crapgadget
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Crapgadget: gizmos to scar your USB port for life
Some things just shouldn't ever be plugged into your USB port. Not even that dusty, never-to-be-used socket in your 16-port USB hub. The gadgets you'll see below are among the worst of the worst, with some being so awful, they almost deserve a purchase just to give you a laugh live and in-person. Seriously, just listen: an actual "thumb" drive, a USB key doused in cabbage, a mousepad that doubles as a Lars Ulrich-approved drum kit and a USB Hollywood Film Kit for those still in denial over that acting school rejection letter. There should really be laws against some of this rubbish, but since there isn't, we're putting it to you -- drop your vote in below to let us know which of the following gizmos reeks the most. Good luck down there.Read - USB "thumb" driveRead - Cabbage driveRead - Hollywood Reject KitRead - High heels phoneRead - Finger drum mousepadRead - Finger skateboard %Poll-20275%
Crapgadget: pathetic peripherals on parade
Seriously, our hands are trembling at the mere thought of having to actually use any of these shameful peripherals. A camera that takes the good with the (mostly) bad? A star-shaped mouse guaranteed to accelerate the onset of carpal tunnel syndrome by 409%? A USB fan that blatantly lies about purifying the hot air coming from that clogged up tower of yours? All present and accounted for, sir, and that's not even the half of 'em. We have all ideas you too would want to keep your digits far, far away from any of the disasters linked below, but give the list a look and let us know which one you think is the most pitiful of all.Read - Mouse pad / USB hub / micRead - USB Whack ItRead - Yang Ying CameraRead - Star MouseRead - Key-shaped USB keyRead - Totally original touchscreen MP3 playerRead - USB fan with super-secret germ killing powers %Poll-19184%
Crapgadget: Special Olympics edition
Can't fly to Beijing? No problem, USB Geek is your one-stop shop for unlicensed Olympic dumpster-fillers. The Birds Nest Speaker features a USB port for charging and/or accepting music input via that included 3.5-mm adapter cable. $12 is all it takes to help keep Wall-E in service for years to come.
Crapgadget: USB back massager, limbo string and more obviously terrible ideas
Remember those battery-operated vibrating ladybugs that people used to pass around (multiple times) as office gifts? Yeah, that critter ain't got nothing on this stable of patently awful gizmos. We've seen a remarkable amount of garbage pass under our noses in the past few weeks, and we've rounded up the worst of the worst for your consideration. So, is a USB shell speaker really more embarrassing than a V-Sports console for folks tired of searching for a Wii? Is the i-Knock personal IM notifier more unnecessary than the Encore Rockin' Music Lamp? Or does the OMG-inducing Limbo String walk away with the gold here? We know, each and every item is a festering turd in one way or another, but which of the ones below just exemplify the word "crap?" Choose carefully.Read - USB shell speakerRead - USB back massagerRead - V-Sports consoleRead - i-Knock IM doohickeyRead - Encore Rockin' Music LampRead - Limbo String %Poll-17998%
Crapgadget: brick satellite covers, ladybug card readers and more laughable abominations
You know what's lamer than the thought of just how close 7:00AM on a Monday morning is from now? These five gadgets. Things are really neck-and-neck in this edition of the world's poorest attempts in the consumer electronics space, with everything from a brick-colored satellite dish cover (is drunk designing the new drunk dialing?), a ladybug-shaped multicard reader and a carpal tunnel-inducing aircraft mouse. Oh, and lest we forget the "Big Time" watch table and cellphone wristband, both of which are also very worth candidates for this round's most pitiful. Give each a look below, and after you're through chuckling / vomiting, exercise your right to vote on the best (worst?) below.Read - Brick-colored dish coverRead - Ladybug multicard readerRead - USB aircraft mouseRead - Giant watch tableRead - Gadget wristband %Poll-17084%
Crapgadget: revolving USB hub, revolting MP4 watch, lavish amounts of lameness
Consider yourselves fortunate. You've had well over two whole months without an episode of Crapgadget, but today, that grace period ends. The most recent laughable load includes an absolutely vile wristwatch that supposedly plays MP3s / MP4s if you can manage to glance away from the bezel and band. Furthermore, we've got a TV tuner and webcam -- in one -- alongside a way-too-expensive WiFi sniffing pen that doesn't do 802.11n. Bringing up the rear is Connectland's 180° X2 Revolving USB Hub, which clearly raises the bar in USB hub design stupidity. Per usual, we're begging for your vote on the crappiest below, but we'll understand if you just can't bear the thought of spending another moment thinking about these pitiful creations. %Poll-15846% Read - Golden MP3 / MP4 watchRead - Plustek TVcam VD100Read - Revolving USB hubRead - WiFi sniffing pen
Crapgadget: creepy angel phone, egg MP3 player, sucker web cam, more
It's taken a few months for our post-CES Crapgadget hangover to fade, but we're back, and we're falling off the wagon with gusto -- or at least fear, because this evil angel-baby phone is creeping us out. Check 'em all out in the links below, but don't linger too long before casting your vote for the crappiest -- this stuff's been known to take an eye out. %Poll-12206% Read - USB card reader with clock and thermometer: Nothing hides a card reader like a crappy digital clock! Read - Crystal ball USB hub: How are you supposed to see into the future when Nemo's in the way? Read - Marble egg MP3 player: 1000 songs, awkwardly bulging from your pocket. Read - Mini sucker web cam: Nothing ever happens in that part of the screen anyway. Read - Angel baby phone: Someone sat down and decided this was worth making. That might be scarier. Read - Vacuum cleaner mouse: Cleanest mousepads in town, guv'nor!
