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One Shots: It's an epidemic!
In our never-ending quest for game news and views, some of the writing staff have been heading out to the four corners of the MMO market. This generally means logging time into games we wouldn't normally play. Much like Eloise, I recently headed into the world of RuneScape, and admittedly found much the same experience with some of the players. Now this isn't to say I didn't like it at all; personally I found the stalkers and beggars downright hilarious. Of course, I also freely admit that I have a weird sense of humor. So today, I share with you the above screenshot I took to show what happened to me literally not 30 seconds after I'd completed the tutorial and landed in the main RuneScape world. "Money plz" he repeated to me about 15 times as I spoke with the kindly old man who was helping me find my first quest. "money need kthx." All the while I was howling with laughter at someone hitting the very obviously just-spawned me up for cash. A quick ignore and I was on my way, but it raises the question -- how do you handle the inevitable beggars and annoyances? Do you give them an earful, or just laugh at them for being so utterly stereotypical?Do you have a story to tell, or a screen to share from the far-off corners of the MMO multiverse? If so, send them to us at oneshots@massively.com. Your image and story could be featured next for us to all enjoy -- or cringe at.
/silly: The dough-based confectionery is a falsehood
I will come right out and say it - it is just plain silly how incredibly under appreciated mages are. I'm not referring to how they are treated on the forums for how much DPS they can dish out or what absurdly high numbers they can crit up to. No, I'm talking about the services that mages do for others on a daily basis. As illustrated in today's comic, they open rifts through the fabric of reality to help you get around quickly and conveniently, and far more amazing then that, they give you food. How can you beat that? Next time you are munching down on a health and mana rejuvenating slice of conjured heaven, take a moment to give some kind words or a hug to your guild's resident chef/chauffeur. Every time you thank a mage, an angel gets its wings. (and then a warlock rips them off and sets them on fire, but that is a fairy tale for another time)This is the first comic Ive done that draws from a source outside of the Warcraft Universe, and I'm hoping that the majority of our readers will "get it" even with the external reference. The way I see it, we WoW players do not live in a gaming vacuum - we are aware of other worlds out there beyond our cherished Azeroth, and possibly even spend time in them ourselves. As always, I will keep a close eye on the comments to gauge how well this little diversion came across. If you like it, you will let me know. If you don't, you will let me know even more verbosely. But hey, at least we have our new comment system so you can all show how much you agree/disagree with each others opinions, and all this feedback will help shape the comics to come. At least, until you all figure out my home address and assemble the lynch mob. Let me just state for the record that I'd hate to be burned at the stake... again.Every Tuesday, Arthur E. "Arturis" Orneck posts another hand drawn snapshot into his demented little mind, because he learned way back in kindergarten that its polite to share, unless what you are trying to share is lycanthropy, vampirism or the T-Virus.
/silly: Void where prohibited
I would assume that the life of a warlock is saturated in paranoia. To start with, it is a well known fact that 'locks play loosely with that whole "morality" concept. Both the Alliance and Horde tend to distrust them, and for good reason; never leave a warlock alone with your virgin daughter if you don't want bloody demonic ritual mess all over your carpet. Worse then that, however, is the unspoken truth that Zahktib or Jhar'kruk or whatever the heck randomly named demon they currently have as their minion is doing so entirely under coercion, and most likely has dark, bitter, perhaps slightly silly revenge thriving in their shadowy demonic minds, as illustrated in the comic above. Special thanks go out to a strategically placed forearm/bracer, preventing me from having to submit the image for ESRB approval or label the post NSFW.As long as we are on the subject of warlock pets, one question has puzzled me from the moment I first saw their big blue gaseous level 10 companions:Why are they called Voidwalkers, when don't have any legs?No no, don't answer. Just ponder it for awhile. Let it rot away a few layers of precious brain cells. You'll thank me for it later, as those specific cells were the ones that were going to spark up next week and convince you that you should re-roll as a Dwarven melee hunter that only uses throwing weapons for ranged pulls. It wouldn't have been a pretty sight.Arthur E. "Arturis" Orneck sold his soul for the honor of drawing this weekly web comic that you partake of each Tuesday morning. The WoW Insider staff went to great expense to have a real-world warlock turn it into a large purple shard, which he gets sent photos of once a week from various exotic locations, much like the gnome from Amelie.
