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Top 5: Statements That Will Get You Punched in the Face By a Nintendo Fanboy
var digg_url = 'http://digg.com/nintendo/5_Statements_That_Will_Get_You_Punched_By_a_Nintendo_Fanboy'; "To each their own." It's a simple rule that, if universally followed, could result in world peace. On the other hand, if people didn't go online to bitch at each other about video games, then many bloggers would be collecting unemployment. I can't speak for every other hobby that exists, but I imagine that fly-fishing and glass-blowing message boards are considerably more pleasant than gaming forums. So as it is, the gaming world is chock full of debate. Hrmm, scratch that. The word "debate" conjures impressions of two well-groomed individuals standing behind podiums and taking turns eloquently addressing issues presented to them by a moderator. For every one of these moments, you get a couple thousand boring ones. But when the forum is switched to the Internet, the dialogue transforms into a partisan torrent of vitriol. While political campaigning may be viewed as a chess match between experts, an appropriate metaphor for gaming and Internet debate in general can be found in the gigantic brawl at the end of 1977's Slap Shot. In particular, Nintendo fanboys seem to simultaneously be a large source of and recipients to such slander. Perhaps it's due to Nintendo's extensive gaming history (especially when compared to Sony and Microsoft). Similarly, many of these Fanboys grew up with Nintendo, with the NES and SNES occasionally acting as a babysitter. For some, an attack on Nintendo is equal to or worse than an attack on one's family. To such individuals, I say take it easy. I'm certainly not above the label of "Nintendo Fanboy" (look at the name of this site for crying out loud), but I do try my best to apply sound reason and understanding to such hostility. I now present to you a look at 5 common weapons used in battle against Nintendo, an analysis of each argument, and how best a supporter of Nintendo should respond. NEXT >> #ninbutton { border-style: solid; border-color: #000; border-width: 2px; background-color: #BBB; color: #000; text-decoration: none; width: 100px; text-align: center; padding: 2px 2px 2px 2px; margin: 2px 2px 2px 2px; } .buttontext { color: #000; text-decoration: none; font: bold 14pt Helvetica; } #ninbutton:hover { text-decoration: none; color: #BBB; background-color: #000; } The Top 5 is a weekly feature that provides us with a forum to share our opinions on various aspects of the video game culture, and provides you with a forum to tell us how wrong we are. To further voice your opinions, submit a vote in the Wii Fanboy Poll, and take part in the daily discussions of Wii Warm Up.
App Store loses "All Free Apps" link
Apple's made some strange changes to the App Store lately. While the reviews change was a good one, this latest update is just confusing: they removed all of the "See all" links from the sidebar of the main App Store page, including the much-visited "All Free Apps" that many of our readers used to browse the new free stuff in there. Now, all that's there is a bunch of category links. You can still search for apps, obviously, and you can click on the Top Paid and Free apps to see those, and you can even click on the "See all" near "New," "What's Hot" and "Staff Favorites." But if you want to browse all the new Free apps in the store completely unfiltered, you're out of luck.Why would this be? Depends on who's guessing -- if you're angry at Apple (perhaps one of many developers who haven't seen their apps in the store yet), you might claim that it's because Apple wants to keep a firm grip on just what new free apps get seen on the homepage. If you're so-so on the issue, it might be because you think Apple wanted to streamline the process and keep you from the hassle of browsing all the free trash yourself. And if you're what our kind commenters call a "fanboy," you might claim that Apple is just having problems with their store, or that they're actually trying to help developers by raising app prices.Personally, I'm going for option D: someone working on the iTunes page didn't realize how popular the link was, and after a little outcry, it'll be back soon. In the meantime, there are still a few RSS feeds around that will help you keep tabs on what's showing up in the store.Thanks to everyone who sent this in!
Anti-Aliased: I should market fanboi pesticide
This week's column is going to be a little different than the norm I usually cover, but it still falls into that which I love and dedicate my craft to -- the analysis of MMO culture. And who better to analyze than the bane of a game's existence, the fanboi!They're right, you're wrong. Their opinion is obviously the best opinion on the planet, even if it consists of "this gaem is teh rox, ur dumb and obviuosly a gey retard." (It always fascinates me how they can screw up a word like gay, but can somehow gain the coherence to spell retard correctly.) They clog up the message boards by defending everything the developer does, right down to eating an egg sandwich during their hour long lunch breaks.They probably mean well and want their game of choice to succeed, but they end up doing more damage to the community at large than good. So let's dedicate this column to the fanboi and how much they screw things up for everyone.
