -- if we can meet our goal there, we'll do a live video version of the podcast that you'll be able to see right here on the site. Enjoy the show as always, and we'll see you next week.Get the podcast:[iTunes] Subscribe to the WoW Insider Show directly in iTunes.[RSS] Add the WoW Insider Show to your RSS aggregator.[MP3] Download the MP3 directly.Listen here on the page:
Breakfast Topic: To talk or not to talk on Ventrilo
I like Ambrosyne's Vent chart, even if it is a little harsh. It's true, when you're not part of the raid leadership (and especially when you're a talker like me), it's sometimes a little hard to tell whether it's ok to try and crack a joke in the middle of the raid on Vent or not. Usually: no. I've learned the same thing by my own experience -- no matter how easy the fights are or how your guild is doing, the raidleader probably won't appreciate you trying to play some "Safety Dance" over Vent during Heigan's dance-off.However, in my experience, there usually is a place for joking during raids, and it's the guild chat channel. Actually, that's where I do most of my communicating -- I leave the Vent chat open for raidleaders to address the whole raid with the actually important stuff, and the rest of us hang around in the peanut gallery of raid chat, grats'ing each other on good loot and slipping in some commentary for the raid. You've got to have fun, right?Raidleaders, are there any good times to open up Vent and let everybody talk? And everybody else: have there been problems in your raids thanks to an unwanted Vent outburst, or does your guild pretty much understand that silence is golden?
The Daily Grind: Your favorite MMO pop culture reference?
It seems like no matter which way you turn in many MMOs, you'll eventually find a pop-culture reference nestled in there somewhere. While World of Warcraft may be perhaps the most blunt about using them with quests named after things as varied as a Peter Murphy song and a Kevin Smith movie, we know they're by no means the only designers who have added references. This morning, we thought we'd ask you what some of your favorite MMO pop culture references are? Have you ever run across one that just made you stop and laugh? Shake your head? Anything you think is a pop-culture reference but perhaps aren't quite sure?
WoW Insider Show Episode 78: Thrusting Hodir's shoot 'em up aces high
It was chaos on the WoW Insider Show this past week -- we had Zach Yonzon on from the Philippines, Turpster in from England, and Michael Sacco from Austin, TX, so we were stretched across the world (and you can probably hear it in our audio). But we still got some good WoW discussion in, including our favorite daily quests (I've done Shoot 'Em Up every day since we recorded this, and I still really like it), a little bit about Ulduar and what we might find in there, and the coming PTR and what we might see there as well.Plus, as scrambled and confusing as this show may be, it has probably the funniest moment in my memory of all our recordings -- I think we were all pretty much "ROFL" at the new Meat of the Show intro, as they say on the Internet. If you want to send in an intro, a comment, or anything else, feel free to send it along to theshow@wow.com, and you might even hear it on the next recording, next Saturday at 3:30 Eastern as usual.Enjoy. We'll see you next week.Get the podcast:[iTunes] Subscribe to the WoW Insider Show directly in iTunes.[Ustream] Listen to the unedited recording in Ustream.[RSS] Add the WoW Insider Show to your RSS aggregator.[MP3] Download the MP3 directly.Listen here on the page:
The Daily Grind: Your funniest chat moment?
There's funny going on in MMOs all the time; from trade chat to party or raid chat, to private whispers. Sometimes it's a question of a group or raid member writing in the wrong channel - the classic mis-tell. At other times, it's just a joke about your favorite MMO that one of your guildies told you. That said, this morning we'd love to hear some of the funniest chat moments you've experienced. (Bonus points if you screencapped it and happen to have it somewhere out there that the rest of us can read it!) We know we're not the only ones who have seen some things that just made us stop and laugh.
WoW Moviewatch: Keep Browsing 2
Warning: The language in this movie is not safe for work.Today on Moviewatch, we take a look at the second piece from MozQ -- his first, Keep Browsing, was a fun little pastiche of geeky clips and fast cuts, and this one is more of the same. The animation has improved a little bit (the effects in the first few scenes with the gnome are done pretty well), but the humor stays about the same, so if you enjoyed the first one, you'll like this one, too.Between then and now, he's joined up with a group called Silverlined Productions, so we'll expect to see more from MozQ and his compatriots. Their blog says they've hooked up with a music director to make music for them, so keep your ears open for some original music in future productions.If you have any suggestions for WoW Moviewatch, you can mail them to us at machinima AT wowinsider DOT com.Previously on Moviewatch ..