/silly: Can't see the forest for the trees
Clicking the above image will reveal the wondrous enigma that is this week's /silly comic. The inspiration for this comic actually came from one of my guild mates, who has a rather neglected level 70 warrior main trying to find her niche in the endgame world. The complaints I have heard about the strong weaknesses of each of the three warrior trees seemed like ripe pickings for a comic, so I went ahead and paraphrased in the most humorous way I could fashion. From a personal standpoint, I can't really take sides on the issue of where warriors stand compared to the other melee classes. It is well established that my main is a retribution paladin, and on top of that my highest level warrior is only level 23, so I am lacking in the experience to speak authoritatively. Deku, the adorable orc featured today, is only just coming to the point where talents factor into the game. Bonus points to those that know where the name came from, by the way.So I hear there is a patch of some sort today? Did you guys hear anything about that? Man, I wish someone would mention it somewhere...Arthur E. "Arturis" Orneck spends way too much time staring at monitors, whether it is for web development, gaming, or drawing on his tablet PC at odd hours of the morning in order to get this blasted web comic posted on time every Tuesday morning, so that all you fantastic readers have something to stare at while servers are down for maintenance.
/silly: Where everybody knows your name
"Welcome, stranger. Pull up a stool and make yourself at home. Say, you look like you're a bit run down this morning. Tuesday gotchya down? I here ya. But I think I've got just the thing to perk you up. Nothing gets your blood pumping like a stiff shot of /silly. This ones on the house. I told ya last time, your money is no good here."Once again I have pulled from my epic stable of alts to fill a starring role in this week's comic. The legendary Banhammer, level 9 dwarf warrior extraordinaire, is here to get his drink on. Which is what he does best. And most often. Not that I'm insinuating that he has a drinking problem, but he often refuses to enter combat unless he is properly "buffed". And by "buffed", I mean "completely sloshed out of his gourd." It's a time honored dwarven tradition, I hear.It may be the lack of sleep talking, but I'm actually quite happy with the way this comic turned out. I employed a different technique of coloring that I had found in a digital art magazine a few months back, and the results are a lot more clean and professional then I had expected. Perhaps we will see more of this style in the near future - or perhaps I'll switch to drawing stick figures with sidewalk chalk, just to keep you guys on your toes. Expect the unexpected!
/silly: Anything else would be uncivilized
"Ah, there you are. Caught me in the midst of an epic tome, I must say. Please, do have a seat by the fire, and welcome... to Blade Masterpiece Theater. Zug zug, good chap."This week's dose of silly is a nice one panel sight gag that can be considered anything but high brow humor. I am fairly happy with how the shading came out on this one - once again I seem to be in good graces with the patron saint of Corel Painter, and I hope that particular buff doesn't fade any time soon. As always, I am constantly experimenting with the process I use to create these comics. In this particular instance, I left the sketch mostly intact, skipped the inking phase and went straight to coloring. The final results are less "clean" but more pleasing to the eye, I think. More experiments to follow in the coming weeks, I assure you.
/silly: At a slight disadvantage
This week's delayed example of "the silly" features a small PvP skirmish, cut decidedly short in a way that would be technically impossible due to a minor thing called global cool downs, but suspending that tiny fact for a moment allows this minuscule joke to flow a little bit better.I would like to keep an open line of communication between you and I, my blog reading friends, and so I will be completely honest when I say that I'm not at all happy with how this one came out. There *was* supposed to be shading, but it was so botched that I felt it was better to strip the comic back to it's base flat colors in order to get the comic up and mark this one down as a loss. It's a shame, too, as I think the joke itself has a lot of merit if I could only get the art to communicate it a little better. Let's see if I can hit that goal for next week.
