JapaneseHardwareSales

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  • Japanese hardware sales, 20 Nov - 26 Nov: Krazy Kutaragi addition

    by 
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    12.01.2006

    FROM THE DESK OF: Kaz HiraiATTN: Ken KutaragiTo whom it may concern,Actually, this just concerns you, Ken. After arranging several meetings, internal polls and Aibo races, we've determined that your recent performance with regards to the PLAYSTATION 3 has been less than satisfactory. It's nothing personal, but we feel it's a fair comment to make given your actions behind the wheel of our Blu-ray vehicle. You've hit a concrete barrier, rolled over a cliff and even run over some pedestrians. I'm not really sure where this metaphor's going (it's running out of gas, you might say), but the general feeling I'm trying to convey is WRONG. BAD. UNHAPPY.So, we're kicking you down a couple of notches in the business. I'm going to need you to write me a full sales report and have it on my desk by tomorrow. We don't have any tracking infrastructure in place yet, so I'm going to need you to manually count every PLAYSTATION 3 system sold.FROM THE POORLY LIT WORKSTATION OF: Ken KutaragiATTN: Kaz HiraiTo whom it may concern,I have intensely calculated the sales numbers you requested:- DS Lite: 201,378 72,757 (56.57%)- PLAYSTATION 3: 32,662 9,437 (22.42%) (Ken's note: Only the second smallest percentage decrease! The system is clearly a success!) - PSP: 30,815 14,125 (84.63%) - PS2: 26,263 11,195 (74.30%) - Xbox 360: 7,007 2,957 (73.01%) - GBA SP: 1,26465 (5.42%) - Game Boy Micro: 1,235 198 (19.09%) - Gamecube: 576 62 (12.06%) - DS Phat: 212 30 (16.48%) - GBA: 27 3 (10.00%) - Xbox: 0 6 (100.00%)[Source: Media Create]See also: Previous Japanese hardware sales chartsCan I have my old job back, now?

  • Japanese hardware sales, 13 November - 19 November: thankful edition

    by 
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    11.24.2006

    Noting the gigantic bird that recently invaded your home and the uncomfortable gathering of family members (very often composed of equally gigantic birds), it must have dawned on you that the time to give thanks has finally arrived. What better target is there for our gratitude cannon than those that spend a good deal of their lives with us, making us laugh and providing us with times we'll always cherish? Indeed, we thought it best to thank our beloved consoles and handhelds for the hours upon hours of joy they provide -- without all the hassles and drama of competing products like family and friends.After the break: our individual notes of gratuitous gratitude. - DS Lite: 128,621 19,553 (13.20%)- PS3: 42,099 39,540 (48.43%) - PSP: 16,690 2,433 (12.72%) - PS2: 15,068 1,089 (6.74%) - Xbox 360: 4,050 186 (4.81%) - GBA SP: 1,199121 (9.17%) - Game Boy Micro: 1,037 176 (14.51%) - Gamecube: 514 18 (3.63%) - DS Phat: 182 97 (34.77%) - GBA: 30 18 (150.00%) - Xbox: 6 3 (100.00%)[Source: Media Create]See also: Previous Japanese hardware sales charts

  • Japanese hardware sales, 6 November - 12 November: new contender edition

    by 
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    11.17.2006

    The word "surprise" doesn't seem entirely able to capture the feeling experienced once it becomes clear that our trusty (even predictable) sales charts have been irrevocably altered. Perhaps it needs an exclamation mark. Surprise! No, that's still not right. It's really more of a feeling of unfamiliarity and unease, much like the one brought on after you've have had your limbs switched around by a psychotic surgeon in the middle of the night. Just when you had gotten used to your arms and legs the way they were, you're forced to adapt and learn how to walk again. On your elbows. So, the "Playstation 3" launched in Japan last week. Maybe you've heard of it.- DS Lite: 148,174 35,077 (31.01%)- PS3: 81,639 [Holy yes! A new entry!] - PSP: 19,123 4,602 (19.40%) - PS2: 16,157 4,825 (23.00%) - Xbox 360: 3,864 2,716 (41.28%) - GBA SP: 1,320123 (8.52%) - Game Boy Micro: 1,213 86 (6.62%) - Gamecube: 496 151 (23.34%) - DS Phat: 279 94 (25.20%) - GBA: 12 8 (40.00%) - Xbox: 3 3 (infinite)[Source: Media Create]See also: Previous Japanese hardware sales charts

