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Zero Punctuation whips it good with Lego Indy
Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee takes on both the Lego Indiana Jones game and the latest movie in his latest review. For his take on the game, the ornery critic comes up with an equation for figuring out how much you'll enjoy playing as Indy in the blockified platformer. If doing mathematicals isn't your thing, just think about how much fun you'll have killing Short Round -- or Willie -- over and over again. Although it still doesn't beat the cathartic Jar-Jar killing of the Lego Star Wars game. This week's NSFW ZP review of Lego Indy can be found after the break.
Readers pick best webcomic, with or without Yahtzee
Yeah, we figured the Zero Punctuation would do well in the webcomic wrapup, by a large margin. Here's how it breaks down, with and without the Yahtzee factor:With the Yahtzee Factor Zero Punctuation (65.3%) (TIE) Monday Night Crew (9.2%) (TIE) Castle Vidcons (9.2%) Without the Yahtzee Factor (TIE) Monday Night Crew (26.5%) (TIE) Castle Vidcons (26.5%) PVP Online (17.6%) Thanks to everyone voted. We'll be going Yahtzee-less from now on; be sure to let us know of any game-related webcomics you stumble upon this week!
Weekly Webcomic Wrapup, now with more Yahtzee
Given the subject matter of this week's Zero Punctuation, we thought we'd throw Yahtzee into the webcomic poll to see how he fares. Also, we're looking for the best gaming webcomic (strip, not series), so let us know your all-time favorite in the comments below.Here are our picks for the week's best game-related webcomic. Polling after the break; be sure to vote for your favorite!Dark or Not ... (MNC)Third Time is a Charm (Extra Life)010 (Super Effective)Welcome Back (PVP Online)How to Make a Gaming Webcomic (Zero Punctuation)Weather or Not (8-bit Theater)Restoring Past Glory (Castle Vidcons)Baddest Company (2P Start)
Zero Punctuation draws out the webcomic template
This week's Zero Punctuation takes a long, hard and ironic look at the glut of gaming webcomics. Yes, Yahtzee fully realizes the hypocrisy of his words, but that's not going to stop him from flinging poo and keeping those traffic numbers high. We imagine it getting weird when Yahtzee's piece about webcomics spawns more comics about the subject and proves everything he's saying in the first place.The NSFW ZP review of webcomics can be found after the break.
NINJA GAIDEN 2 presents: Zero Punctuation's MGS4 review
By the time the Zero Punctuation video review of Metal Gear Solid 4 ended, we still had another two and a half minutes of commercials to watch. Given our dire attention spans, we'd completely forgotten what had happened! But those ads sure are spiffy ... Wasn't it cool how Ryu Hyuwhatshisname from Ninja Gaiden II chopped those guys in half? Ninja Gaiden II is awesome! We should all go out and buy Ninja Gaiden II, right now!... If you want to watch this week's review of ... what was it again? Oh, MGS4. Check it out after the break. Hey, did you see that ad for de-rez?
Yahtzee takes on Solid Snake and loses
Sometimes you have to wonder whether Yahtzee enjoys playing any games. This week he predictably lays into Metal Gear Solid 4 for exactly the reasons we expected. He dislikes the amount and length of the cutscenes , which are fair points. We know a lot of people can't get passed the heavy story. He goes on to label the gameplay cluttered and says that the entire series is badly written. Strong words. Obviously we don't agree with what Yahtzee says, but the video is still hilarious -- and in the end, that's what Zero Punctuation is all about. Ignore the complaints for what they are, vehicles for his unique brand of humor. Our favorite part of this week's episode has to be the insinuation that Snake and Otacon are more than just good friends. We must say, it crossed our mind at times while we were playing through the game, too.[Thanks Outinthedark & konungr]
Zero Punctuation makes war, not love with Haze
OK, we have a situation. Yahtzee's latest Zero Punctuation piece couldn't knock one out of the park with such a simple target like Haze. Even standard reviews did a good job roasting it. The curmudgeon expat still trashes the game, but it's like he received a Nectar injection and was fighting the effects as he put together the review ... seriously, we're talking about the game that can already be found for $40. We're hoping this week's review is merely a hiccup and that Haze will finally sink in on Yahtzee, making him go ballistic next week.Due to technical difficulties we are unable to post ZP after the break. Please click the image above to see this week's episode.
