Ugly
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Solid Alliance's new earbuds are 'crazy,' ugly
So, you broke the bank (and several credit cards) picking up that uber-stylish Acronym GT-J14 earbud-friendly jacket only to find that no one even noticed? Or perhaps your Lady GaGa-approved beats couldn't endure the Paris Is Burning-style bad craziness you put 'em through? Well, it looks like it's time to sell a pint of plasma and use the cash for some psychedelic (and highly unfortunate) Crazy Earphones from Solid Alliance. Featuring a banana, a kitty paw print, sushi, or a Frankenstein's monster-esque bolt affectation, we promise you that a pair of these will get you noticed. But not in the good way. Pre-order now for $22, shipping in December.%Gallery-76120% [Via Akihabara]
Vuzix Wrap 310 video eyewear actually isn't the ugliest thing of all time
Could it be? Could it really be? Has Vuzix actually deployed a video eyewear solution that isn't completely unsightly in every imaginable way? Our eyes may be deceiving us, but we're going with "yes, amazingly" for the time being. Unlike the company's iWear line -- which looks pretty much exactly like the specs worn by Geordi La Forge -- the unpriced Wrap 310 resembles a set of sunglasses. Now, these aren't apt to be mistaken for Aviators or those patented Kayne joints, but at least you'd look halfway civilized if caught in public with these on your face. Packing a pair of video displays and promising a virtual 55-inch image, these get juiced by just two AA cells and can play nice with pretty much any video source, iPod and iPhone included. There's also an expansion port that'll give it VGA / component outputs in the near future, and if you subscribe to science fiction, it could also be used to read minds in around a score.%Gallery-73139%
Bluetooth headset use plummets in the US, humanity celebrates a small victory
Join us as we rejoice together: "Finally!" Look, we can't straight up say that Bluetooth headsets don't have their place in this world, but seriously, we've yet to not be freaked out when walking up to someone who's apparently speaking to the ghost we can't see. In a recent survey conducted by the quizzical minds over at Strategy Analytics, they found that only 26 percent of US-based Bluetooth headset owners use their device each and every day. That figure is down from 43 percent in 2008, proving that style may have just notched a minor victory over utility. Of course, the study also found that daily BT headset use was up slightly in Europe, but hey, it takes awhile for these so-called "trends" to float across the pond. [Image courtesy of eHow, via HotHardware]
Myvu's Crystal EV is 30 percent more Crystal, 0 percent less ugly
We know, we know -- we're a little harsh on these so-called "personal media viewers," but really, when's the last time you saw someone you would actually speak to wearing these in public? Precisely. For the introverts and social outcasts who just couldn't care less about public perception, Myvu is introducing its very latest in video eyewear: the Crystal EV. Sporting the same SolidOptix technology as the original Crystal, these buggers boast a 64-inch equivalent screen size, which amounts to a 30 percent uptick over the originals. Curiously enough, Myvu asserts that these are available to purchase right now, but it completely failed to dish out a price. Bollocks.[Via Coolest Gadgets]
Newton Peripherals' MoGo Mouse uglies up your netbook, hates your trackpad
It's one thing to sacrifice style for battery life via an extended cell, but it's another thing entirely to do this to your poor, innocent netbook. Newton Peripherals is causing all sorts of mixed emotions with its $99 MoGo Mouse, a stick-on mouse that measures in at five millimeters thick (including the holster). Granted, most netbook trackpads aren't worth the curiously textured material they're constructed from, but this just seems like an awfully short-sighted solution. After all, do you honestly think the average eBayer will be into buying a netbook with a mouse-infused lid? Doubtful.
Royche RAPOO 3800 wireless mouse is thoroughly ugly, positively alluring
We know what you're thinking, and no, we also have not a clue what Royche was thinking when it designed the RAPOO 3800. The wireless mouse, which ships in black or white along with a "nub" style USB dongle, lays completely flat and boasts what appears to be a few multimedia keys below a totally-too-small scroll wheel. We get that the space constrained traveler may be fond of the approach, but our ergonomics instructor is screaming bloody murder here in the corner. Mouse at your own risk, kids.