'Fanboy' gains respect, enters Merriam-Webster dictionary
The word defining folks over at Merriam-Webster Inc. have added "Fanboy," along with 100 other words, to the newest edition of its Collegiate Dictionary*. Fanboy is actually one of the "oldest" of the "new" words, with its origins dating back to 1919. The wordsmiths define fanboy as a "boy who is an enthusiastic devotee, such as of comics or movies." Fanboys should feel free to write with self-righteous fury to MW and let them know it can also apply to video games ... tell them you'll never read their dictionary again if they don't correct this grievous oversight (also make an online petition).This isn't the first time in recent memory some bit of gaming culture seeped its way into the good word book at Merriam-Webster; "w00t" became the company's word of the year in 2007. So, w00t to all the fanboys out there, the dictionary acknowledges your existence.*OSX users will find the Dictionary widget, which uses The Oxford American Dictionary, already defines "fanboy." Merriam-Webster is a different company.
The best of WoW Insider: June 10-17, 2008
You can almost hear David Bowie singing around the realm of Azeroth lately: ch-ch-ch-ch-changes are in the air. Blizzard decided to do PvE to PvP transfers for the first time this week, Season 4 is coming soon in the Arenas, and lots of changes are coming to old Azeroth (including the Dalabubble, above). But don't let change worry you -- Joystiq's sister site WoW Insider has you covered, through all the changes coming in Wrath of the Lich King. You can turn and face the strain -- we got your back. News WoW player more ashamed than porn addictAddiction is out there, and people suffering from it need to get help. Combat stats and spellpower consolidated on AlphaA huge change to the way talents and gear will work hits the expansion's Alpha servers. Seven graphical WoW generators, and one for your carSeven different ways to put your World of Warcraft character into graphical form. Starting from scratch with two weeks to Season 4The new arena season was announced this week, and even if you weren't prepared, we've got you covered. Reading between the lines: are more PvE to PvP transfers possible?Blizzard broke their precedent for the first time this week to save a dying server -- will they do it again? Features Ask WoW Insider: /roll abuse?The number one way to cause drama in the game? Be unfair with loot. Tank Talk: The better (and lesser) angels of our natureOur raid Tanking column talks about that little DPS devil on your tanking shoulder. Ask a Lore Nerd: The evil-o-meterLots of players know some things about lore, but the Lore Nerd knows all. Changes to old Azeroth coming in the next expansionWhat's changing in the old world when Wrath of the Lich King releases? A lot. 'Tis the Season 4 making moneyZach Yonzon tells you exactly how to cash in on the news that Season 4 is coming soon.
DIYer builds fully-functional NES controller coffee table, earns mad respect
Nah, the idea of using a freshly-mushroomed NES controller as your coffee table isn't new, but we've got to give props where props are due on this one. Kyle Downes has just completed a painstaking project that resulted in his very own NES controller table, complete with a removable glass top to protect the unit itself. Best of all, it's way more than just a living room centerpiece. Open it up and you'll find loads of storage room for items any Big N fanboy shouldn't be without. Remove the glass covering and you'll realize that it's a fully-functional Nintendo Entertainment System control pad. Don't believe us? Check out the video after the break.[Via GeekLifeBlog]
Are you an MMO fanboi?
We all love massively multiplayer games. Otherwise we wouldn't be here reading this right now. But when does your love for a certain game become an unhealthy obsession? We're not talking about addiction, but we're talking about defending your favorite game regardless of the problems the game may have or what the game's developers might do to completely change the difficulty level.There can be a fanboi (an interestingly unisex term) for every context, but for the sake of this article, we're going to focus on the fanboi as it pertains to MMO gaming. It's safe to say that most of us can consider ourselves fanbois in one form or another. The question is, do you realize the severity of your fanboi-itis? Are you in fanboi denial? How many times can I say fanboi in one paragraph?
Friday Video: The room of a Nintendo fanboy
And, before you ask, yes, our room puts this kid's to shame. Our room has a frozen clone of Shigeru Miyamoto in it. Why? Well, we need to get witty headlines for Eric's posts somehow. He can't be bothered, he's too busy counting his theoretical millions in internet money.Back to the subject at hand, we dare you to say you have even half of the junk this guy does. If there's one thing he has that we don't, it's that Umbrella watch. Not like it matters, because the iron shackles that tie us to our Joystiq company Acer laptops would never allow us to escape out into the real world, where a computer desktop clock is nowhere to be seen.