FM DockRadio is a radio for your dock
We're still not totally convinced this isn't just some joke gone too far, but given the fact that they're accepting PayPal payments as we speak, we're going to have to go with "scarily real." The FM DockRadio is simply an FM radio for your Bose SoundDock. Obviously the iPod doesn't have an FM radio tuner, so the need is there, but we're guessing the $89+ cost isn't going to fly for something as incredibly janky and featureless as this. Especially when we could just go out and buy a Coby for twenty five cents at Costco -- which plays CDs and keeps you warm.
Hoverit's Lounger, the magnetically levitating acrylic chaise
Sorry Joan Rivers, Hoverit Lounger is officially sliding into the pole position for the most hideously awkward looking piece of plastic flittering around, although we'll totally understand if you want to envy its defiance of gravity above all else. No solid plans for price or production, but really, who's rushing to sit in this thing? We get that it's clear to prove there are no tricks up the Lounger's sleeves, but that's kind of like over-explaining a joke that wasn't even funny to begin with. Do yourself a favor -- sit on your hardwood floor, it's free and looks totally Boho.[Via Physorg]%Gallery-14137%
You decide '08: The best of Crapgadget at CES
Primaries schmimaries. Your vote is so obviously well spent here: we're asking you to make your selection for best (and by best, we mean worst) Crapgadget of CES. Simply browse through the crap we've assembled below and add your pick to the tally. Hopefully next year you'll be able to call in your vote via Mini Phone while sitting on your Tole Pure.The nomineesRound 1: the Mini PhoneRound 2: the MP5 playerRound 3: Boxing ChampRound 4: Fugliest display evarRound 5: tweety! digital cameraRound 6: The Apple PieRound 7: 64MB Beer MP3 playerRound 8: Firetruck with 1.5-inch digital photo frameRound 9: spy recorder for little girlsRound 10: PC Desktop DuoRound 11: Janky-ass MP4 watchRound 12: iPod docking pink plastic purseRound 13: e-paper display actually paperRound 14: Hello Kitty with human debrisRound 15: Shredmaster Jr.Round 16: Music Player SunglassesRound 17: the non-existent digital photo frameRound 18 finale: Tole Pure really is a crapgadget %Poll-8209%
Crapgadget CES edition, round 17: the non-existent digital photo frame
All we have to do now, is take these lies, and make them true somehow.
Crapgadget CES edition, round 12: iPod docking pink plastic purse
Includes iPhone cardboard cutout.
Crapgadget CES edition, round 10: PC Desktop Duo
Features include: typing, clicking. Scroll mouse now with moar Ds!
Crapgadget CES edition, round 1: the Mini Phone
The Mini Phone. Just like a regular landline phone, but a little bit smaller.
Digital Photo Frame Watch, it's a watch and a photo frame
Finally, you can throw out that slide carousel you've kept strapped to your wrist for the last two decades and replace it with the absolute latest in cutting edge digital photo frame technology. Introducing the aptly titled Digital Photo Frame Watch, whose packaging promises "It's a real watch." But wait, it gets better. This "real watch" stores 140 pictures in its copious 2MB of internal memory, all for playback on its no doubt gorgeous OLED color display. This is the future, folks. It's here. We've seen it. And it shows pictures.On your wrist.
Crapgadget: mammoth iPod touch knockoff
Although we don't encourage you to lower your standards in 2008 like so many already have, our eyes did rest upon a couple of janky devices that you might want to take a gander at before the year's through. Just don't look too long, they might make you blind -- or somehow willing to shell out some cash. Which, we cannot say. Crapgadget signing off for 2007.Read - The most massive iPod touch knockoff you ever did see. Ok, so it's probably not that big, and just suffered from a crappy image editor. [Thanks to everyone who sent this in]Read - Yeah, it's a mango talking clock, so what?Read - "State of the art" Versus Scoreboard / boombox. Righteous garbage.Read - TakeTV goes the way of SDHC in the TV Card PlayerRead - USB egg cluster (huh?)
