In a move sure to bring the polygraph haters out of the woodwork, the US Army is issuing a handheld lie detector to select soldiers in Afghanistan in order to "root out potential terrorists" and help "narrow the list of suspects after a roadside bombing." The DoD isn't asserting that the device is perfect, but it's hoping the detection capabilities are accurate enough to save American lives and sniff out allegiances that may have otherwise gone unnoticed. Hailed as PCASS (Preliminary Credibility Assessment Screening System), the underlying unit is a TDS Ranger that relies on three sensors connected to a respondent and integrated software that uses Green to signify truth, Yellow if it can't decide and Red if it recognizes a filthy liar on the other end. Nevertheless, we're certain Lafayette Instrument Company is stoked about the deal -- you know, considering that the Army has already purchased 94 of 'em at $7,500 apiece.

[Thanks, ladderless]

Remember the good ol' days when artists mocked religious deities and the only uprising to fear was that of the apes? Now, thanks to Doo Sung Yoo's "Lie" exhibit, we can add disembodied, robotic cow tongues to the list of imminent revolts. "Mooo...bzzz...oooo" will be the battle cry of our future overlords. Read-on for the yukgastic video. Trust us, you'll want to turn the sound up to 11 when they zoom in.

[Via BoingBoing]

While most of the world simply takes what everyone else says at face value, there's always been a dark market for inconspicuous lie-detecting gadgetry for the overly paranoid, but researchers at Cornell University are hoping to take lie-detection to the next level by carefully analyzing emails and SMS messages for fibs. In a three-year effort to "compile a list of indicators of written deception," the team drew from some "40 years of research in linguistics and lies, including recent work in the context of computer media and reviews of Enron emails." By carefully inspecting word choices, verb tenses, and a variety of other textual factors, the software can purportedly use "contextual parameters" to spot lies, and they hope to market the goods to police agencies, upset spouses, and of course, corporate ethics committees.So if you're ever-so-suspicious significant other (or mischievous youngster) has just recently put down the Skype headset in favor of pounding out emails, rest assured, help is on the way.

[Via TechDirt, image via Cornell]

Sure, there's quite a few ways to sniff out fibs for those who just can't "read" body language all that well, and there's certainly a entire market saturated with massage chairs that supposedly coax your muscles in return for a hefty sum of cash, but it looks like Sanyo's lineup of massage seats just might sport a hidden agenda. According to Sanyo's ever-descriptive website, its array of massage chairs sport "physical shape sensors, power recline, and GK roller technology" among other things, but the standout feature is the "stiffness detection sensor" that "locates areas of physical stiffness and gauges fatigue by changes in skin temperature, perspiration, and pulse." Interestingly enough, those three measurements are the things lie detection tools are made up of my friend, so if you've got the 1337 skills to wire up a massage chair to some swank analytical software, you could potentially extract just about any truth you ever wanted while the culprit simply enjoys the ride.

[Via CNET]

If you're an avid Skype user, and you aren't entirely honest some most of the time, you should probably watch what you say from here on out. While auditory lie detectors have definitely been around, BATM is manufacturing a dedicated fib sniffer made to work specifically with Skype. The KishKish Lie Detector will be offered up as a "Skype add-on," and will reportedly analyze audio streams over a Skype conversation in real time and "illustrate the stress level" of the other person -- you know, in case you can't quite pick up the quivering on your own. Moreover, users will be able to "record calls for delayed analysis" in case you need to comb things over once you've cooled your jets. While we've got no qualms with getting down to the truth, we can't help but think this gizmo's a tad on the creepy side of things, but it's sure to please suspicious Skype users everywhere when it rolls out sometime in the future (we promise).

[Via SmartMobs]