vaporware
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Eneco "developing" chip to convert excess heat directly to energy
We can smell hints of vaporware from miles away, and while Phantom has certainly personified the term in recent situations, Eneco is well on its way to joining the fray. While it's impossible to completely disregard the firm's miraculous claims just yet, we certainly aren't sold on the micro-sized "solid state energy conversion / generation chip, which will convert heat directly into electricity or alternatively refrigerate down to -200 degrees Celsius when electricity is applied." Investors from around the globe have flocked to witness this potential wonder, as its described as being able to use "thermionic energy conversion" to convert excess heat directly to usable, waste-free energy. Additionally, the uses are "nearly endless," as it could be placed on a laptop's processor to render the Li-ion cell completely unnecessary, or strapped onto a fireplace in order to generate electricity for gizmos around the house. Eneco insists that positive progress is being made towards producing an actual product (red flag?), and if all goes as planned, we could see the miracle-working chip available in "early 2008." We can't help but hand over a dash of credibility to these smart talkers, however, as the company is apparently already in cahoots with "Apple, Dell, Ford, BMW, and Boeing" to get the heavily-patented technology into their future products, but we're still taking all this in with a healthy serving of salt for now.[Via Slashdot]
Phantom attracts "interest," delays Lapboard yet again
Apparently these guys just don't know when to quit, and rather than ditching the Lapboard in the same way the gaming service was dismissed, the seemingly bogus company is making waves (and probably little more) yet again. Although Alienware has reportedly handed over an order for the firm's yet-to-be-seen wireless gaming keyboards, we still maintain little faith in the notoriously unreliable company to actually come through, and today its, um, brave CEO announced another unsurprising delay. This time, the delay is actually being attributed to an overwhelming "demand," as Phantom claims that "major manufacturers of media center PCs and distributors" are throwing down so many orders that the company won't be able to "begin air shipments to the US" until February 2007. While you can place your order now through its online webstore (not recommended), only orders received through October 31st are "promised" in that first wave of shipments. But for those who are rightfully gun shy about handing over your credit card info to a company with such an incredibly undependable track record, you can surely count on just picking one up from "major retail locations" in Q1 of next year.
The IZZ Box slices, dices, and may bring about world peace
Call us crazy, but when a company we've never heard of with no website issues a press release for an upcoming product that promises to "turn your TV into VOIP unit, Video Phone, Video email, Video Security system, Bluetooth, VOD, and a Personal broadcasting unit," we tend to get just a little bit skeptical (and spelling the device's name three different ways doesn't help). The firm we're referring to is IZZ Media Inc., a division of the ODWTV Network (proud owners of such "internet communities" as Infowebmercial, InfoWebLocal, and ODWTV -- go ahead, check out the sites!), which is preparing to launch the do-it-all IZZ Box (or iZZ Box, or IZZ BOX) sometime during the first quarter of next year. Based on the nascent RCXML markup language, IZZ (no relation to this little guy) supposedly hooks up to any set top box, and magically endows your television with nearly every feature you could ever imagine -- amazingly, it even converts it into "a Bluetooth." The main draw here seems to be its Slingbox-like ability to place-shift your multimedia content, but with all the nauseating buzzwords bandied about (convergence, integration, sustainability, standardization, etc, etc), it's almost impossible to separate the reality from the hype. Apparently IZZ was first previewed at the company's headquarters in Las Vegas this past August, and although it doesn't seem like there were any journalists on hand, the release assures us that it was indeed "a hit." We've certainly got to admire a self-proclaimed "new kind of consumer electronics company" whose goal is to "demystify convergence technologies and to create empowering experiences," but until we see their revolutionary product in action (even a picture would be a good start), we're filing this one in the vaporware cabinet right between FlipStart and Phantom.[Via PVRWire]
Phantom not quitting yet, game service delayed until 2007
In a resurrection of not-so-epic proportions, Phantom has seemingly not thrown in the towel just yet, as its latest announcement has shown (delayed) signs of life. Just when Infinium Entertainment shed its old skin and dubbed itself Phantom, we all had such high hopes that it might actually deliver on some promises (like giving back their shareholders some money, for one), but we suppose this latest delay isn't such a letdown considering the company is probably recovering from whatever caused it to vanish last month. Although Phantom's ever-elusive Lapboard is still on track for a November release (ahem), it has announced that its gaming service won't see any action until March 2007 "as part of a licensing and recoding effort" -- apparently its CEO is hoping the setback will give Phantom time to license its goods vaporware to "well-established PC and HTPC manufacturers." Whatever the case, we're just overrun with elation (ha) to hear that Phantom is alive and kicking, and be sure stay tuned for more late-breaking delays that are practically guaranteed to hit sometime before next March, or your money back.