Make a video with Cat Piano, win a DS
It's probably time for me to lay off of Smule -- I've said that their Ocarina app might be the silliest musical app in the App Store, but we have a new winner: Cat Piano is just plain loony: a piano made up of cats meowing, like those old Christmas recordings, but playable. There are a few different cat sounds to play (from "Furball" to "Housecat"), and even a regular piano if you just want to tickle the ivories a little bit. Most of the reviews on the App Store say people are using it to mess with their cats, but there's definitely a musical instrument here -- if Ocarina can be used as an instrument, the Cat Piano can, too.And in fact, the developers are challenging you to prove it -- they're giving away a Nintendo DS (interesting choice of prizes -- an iPod touch might be more apt) to the person who makes the best video using Cat Piano. I don't know if you could beat that Jingle Cats video, but you can certainly try. The contest starts on Thursday, and goes until March 20th, so you've got a little over a month to get the cat sounds down.Ocarina, you'll remember, also turned out some watchable videos, so we're interested to see what comes out of this contest.
Breakfast Topic: Most embarrassing thing you've ever done in WoW?
After the clamor the other day, the WoW Insider virtual offices broke into quite a bit of punnery. You wouldn't believe the clam-itous amount of punishment we underwent. It was a clam-ity. Of course, this sparked off a discussion on what is funniest in WoW, which turned into the most embarrassing thing that was ever done, which we thought sounded like a good breakfast topic. For me, amusingly enough, my most embarrassing moment actually had to do with a clam. We were in UBRS (back when UBRS was still hard and let you run 15-man groups) and one of our warriors got bugged while looting. While it's fun to watch someone scoot around in the looting position, it's not too good when it's your main tank. At the time the only real way to get out of the glitch was to carry a clam with you, open it and close it without looting. Being the only female in the raid - and not even thinking about it first - I cheerfully offered to give our main tank the clam I carried with me since he was grumping about being stuck.
iPod tossed 154 yards by an Olympic thrower
Roald Bradstock is a champion javelin thrower, but lately he's been throwing more than that, including an egg, a golf ball, and a soccer ball. You know when people start breaking random things in creative ways, an Apple product will show up. Sure enough, in the video above (turn the sound down, the wind noise is horrendous), Roald tosses an iPod a football field and a half.There's no reason why he should do this, but it looks like Apple expected this might happen some day -- despite a mess of mud and grass, the iPod is apparently no worse for the wear. You might say it's silly, you might say it's not impressive, but then again: could you do it?And if you do, could you post it on YouTube, too?[via Macenstein]
iBreathalyzer is, yes, a breathalyzer for your iPod
It's late Friday night, you're stepping out of the bar into the cold after a few drinks, and as you head towards the car, you stop, realizing that it might not be the right time to drive. But how can you know for sure? Simple -- you just pull out your iPod. Because the iPod hasn't had enough random things attached to it, there's the iBreath, a breathalyzer that connects to the bottom of your iPod or iPhone and will not only tell you what your BAC is, but transmit your iPod's audio to your FM radio as well.You've gotta be kidding us. Not only should you never drive after drinking, as even legal levels can be dangerous, but even if you just want to know your BAC you can buy a regular breathalyzer for a lot less than the $80 this one costs, and you don't even need an iPod to connect it to.But we'll give these guys their credit -- of all the things you can attach to an iPod, this one might be the strangest.
One Shots: Quick! Before we melt!