hField Technologies intros revamped Wi-Fire long-range WiFi adapter
Evidently hField Technologies has a good thing going with this inelegant Wi-Fire thingamajig, as it has just followed up versions one and two with the latest and greatest third iteration. The revamped Wi-Fire, which is more formally known as the HFWFG200, is said to be some 40 percent smaller and 30 percent lighter than the previous incarnation, yet it promises to maintain a solid WiFi signal while up to 1,000 feet away from the source. In one of those classic "two steps forward, three leaps back" moments, the company has added in support for Linux and OS X-based systems, though the device only works with 802.11b/g devices. In other words, you won't see 802.11n speeds out of this thing, and you'll still get looked at funny with it affixed atop your laptop's display. If you're willing to swap dignity for connectivity, you can get one headed your way today for $59.[Via HotHardware]
New Halo-themed Ecko shirts rival everything for ugliest anything, ever
Ecko Unlimited has revealed a series of six extremely overpriced Halo-themed t-shirts, and boy are they ugly. To demonstrate, here is a list of things not as ugly as the shirts in the series: The Florida Recount Bill Nighy's "Davy Jones" in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End The Nazi at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark Sonic the Hedgehog's Metacritic average Tron Guy The ending of Halo 2 They aren't just ugly, they are a kind of genetically altered super-ugly and you should never buy them.[Thanks, Michael]
DLI 8400 ultra-rugged tablet is as far from pretty as it gets
Guard your retinas, fashionistas -- this one's bound to burn. Data Ltd has just loosed its latest ultra-rugged tablet PC, and it's quite clear that the gains in rigidity come at a severe cost to style. The DLI 8400 is actually rather diminutive for a tablet, weighing just three pounds and packing a 7-inch sunlight-viewable LCD. Other specs include a backlit QWERTY keypad, GPS, WiFi, Bluetooth, built-in WWAN, 2GB of RAM, twin hot-swappable batteries (good for nine hours of use) and a shock-mounted HDD or SSD. Naturally, the IP54-rated enclosure is home to Intel's 1.6GHz Atom CPU, and there's a plethora of ports for field workers with gobs of peripherals. The Q2-bound rig gets going at $1,795, and while there's no telling what kind of beating this thing can survive, it's obviously done well to walk away from that awful plummet from atop the ugly tree. [Warning: PDF read link]
Toshiba Qosmio X305-Q725 reviewed: a nice performer, but it's still ugly
Toshiba's Qosmio X305-Q725, which was unveiled amidst a flurry of other gizmos at CES, boasts the same incredibly controversial motif as the higher-end X305-Q708, but with an MSRP of $2,700 (versus $4,200 on the Q708), it's at least a wee bit more affordable. The benchmarking crew over at HotHardware decided to put this newer, marginally more affordable iteration to the test in order to see if it still performed under pressure, and by and large, it did. While it couldn't go toe-to-toe with higher-end desktops, the GeForce 9800M GTX GPU, quad-core processor and SSD helped it to blaze through everyday tasks and hold its own in the gaming arena. Our biggest issue is the omission of a 1,920 x 1,200 display, but we suppose that's why there's the more expensive alternative. Hit up the read link for pages upon pages of test results and impressions.
Mobiado frightens and offends with Professional 105GMT Gold handset
We've seen some ugly cellphones in our day, but we can't recall the last time we felt that touching one could cause irreversible harm to our bodies and minds. Falling squarely in the category of "wouldn't touch with a ten twenty foot poll" is Mobiado's Professional 105GMT Gold. This abomination was crafted from sapphire crystal, Ebony wood and a CNC machined frame which is doused in 24-carat gold. You'll also find a totally not awesome 1GB of inbuilt memory, a ho hum 2-megapixel camera and a 2-inch 320 x 240 resolution display. It also features multimedia playback, a quad-band GSM radio, Bluetooth, optional diamonds and a Discovery watch mechanism that was clearly added in a desperation move to make this seem "luxurious." No word on pricing, and we don't plan on digging around to find out.[Via UnwiredView]
New facial models in latest beta build aren't quite done
Banana Shoulders has a pretty in-depth look at a graphical update we weren't expecting at all: Blizzard has, in the latest beta build, decided to update the facial textures of some player models, including Gnomes, Human females, and Tauren. And unfortunately, the updates aren't necessarily for the better -- while the models do look a little clearer and more well-defined, they definitely aren't done yet, as the eyes are eerily in the wrong place inside the head, and some of the models are just plain uglier than they used to be.More realism and detail is always a good thing, and it's important to remember that we're still in beta -- there's no way those Gnome eyes will go live. Blizzard may even be updating the way the heads are put together as well, in order to make sure the new hairstyles all work the way they're meant to. The real challenge, however, will be making sure that the characters come out of this process looking the same way they did before -- if the textures look extremely different, you may end up logging into Wrath with a character you don't recognize.Update: Don't panic -- Tigole says the facial model texture changes were "a development experiment," and these funny faces will never make the live realms.Thanks to everyone who sent this in!
eMachines bores us to tears, burns our eyes with cheap new desktops
Let's get one thing straight, we're huge fans of budget-priced gear. Yes, even bargain bin PCs that are done right. But eMachines' latest trio is just downright embarrassing. Still, those that don't mind covering their tower in a brown paper bag may find just what they need in the $299.99 T3656, $399.99 T5254 or $498 W3653 kit (pictured). Specs wise, you'll find Intel's Celeron / Pentium dual-core processors, a DVD burner, six USB ports, 1GB to 2GB of RAM, a 160GB or 320GB hard drive, 15-in-1 multicard reader and an equally hideous 17-inch LCD monitor bundled in with just the latter. Oh, and eMachines actually expects you to run Vista on these things and not rip every last hair from your noggin. Enjoy![Via DigitalBurn]
One Shots: Now that's a bunch of ugly!
