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One reason not to buy an iPhone 6 Plus -- skinny jeans
This parody video from YouTube user Court Dunn hilariously shows the problems a skinny jeans wearer will face when he tries to pocket his new iPhone 6 Plus. Wonder if JNCO jeans is preparing for its big comeback?
Perfect Flick is perfectly frustrating
Perfect Flick is a free puzzle game for iOS. This is a puzzle game that is intended for gamers looking for another addictive phone game. Using a simple flick, the game introduces challenging levels that can hook a seasoned gamer or frustrate a novice endlessly. It is currently only available for iOS devices including iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch. The game has various levels that a user can access after completion. A user begins with free 20 flicks (turns) and is awarded up to 5 flicks for each level completion. There are in app purchases available - a user can buy 20 flicks for 99 cents, 100 flicks for 2.99, and 500 flicks for 9.99. Some of the levels are very visually appealing and conceptually fun. However, other levels seem very out of place. For example, the first few levels include flicking a car towards a brick wall without crashing and flicking a coin towards a ledge without allowing them to fall. Then there's level 7, in which the player is instructed to flick some toilet paper so that it reaches "50 centimetres". What? That seems very random - why would anyone flick toilet paper? Why 50 centimeters? This level made me start to lose interest and I felt that this game was a bit of a joke. I don't see players feeling compelled to purchase flicks to complete a level involving flicking toilet paper rolls. The game describes itself as a game with "precision flicking puzzles." Precision is correct. It is extremely challenging to get through even a few levels with the mere 20 flicks that come with the free app. After the 20 flicks are used, users are encouraged to buy more flicks or completely start over. Other puzzle games (like Angry Bird) usually allow a free user to have more time to familiarize themselves with the game before encountering a "game over" scenario. Losing quickly can be pretty frustrating for the casual player who typically does not buy add-ons within a game. The challenging aspect of it could help to bring in loyal users who do intend to purchase more flicks to continue playing the game and experience new puzzles. For novice players, this game could prove to be too challenging to pursue beyond playing for a day or two. If there were more flicks included in a free turn it would be much less frustrating. 20 flicks barely gets a brand new user through the first three levels. Perfect Flick does not have the capacity to be as addictive as other puzzle games on the market currently, but it is still worth a try. It's a fun game that does require some skill and practice and I do see myself playing Perfect Flick again at some point when I am really bored. I don't really have a burning desire to flick toilet paper though.
Siri vs the Scottish Accent (NSFW language)
Siri has steadily improved since its release but anyone who has ever used the speak and search service has experienced their fair share of miscommunication. You have to speak clearly for Siri to understand you but, as the Scottish iPhone user in this video learns, sometimes the definition of clearly changes from country to country. Enjoy this man's humorous quest to have Siri help him find a jam sandwich. It features some not safe for work language, so consider plugging in your headphones before viewing in an office.
Gold: The secret shame of my late night iPhone order
If you were one of the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, all staying up late last night to pre-order an iPhone 6 or 6 Plus, you probably noticed that the roll-out didn't proceed as smoothly as it might have, especially at the US store. With store-down notices going on significantly beyond the 12AM Pacific launch time, it was a mad scramble trying to get an early-shipped device. Outages were so bad that some people started hearing imaginary Mandarin audio tracks floating through their heads. I quickly found out, as did many others, that the iOS-based Apple store app offered the best chance for a pre-order. I hopped in, fully intending to pick up a mid-range 64 GB Space Gray iPhone 6 Plus unit. This is what I call the "accountant's special", as it offers the best mix of subdued coloring and storage value. Apparently, nearly every one else in the Internets hoped to pick up exactly that model since it showed "not available" from the moment I finally got past the AT&T upgrade screen. In fact, the only model I could order with a quick ship date was the 128GB Gold. I'm not terribly against the whole 128GB storage as I can basically put every bit of data I own on my phone along with the gross domestic data product of several small countries but the gold color, well, I'd like to think that I have, er, had, standards. Ever since the gold iPhone 5s debuted, its taste level has been subject to debate. Caught between "shameful bling" and "understated elegance", there fewer people who can figuratively carry it off than people who literally carry it in their purse or pocket. I know for sure that I'm not one of them. Sure, I'm trying to make the best of things -- I'm calling it "Fawkes" after the phoenix in Harry Potter, although I was tempted with "Deputy Parrish" for the ambiguously phoenix-y character on Teen Wolf -- but to me, gold color has always been something that happens to other people. People who live in Florida. Who have fabulous houses. Who drive nice cars and drink champagne. People to whom "lamé" is a metallic fabric and not an MP3 encoder. Steve Sande tells me that he's about to sell his gold iPhone 5s to Gazelle, adding "I've hidden it in a Mophie case for a year". What do you think of the gold iPhone? Cast your vote in this poll and then drop a comment about how your pre-order went. What model and color did you go for? And when do you expect it to arrive or be ready for pickup? %Poll-89389%
Conan O'Brien uncovers Apple's In-House Composer, Jens Mueller
An Apple announcement is not complete without an parody skit from Conan O'Brien. The late night talk show host doesn't disappoint with his latest monologue.