/silly: The tension is mounting
You know, this strip is called /silly, and it's the one dedicated place here on WoW Insider where you don't have to worry about the weight of the world (of Warcraft), but I dont think this guy pictured above is enjoying himself in the slightest. If looks could kill, poor Mr. Tauren would probably cause a very slow and painful death to anyone who met his gaze, like being run over by a steamroller or being nibbled to death by ravenous toothless kittens. I can't really blame him for being miserable, though. The WoW Dev Team in the fictional alternate dimension he is stuck in seem to have it out for his entire race. Click the image above to find out what I'm talking about. For those who weren't around during the original Beta, here is a little bit more info about what you missed. Don't worry, we wont hold it against you. (Slacker :P)
Gilbert Arenas admits to Halo score boosting
Washington Wizards basketball star Gilbert Arenas has admitted to boosting ... his Halo score. Arenas confessed to The Washington Post that he has been boosting his Halo rank through fake social matches where he'll end up number one. Arenas says, "It's a glitch in the game. I seen some kids that were like 600s, they won 600 Halo games and we only had that game for two weeks. And all the kids go to school. So I'm like, 'What the hell you all doing?' And they said that's what they doing, two-on-two."Arenas' gamertag profile on Bungie.net tells the boosting tale in great detail. Just to be clear, this is only an artificial boost, since he was manipulating "social" rather than "ranked" matches. His skill rating hasn't improved. Sure, it's silly -- and damn funny -- that the NBA 2K lovin' Arenas (even though he's the NBA Live cover athlete) boosted his Halo score, but at least it shows he cares and worked for his "fake" rank.[Thanks Andrew; via WashingtonPost]
Shifting Perspectives: The same old animal posterior
Every Tuesday, Shifting Perspectives explores issues affecting druids and those who group with them, brought to you by Dan O'Halloran and David Bowers.Some people say that Blizzard is lazy. Players tend to start voicing this sort of opinion when it seems like Blizzard hasn't done something they think should have been done a long time earlier, such as adding new dungeons they won't visit, or new features they won't use. Sometimes there's just one particular thing that grates and grates on the players' nerves so much that they simply cannot understand why Blizzard hasn't done anything about it yet.Even I have been guilty of this sort of thinking now and then. But ultimately, it becomes apparent that, whatever the status of Blizzard's list of flaws -- laziness is not one of them. Indeed, we simply do not realize the massive extent of work that is required to achieve some things, especially the things we don't personally desire, and therefore fail to give credit for hard work done where we don't realize such credit is due.The topic at hand today is a prime example of such a problem, a druid pet peeve which has gone on for a long long time. Exhibit A, above, is the Tauren Cat Form, or rather, what some of us might wish the Tauren Cat Form looked like -- a player's own suggestion submitted in Blizzard's own art contest of 2007. The Tauren Cat Form that Horde druids have been seeing since 2004 is pictured to the left here in Exhibit B [Update: Tauren cat form has been slightly updated in patch 2.3]. Whether or not Exhibit A is the perfect replacement for Exhibit B can be left up to the good judgment of the reader, but for the purposes of this article, it is sufficient for us if we all agree that something must eventually be done about the feral druid's monotonous appearance problem. That's to say -- we tire of staring at the Same Old Animal Posterior (or SOAP).
/silly: Time for Plan B
Sometimes we, as players, do some incredibly silly things. Even after, say, 45-50 levels of dealing with the character, learning the tricks of the trade and the ways of your class, we can still make mistakes which may or may not lead to our certain doom. In the case of our poor Tauren friend in this week's comic, that certain doom is very, very certain and all together rather doomish. Clicking on the big florescent green "Click Here" symbol will reveal this doomed fate to you, but don't say I didn't warn you: There will be doom involved.Speaking of doomed fate, somewhere just beyond this sentence there is likely a link that says (more...) and clicking on it will more then likely provide you this elusive "more" they keep promising all over the Internet. Go ahead, click it. You will see.
/Silly: Shadow of the Colossal Mistake
Greetings all! Welcome once again to another /silly, my weekly attempt to bring a little spark of humor into your topsy-turvy lives. Today I would like to introduce you to the lovely lady pictured above. But not until after "the jump", as the cool kids are calling it nowadays. No, really, they do call it that. You just can't make something like that up.
Breakfast Topic: Your favorite silly things
Anyone who has ever played World of Warcraft for any length of time knows that the game is strewn with pop culture references and goofy things you do or receive. There are quests that remind us of Nintendo (Mario, Luigi and Link in Un'Goro Crater), references to songs ("Deep Ocean, Vast Sea", the now-gone male Troll /silly about "killed two Dwarves") and comics (like "Doomulus Prime" in Silithus) from everyday life. As a Rogue, I've pick-pocketed many silly items (Gnome Effigies and Steamy Romance Novels) and there are even some fairly silly debuffs in game like the "Bad Poetry" one you get from the actors backstage near the Opera event. (For those who haven't run Kara, "Bad Poetry" puts you to sleep.)With all the many things in game to enjoy (aside from the just the game itself) our topic this morning is on the sillier aspects of the game. For me, one really big stand-out was when I was doing the Warlock quest in Felwood and summoned El Pollo Grande <The Black Chicken of Death> -- a great big crazy chicken who promptly tried to eat my face. Another one that still makes me giggle is any time a new guild-mate runs through the Bone Wastes and has to do the Fumping quests. (Complete with Dune references, of course) Dwarves that like to bang a drum? I can get behind that!How about you? What are some real-life references, or just general goofiness in WoW that's made you stop and laugh out loud? Did you guys screen-shot them too, or is that just me?
