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Yahtzee's novel Mogworld available for pre-order
Although the Massively staff often has difficulty reading books, what with their "walls of text" and poor graphics engine, we'd be remiss to ignore this terrific news. Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, better known as "That Zero Punctuation Guy," is looking to increase his considerable fame and fortune by heading into the literary world with his debut novel Mogworld. The profanely amusing game critic has become well-known for his verbal barrages against titles like EVE Online and Age of Conan, as well as being an amateur game designer in his spare time. As a comedic fantasy, Yahtzee claims to draw from his MMO experience for Mogworld: In a world full to bursting with would-be heroes, Jim couldn't be less interested in saving the day. His fireballs fizzle. He's awfully grumpy. Plus, he's been dead for about sixty years. When a renegade necromancer wrenches him from eternal slumber and into a world gone terribly, bizarrely wrong, all Jim wants is to find a way to die properly, once and for all. On his side, he's got a few shambling corpses, an inept thief, and a powerful death wish. But he's up against tough odds: angry mobs of adventurers, a body falling apart at the seams and a team of programmers racing a deadline to hammer out the last few bugs in their AI. You can pre-order Mogworld on Amazon.com or by staking out a nice, comfy spot at your local book retailer.
GameX 2009: Victorian spaceships with Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw
Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw of the infamous Zero Punctuation reviews on The Escapist is a bit tricky to track down, but we were able to get some time in with him at this year's GameX in Philadelphia. We pitched the fast talking reviewer some questions to get his opinion on the MMO genre beyond his reviews of Tabula Rasa and EVE Online, and found out some interesting things -- like victorian steampunk spaceships are awesome. So what breaks the MMO genre for Yahtzee? Will more MMOs be smash... er... featured on Zero Punctuation? If you're wondering the answers to these questions, then wonder no more! Just click on through after the break to check out our video interview!
Happy 4th of July! Here's Alex Mercer with boobs, Cole McGrath in a bikini
In the celebration of all things great and American, we're proud to present the characters of inFamous and Prototype cross-dressing. YAY! (See inFamous' Cole after the break.)Okay, so you're probably wondering where these images came from. Yahtzee presented a challenge to the development teams of these two games after he couldn't decide which game was better in a recent episode of Zero Punctuation. So, he jokingly said the "winner" would be whichever team sends in an image of the other game's protagonist cross-dressing.And now the world is a much better place.
Zero Punctuation lovity love loves Duke Nukem Forever
It's finally happened! Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee speaks glorificously about a title without the distinct smell of [edited] having been [edited] in his [edited] by someone from Valve or Double Fine. Duke Nukem Forever is the masterpiece that made the once bad boy of game reviews open his heart and learn to love again like an overused British analogy that we should write here.Anyway, it's been a long time coming, but any love Duke Nukem Forever can receive deserves to be spread far and wide on the internets. That game is awesome! Check out the ZP review at The Escapist as the embed doesn't seem to work given the game's fantabulousness.
Zero Punctuation chainsawdomizes Gears of War 2
After what seems like a breathless eternity, Yahtzee has finally reviewed Gears of War 2 for Zero Punctuation. The verdict: He likes it. Naturally, he levels a few complaints at the game, most notably the strange abundance of chest-high walls on the planet Sera. Overall, the review praises the game as a good mainstream title with a a healthy amount of variety (a little too much variety in the case of level design). Find the review after the break.Update: Ahem, now the video is after the break.
M-rated Tomb Raider a possibility?
