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Phat Loot Phriday: Experimental Specimen Slicer
When we last left our heroes, they had decided on a method to track the vile Abercrombie. This week, we're looking at a piece of endgame gear as an attempt to stay relevant as a loot column. We'll likely fail, but Lolegolas will look great while doing it. That's what blood elves do! The journey toward Tirisfal was lonely. Either Miranda or the Gilnean would periodically demand the foursome stop to look around. Despite clever eyes and earnest hopes, nary another soul could be found on the road. "Don't get it," Throgg grunted. "Shoulda been attacked dozen times by now." "Out with it," Lolegolas said when he noticed Miranda toeing the ground uncomfortably. "What do you know, woman?" Miranda rolled her eyes as she remounted her horse. "Folks are just otherwise occupied right now, I guess you could say. Things will be fine." "Really?" Lolegolas asked. "How does an entire continent of people just disappear?" Miranda waved a hand dismissively and pointed to the distance. "We're nearly to Tirisfal. I've gotten word that Abercrombie is definitely there."
Bring another game's items into WoW
Gnome warlock Shadowcog posted a fun thread on the World of Warcraft official community forums asking players to bring iconic items from other games into Azeroth. Shadowcog opened the discussion by citing the Magic Mirror from The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, one of my favorite games of all time. It got me nostalgic in all sorts of ways. Even Daxxarri got into the mix, looking to bring in the Snarks from the Half-Life series and draenei-crewed Battlecruisers appearing over the skies of Kalimdor. Oddly fitting, really. Personally, I would have gone with some of the ork creations from the Warhammer series, since I could see orcish and goblin technology coming together to create such monstrosities. Which items would you bring in from other games? What magical artifact or ancient relic from some distance universe would you want your WoW character to possess? (Thanks again to Shadowcog for an awesome post!)
The Fastest Way to 10,000 Gold: The Fox Van Allen counterpoint
Every week, WoW Insider brings you Gold Capped, in which Fox Van Allen and Basil "Euripides" Berntsen aim to show you how to make money on the Auction House. Feed Fox's ego by emailing him, tweeting him at @foxvanallen, or sacrificing your first-born to him. And be sure to catch the return of Basil and Fox's podcast, Call to Auction! Basil, you ignor... Kidding. Last week, I found out that my Auction House teammate Basil Berntsen was writing an article for WoW Insider titled "The fastest way to make 10,000 gold." Before I even read the first word of the column, my first instinct was that it was a great idea for a column. My second instinct: I'll bet my idea of the fastest way to getting 10,000 gold is different than Basil's idea of what's fastest. To be sure, Basil has some good ideas. Ore shuffling. Converting herbs to ink. But I've got my own ideas as to the fastest way to earn money.
Phat Loot Phriday: Abercrombie's Gloves
When we last left our heroes, a goblin nurse had just healed up Lolegolas, whose propensity for a disciplined hair care regimen has left him grumpy. Miranda expressed some annoyance with pop culture references, to which Not Spot only replied "u mad bro?" Not really. Miranda poked at the fire with a long stick. She kept an eye on the Gilnean the entire time. "Don't worry," he said. "I promise not to grab it in my teeth and go running away with it." "I wasn't worried about that," Miranda replied. "That's not how fetch works." Lolegolas ignored the druid's faint growl as he flipped a map around in his hands. "Getting to Undercity will be easy enough," the blood elf said. "Do we actually have a solid reason to chase Abercrombie that far? He could be anywhere. Mage, and all that." Throgg grunted. "Feels right, at least." "At any rate," Lolegolas said. "The real question is how we find him once we get there. Tirisfal is a big place, and we don't exactly have a human-finding compass on hand."
Profiting off the Darkmoon Faire
Every week, WoW Insider brings you Gold Capped, in which Fox Van Allen and Basil "Euripides" Berntsen aim to show you how to make money on the Auction House. Feed Fox's ego by emailing him, tweeting him at @foxvanallen, or sacrificing your first born to him. Hey everyone, great news! The Darkmoon Faire is back in town! From now until Saturday, Jan. 7, you can play some games, eat some carnival food -- and oh yeah, make a ton of money off it. Usually when new content is released, it's only the level 85 characters who can make money hand over fist. But the coolest thing about the Darkmoon Faire is that you don't need to be a level 85 character to participate or even profit off it. A level 20 character can have just as much fun at, get just as much benefit, and even make as much money as a level 85. It just takes the right amount of knowledge. And, oh yeah, it also takes a Darkmoon Adventurer's Guide. You're carrying one of those on you at all times, right? Right? Well, according to Wowhead, most of you sub-level 85 players aren't. And that's a gigantic missed opportunity for a lot of money -- thousands upon thousands of gold. The kind of money that's just unheard of at lower levels.