The best of WoW Insider: February 27-March 4, 2008
Joystiq may be your source for Brawl news this week, but when you want to know what's up in Azeroth, there's only one place to turn: sister site WoW Insider. Things are hopping over there -- we're on top of the patch 2.4 news, and every single day we've got guild information, addon tips and tricks, and everything you need to know about the World of Warcraft. Here's a sampler platter. News PTR Notes: Shaman buffs, Lifetap "change," and moreWarlocks got a little Lifetap nerf this week, and the gnashing of teeth hasn't stopped since. Wealthy elves I have knownMaking cash (and lots of it) with little effort. How to maximize your bag space with 20-slot bagsWhere to get the satchels with lots of empty space. Hacked and robbed blind: One guild's cautionary taleA tough case of guild treachery. Are raiders becoming obsolete?Blizzard's opening up the endgame and giving out epics. Is raiding worth it anymore? Features Know Your Lore: Oshu'gunDid you know there's a Naaru secret in Nagrand? Encrypted Text: Raiding as a rogue, part 1Stabby stabby on the big raid bosses. Insider Trader: Rounding up 2.4 profession changes, part 1What's new for the professions in patch 2.4. Forum Post of the Day: PuG player archetypesWe've all seen these guys out there, unfortunatey playing right next to us. Farewell, my friendA touching tribute to a guildie and a friend.
Zealots lineup for Jobs' keynote
Look at that. Five of the faithful lined-up since noon Monday for Tuesday morning's MacWorld keynote address by Steve Jobs. Not a girlfriend in sight. We presume that their eyes rolled-back in prostrated worship once the photo opp ended.
Anatomy of a Fanboy: "We have seen the enemy, and he is us."
David Keating has decided that it is high time to put his degree in counseling to use, and to write up the anatomy of a fanboy. Now, this isn't the first time anyone has tried to break down what makes us hate the Dreamcast, and love the Atari Jaguar, but it's a nice little read that has the right mix of both intellect and well ... fanboyism.Yes, that's right, we're saying that Keating, who writes for a gaming website called myarcadeplanet.com, has caught the fanboy gene himself. However, in order to study the enemy, one must become him, and Keating has done a good job of that.We're not saying he's torn a hole wide open into the fabric of the internets, and turned fanboyism on its ear. However, it's a nice ride and has us realizing why our hackles get raised whenever someone slams the TurboGrafx 16.
E307: Joystiq goes hands-on with Geometry Wars
Those lucky Joystiq folk got their hands on the DS adaptation of the Xbox Live Arcade hit Geometry Wars during the recently-concluded E3. After running it through their rigorous gauntlet of tests, Joystiq came to the conclusion that the game was sloppy and hard to handle. More like hard to swallow for all of those looking forward to playing the game on the DS, we imagine. Even with the ability to guide your attack ship with the d-pad, or exclusive use of the stylus, the game is harder to play than on the Xbox 360, according to Joystiq. With 60 levels to play, we imagine even a little bit of time with the game won't help correct this error. Guess the game just needs analog sticks ... %Gallery-4777%
Today's most is-it-Halo-yet video: Red vs Blue orientation
While the Halo 3 multiplayer beta is trickling its way out to the masses, pass the time while all of your neighbors try to download it simultaneously with the latest from Red vs. Blue. (Oh, who are we kidding? We know you're going to watch the progress counter ratchet up to 100 percent, with the same adoration as if you were reading Hemingway the multiplayer guide.) As the Red vs. Blue guys inch closer to the 100th episode blowout, the latest short shows off some important basics players need to know about the multiplayer beta. Think of it as an orientation initiation into Halo 3. Welcome to the social.See the video after the break.
The dirtier side of DS homebrew
With a title such as Hotel Dusk, you can see that the Ninendo DS market is interested in more mature titles -- but just how mature? Eric Caoili of Joystiq sister site DS Fanboy has amassed a list of five homebrew titles that show the DS for the sexual deviant mainstream media has occasionally labeled it.The prevailing parallels between each title is that sex is a predominant theme, but it is tackled in a shallow and surprisingly softcore fashion. As per the usual sex-themed titles found online, the gameplay itself is a simple minigame with little thought required to succeed (the one exception is Virus DS) and, as Caoili quips, R-rated movies feature more taboo content.What we'd love to see is more mature content, but we'd also like handled in a mature way. For the games industry to tackle more serious topics like other entertainment industries do would be a step in its maturity. And, for the games intended for more private sessions, even those in the homebrew community, how about a little more effort put into their development?As Caoili notes, adult titles are not going to come from major publishers anytime soon. If you want to see these games proliferate and grow, you have to support the homebrew scene. The linked article is for adults only and is most certainly NSFW.
