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One Shots: Dusting crops with the boys
We're going to begin today's column with a very important announcement. It's so important that I'm breaking all the rules putting very important announcement in bold like that, but hopefully you're paying attention by now. We had a glitch with our email that pretty much blocked all submissions for One Shots since September 22nd, and so I never received them. I'm so sorry this has happened, but if you sent in a picture since then, I'd urge you to do it again. Thanks! Meanwhile, Captain Matt paid a few thousand credits to go on a once-in-a-lifetime trip with Han and Chewie in Star Wars Galaxies. "Here's me going into lightspeed with the closest of friends!" As Matt's living it up playing space chess with a Wookiee and getting his arms torn off, we've got many very important submissions to check out after the jump!
One Shots: Oh, wow
Have you ever experienced an MMO before and after a major computer upgrade? Reader Tyler has, and he's floored by it. "Up until recently, I had a very low-end computer that struggled to run The Secret World at even the lowest settings," he wrote. "The game looked terrible, and I lagged so badly it was almost unplayable, so I finally got fed and up and begged, borrowed, and stole enough for a proper gaming computer. I can now run the game smoothly at max settings, and my God, it's beautiful. My first five minutes were spent repeating the phrase, 'Oh, wow' and spamming the screenshot key. This shot is my favourite. If you look closely, you can see a slight pattern of shadow on my Templar's chest. This is the moonlight shining through her hair. Amazing." Will you be saying, "Oh, wow!" after seeing the rest of the pictures from this week's player submissions? I think you might!
One Shots: The people pillar
How are MMOs different than real life? There are many answers to that question, but our opening screenshot today reminds me that I don't actively seek to run into a sweaty, heaving mass of humanity just because they'll provide localized healing and damage boosts. Everyone always tries to use that excuse at conventions, and all I come away with is an intestinal debuff. Reader Eri had this observation while playing a recent beta: "Firefall seems to have quite a few community events regularly going on and it always amuses me at the end how it devolves into the ancient art of people stacking. This tower was during the stress test a month or so ago after a few invasions had finished. There were a lot of people around and a rival tower was being built in Sunken Harbour as well. Everyone was laughing and having a lot of fun, talking in chat while serving as a human pillar, and there was usually a dance party going on at the bottom of it. While this one did get big, apparently the dastardly Sunken Harbour Folks beat us." Are you ready to jump into the people pile? If so, we've got more for you after the break!
One Shots: A lack of depth perception
I don't know about you, but when I pick my mounts, I like to pick something that can manage depth perception. Reader Paul may be keen on this mount, but all I can think of is that his character's probably being led into a lot of bottomless pits, cacti, and stone walls. But who needs practicality when you've got awesome looks? Paul has nothing but the best to say about this Final Fantasy XIV creature: "It is simply because its the best mount I have ever come across in my entire career of mmo's. Also going by the census data that was released at the Tokyo Game Show, Roegadyn are somewhat of a rare race in the game, so I thought I would fly the flag for them too." We've got many more eyes for you in this week's One Shots after the jump. Enough, perhaps, to lend one to unfortunate souls like Paul who are perpetually in danger every time they take their ride out to the 7-11.
One Shots: Darkness Falls
Going through the One Shots email account is a little like peeking into strangers' photo albums, complete with their private stories and embarrassing toilet shots. Seriously, folks, what is it with you people sending in toilet pictures? OK, it's a little funny, so keep 'em coming. I was particularly drawn to Callie's photo from Dark Age of Camelot circa 2003 this past week: "My fiance and I loved going into the dungeon of Darkness Falls so much that we would frequently go down and fight the Prince, just the two of us, on our Warrior duo. I know newer games have come and gone, but nothing beats dungeon exploring and fighting a difficult boss with the one you love. Still one of my favorite MMO memories." One can only assume that your characters discovered the lavatory behind the boss room and took many, many pictures as well. Speaking of tawdry screenshots, we've got a few more for you behind the break!
One Shots: Ms. Rasa 2217
Sometimes some of you readers are actually crazy enough to respond to my weekly screenshot challenges for who knows what reason. Reader Joe got all excited when I put out a call for "pin-up" pictures and sent me a trio of his characters from the near-future (and dead past). I thought this one was the most striking. "Here's Tabula Rasa proving that you don't need to show a lot of skin to look good in armor," Joe wrote. "That's right, Jyo, you work that incendiary injector gun!" Will our kids learn about Tabula Rasa on the History channel some day? I can only imagine. Other amazing player shots await you in this week's column!
One Shots: Sunset over Eorzea
Reader Gordy feels that a new era is dawning on Final Fantasy XIV these days, and as I survey the general excitement over this title, I'd have to agree. Who would have thought it considering how messy this title was two years ago? "Even with the many, many server issues during the re-launch, it's still a wonder of a game in my opinion," Gordy testifies. "I was mining out in Thanalan, and when I turned around, I realized the sun was setting, and there was a warm comfortable glow over the entire world. I had to grab a screen and add it to the (probably piles) of shots you're getting for the launch of this gorgeous game." Get the full color version and more for the low, low price of $9.99 if you just call... what? We're not allowed to charge readers for this column? Man, I'm never going to buy myself out of indentured service to Bree now! Oh well, go see it for yourself after the jump.