Phantom gaming console disappears for good
In a shocking turn of events development that will surprise absolutely no one, the company formerly known as Infinium Labs has apparently removed all references to the all-too-aptly named Phantom PC video game console from its website, leading us to believe that the product that never was is finally dead in the water. Recently renamed Phantom Entertainment (probably to shed the constant vaporware references that plagued its former moniker), the company is now focused on marketing its wireless gaming Lapboard and so-called Phantom Game Service, which is the "first end-to-end on-demand game service delivering games to your living room" (guess they never heard of GameTap) -- that is, if you happen to have an XP-powered PC situated in that particular room. As is fitting for such a shady operation, the service itself is not actually live yet; they're busy modifying the software that was originally intended for the proprietary console to run on standard Windows machines. So in conclusion, the slippery company with grandiose aspirations that we've devoted numerous (mocking) posts to for over two years has exactly one source of revenue: a keyboard / mouse set with a pretty snazzy design.[Via Joystiq]
GASP: Phantom console fails to materialize
As tempting as it was to conjure up a "Phantom console CANCELLED" headline, the realization quickly set in that such a sensational piece of text simply wouldn't make any sense. How do you cancel something that never even existed to begin with? Zing, etc. It would appear that Phantom Entertainment has revamped their ball of lies website, quietly ushering in the demise of an imagined console and the arrival of an allusion to some sort of broadband game service. Said service is described as "the first end-to-end, on-demand game service delivering online games directly to your living room or any comfortable setting in your home or workplace." Fascinating, but since "the Company intends to modify the Phantom Game Service software to run as client software on personal computers operating Windows XP and Windows XP Media center operating systems," games will only be going to your living room should that be the location of your computer. First indeed.Further comedic value can be found in the "Who We Are" section, which duly describes the company as "an industry-leading, global entertainment and interactive game company." To be fair, it's probably the most truthful statement to be found on the entire website, as Phantom Entertainment is undoubtedly the leader of at least one industry and is frequently a provider of entertainment. Well, that and $129.95 Lapboards which, with the original console canned, barely have a reason to exist.[Thanks, delerious.]
With some effort, CNET compiles vaporware all-stars
CNET defines vaporware thus: "Vaporware n: Any piece of technology with equal and excessive numbers of promises and delays. It might be awesome, but you probably won't actually see it."The all-star angle precludes many of the criticisms we'd be prone to throw at their selections, but some still need to be addressed, namely the PS3. Hey, we were just as frustrated as the next blog over Sony's obvious equivocation and the steadfast Spring 2006 website, but you can hardly say it's vaporware. It was only delayed once and, even then, the only people that (purportedly) believed the original date were Sony themselves! Now the Phantom ... that's some primo, grade-A vaporware. 11. Earthbound64 / Mother 310. S.T.A.L.K.E.R.9. Fallout 38. Team Fortress 27. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess6. Playstation 35. Sam & Max: Freelanc Police4. Starcraft Ghost3. Prey2. Phantom Gaming System1. Duke Nukem ForeverOf course vaporware bullies like Duke Nukem Forever and the Phantom dominate the top spots, while the recently released Prey makes a strong showing, encouraging all those titles that are still in development that they too can see a retail shelf someday. It's glorious!
Infinium changes name to Phantom Entertainment
We're trying to overlook the glaring irony in "Phantom" Entertainment, especially since year after year this company has been the most prominent vaporware hit since Duke Nukem Forever, but we just can't ignore the latest bit in their Phantom's comedy of errors that now has our favorite gaming company officially changing name in hopes of "invigorating its marketing approach." The path forward as of a few months ago had Infinium getting ready and set to change their name, the Phantom Lapboard set for release in Q2 of this year (wait, that's right now), and their Phantom Game Service to follow suit, but in a recent blurb from CEO Greg Koler, he astoundingly couldn't provide announcement dates for either. Previously blaming the annoyance of lawsuits and an inability to come up with $11.5 million, we've yet to hear a more recent excuse as to why we should still put faith in the powers at Phantom, but they did accomplish one thing: changing that name, and issuing another six hundred million worthless shares of stock. Regardless of the never-ending delays, we're keeping our fingers crossed, because the new and (potentially) improved Phantom Entertainment could seriously rattle the gaming market, erm, someday. And in the mean time, let the pumping and dumping begin!
DNF: what's happened these nine long years?