Crapgadget: USB donut, cube speakers, rose microphone, terrible PMPs
The lull before the craptacular gadget storm that is CES continues this week, but nothing will ever stop our inbox from filling up with hastily-designed and poorly-implemented gadgets. That's right, it's another edition of our newest running series, Crapgadget, in which tedium is lightly battered and fried to a crisp, delicious rage. Enjoy the crap out of this, okay? We nearly gouged our eyes out in the making.Read - Strawberry Donut USB flash drive: Direct quote from the website: "everything you desire in the ear of customized flash storage solutions." Yep, anyone who pays $50 for this thing is definitely getting something in the ear.Read - Tiny USB cube speaker: How else to annoy everyone around you, while still remaining unable to hear anything? [Via Technabob]Read - Venus JXD305 PMP: Take one part iPhone, two parts HTC, and one part miniSD-only storage and stir -- voila, not quite KIRF enough. [Via PMP Today]Read - Rose USB Microphone: Too cheap to spring for a Jawbone and real roses? Why not go for the rare combined epic fail?Read - AMV-format only PMP: Finally, a generic Chinese PMP that allows us to watch all of our AMV-format video on the go. Our dreams are now reality. [Via PMP Today]
Crapgadget: "Sonwy" PMP, baguette wrist rest, ramen timer, more
It's only been a week since you all awarded the Tole Pure 2008's first Medal of Crapcellence, but a swarm of upstart challengers has already begun attacking the crown. Take 'em in below -- but don't get too close, you've still got to use those eyes in the morning.Read - Sonwy PMP: like.several.others. [Via PMP Today]Read - Ramen timer: When eating ramen for dinner just isn't lazy enough.Read - Joybuzzer PSP and iPod knockoffs: If this actually works you probably needed new friends anyway.Read - Baguette wrist rest: You'll live that dream someday, codemonkey. Now get back to work.Read - 10.4-inch multi-display: This is essentially the leftovers of a busy day at the factory, isn't it? [Via PMP Today]
Crapgadget: creepy baby pillow, fake Alienware PMP, USB message wand, and more!
The endless flood of lame gadgets actually slowed this week in what we can only assume is a lull before the post-holiday gift-card-targeting storm, but rest assured that some still made into our inbox -- it always does. Good thing we've got Crapgadget. Enjoy the crap out of this, okay? We nearly gouged our eyes out in the making. P.S. -Next week we're having A Crapgadget Christmas -- so send in pics of the worst, crappiest gadgets you get under the tree to ask at engadget dawt com! Read - Zaky baby pillow: These darn kids today, they don't live in enough terror. [Via Coolest-Gadgets]Read - Alienware KIRF PMP: Ah, nothing goes with crappy, generic PMPs like a little light trademark infringement. [Via PMP Today] Read - Balanzza Digital Luggage Scale: This thing might not even be worth $30 at an airport gift shop. [Via Techie Diva]Read - USB message wand: Why communicate with others when you can just furiously wave a pre-programmed message at them?Read - Pasen ONION1 PMP: Pasen's LAZYBUM PMP, now with added inscrutable branding! [Via Generation MP3]
Crapgadget: USB Santa boots, SMB mushroom lamps, awful PMPs, and more
It's been a prolific week for crappy gadget manufacturers, which means it's been a frighteningly sad week for us, since we have to go over all this stuff whether we like it or not. That's right, it's another edition of our newest running series, Crapgadget, in which we round up the worst of the worst. Enjoy the crap out of this, okay? We nearly gouged our eyes out in the making. Read - USB Santa Boots: because attaching your shoes to your desk is so very practical. [Via Geeksugar]Read - The Super Mario Brothers USB mushroom lamp: Never has $13 so thoroughly ensured your virginity.Read - Faux-steampunk webcam: It's amazing that the designer probably wasn't trying for steampunk, yet screwed it up so badly. [Via TechDigest]Read - Slipper Mouse with programmable pedals: Look ma, no hands! Or dignity! [Thanks, Todd]Read - Luckystar MTV format PMP: Has anyone ever actually seen an MTV format video file? Were they happy about it? [Via PMP Today]Read - Tongfang Quadro-Platinum PMP: Just when you thought Tongfang was crawling to respectability, it busts this Pat Booned Zune up at you. [Via PMP Today]Read - Chocolate bar concept hard drive: In case you didn't have enough drive letters to keep track of. [Via Pocket-lint]Read - Gas-powered RC Hummer monster truck: Not wasting enough gas in your real Hummer? Why not spend $700 on a toy one? [Via BeSportier]