One Shots: Shields up!
Reader Mary is in a tight spot. It all rests on her shoulders now, and if she dies, she will be responsible for letting down her entire team. The fate of this day -- nay, of the future, rests upon her quick thinking and reflexes. "I'm shielding!" she cries triumphantly. "I juuuust managed to get my shield up in time to deflect a dying Spookat's final attack. Meanwhile, Astro is distracted by the emerging Black Kat in the upper left corner, seeing as it was the first time we found one during Spiral Knight's now infamous Black Kat event." Give me a break, give me a break, break me off a piece of that Black Kat bar! Folks, it doesn't get any less punny from here, so hold your nose and jump into the rest of this week's player screenshots.
One Shots: That warm pink glow
Dragons are many things in MMOs: fierce, ultimate, overplayed, gold-loving, air travel, and full of hot air. But reader Kim saw something else, something almost tender when she went up against this big fella in Guild Wars 2. "This is my favorite game because I can battle dragons," Kim writes. "Of all the dragons, the Shatterer is my favorite. Who could resist that warm pink glow? Besides, it looks like he only has eyes for me!" Imminent death is A-OK as long as it has a comforting, flirtacious glow about it. I learn something new every week from One Shots. What other lessons will I add to my brain-unit from the rest of these pictures? There's only one way to find out!
One Shots: Pandas rising
Pandas aren't just for Azeroth, kiddos. Your favorite cuddly bears that can rip off your face even as you're saying, "Aww, who's a good little teddy?" have infiltrated many MMOs and risen to the top of the food chain as apex predators. Here is unfortunate victim Paul about to be eaten. His final words are as follows: "This is my highest-level character, a Beastlord called Kaesk who has recently just dinged level 85," Paul writes. "This means that I can now fly, hence the wings, and it also means even more opportunities to get distracted. While it looks like the Hue Mein pandas are sizing me up for the cooking pot, they are actually dancing -- and they know how to shake their booty, it seems. I just wasn't expecting to find pandas in EverQuest II, let alone dancing ones, so it made me giggle." You giggle bravely into the belly of the beast there, Paul. We admire your laughter in the face of doom. And speaking of doom, what other light-hearted pictures await us in this week's One Shots?
One Shots: Slice 'n' dice
No matter what the universe throws at us, no matter what problem roars in our face, no matter how desperate the situation appears, all can be conquered with a bit of derring-do. And a big, honking, lava-infused, laser-focused, mega-powered battle sword with +3 to every stat and a proc ability that will end the world on a d20 roll. Frank has such a sword. Frank is set for life. "Here's a shot from the ongoing Relics of the Gree event in Star Wars: The Old Republic," he sent in. I think Frank has it covered. Maybe you don't have such a sword on you. It's OK; we've got plenty of awesome screenshots after the jump that you can take and use their sharp corners to slice through the opposition. Rock it!
One Shots: The music makes you jump, jump
Party people in the house, get up off your chairs for One Shots this week! Put on some loud tunes, don your boogie shoes, and flail around like you just don't care. If you do, you'll be right there alongside of these folks in Lord of the Rings Online who don't know the meaning of the emote /sit. "This is one of my favourites," reader Lisa wrote in. "It's from an RP event on Laurelin hosted by the Songbird Strollers just outside of Bree. We were dancing to their jumping song." Deed accomplished: Totally krossed out. If you don't get the reference, then put your clothes on backwards and learn about the highlights of '90s pop culture. The rest of you may proceed to the remaining screenshots. No, you may not sit back down. Dance! Dance for your life!
One Shots: Peering over the edge
I do not like heights. By transitive properties, I do not like Cyberpunkhobo for sending in this photo that is capitalizing on my deepest fear. Did Cyberpunkhobo know that he was establishing himself as my lifelong enemy by the very act of this photo submission? Yes, I think he did. Vendetta accepted, sir. Cyberpunkhobo attempts to dismiss the seriousness of his actions in his description of this screenshot: "If there's one thing Firefall does well, it's making you feel vertically-challenged. I don't know how many times I've been met by a giant wall of rock on my merry way to an ARES mission. But when I found my way to the top of this particular precipice, I literally felt like I was on top of the world. So I took a screenshot, unfurled my glider, and proceeded to fly away as far as I could." You better fly, Cyberpunkhobo. I'll give you a 10-minute head start, and then all bets are off. So while we wait for this deadly cat-and-mouse game to begin, why not take a look at the other One Shots for this week?