Phat Loot Phriday: Gus' First Aid Kit
When we last left our heroes, they were riding frantically toward Gilneas to stymie Abercrombie's nefarious plan ... whatever that might be. They're joined by the druid whose name is not Spot and the mysterious girl called Miranda. Lolegolas hasn't been able to wash his hair for six months, and he's getting crabby. The four stormed through Dun Morogh with all the speed of a tank blurring through a dungeon. When they finally pulled up to camp in the Wetlands, Throgg jumped from his mount and virtually charged to help Lolegolas down from his own steed. "You're hurt," the orc said brusquely. "Undead? How long have you been hiding this wound?" The blood elf grunted as he peeled his shirt sleeve up from his arm. "Caught a fang or something toward the end. I was rushed on account of you going missing. I'm not sure how bad it is." The druid pulled a fallen log near a barren patch of dirt. "Time for the nurse." Lolegolas cocked his head to the side. "The nurse?" Without another word, the Gilnean pulled a small contraption out of his pocket. It looked like a bandage rolled up tightly inside a wire box. "Pssst," the druid whispered at the box. "Time is money, and wounds take time!" A puff of smoke appeared on the ground. When it cleared away, a goblin dressed in a nurse's uniform stood nonchalantly. "Who?" he said without prompting.
Gold Capped: A tailoring leveling guide
Every week, WoW Insider brings you Gold Capped, in which Fox Van Allen and Basil "Euripides" Berntsen aim to show you how to make money on the Auction House. Feed Fox's ego by emailing him, tweeting him at @foxvanallen, or sacrificing your first-born to him. And be sure to catch the return of Basil and Fox's podcast, Call to Auction! Here at WoW Insider, we've been on a beginners' class guide kick. But after taking the time to put together my shadow priest leveling guide (and after reading the warlock leveling guide written by my less talented coworker), I realized that we didn't have any kind of leveling guides for professions. Time to fix that! After all, you need professions to make money. But first, the most important question: What professions should your character choose? The best answer is always going to be "whatever appeals to you most" -- but if you're a magic-using, cloth-wearing class, I'd recommend you at least take a look at tailoring. By leveling it, you get access to Lightweave Embroidery, one of the best level 85 buffs in the game for casters. Of course, you can level tailoring on any character, and a lot of the craftables you make can be sold at a profit. But if that character can't use the buffs from the profession, you're missing one the key benefits to max leveling a profession.
Phat Loot Phriday: Lump of Coal
"I can't believe how cold it is," Lolegolas moaned. The four rode quietly through Dun Morogh, watching a fresh coat of snow drift from the sky. "No wonder dwarves are so well padded. It's insulation." Throgg shrugged as they plodded along. They traveled in the shadow of Ironforge, carefully keeping to the outside rim of the region. The adventurers pulled up short when Miranda imperiously raised an arm, peering through the dusk snowfall. "This way," she said. Circled around a campfire, four dwarves laughed as they passed a keg among themselves. They wore standard mountaineer greens and their faces were flush with beer and warmth. Their campfire was at least as tall again as any of the dwarves. Throgg got the hint first. With a nod to Miranda, he dismounted and stepped into the light. He lifted a pony keg of ale over his head briefly, then sat it on the ground in front of the dwarves. One of the stout men looked at it for a moment, then set a small Lump of Coal in front of Throgg. The little creature jumped up and immediately ran to the orc, hugging his leg tightly. As soon as the coal had given its approval, the dwarves immediately relaxed and gestured the four travelers to come into the camp. "Beer and pets," Miranda sighed. "It's always the same with you people. You know that, right?" "Merry Winter's Veil," the Gilnean said as he filled a flagon for himself. He smiled brightly at the girl. "Come in, relax. It's all good for now." How to get it: Lump of Coal is a companion pet for Winter's Veil, contained in the Stolen Present you get for killing the Green each day. Alternatively, score yourself a place on the Naughty list. Don't worry; that's not hard at all. How to get rid of it: It's a pet; you don't get rid of it. Also, you can stop being so darn naughty so that maybe Santa will leave you a real gift next year. Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Phat Loot Phriday: Shriveled Heart