Haze + Zero Punctuation = ?
Well, what do you think is going to happen? The ever-popular Yahtzee gets his hands on the PS3 FPS Haze. Guess what happens next. Tons of comparisons to Halo (and Turok) will be made ... and no one will be left standing.Watch it here.
Zero Punctuation vs. Oblivion [Update]
Update: We're experiencing issues with the embedded video player from The Escapist. To watch the video you can click through to Zero Punctuation's section of The Escapist site by clicking the image above.Zero Punctuation has decided to reach into a bag marked, "Games History Deemed Better Than Life" to find out exactly what the appeal is. Victim number one is everyone's favorite open world role-playing game, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. From Bethesda, the guys working on the upcoming Fallout 3, Oblivion takes players on an epic adventure that Yahtzee suspects is really just a poor copy and paste extravaganza. Of course, the video is NSFW and can be found after the jump.
Zero Punctuation not lovin' Oblivion
To refill his rage this week, Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee took a trip back to the simpler time of 2006 and grabbed a copy of The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion off the new release shelf. Being a Western RPG, instead of a JRPG, the game actually stood a small chance of stealing Yahtzee's artificial heart. Of course, the problems with the voice acting and immersion that plagued the game when it first released haven't aged well. Yahtzee obviously takes the opportunity to jam a lead pipe into Oblivion and hoover out every last bit of hate he can. Find this week's NSFW ZP review of the game where Patrick Stewart plays the emperor for about 10 minutes after the break.
Zero Punctuation unhappily discovers The World Ends With You
Zero Punctuation discovers The World Ends With You this week. This sudden realization has caused him to send his vast internet army to your house and kill you. Really! Run! Actually, The World Ends With You is a JRPG that's been getting some strongly supportive reviews from several outlets that do that reviewing sort of thing. As any disciple of Yahtzee knows at this point, he hates JRPGs and Nintendo -- the jury is still out though on which one he hates more. TWEWY gets off easy in this review by confusing Yahtzee to the point where he can't form an opinion and leaves it up to the audience. Find this week's NSFW ZP review of another Japanese game with kids who have gravity defying hair after the break.
Zero Punctuation Ends the World
With such a vast catalog of high-profile, big-budget console games under his reviewing belt, Yahtzee risks life and limb this week to review The World Ends with You on the DS. It may be known around these parts as a stellar action-RPG with outrageous originality and style, but we're well aware that no amount of praise can stop that affable British chap from offering a hefty serving of hate.It's certainly a unique genre to tackle, and we know everyone is totally ready to accept his criticism in the most professional manner possible. Well, maybe not, but it makes for a funny video all the same! Hit the break for the full review.%Gallery-11943%
Zero Punctuation pops old Painkiller for fun
Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee rocks it old school this week in a trip down "kill everything you see" lane with a review of Painkiller. Way back in 2004, which if internet time is converted to normal time is circa 1674, Painkiller received better-than-average reviews by embracing the first-person shooter genre like it was the '90s and Doom was still en vogue. So, this week Yahtzee talks about the game "where you kill tons of dudes" and gets comfortable for the relatively dry summer release schedule ... well, winter for him. Find this week's NSFW ZP review of a game featuring a gun that shoots shuriken and lightning after the break.