Caption This: The Eddy and Walt show
Of all the things I during Apple's iPhone 6 & Apple Watch event, the thing that interested me most was Eddy Cue's lovely pink shirt. Ok, that was a lie, but I still think it's pretty fantastic. This photo -- snapped by Gilipollastv on Flickr -- captures it in all its glory, while also serving as the inspiration for an Eddy Cue / Walt Mossberg buddy comedy that is undoubtedly already in negotiation. Hit us with your best captions in the comments section, and let me know if you recognize the brand Eddy is wearing.
Infographic hilariously compares two-year-old Nexus 4 with iPhone 6
As spotted by Business Insider, Android fan and Ars Technica Reviews Editor Ron Amadeo created this amusing infographic that compares Apple's latest iPhone 6 with the Nexus 4. The image not-so-subtly implies Apple's hardware is years behind Google's cutting edge technology. As with most good digs at Apple, there is a lot missing from the presentation. We can't help but notice that the image fails to mention Apple innovations such as FaceTime, Touch ID and the Cupertino company's camera technology, which has positioned the iPhone at the top of Flickr's most used camera charts.
Here are the funniest Tweets from the iPhone 6 event
Today was a big day not only for Apple but for satire minded Twitterers as well. With technical glitches, sound issues, and cutting edge technology there was a lot to joke about. We've compiled the funniest Tweets from today's event below. You can find Adam Newman, whose tweet we've featured in the header, on Twitter here. Enjoy. How to Lose Your Job as a TV Truck Director - Josh Helfferich (@JoshHelfferich) September 9, 2014 Where's Leeroy Jenkins when you need him? #AppleLive - John Ford (@GhettoCode) September 9, 2014 Is anyone else getting a rerun of Tim & Eric? - Merlin Mann (@hotdogsladies) September 9, 2014 YOU WILL LEARN MANDARIN AND ALSO BUY ALL OF THIS Love, Apple - Nate Bolt (@boltron) September 9, 2014 This keynote is running like a PC. #AppleLive - Dane Cook (@DaneCook) September 9, 2014 So excited for the Apple Watch. For centuries, we've checked the time by looking at our phones. Having it on your wrist? Genius. #AppleLive - Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) September 9, 2014 In related news, Microsoft is giving away Lou Bega's "Mambo Number 5" to all Zune users. #applelive #edtech - Joe Park (@MrParkMusic) September 9, 2014 The biggest disappoint about the apple press event was finding out the name Super Evil Megacorp is taken. - Patrick Wiseman (@thephw) September 9, 2014 Countdown until rappers just cover the entire face of the Apple Watch with diamonds... #AppleWatch #AppleEvent - Travon Free (@Travon) September 9, 2014 Apple is always innovating. I was just thinking "how can I put nudes on my watch?" - ⚡David Angelo⚡ (@MrDavidAngelo) September 9, 2014 If Tim Cook announces the "Pumpkin Spice iPhone 6", suburbia and all gentrified urban centers will erupt with glee. - Web Smith (@web) September 9, 2014 There's no way Tim Cook isn't in a jazz band. - Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) September 9, 2014 U2's album is free on iTunes?!?!? Which one?! Oh. The new one. Oh, that's ok. - kurt braunohler (@kurtbraunohler) September 9, 2014 If we missed one of your favorites please post it in the replies.
The Joy of Tech sums up Apple Event Essentials in one perfect comic
Tomorrow is the big day. We finally get to see the iPhone 6 and will hopefully also get a peek at the future of Apple's wearable tech. Apple fans will be live blogging, chugging coffee, and refreshing like mad throughout the day feasting on information, but before you get started make sure you have proper supplies. The fine folks at The Joy of Tech webcomic have created just such a list for you today with their latest installment "Apple Event Essentials." You can see a preview of the comic above, but to check out the whole thing head over to their website, which you can find here. We could repost the whole comic here, but then we've be depriving them of the clicks they rightfully deserve. Enjoy, and don't forget your soundproof bunker.
Perfect Ten: MMOs that deserve another chance
First impressions matter. First impressions count. First impressions are lasting. These commonly cited maxims are true, but I would like to add one more: "First impressions can be deceiving." Due to our nature of making snap judgments, experiencing something at the wrong time or being impatient, we can rush to a conclusion that could rob us of something we could truly love. There are few things that frustrate me more than seeing MMO gamers adopt the gospel of the first impressions and refuse to ever return to a game afterward. We keep treating MMOs as disposable, one-shot entertainment that must be plundered quickly right out of the gate instead of seeing them as reusable fun that gets better with time. So the next time you feel bored waiting for the next MMO to launch so that you can make a two-month first impression and then leave forever, why not give an older title a second try? In this week's countdown, I'm going to make a case for 10 MMOs that deserve another chance even if you wrote them off long ago.