When last we left our heroes, Lolegolas had just decked Throgg across the jaw. Miranda was doing her best impression of being surprised, and the Gilnean just looked slightly embarrassed. As you do. "What is wrong with you?" Lolegolas screamed. The blood elf's body vibrated with rage. His green eyes shimmered. "How could you? What were you thinking?" Throgg picked himself up from the ground slowly, holding a hand palm-out toward the enraged blood elf. "It's not like that," Throgg said. "Miranda said that she needed help." The young girl stepped forward to speak, but the Gilnean appeared from the shadows, laying a hand on her shoulder. "Hush, child," the druid whispered. "This has been coming." "I'm sure she did," the blood elf retorted. "I'm sure you were doing the right thing; but you have to stop doing the right thing, Throgg. You're going to die if you keep this up!" "Guys, about the dark wizard ... " Miranda tried to interrupt. "We don't have time for this." "You!" Lolegolas said, whirling to face the girl. "We came here to rescue you from tauren, not to go hunting abominations. What happened to the Grimtotem? Why would you even come to Darkshire?" "Leave her alone," Throgg said. "You are angry. You yell at me, not at girl." Throgg brushed his backside off as he scanned the clearing. "Mage gone. That's not good."
Phat Loot Phriday: Arrowflick Gauntlets
When last we left our heroes, Miranda and Throgg split the party to find Abercrombie. The Gilnean and Lolegolas stayed to fight skeletons. The Dungeon Master gnashed his teeth and pulled his hair, but the party remained in separate locations. The DM considered sending a gelatinous cube to kill them all. "So, that's him," Throgg said. He sprawled beneath some bushes above Darkshire. Even the normally unsubtle orc couldn't believe Abercrombie couldn't see the hiding spot. After all, orcs wielding immense axes and rippling thews aren't know for their stealth. "Abercrombie. The man raining destruction down on Darkshire. And we're going to kill his valkyr." "Thanks, Exposition Lad," Miranda muttered. She looked much more comfortable under the bush, her chin resting on her forearms. "The thing should be back around shortly. Can't miss her. Big wings, impressive stature inspiring inappropriate thoughts, tendency to raise the dead." "You're talking fast and using big words to confuse me," Throgg replied. %Gallery-96786%
Phat Loot Phriday: Lightning Rod
When last we left our heroes, Darkshire was getting pounded by undead, Stitches was running loose, the Lolegolas had just run out of conditioner. Throgg panted, his bloody axe dangling limply in his hand. Stitches lay in pieces around the orc. Entrails and bloody bits made the center of Darkshire look like a butcher's yard. "We're not done here yet," Miranda shouted. She leaned out an inn door, pointing up the road. Undead still shambled toward the town. Flashes of moonfire lit up the road, and burning shafts streaked in the air. Lolegolas and the Gilnean held the flow of zombies back, but they couldn't do it forever. "We need to talk about how you know my name," Throgg muttered. "That's what I do," Miranda quipped. She quickly jumped out of the door. Bizarrely, Throgg noticed she was barefoot. "You're late. Something delayed you ... " "Brewfest," Throgg explained. "Whatever," the human girl continued. "You were late, so Abercrombie has been very busy. He made a deal with Sylvanas." "The Dark Lady?" the orc gasped. "The leader of the Forsaken?" "No, the puppy," Miranda derided. "Look, long story short, he's got a valkyr helping him. Your friends can stall the zombies long enough, but we need to go kill the valkyr."
Phat Loot Phriday: Reforged Trollbane
The story extends a little beyond the cut now. When we last left our heroes, Stitches was rampaging in Darkshire (as he does), a small boy was in danger of getting stepped upon (as they often are), and the Alliance guards were arguing with Throgg (as they do). "Look, man!" Lolegolas shouted at the human. "You need help, we're here to give it. How about we indulge in jingoism after we handle this?" Stitches bellowed again, flecks of spittle and undigested critters spraying the area. The abomination slammed its foot to the ground. Just as its massive heel would have connected with the human, something wiry and dirty grabbed the child and yanked him to the side. A young woman carried the boy away. She ran with the agility and tirelessness of a teenager, but Stitches's loping stride easily kept pace. "Throgg!" Miranda shouted. "Would you do something already? You're 10 minutes late as it is!" The guard's head whipped between Miranda and Throgg. With a sigh of resignation, he stepped back and gestured. "Save our town, if you will," the guard said. "Please." Throgg unshouldered the Reforged Trollbane as he charged toward the abomination.