Zero Punctuation visits Liberty City
Yahtzee's latest Zero Punctuation review this week is none other than everyone's favorite crime simulator, Grand Theft Auto IV. While he (of course) does his best to pick the game's fault apart one by one, Yahtzee still comes across as actually liking the game. Fans of ZP will know that this is high praise indeed (though we imagine it will still spark nasty, hate-filled emails from GTA fanboys). As for the negatives, the review makes note of wonky driving, escort missions, and the constant need to entertain Niko's friends. Beyond such criticisms though, the review deigns to call Grand Theft Auto IV "really good." Find the review embedded after the break.[Thanks, webster1990]
Zero Punctuation enjoys Grand Theft Auto-rotica
Zero Punctuation takes on Grand Theft Auto IV this week, but if you're one of the five people who didn't buy the game and are hoping for some ZP hate-fest on par with the Super Smash Bros. Brawl review ... then you have another thing coming. Yahtzee doesn't exactly suck GTA IV's "thumb" -- like he does Valve's -- but the issues he grasps onto are relatively minor points about getting lost in the side stuff. Not really full of his trademark, hyperbolic bile then. Shockingly, he even says that after finishing the review, he went back and played the game some more. It appears Niko Bellic has found a friend in Yahtzee.Find this week's NSFW relative non-hate review of GTA IV after the break.
Zero Punctuation reviews fanboys
Apparently Yahtzee found the fanboy uproar over his Super Smash Bros. Brawl review so irritating that this week's Zero Punctuation is dedicated to reviewing the unpaid console defenders out there. Yahtzee finds his rage again this week and lashes out in a way that many professionals who make their living off the internet wish they could. Not us, of course, we're too heavily medicated and just allow the sea of hate to wash over us in waves of brilliant pinks and purples. Numbness is the first step to professional happiness on the internetz.Find Yahtzee's NSFW love-letter to fanboys after the break.
Zero Punctuation takes on the God of War
Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee isn't content with taking on just God of War: Chains of Olympus this week. No, he takes on the whole bloody franchise. What we end up getting is almost four minutes of Yahtzee admitting that he's nitpicking and that the series helps give us relief from our 9 8:30 to 5 6 (with a half-hour lunch break) lives. The trademark Yahtzee anger just isn't there in this review, but considering it was overflowing in last week's Smash Bros. piece, an easing of tension might be good for a week.This week's NSFW review eviscerating God of War: Chains of Olympus can be found after the break.
Zero Punctuation reviews God of War: Chains of Olympus
Yahtzee, popular narrator of the video game review series "Zero Punctuation" has a new review this week for the system-selling Grand Theft Auto IV God of War: Chains of Olympus. PSP fans may be unfamiliar with the host's brutally honest (and hilarious) takes on today's most popular games -- you're in for a treat. Watch, and tell us if you agree. [Thanks, Outinthedark!]
Zero Punctuation beats up Smash Bros. Brawl ... you're surprised?
This is the Zero Punctuation that'll make the Nintendo Defense Force mobilize and threaten nuclear annihilation. This week Yahtzee takes on one of the Wii's golden cows with his review wholesale bludgeoning of Super Smash Bros. Brawl. For those just joining the ZP party, Yahtzee doesn't like Nintendo very much. If you love SSBB, great. If you don't like it, that's great too. Just sit back and enjoy the review for the spectacle in hatred it is.Fanboys, prepare for masochism after the break with this week's NSFW review of Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
Zero Punctuation has zero tolerance for Brawl
Oh dear. This isn't going to be pretty. We're going to hazard a guess that Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw's opinion of Super Smash Bros. Brawl doesn't exactly coincide with the view taken by most of our readers -- frankly, it sounds like he hated every minute of Nintendo's scrapper.But before you start punching out that hate-filled, trembling-with-rage email to the man, stop right there and hear him out, because you may just find yourself agreeing with some of his points -- even we had to concede that a number of his grievances have bugged us in the past. With that in mind, take some deep breaths and head past the break for one of the most venomous Zero Punctuation reviews to date, and the usual dose of NSFW language.