We all know what George Broussard and his team at 3D Realms have been up to since they officially announced development of Duke Nukem Forever: they've been switching engines, winning awards, and remaining mum on when (though always insisting that it is coming) we'll get to see something -- anything -- about their increasingly long-in-the-tooth FPS. Now that another E3 has come and gone with nary a Bruce Campbell-cribbed peep from our favorite (at least he used to be ... I think) video game protagonist, one dedicated gamer decided to update "The List" of things that have happened since DNF was announced. Included in "The List":"When Duke Nukem Forever was announced, the fastest processor available to consumers was a 233Mhz Pentium. Since then the clock speed of consumer processors has increased over 16 times (32 times counting dual cores), and the fabrication process has decreased from 250nm to 65nm."But that's not all folks! Just to pour salt into that open wound, they've added a list of things that have taken less time than DNF has been in production, like: "The Beatles formed, released every single one of their albums and broke up. During this time they also toured the world several times."No pressure, guys. I'm sure these past ten years have been well spent, right? Right?![Thanks, Eli]
$500,000 offered to finish Duke Nukem Forever this year [update 3]
In an SEC filing, Take-Two brought up a rather sore (yet infamous) subject: Duke Nukem Forever. The uber-delayed project, in development since 1997 (remember 1997? Titanic won an Oscar) has been given some incentive to complete and release the game by December 31, 2006 -- $500,000 worth of incentive. While it may not seem like much (most commercial video games have multimillion dollar budgets), 3D Realms is currently being offered $4.25 million from Take-Two for the title's eventual release, down from the $6 million promised in their original -- apparently lapsed -- deal. See update 3 for the skinny on this mess.Does this mean we'll see Duke before 2007? Doubtful, but we could be wrong ...[update 1: where there was confusion, there is now clarity][update 2: silly Gamespot, the actual SEC filing says dollar amounts are listed in thousands, so their figure of $4,250 is off by a factor of, you guessed it, one thousand. With the $500,000 promissory, that means 3D Realms can still collect nearly 80% of their original contract ... if they manage to finish this thing. Thanks, nonpareil.)[update 3: newish games blog Metafuture has gotten to the bottom of this little mess. It wasn't just the figure that we had wrong, it was the payee as well. Indeed, Gamasutra reported on this over two months ago writing:"One other notable payment was the renegotiation of a $6 million charge due [to former publisher GT Interactive, now owned by Atari] upon delivery of the final PC version of Duke Nukem Forever back in March 2005. The epic delay of 3D Realms' shooter has meant that $4.25 million of the final milestone payment has already been paid, alongside the promise of a final $500,000 upon the commercial release of Duke Nukem Forever prior to December 31, 2006."So the $4.25 million has already been paid to Atari and the $500,000 is being offered to Atari and not 3D Realms. Got it? I think we do now. Apologies for the confusion.]
Infinium founder charged with using "impending Phantom launch" to inflate and sell stock
Timothy Roberts, the founder and former CEO of Infinium Labs, the company that promised us the Phantom (which came in at second on Wired's list of vaporware products of '06), has been accused by the Securities and Exchange Commission of artificially inflating stock and selling it on at a $422,500 profit. The SEC alleges that Roberts hired a promoter to send junk faxes to investors citing the Phantom's imminent launch, when in fact the console had postponed the launch due to insufficient funds. According to the SEC, Roberts then sold 1.3 million shares from the company -- without any disclosure -- and secretly paid the promoter he had hired. These two actions, unfortunately for Roberts, are against the law: the SEC has asked a court to force Roberts to surrender the cash, pay a penalty and to prohibit him from ever becoming a CEO again.Meanwhile, the company -- sans Roberts -- has blown through $63 million without producing the Phantom and has lost another CEO yet still claims to be relevant and capable of launching The Phantom along with a useless lap-based keyboard accessory. Someone put the company out of its misery. Pretty please?[Thanks, Neal]
Duke Nukem for never!
If you're anything like us, you're at least five years past caring about what 3D Realms has to say regarding its Duke Nukem Forever project. Even 3D Realms' George Broussard knows this: in the company's latest statement on the subject of the definition of vaporware, George says that "the problem is that when we show it, people are going to be like, 'Yeah, whatever'." George can hardly blame "people" for not caring about a game that's been in development for nearly ten years, but at least he's being realistic about the situation. At the moment the game's publisher, Take Two, seems to be the only group at all interested in the game. The company has paid out a total of US$4.25 million in the hope that they may see some sort of return. Good luck to them (and their dwindling stock) we say!
TiVoToGo for Mac named in Wired's 2005 Vaporware Awards
Remember those TiVoToGo OS X screenshots we came across in early January? Wired's readers do, and they nominated it as the #10 vaporware (a much-hyped product that never appears) of 2005 in Wired's annual Vaporware Awards. TiVo has apparently been promising the software for months, amidst Apple TiVo partnership rumors and rampant speculation about a Mac mini TiVo (or TiVo-like) media center.Another mentionable 2005 vaporware item, though not necessarily Apple-related, is the perpetually forthcoming Windows Vista, clocking in at number 4. I just have to tip my hat to one reader's comment that Wired printed: "It's been put off so many times, it's been called 'Hasta la Vista.'"My favorite Apple-related piece of vaporware? The Apple Pippin.
Duke Nukem Forever "in full production"
Yes, folks, it's still alive and kicking - everyone's favorite vaporware is "in full production" according to George Broussard, co-founder of 3D Realms. In an interview with 1up, towards the end, Broussard chats about the status of Duke Nukem Forever, the unfortunately-apt title to the game over a decade in development. Hail to the King, baby! According to Broussard, "there's a lot that's finished. All the guns are finished. Most of the creatures are finished...we're just basically pulling it all together and trying to make it fun." So, there you have it, an actual status update on Duke Nukem Forever. If they get their act together, 2006 may be the year pigs fly - then again, we predicted that Duke Nukem Forever still would not come out in 2006, and whose to argue with us?[via Voodoo Extreme; image taken from the 2001 trailer]