Phat Loot Phriday: Stitches' Stitchings
Phat Loot Phriday now extends (slightly) behind the cut below. The three rode into Darkshire in a cloud of dust and ash. The town was burning; even the sky glowed with an angry, orange light. Throgg leapt from the back of his mount, snatching a thick cloth from the ground. "I know that cape," the Gilnean growled. He still wore his human form. "Those are some of Stitches' Stitchings. Nice for starting casters, but horrible for grammarians." "No time," Throgg waved the comment away. He unslung a massive axe from his back, stalking toward the town quickly. Lolegolas bounced behind him, stringing his bow as he walked. They didn't make it before a human guard stopped them. "Horde!" the human screamed. "Stay where you are. We are under attack, and no Horde will ... " "Hold on," the druid said. The Gilnean made a show of patting himself down. "What in the name Elune? Do I look like a troll or something? Or do these fools just go blind when a monster is around?" The druid barely finished speaking when a human sailed over the nearest building, landing a few dozen yards from the group. He hit the ground with a loud thump. %Gallery-96786%
Phat Loot Phriday: Sandrene's Invisible Vest
Reader's Note: Phat Loot Phriday now extends (slightly) behind the cut below. "By Elune's Funky Beat and Tabbed Collars!" Throgg said. "What are you wearing?" "It's a leather vest," Lolegolas said, running his hands over his chest. "I figured since we're strolling through old content, then we should dress the part. So I got this chestpiece." "Little elf," Throgg said carefully. "You wear nothing except, perhaps, the Emperor's new clothes. I can see your piercings." Lolegolas let out a long, sad sigh. The sigh expressed the agony of man who cared deeply about fashion but whose friend could not understand. "It's Sandrene's Invisible Vest, Throgg. It is, in fact, actually a vest and you just can't see it." Throgg poked the Blood Elf's chest with a doubting finger. "Huh. I can actually feel it. How odd." "Are you two quite finished?" the Gilnean asked ahead of them. "Miranda's waiting for us." "Of course," Lolegolas said. "The trail of dead Worgen is getting thicker. Surely, she's nearby. What's our plan at this point?"
Phat Loot Phriday: Fiery Warhorse's Reins
"Who runs to Duskwood for safety?" Lolegolas wondered aloud. "Certainly, by the time one's done battle with Ragnaros, perhaps the cursed woods aren't quite so bad. But a little girl? Fleeing from Grimtotem? It doesn't seem wise." "Old woman said Miranda special," Throgg countered. "Maybe she tough. Women handle pain better than men." The Gilnean interrupted the pair by walking into their camp. No trace of wolf or bear haunted the man's features; he was wearing his Human face. "I found the Grimtotem. Throgg, put your axe down. There's no point. They're already dead." "See?" Throgg told the Blood Elf. "Miranda is very fierce." "Maybe," the druid acknowledged, "but the Tauren were killed by Worgen. Their faces, chests, and throats all showed fang and claw attacks. Feral Worgen, and part of Genn's people. But Worgen." "This is Duskwood," Lolegolas said. "We kind of knew they were around. I can put on a melodramatic shocked face if you'd like, maybe scream like a little girl. Would that help?" "Oh, the funny. So very funny," the Gilnean replied drily. "The point is that if the Grimtotem were following any kind of trail, feral Worgen would have no trouble tracking her down. We should probably hurry." %Gallery-96786%
Phat Loot Phriday: Restored Archeus
"Miranda never was a normal girl," the old woman said as she handed a cup of tea to Lolegolas. The Blood Elf grasped the cup thankfully, warming his fingers on the pottery. "She was already touched by the time she left for school." "What do you mean?" Throgg asked. He leaned against the hearth, his massive body soaking up heat from the wood stove. "I don't understand 'touched.'" "She talked to people who weren't there," the woman claimed. "Not ghosts or anything like that. She claimed people existed on another plane from us; separate, not like us. She said they had extra dimensions. It was impossible to sort out." "We're looking for her, old mother," Throgg said. "I owe your Miranda a debt. She is being hunted. She may not even know us for friends." The elderly woman looked to the Gilnean, who merely nodded and confirmed, "I vouch for them." "She'll be hiding in Darkshire," the old woman said. She handed a bundle to Lolegolas. Once it was in his hand, the woman unwrapped it. "This is the restored Archeus, once wielded by Mor'Ladim. Her father won it. If you show it to her, she will know you as a friend." %Gallery-96786%