Forum Post of the Day: Class haikus
Who knew that Warcraftplayers were such poets? Here'sa thread of haiku.All classes are here,Even that class full of noobs--You know which that is.Pretty impressive,Forum posters. Next up, let'stry writing sonnets.
ICFTB: Scavenging Azeroth!
This week's adventures with <It came from the Blog> took our adventurers to the four corners of Azeroth -- something I think that surprised some of them! But never let it be said that our folks shrink from a true challenge that tests their mettle! This week's game was a Scavenger Hunt involving 25 occasionally bizarre items that they were required to screen shot and send in. Depending on how creative you were, and how familiar you were with Horde territory, this could have been easy, or involve a lot of travel all over heck and back. For those of you curious for news of the happenings, and just how our adventurers fared against the fairly strange list I thought up, check out the details of this week's <It came from the Blog> shenanigans after the jump!
It came from the Blog: Hide & seek, and this week's adventure
This last Saturday, the Undercity on the Zangarmarsh server saw an odd assortment of people running wildly amok. And no, it wasn't because of the Fire Festival or Apothecary Faranell's red light special on body parts. The onslaught of rampaging Hordies was purely made up of members of the Wow Insider guild, <It came from the Blog>, all out to hide and seek as best they could! For the first round, Roark and Charcuterie agreed kindly to help me hunt down members of the guild. I'll tell you this much: there are some serious nooks and crannies in the Undercity. However... there are a few places you don't ever want to try to hide. Those hanging out under the elevators, in coffins, and most of the folks in the slime in the sewers were largely the first caught in the initial sweep. However, after a good half-hour of searching, there were five folks who were still nowhere to be found...
Forum post of the day: Patch 2.2... not really
While I have to admit, I wouldn't normally have thought of the Shaman forums as being the party place to be lately, this thread claiming that it had the 2.2 Patch Notes has certainly lived up to that feeling more than most. Sure, some of it is pretty dark (such as the part claiming that they've just deleted Shamans altogether) but I have to admit, even the parts that poked fun at my favorite classes were fairly funny. Here's a few of the highlights: General Notes * Changed flight points to make them go the scenic route more often * Adjusted flight point costs to reflect the longer distances. Longer distances = more money. * Poor players will no longer be able to speak. Sorry. No begging or gold website advertising. * Will of the Forsaken will be removed, due to popular opinion. Replacing it will be Emo Feelings of the Forsaken, which makes the /dance emote cooler. I mean, coolioo.So for a Forum thread that is full of silly fun (or perhaps just full of weird, depending on your sense of humor) head on over to the Shaman forums and check the "2.2 patch notes" out. [via the Shaman Forums]
The face of Halo's Master Chief?
Like looking into the Ark of the Covenant, there is a sect of fanboy that believes to actually see the face of Master Chief would mean the melting of your face and the imminent collapse of the universe. Then there are those so desperate to see the man (or woman), they'll look for it in the reflection of the helmet in the Halo 3 commercial, or just Photoshop it in. Ever see Chuck Norris Master Chief, how about Ellen?As for this video, the Master Chief looks half-Protoss under the mask. Maybe Bungie is hinting that Halo 3 will reveal a merging of the Starcraft and Halo universes? Wouldn't that be amazing? We could write fan fiction all day about such things. But is it the face of the Master Chief? Does the Master Chief even have a face? What is a face? All these questions and more will still be there when we finish the fight this September and Halo 3 unleashes so we can test this little video for ourselves.[Thanks, Justin and Jonah]
Breakfast Topic: WTB guild silliness, PST
Well, okay, maybe not buy, but I'm all about trading stories! For example, it's my belief that some of the best World of Warcraft posts never see the light of day. Why? Because they're closeted on guild forums, safe from prying eyes. But you know you all have seen them. These threads take on Legendary Thread status within our respective guilds, and grow into in-jokes over time. Here's one of my favorite of the recent posts I've seen on my guild's forums that has exploded into a truly silly string of "contest" posts. This original post was made by my Rogue class leader when he was looking for a Blinkstrike to call his very own. Enter the "Win a Free Pocket Rogue" Sweepstakes!
Game development team for sale on eBay
Ever wanted to own a game studio, or to see an idea come to fruition? Got a few hundred thousand dollars going spare? This could be the auction for you. An Oregon-based "award-winning video game development team" is up for auction, and the lucky winner will get the team of eight to do his or her bidding for 90 days.Unfortunately we can't decide if it's a humorous publicity stunt or a deep and meaningful statement about the industry. It might be an easy way to get outsourced work, but selling your team on eBay is surely something of a low.