Ikea releases Apple parody 'Bookbook' ad
Ikea is the latest company to create a commercial inspired by Apple's sometimes over-the-top product advertisements. The clever parody ad introduces the company's new 2015 catalog, dubbed the "Bookbook," which features support for multiple users, bookmarking and more. [Via Time]
Ask Massively: Destiny is not the boss of me
Bungie's Destiny launches next week, and since it is by most appearances an MMO (or possibly a fragrance), we've been covering it, albeit lightly since our primary audience is not a console-only audience. But hasn't Bungie said that Destiny isn't an MMO? That was Massively reader icnoevil's primary objection to our coverage: So if the devs themselves have said the game is not an MMO, why does it keep showing up on this site? There's a little thing I repeat to myself every once in a while when studio reps are being pushy about our coverage: I don't work for them. I work for Joystiq.
What an iPhone impressionist does in his spare time
Check out this funny Vine from Manfred Hanberg that shows him harassing an innocent game player with some serious notification trolling. Though amusing, the best part of this Vine video isn't the prank itself, but the notification impressions, which are spot on. The talented iPhone impressionist should take this gag into crowded train and have some fun with the morning commuters.
No one deserves a bootleg iPhone 6
Friends don't let friends buy crappy bootlegged iPhones, and even your enemies should be spared. With the release of the iPhone 6 quickly approaching, scammers and opportunists are getting ready to screw over unsuspecting rubes. People who don't know any better will see an iPhone 6 selling for US$200 online and think, "Wow, maybe I've found a deal." Then comes the unboxing, and with it the crushing realization they purchased a fraud, unfit for even making a phone call without crippling lag. If you have a friend who is known for taking deals that are too good to be true -- a "Jack" who buys magic beans if you will -- show them this video. Explain to them the horrors that await in the world of bootlegged iPhones. Save them the pain of inviting the unknown into their home. Be happy YouTuber DarGadgetZ took the hit for them. If they still insist on buying one they deserve what happens.
The Apple robot
If your old Mac is too busted, too slow, or too ancient to be repurposed or sold, what can you do with it? Turn it into a goofy robot, apparently. The Harman Kardon Soundsticks subwoofer as a head is a beautiful touch, I must say. [Photo credit: Turner Burns]
Perfect Ten: How to spend $46,750 on MMO crowdfunding purchases
Do you ever look at your wallet and say, "Ugh, this thing is too full! It's causing a bruise on my tushie every time I sit, and no gas station ever has change for a thousand-dollar bill!" Are you tired of the endless cycle of purchasing luxury sedans to roll them off cliffs only to realize that the auto industry is making them faster than they can be destroyed? We here at Massively feel your pain, and just as soon as I finished eating a breakfast of scrambled eggs made from endangered birds, I hopped off the company's gold yacht and got to work tracking down ways that you could relieve yourself of the burden of wealth. So here is my plan, in 10 simple steps, for you to shed $46,750 of your bank account, all by blowing your enormous disposable income on Kickstarter and other crowdfunding options. No, please don't thank me by sending me a gigantic check. I would only shred it to use in my robo-hamster's cage.
Ask Massively: Emergency soccer practice
Today's Ask Massively question comes to us from a reader named Chris, who has had it up to here with you quitters! Yes, you, guy who just AFKed out of Warsong Gulch! After playing my fifth consecutive round of SMITE with an AFK player, I am fed up. AFKer, quitters, or whatever you want to call them -- they suck. Why is it unreasonable to expect gamers to commit to finishing a simple (even possibly enjoyable) 30-minute activity? Why can't they stay in their seat and just freakin' click some buttons? Leaving doesn't cost the quitter anything, but it certainly sucks for the team you leave short-handed. If this were a little league baseball game, we wouldn't say, "It's just a game, so you go ahead and eat pizza with your buddies instead of playing with us." And why can't game companies find a way to make this problem go away? Reporting systems are just a small step away from absolutely useless! I know that real-world stuff happens. The doorbell rings, the power goes out, or the kids set the kitchen on fire. But AFK rates seem way too high for just that. Gamers seem to conveniently forget what it really means to finish what they started. And if you can't do it for a simple game, how in the hell will you do it when it is something truly hard? Unfortunately, I know this problem well. In my guild, we call it "emergency soccer practice," an actual reason someone once gave us for quitting a dungeon group.
Old Macs always spoil the best parties
We love our old Macs, but sometimes they are party-poopers -- shutting down and scaring the children in this amusing Joy of Tech comic.
The adorable MacBook bear
I'm enormously jealous of the bear on the right. Not because he's adorable, leads a carefree life, and has a friend he surfs the internet with -- no, that's all fine. I'm jealous of him because he has a black MacBook, and I don't. [Photo credit: Izzyplante]
Over the iMac rainbow
I'm not sure if there are computers in these boxes, but if so, that's a dangerous game. Still, it's probably worth it for the sense of accomplishment you'd feel after pulling something like this off, right? [Photo credit: Imgur]
