zero-punctuation
Latest
Zero Punctuation disembowels Phantom Hourglass
We've all played or heard of The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass. We all know that everyone who played it loved it. Let's move on. Wait ... what's that? Not everyone loved it? Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, in fact, despised it?Apparently so! But hating on a game is never as amusing as it is in The Escapist's "Zero Punctuation," so we don't mind. We found this review to be rather funny. If you don't feel like your poor heart can take it, though, feel free to watch some other reviews of Phantom Hourglass that involve girl cosplayers.Warning: The audio in this video makes it NSFW. Oh, and there's some bad visual bits, too.[Thanks, Brian!]
Zero Punctuation hates on Zelda: Phantom Hourglass
This week on Zero Punctuation, the ornery Yahtzee puts into video form (after the break) the same basic ideas discussed on the last Joystiq podcast regarding Zelda: Phantom Hourglass. Luckily for Yahtzee, he's embedded in Uluru and need not fear reprisals like most members of the gaming press do when speaking ill of Zelda. Everything he says about the Zelda franchise and Nintendo has pretty much been said before, just not in a sexy, angry, British accent using a grab-bag of verbs and adjectives. The real kudos (you know, for people who don't fear for their life) come at the end of the piece when he implies that the next time Nintendo wants to make another Zelda... they should just make Okami.[Thanks Sam]
'Zero Punctuation' covers Super Paper Mario, gives us lulz
If you've been around the internets, you might have heard of a fellow named Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw. If not, we can assure you that you're missing out. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of experiencing Mr. Croshaw, let us explain. Every week he does a video game review for The Escapist aptly titled "Zero Punctuation," since he never seems to take a breath between words and sentences. So, why did we wait so long to bring this joy to you? Well, because "Yahtzee" did his first review of a Wii game, huzzah! That's right, folks, we bring to you a "Yahtzee" review of Super Paper Mario. Even when he's being downright mean (er, all the time), we have to love him because he makes us laugh in the process.Now that we've built up this video so much that it won't meet your expectations (oops), watch away! But fair warning: Mr. Croshaw's potty mouth and vulgarities make this video slightly NSFW.
Zero Punctuation irons out Super Paper Mario
This week the British-born Yahtzee, who harnesses his rage on the outskirts of Brisbane, Australia, takes on Super Paper Mario. Yes, he knows it's old, but apparently the Australians just got it. So, for many, this will be like a review down memory lane -- as others relive their own issues with the title.Does Yahtzee like the "new" Paper Mario? You can find out for yourself after the break, but we'll tell you he liked the old ones better. Considering the Wii is fully backwards compatible with the Gamecube, it's worth reminding newcomers to the series of the excellent Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door. It's not much of a step backwards in graphics and the gameplay is as good as ever.
Zero Punctuation joins the Portal love fest
This week Zero Punctuation reviews The Orange Box. While the review begins by concentrating on Half-Life 2: Episode 2, perhaps the most surprising bit concerns Portal, The Orange Box's mind bending puzzler. What's surprising is that Yahtzee positively adores the game (and hates himself for doing so). In fact, he likes the game so much he can't think of anything to criticize. Nothing. Even the short length of the title escapes his cynical clutches. Check out the (NSFW) review after the break.
Zero Punctuation hates on Tabula Rasa
If you've been paying attention to the Escapist's Zero Punctuation reviews, then you've caught on that the whole point is to listen to some British guy hate on a game for a few minutes (the exception being the Psychonauts review where he just hates on people who didn't buy it). The latest review from "Yahtzee" has him hating on Tabula Rasa. As Americans (or, at least, Escapist editors) seem to love listening to British accents getting all uppity and nit-pick on things in absurdest Monty Python-esque statements, this Tabula Rasa review (found after the break) is another entertaining stroll of Yahtzee's breathless rage.
Zero Punctuation reviews Halo 3, hates it
Continuing a tradition of throwing spitefully negative reviews in the face of overwhelmingly positive reception, The Escapist's angry video-reviewer Yahtzee has turned his sights on Bungie's Halo 3 -- and you better believe that it's enough to make the Sony and Nintendo Defense Forces blush. Yahtzee's spitting-mad review might be in part a reaction to the high demand for it; he proudly admits to having had no intention of reviewing the megaton first-person shooter until an inordinate number of requests -- and his editor -- forced him to. Still, it's always refreshing to hear unabashedly critical reactions to a game that's largely been walking on water. Catch the carnage after the break.
Zero Punctuation reviews Halo 3, brace yourselves
There really isn't much to say about Zero Punctuation's review of Halo 3. Suffice it to say this -- and this really applies to all ZP reviews -- if you like the game in question, prepare to disagree. Yeah, that's pretty much all we could come up with to introduce the video for which this post was written. Prepare yourself for a rapid-fire dissection of Halo 3. If you're among the millions of Halo fans out there, you should probably take your chill pill before you watch. Those of you simply waiting for the constant outpour of Halo-related news to cease should sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.[Via Evil Avatar]