One Shots: Swimsuit issue
Oh yeah, I'm going to totally suck you in with the tantalizing promise of itsy bitsy teeny weenie yellow polka-dot bikinis and then pull a bait-and-switch on you today. Shh. Don't tell your consciousness as it is already reading the next paragraph. We kick off today's swimsuit-laden issue of One Shots with this summer vacation shot of reader Draxos on Star Trek Online's Risa. "This is a shot of my Orion character as she ponders what she'll have to do for more Lohlunat Favors. Dance competitions, Horga'hn Hunts, meeting someone called Pavyl at remote locations on the island at night, all in order to earn a few Favors; it's just such hard work. Well at least there's been no mention of Jamaharon... so far." It's called "sex," Star Trek writers. You can use the word without giggling these days. Anyway, let's move on where more scantily clad flesh awaits!
One Shots: Video games are bad for you
I love the snarky billboards in superhero MMOs. I don't know why, exactly, these games became the place to place them, but I'm not complaining. Reader Elliot sent in one of my favorite billboards from Champions Online. I'm honestly tempted to make this into a business card. "I am not sure if this is up to par for One Shots," he wrote, "but I ran into this sign outside RenCenter in Millennium City and couldn't resist snapping the pic." We now return you to a feedback loop of irony. A sign in a video game warning you about playing video games? My head spinneth. Let's check out the rest of this week's player-submitted screenshots before I need to go lie down, OK?
One Shots: Jump! Jump!
Do you like jumping puzzles in MMOs? Then you and I can no longer be friends. I am sorry to draw the line there, but if this is the case, then there is something seriously wrong with your head. Maybe you like the small jolts of anxiety and tension as you try to hop from platform to platform, but I would rather chew on tinfoil than go through that again. Reader John will be your friend if you're a jumper, however. He's mastered one tricky hoppery-doo in Guild Wars 2 and lived to tell the tale. "This is the view from one of the high points in the Hidden Garden. It's a jumping puzzle you reach by killing one of the four keepers in Mount Maelstrom, opening a portal. I always enjoy the landscapes of this game." I enjoy the landscapes too, John. From ground-level. I wonder what other landscapes we'll be seeing in this week's collection of player-submitted screenshots?
One Shots: Friendship is magic
Oh pretty ponies, is there anything you can't do? Any wisdom that you haven't already mastered? Any look that isn't absolutely stunning? Any swish of your tail that doesn't grant wishes? I think not! I'm sure that reader Michelle agrees with me, since she sent in this picture of her little pony from Star Stable. "It's April Fool's Day," she writes, "and this is my character Lili Wolfwood and her horse Everdream after having clicked on an NPC Bunny. My horse is usually brown and black." Why do I keep forgetting that there's an entire MMO about horses? Why haven't I done an extensive six-week article series on it yet? While I deal with the shame of neglect, you may proceed on to our other excellent player-submitted screenshots.
One Shots: Do you always dress like that?
Here's a tip from your friendly One Shots coordinator: If you send in a screenshot from a game that hardly ever gets featured in this column, there's a better-than-average chance that I'm going to bump it right up to the top of the pack. Case in point: this groovy shot from Lineage II. Reader Johnny said he played this game back in 2007: "Behind me we can see the endgame, the Baium Raid Boss. Baium resides on the 13th floor of a the Tower of Insolence, a massive, non-instanced hunting ground with 13 fully accessible and monster-packed floors. The weapon I am holding is a Flaming Dragon Skull, an A-grade blunt weapon." Be prepared for A-grade awesome screenshots and B-grade commentary as you forge on in this week's repository of player-submitted pictures!
One Shots: March beneath the raptor's wings
Man, it's downright shadowy underneath the raptor's wings! Reader Draxos is kicking off our player screenshot exhibition this week with an interestingly lit picture from Star Trek Online's new expansion. "This picture is of my new Romulan character inside a Romulan space station that was having a few ... issues," Draxos wrote in. "When the lights suddenly go out in a space station, you become thankful for the brightness outside the window because then at least there is some chance of seeing what may now be lurking within the darkness. Although you could say that my Reman crew members are the true ones to be fearful of in the dark." Couldn't you use the Borg's head as a flashlight? That's what I would do. Join us for more shadowy flights into dangerous worlds of characters who do not exist in today's One Shots!
One Shots: You were saying?
If there's a class in Star Wars: The Old Republic that has a monopoly on the best lines, banter, and dialogue, it would have to be the Smuggler. Reader Danielle sent us in this nicely framed shot: "Here's my confident, sassy Smuggler striking a pose as he interrupts a conversation." But isn't interrupting a conversation... rude? He shouldn't do that, then. He should wait patiently until both parties are finished, and perhaps raise his hand and wait to be acknowledged by his betters. Or he could totally interrupt their boring chit-chat. The One Shots column is a time capsule of some of the most important MMO moments in history, and you're about to witness the latest entries into this hallowed vault. Steel yourself and prepare to gaze in wonder at the peak of human ingenuity and the print screen key!