Eidos recently laid off 30 employees at Crystal Dynamics, including Tomb Raider: Underworld creative director Eric Lindstrom. Understandably bitter about Eidos' cost-cutting, Lindstrom is now answering fan questions on a popular Tomb Raider fan forum, giving an intriguing and frank insight into the development process (including details Eidos probably didn't want publicized).One of the more interesting factoids to emerge from Lindstrom's open Q & A session is that Crystal Dynamics was held back by Eidos from making Underworld an M-rated title. "I wanted to do things that a Teen rating prevented," explained Lindstrom, "but I also wanted it to get the players the first unrated games, did. In the end it didn't matter because publishing wanted it to be Teen."So far, the Tomb Raider franchise has contained only Teen-rated games, but was a Mature title still a possibility? Says Lindstrom: "The managers who said it had to be Teen left some time ago, so maybe that could change sometime." We assume such a game would either include more violence, or, as some sites have been quick to suggest, a more risqué depiction of Lara.Though something evidently has to change after Underworld's disappointing sales, does anybody else find such a prospect depressing? We'd prefer it if Eidos concentrated on shipping games that, y'know, functioned correctly. Also, while we're discussing Underworld, we figured this would be an appropriate place to mention the Zero Punctuation review, which just popped up in our RSS feeds -- catch the video after the jump!%Gallery-29889%
Zero Punctuation takes on Sonic Unleashed
In this week's Zero Punctuation, imperator of ire and maharajah of moodiness Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw has taken time out to sling a few quick-witted barbs at Sonic Unleashed.True to form, Yahtzee quickly sets about smacking Unleashed down a peg or ten; in fact, this could be one of the angriest pieces we've seen from Croshaw in some time. It didn't totally agree with our own mainly scathing review, either: for one, he seems to prefer the Werehog Wolfhog stages (madness, we say, but horses for courses, and all that), and for two, we actually quite liked the day stages, whereas Yahtzee is revulsed.%Gallery-19031%
Zero Punctuation almost, sort of likes Left 4 Dead
It's been a while since we've checked in with our old friend Yahtzee, so we were eager to hear his thoughts on one of our favorite games in recent memory: Left 4 Dead. And guess what?! He didn't hate it! ... Well, since we're still in Reality Prime, he had plenty of mean things to say about it, but he was probably as nice as he could be without some sort of dimensional shift.See how much of his assessment you agree with in the video right here.
Zero Punctuation takes on Left 4 Dead
As a general rule of thumb, if you really like a particular game -- and if you're easily riled -- it's a good idea not to watch the Zero Punctuation review of said game. And yet, here we are. We have something of a crush on around Fanboy Towers and it was with some trepidation that we watched Left 4 DeadZero Punctuation's review. As it turns out, Yahtzee doesn't completely dismember the game, though he doesn't outright praise it either. More or less the review outlines what most have said. The co-op is fun, the level selection is a bit limited but overall the game is well designed. The verdict: it's up to you to guage whether or not the fun to be had in Left 4 Dead is worth the price of admission.Check out the review after the break (as usual, the video contains some language that is NSFW).
Guitar Hero World Tour gets Yahtzeed
For his latest Zero Punctuation review, renowned intertubes misanthrope Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw has cast his jaded eye over Activision's Guitar Hero: World Tour.Things start off well between reviewer and game (though Rock Band's troubled relationship with Australia undoubtedly has something to do with this) but Yahtzee soon finds assorted holes to pick at, with some of his targets including the pointlessness of Spanish language songs in an English language release, the new slide bar on World Tour's guitars, and the game's credentials as a karaoke simulator. Hit up The Escapist for the review in full or simply jump past the break.%Gallery-23491%
Zero Punctuation force chokes The Force Unleashed
It's been a while since master of misanthropy Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw was featured on these pages, but now he's back, in full sneering mode, with a scathing review of the colossally popular Star Wars: The Force Unleashed. Like many of us, Yahtzee hoped the Wii's motion-sensing capabilities would open the door to a whole new galaxy of light saber swish-a-thons that worked, only to be disappointed.His ire is eventually directed towards the "temperamental" Wii Remote, which he describes as "like playing any other console but with all the buttons randomly reassigned every couple of seconds." Ouch. Bound past the jump for the full, NSFW review.%Gallery-33998%
Zero Punctuation is unimpressed with Spore
Oh come now, don't look so surprised, you had to know this was coming. After Will Wright spent a stone cold decade building his delicate sand castle of simulated life, did you really think Yahtzee would be able to resist letting his editorial foot careen through the spires, coating young Will's glasses in sand and tears? Of course not.Yahtzee reiterates most of the complaints about Spore you've heard from reviewers already, but at least he does it a lot more entertainingly than most of them. Check it out after the break.