Gold Capped: Pokemon pandas, the economy, and BlizzCon 2011
Every week, WoW Insider brings you Gold Capped, in which Fox Van Allen and Basil "Euripides" Berntsen aim to show you how to make money on the auction house. Feed Fox's ego by emailing him, tweeting him at @foxvanallen, or by participating in your city's Fox Van Allen 5K Walk to Support Leg Tension. Any time a new World of Warcraft expansion is announced, a flurry of information and speculation comes with it. For us auctioneers, the announcement of Mists of Pandaria at BlizzCon 2011 was no different. Pets, professions, and more -- Mists of Pandaria will going to bring plenty of major changes to the game's economy. To be sure, the Auction House wasn't the most talked-about aspect of WoW at this year's BlizzCon, at least directly. But when you consider how major the announcement of non-combat pet combat was and start considering how these pets will be fully tradeable ...
Phat Loot Phriday: Funeral Pyre
Lolegolas knocked on the farmhouse door. He tried to hold himself in a relaxed, casual pose, but he felt as nervous as a young man showing up at his girlfriend's parents' home. The Blood Elf shook his head disdainfully when that thought occurred to him. "You couldn't have left that at home?" Lolegolas asked the druid pointedly. For his part, the druid merely shrugged as he watched cows doing cow things out in the pasture. "The Funeral Pyre is a grim weapon or a potent salve, depending on the flavor of druid using it. I would not yield it up in our quest. And it has a gem in it. Darn thing would get stolen from the locker." Throgg shushed them both with a wave of his hand. The door opened, and a middle-aged woman stood in the entryway. She didn't seem shocked to see Horde standing on her porch. "Ma'am," Throgg started. "We're here about your daughter. She's in trouble and we're trying to find her. We want to make it right." The woman gasped and clamped a hand over her mouth. "Miranda." %Gallery-96786%
Phat Loot Phriday: Westfall Chicken
"The girl's family lives about 50 hides down. The matron recognized the description," the druid said. "The locals says they heard a ruckus -- their words, not mine -- but didn't think anything of it after all the Deathwing trouble here." "And they just ... gave you the information?" Lolegolas asked. "They just told where these people were, didn't wonder if you might be a spy?" The Blood Elf's eyebrows were dubious -- well, the Blood Elf was dubious; his eyebrows just displayed that emotion. "I had my Alliance citizenship proof," the Worgen said, gesturing at a small chicken next to him. "A chicken?" Throgg asked. "A Westfall chicken," the druid said. "It's an Alliance fowl." "Oh the Alliance is f ... " Throgg started, but Lolegolas cut him off with a shout of "Don't!" The druid looked bemused. "Only Alliance can get this particular poultry, and only in Westfall. It's quite a prestigious plucker. A clever clucker." Lolegolas kept his hand clasped tightly over the Orc's mouth and gave the druid an angry look. "You're doing this on purpose. And besides, the Undead have the chickens, too." %Gallery-96786%
Phat Loot Phriday: Brewfest Keg Pony
The trio rode out of Undercity with a vengeance, desperately moving away from fallen Lordaeron in hopes the guards wouldn't notice the kitty druid looked a little funny. A tiny pony struggled to keep up, its back slightly bent by the massive kegs of beer. It sighed with relief when the men stopped for a rest in Hillsbrad. "No way of knowing which way they came," Throgg grunted. "I think we catch them from Menethil." The Gilnean nodded. "I can go into town and ask after her. Since the changes in the Wetlands, Menethil hasn't had nearly the traffic. Someone might have noticed a little girl by herself; they would definitely notice some Grimtotem." "What will we do in the meantime?" Lolegolas pondered. "Drink," Throgg replied. He gestured to the pony. "Portable Brewfest. Party on the hoof!" The druid look bemused. "You keep a keg pony on hand?" Lolegolas blinked in response. "You mean, you don't?" %Gallery-96786%