Of all the nasties we've seen in games, this particular beastie wins for "face we'd hope to never run into in a dark alley." There's something about this much ugly on one set of legs that just makes you want to run -- or stick pointy things into it. Today's One Shots comes to us courtesy of Wookers, who is taking a break from Lord of the Rings Online to wander the world of Vanguard. Wookers writes: While checking out the auction house in Tanvu, this lovely guy decided to block my screen... figured he wanted a picture, so I took it!Have you run across anything more ugly than the beastie above? If so, we want to see some screenshots! Just snap a picture and fire it off to us at oneshots AT massively.com along with some information about where your ugly came from and the like. Then we can all sit back and watch the ugly parade.%Gallery-9798%
Newman's M8000 PMP: 250GB never looked so ugly
Newman has never had much luck cranking out portable media players that were easy on the eyes, and unfortunately, things aren't getting any better with the M8000. The bulky PMP features a 4-inch 320 x 240 resolution display, support for NES emulation and text viewing, a 1.3-megapixel camera, integrated speaker / microphone, video output, USB 2.0 connectivity and compatibility with a smattering of file formats. Unlike many craptacular rivals, this one comes in black or white and can be equipped with up to 250GB of internal hard drive space. Of course, it's not like anyone with a shred of dignity is going to fork out $388 for the quarter-terabyte edition, but if you've got the coin to roll, you can certainly test the limits of buyer's remorse.[Via PMPToday]
Cooper's gilded Amber F1 PMP is too flashy for its own good
We'll spare you our feelings on just how cheesy this thing looks, as we're fairly certain you can judge that for yourself. Those with no shame and an unrequited love for all things gold, however, may actually find this one quite appealing. Cooper's Amber F1 purportedly features a 2.8-inch widescreen LCD, support for RMVB, AVI and FLV formats, a built-in equalizer, SRS WOW technology, a bundled case and an obligatory set of gilded earbuds to ensure public humiliation. A price or release date wasn't immediately apparent, but please don't say you're willing to dig around to find out. Please?[Via PMPToday]
Iron Man case mod shows lots of dedication, is still ugly
Let's go ahead and get this out of the way: we can't deny that the Iron Man Mark I case mod took some serious work (and skill). That being the case, it'd take a pretty hardcore fan of the character (or the new flick, we guess) to love this one with reckless abandon. Reportedly, the whole shebang was built in just three weeks, and while we're still waiting for the full work log, feel free to hit the read link for an array of angles.
MSI's 13.3-inch VR340 laptop ain't too pretty, special
MSI seems to be in quite the contradictory mood, as that "Innovation with Style" slogan certainly doesn't apply to the laptop it's plastered on. We had to triple-check to ensure the VR340 wasn't actually introduced ages ago, but in fact, this 13.3-incher is incredibly fresh. Packed within the way-too-heavy 4.85-pound frame is an elusive dual-core Intel CPU, WXGA panel, up to 3GB of DDR2 RAM, dual-layer DVD burner, a trio of USB ports, 5-in-1 multicard reader and a six-cell battery for good measure. Mum's the word on a price, but chances are that won't hurt too many feelings.[Via FarEastGizmos]
Hot or Not: Estonia laptop edition
Get this: an Estonian newspaper has teamed up with HP to find the country's most unsightly laptop, and while the one pictured above hasn't been deemed the victor (yet), it definitely looks to have been on the wrong end of a Russian cyber attack. Apparently, the contestants have already been selected, and users can surf on over and place their vote for the single most repulsive machine in the mix. Thankfully, the two winners (audience "favorite" and editor's choice) will each receive a brand new HP Pavilion dv2699 Special Edition lappie, which we fully expect will be treated just as poorly as the rig it's replacing.[Thanks, Flasher T.]
Cyber Famulator Lite for DS bulks up to get old school
Legitimate (read: legal) Famicom support for your DS Lite may seem like a dream come true for the retro gamer, but Cyber Gadget's Cyber Famulator Lite might be a little much to ask for all but the geekiest. You have to strap on a (barely) pared down "famiclone" system onto your cute little portable, but pulling out and blowing into a dirty old Metroid cart on the go will no doubt be a privilege for some.[Via ExtremeTech]