Behold the Zero Punctuation Too Human review
Just when we all thought that the lumbering storm cloud that washed Too Human's existence with unrestrained negativity (or "mixed" positivity, depending on how you look at it), we remembered something: Zero Punctuation. As a man who loves to hate, we imagine there was no way Yahtzee would pass up a game like Too Human. It is, in his opinion, universally bad and apparently has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. To anyone who enjoys the game (frankly, we've been a bit addicted), you have been warned. Everyone else, find the review after the break.
Zero Punctuation braves interstellar spreadsheets in EVE Online
Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee has reached geek culture superstardom by sacrificing sacred cows. By profanely slamming popular franchises such as Halo and Super Smash Bros., he's brought down the wrath -- and the web traffic -- of virtually the entire gaming community. There's a running joke through many of his animated reviews, though: he hates MMORPGs.Both Tabula Rasa and Age of Conan got the full treatment, and Yahtzee has even criticized some single-player games (such as The Witcher) just for sharing gameplay elements with MMORPGs. His fans apparently thought he was being a bit too harsh. "Not all MMORPGs are the same," they presumably said. "Try EVE Online. It's different!"And so he did. It turns out that "different" might be in the eye of the beholder. Or just as likely, MMORPGs can never be different enough for Yahtzee! The humorous (and as usual, NSFW) video review is embedded above, courtesy of The Escapist.
Zero Punctuation tangles with Braid
The latest Zero Punctuation tackles the time bending XBLA title, Braid. Yahtzee's opinion is somewhat mixed, taking note of the well designed puzzles but also noting that the game reused certain puzzles and that some puzzles require players to restart a level if failed, which Yahtzee describes as a "dick move." Another complaint is leveled at the story, which the review cites as pretentious and unnecessarily confusing. Overall though, the gameplay seems to triumph over any flaws. Check out the video after the break (NSFW due to language).
Zero Punctuation apparently missed the actual E3
This week's Zero Punctuation makes us wonder: What E3 is Yahtzee talking about? Perhaps things seemed different from the outside, but this year's show actually saw a slew of original titles -- shockingly enough, many from the maw of EA. Sure, there is some serious sequelitus going on (and certain outlets really need to stop riding RE4 v2 RE5's rooster), but we were pleasantly surprised by some of the new IPs. Oh well, no sense in trying to convey some semblance of reason here. Carry on with the amusing hate.Check out Yahtzee's NSFW take on E3 after the break.
Zero Punctuation reviews Age of Conan
Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw is the naughty charismatic pontificating stallion behind Zero Punctuation, the hilarious weekly videogame review web program. It's not often Croshaw will review an MMORPG, so it is apropos to share the latest Zero Punctuation with the new roast target being Age of Conan. The review itself contains naughty words making it: NSFW. Reviewing MMORPGs isn't an easy endeavor. The MMORPG is a beast, various systems, game mechanics, and time sinks to wade through to get from beginning to the end. To give an honest and fair shake it takes hundreds hours of investment for the reviewer to familiarize and formulate a real knowledgeable opinion. MMORPGs aren't fair in that regard, and reviews aren't very sticky since most MMOs are undergoing constant development. But come on, it's Zero Punctuation!
Zero Punctuation visits Conan in Hyboria
No matter how much the hardcore MMORPG crowd may want to deny it, almost every game in the genre wants to be, or wishes it could have been, World or Warcraft. This week's Zero Punctuation says as much, with Yahtzee trying to enjoy his Hyborian adventure but wandering into familiar -- but not quite right -- WoW territory. Check out the NSFW review of Age of Conan after the break.
Zero Punctuation unleashes the fury on Alone in the Dark
Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee has himself an awful game this week with Alone in the Dark, and he uses the opportunity for all that it's worth. This is a classic episode for the amount of ire it dishes out. Yes, it's everything one expects from Yahtzee reviewing Edward Carnby's latest misadventure in the well-intentioned, but ultimately flawed, game.The NSFW clip can be found after the break.
Zero Punctuation whips Indy into shape
Yahtzee's at it again, this time turning his sights toward the latest LEGO title, LEGO Indiana Jones. While he does do his usual rant against the game's faults, Yahtzee did manage to squeeze some favorable adjectives out. As usual, head past the break to check out his NSFW ramblings and be sure to tell us what you think of LEGO Indiana Jones in the comments.%Gallery-15539%
