Well, kids, if you like your USB drives with a little style, a little kitsch, and far too large to be carried conveniently, a gentleman named Robotic Evil, Inc. has just the thing for you. The evil one is hard at work as we speak, taking 2GB thumb drives and placing them in the artifacts of genuine geek nostalgia. Really, who wouldn't want to receive a hand-assembled computer peripheral in the shape of an Atari game cartridge or an NES controller? These things cost $29.99 (add another $5 for shipping and handling) and they're available at this dude's Etsy store. Check out the NES controller / drive yourself after the break.

[Via BoingBoing]

As you know, Windows 7 pre-orders begin today (unless you're lucky enough to be in Europe, that is). This of course begs the question: what is a Win7-aspiring netbook owner to do? External optical drives are pretty kludgey, in our estimation, and trip to the Geek Squad? Out of the question. According to CNET, a "source" of some sort is goin' around saying that Microsoft is planning on making the OS available on USB thumb drives for the ultra-portable market, although we feel that such devices are best left to the college students who rely on campus computer labs -- or the occasional J.Lo album. As for Microsoft, they've said nothing about any of this, although we have noticed that its online store has all three upgrades (Home Premium, Professional, and Ultimate) available for pre-order download (at $49.99, $99.99, and $219.99 respectively). Problem solved, right?

This isn't the first time Buffalo's blown our minds with its lilliputian tech. The WiFi dongle, you have to admit, was pretty sweet. What can we say about the 5mm Thumbkey drive? For starters, it's really small. And it has a 16GB capacity. And it''ll cost you about $136 when it goes on sale (any day now). Sure, that's a tad pricey for a device that lacks gears and rubies -- but did we mention how small this thing is?

[Via OhGizmo!]

Listen up, steampunkers: Have you been having a hard time finding an appropriate USB thumb drive to wear on a gold chain next to your pocket watch? Artype's 16GB Mechanical Memory Key is a handcrafted beaut, with materials that include Purpleheart for the case and twenty-six rubies. When this device is drawing USB power it glows green from beneath the gears, taking you back to your days as a hacker during the reign of Queen Victoria. Sadly, the device pictured above has already been sold, but at $165 a pop we're sure this particular artisan has plenty more of these guys in the works. Two more glamor shots for you after the break.

[Via Boing Boing]

Still haven't found a USB drive small enough for your needs? Then you might want to consider EagleTec's new Nano flash drive now available from the ever dependable folks at Brando, which measures an impossibly tiny 19 x 15 x 6 mm and weighs in at a mere three grams. Despite that size, however, you'll still get a fairly generous 4GB or 8GB of storage ($22 and $33, respectively), and an included lanyard that'll let you attach it to something you're less likely to misplace, though you're on your own keeping the drive's cap from wandering off.

[Via OhGizmo]

With corporate espionage on the rise, you just cannot be too careful, right? We've all heard the horror stories: Someone takes a spreadsheet home to do a little number crunching on his personal PC and, next thing you know, some ne'er-do-wells in Tehran have the specs for the President's personal helicopter. Well, the brain trust at Fujitsu Labs has put its collective heads together and come up with a pair of new technologies aimed at preventing sensitive information from getting into the wrong hands. First, the "secure USB memory device" is a thumb drive containing a processor and a battery. Data security policies can be set to delete data after a specific period of time or if the drive is accessed by an unauthorized computer -- handy if the thing gets lost or misplaced. Second, the company's "file redirect technology" restricts the data to the USB memory device itself, or to a specified server. The company is currently conducting internal trials of the technology, but we'll let you know as soon as we see one of these bad boys in the wild.

[Via Akihabara News]

If you felt that LaCie's CurrenKey ultraportable storage solution was a bit too heavy in the yuks department, the company's back with something that might be a little more up your proverbial alley. With a form factor that reminds one of a late-night ad for a correspondence course in locksmithing, these miniature microSD card readers offer 20MB/s read and 10MB/s write speeds. Additionally, PassKey supports microSDHC cards, and both iamaKey and itsaKey are available with either 4GB or 8GB of built-in storage. Sure, this guy won't open a cold one for you, but the shock-proof, Windows ReadyBoost-compatible device does look good on a keyring. You know, if that's what you're into. Price and availability to be announced.

[Thanks, Dwayne]