As some have noticed, the Smokywood Pastures goblins appear to be ramping up for the Feast of Winter Veil in World of Warcraft. Among the many things you can get as part of your treats is a snowman costume like in the above screenshot, sent in to One Shots by Veng, who plays an (ultra-rare) female Orc Warrior on the Lothar server. Of course, when you couple the costume with running an instance like oldschool World of Warcraft 40-man raid favorite, Molten Core, things can get pretty interesting. This year we suspect we'll see a few more situations like this as players not only gobble up those Smokywood Pastures goods and chase their old world raid achievements. (Ragnaros is one of the boss kills that didn't retroactively credit in the new achievement system.) And hey - don't forget to bring your Eternal Quintessence, even if you are a snowman!Have you got an old-school screenshot from back in the day that you'd like to show off? Perhaps some type of holiday screenshot from last year's (or earlier) holiday events you can share with us? Whatever MMO you love to play, send those screenshots to us here at oneshots AT massively DOT com along with your name and a quick description. (Server and guild welcome too - even a holiday greeting for your guildies!) We'll post it out here and share the love. %Gallery-9798%
Bat boy steals Wrath
Bat Boy, everyone's favorite tabloid freak, has gotten in on the Wrath of the Lich King fervor -- unfortunately, he's too young (and creepy) to actually earn money, so instead he reportedly (reported by the Weekly World News, of course, your number one source for Bat Boy news) scared a Warcraft fan, causing him to drop his copy, and sending Bat Boy off to Northrend to level up to 80 with the rest of us. You can add "stealing the expansion" to the list of crimes Bat Boy's already perpetrated.Bat Boy could not be reached for comment for this story, which is too bad -- we really wanted to know what class the West Virginia legend plays (is that an Undead Warlock on the screen? And why doesn't he have any skills on his action bars?), and whether he started in Howling Fjord or Borean Tundra.Thanks, JPM!
The Wrath unboxing and installation experience
Your copy hasn't shown up yet? We've got two ways for you to pretend you've actually gotten the game, even if you're stuck at work or Amazon hasn't delivered on their shipping. First, up above you can see our Ustream show from last night, featuring a very tired me installing and stepping into Northrend for the very first time. Yes, it's silly, and yes, it's a little wacky without seeing the chat (though I tried to say everything I was asked while we did it), but if you want to see what it's like to set up and run the game, there you go. The second part of the video is after the break -- sorry I didn't stay up to play longer, but you can at least get a good look at the starting Alliance towns in Northrend, and if you stay all the way to the end, I do find the object everyone will be racing for eventually.And our good friends at Massively have documented the event in their own way -- they got their hands on a Collector's Edition, and they've got an unboxing gallery up that you can flip through below. Sure, sure, laugh if you want, but not everyone out there has the expansion yet, and it's our pleasure to try to bring you the experience as vicariously as possible. Enjoy. Gallery: Unboxing the Wrath of the Lich King Collector's Edition
One Shots: We are all puppets of Destruction
Just when we thought we'd seen it all in regards to Warhammer Online, something like today's One Shots comes along and firms up the fact that we've really only scratched the surface in this column. We've heard of some pretty interesting ways to taunt your enemies or amuse your friends, but using puppets in an MMO is one we don't generally see. This screenshot, in from our regular Warhammer Online contributor, Snacky (this time reporting in from the Badlands server), shows off one such confusing and yet funny moment. Snacky writes in: In my downtime while waiting for scenarios to pop, I like to amuse myself and the occasional passerby with a puppet show. We're not entirely convinced they're watching the puppet, Snacky. If you're one of the legion of players who are enjoying Warhammer Online, we'd love to see what you've been up to. Alternately, if WAR just wasn't your thing, and you've gone to another game, don't think we don't want to hear from you -- we do! We want screenshots from all MMOs, big and small. (If your game is small, it's a great way to get some free promotion for it!) Just get your game on, grab some screenshots for us and email them in. Our address is oneshots AT massively DOT com. Don't forget to include your name (server/guiid welcome too) and a quick description. We show it off and give you the credit for sending it in. %Gallery-9798%
WoW Moviewatch: The Grasshappa Chronicles
Happy Hallow's End! Today we bring you a fluffy treat from TRiBViDs called The Grasshappa Chronicles. The most recent installment to the series, Episode 4, is linked above. (Previous episodes are 1, 2, and 3.) These movies are all treat, no trick, like the G.N.E.R.D.S. handed out these days by Innkeepers. A tasty, not too filling, but definitely an enjoyable confection featuring two dudes who pay the price for ripping off intellectual properties in previous episodes. The guys are goofy and have amusing songs running through their heads starring Justin Timberlake and Vanessa Carlton. Oh, and there's also a Hello Kitty reference for good measure.I think we all have some guilty pleasures like this in our movie-watching closets. My favorite guilty pleasures contain ram-a-lama ding-dong, Brando singing, and R.O.U.S.'s in them. I know some of you out there are Goonies freaks. Confess! [Via Machinima.com]If you have any suggestions for WoW Moviewatch, you can mail them to us at machinima AT wowinsider DOT com.