Electronic House crowns Home of the Year winners
While we've seen a variety of domiciles packed to the hilt with consumer electronic-related goodness, the big boys and girls most certainly come out of the woodwork (or the downstairs home theater) when Electronic House begins accepting applications for its Home of the Year. The award goes to the home that most perfectly displays "a mix of electronics and design," and while we're fairly sure the 300 or so entries they received could all be worthy of gracing the pedestal, only three were picked to take top honors. Clearly, money was of little or no concern in the construction of these fine dwellings, but rest assured, the thousands upon thousands that went into objects of desire such as Runco plasmas / projectors, Crestron home automation systems, Lexicon amplifiers, Denon receivers, and the host of other LCD HDTVs, lighting systems, and in-ceiling speakers weren't used carelessly. Each of the top three homes sports a distinct angle and motif not directly shared by the other victors, and while we personally wouldn't mind visiting any of the three, be sure to hit the read link for the breakdown of how each crib won its medal, and click on through for a few more shots.
Replace your mouse with a DS, eliminate work-related fanboy downtime
Adding to the list of questionably-useful ways to use your Nintendo gear, German hacker Dankredues posted up a little app that lets you use the DS screen as a mouse. While it's no MIDI keyboard or homebrew tilt sensor, the app seems like it could make an interesting and cheap tablet for you to knock out that Princess Peach fanime you keep talking about. Wacom's not going to be losing sleep over this anytime soon though -- right now the software is available only in German, requires you to hardcode your IP address into the source before compiling, and opens two ports on your machine: one each for X and Y coordinates. Ouch. Give the dude some credit, though, he's only 14. True fanboys can prove their mettle by nabbing the software at the Read link.[Via DS News]
Nintendo playhouse returns us to childhood innocence
Fanboys (and girls) with enough cashflow and skill can certainly drop a few jaws with their heartfelt creations / collections, and while the Mac cathedral certainly holds a special place in the hearts of Apple freaks abroad, the Nintendo playhouse doesn't fare too badly either. While the production certainly isn't perfect from an architectural viewpoint, the creativity and sheer brilliance of such a domicile is worthy of applause, as the life-sized Game Boy, littering of characters, and barrage of retro inspirations are enough to make just about anyone show some respect. Unfortunately, we've absolutely no idea where in the world this palace is located, but until the quest to locate it finally concludes, be sure and hit the read link for homegrown Nintendo mania.UPDATE: We've been informed that this was a part of the spring carnival at Carnegie Mellon University, and we owe this honor to Sigma Phi Epsilon, who had the hand in constructing it. Kudos![Via NintendoWiiFanboy]
Happy Easter from DS Fanboy!
Whatever sort of day today is for you -- be it holiday, or just another day -- we here at DS Fanboy hope it's a good one! May you rock the house in any games you pick up, and may all your food be tasty. Alright, so we're not so great with the well-wishing, but you get the picture. And speaking of pictures, like this one, we have to ask ... do you ever think about chocobos when you see chicks? We must admit, sometimes the sight of a fluffy yellow chick makes us think, "Aww! Wark!" Happy Easter!
Are Nintendo fanboys hurting the Wii's 3rd-party support? One fansite editor sounds off
Who's at fault for Nintendo's lack of third-party support: Nintendo, the developers, or the fans themselves? Kevin Cassidy, founder of website GoNintendo, places the blame on the Nintendo community for showing reluctance or unwarranted disdain toward third-party Wii games.The rant, part of Newsweek writer N'Gai Croal's P2P series, makes a point out of Dewy's Adventure, a game he feels internet users have called in "kiddie" based on its looks alone, subsequently refusing to give it a chance. This is a problem Nintendo had when revealing Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker to be a cel-shaded romp with a pre-adolescent Link. Of course, that game sold well on merit of its Nintendo roots. Dewy's Adventure isn't even out yet, so opinions have room to alter wildly between now and its release later this year.Is the "kiddie" problem inherently Nintendo's, though? Regard Microsoft's Viva Pinata, a game that has been praised widely but suffers from low (though steady) sales. Is the kiddie image of the title affecting other consoles, too? Cassidy opines that Nintendo fans are clamoring for "mature" titles that include violence and gore, but we feel this is a more universal trend that is affecting all consoles.
How to be a fanboy
Finally, a definitive guide to the lucrative field of fanboyism! All you non-believers who think fanboys are soulless amoeba are teh suxx0rz! Wired has broken down the science behind being a fanboy into four simple rules: Your System Has No Flaws It's Not Broken, It's Hard-Core Praising Another System Is the Same as Insulting Yours Everyone's Biased but You After taking at least 5 seconds to skim the bold letters above (don't pause for comprehension), you're now ready to pick the gaming system you know is the best and start your crusade. Bonus points for using the phrase "[insert system here] PWNZ" more than ten times in one paragraph. Spelling skillz optional. Blind devotion a must.