  • Japanese hardware sales, 30 October - 5 November: incredibly innovative edition

    by 
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    11.10.2006

    Like getting struck by a sack of bowling balls launched from an hydraulic catapult, some words recently spoken by EA Montreal's general manager, Alain Tascan, really made an impact on us. Tascan's observations concern recent testosterone explosion simulator, Gears of War, and how it seemingly lacks innovation and consequenty, doesn't deserve the high scores it's been awarded with. Aside from imparting the fact that EA's hallways are entirely devoid of mirrors, his conclusion reminded us of how stale our beloved series of Japanese sales chart has become. Allow us then to do what must be done -- that which has never been done before.- DS Lite: 113,097 45,584 (28.73%) -- Innovation factor: 761 - PSP: 23,725 2,183 (8.43%) -- Innovation factor: 1659 - PS2: 20,982 850 (3.89%) -- Innovation factor: 922 - Xbox 360: 6,580 5,015 (320.45%) -- Innovation factor: 562 - GBA SP: 1,443415 (22.34%) -- Innovation factor: 1443 - Game Boy Micro: 1,299 52 (3.85%) -- Innovation factor: 1299 - Gamecube: 647 3 (0.47%) -- Innovation factor: 647 - DS Phat: 373 259 (227.19%) -- Innovation factor: 373 - GBA: 20 5 (33.33%) -- Innovation factor: 20 - Xbox: 0 7 (100.00%) -- Innovation factor: 0As you can see, not only have we employed the use of striking colors to make the chart easier to read, but we've also used various arrow sizes to keep things fresh and unpredictable. The "innovation factor" is a brand new statistic calculated by taking the number of units sold modulo the current year (2006). Those three additions make the chart a numeric adventure, clearly illustrating that the mere presence of innovation alone can have a massively beneficial effect on old, informative charts. In your decrepid and wrinkled face, tradition! (If you find yourself just wanting to enjoy a good old-fashioned sales chart, check after the break. We fully support backwards compatibility, you know.)[Source: Media Create]

  • Japanese hardware sales, 23 October - 29 October: platinum premium edition

    by 
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    11.03.2006

    Though we've gone to great lengths to deny and cloak the truth, it is frequently in our best interests to be direct with our readers. You see, we've been having trouble making ends meet. In fact, all of our efforts to do so have resulted in one of the ends physically and quite brutally assaulting the other. One even tried to hire a hitman. Our lack of financial power has become so abysmal, that one of our boggers has had to make due without "L" key on his hideously malfunctioning keyboard. His description of the Xbox 360's Eragon demo as "ame" lacked a significant amount of punch, not to mention sense.And that's why we've decided to make more cents. In a bold move to build up our shared bank account under the pitiful pretense of providing the reader with choice, this week's Japanese sales chart will find itself next to equine protection devices and sleek sports cars -- huddled beneath the gigantic umbrella of microtransactions. By clicking once and going through to the second half of the post, you agree to pay Joystiq 12 Joy Points to unlock the information. You can purchase 11 Joy Points at a time for just 1200 Microsoft Points. Don't worry, as a matter of convenience, we've already obtained your credit card information.Note on choice: You could simply highlight the text, but why bother clicking and dragging your mouse across the desk like a slave pulling a granite block for his pyramid-obsessed pharaoh? - DS Lite: 158,681 41,740 (35.69%) - PSP: 25,908 5,637 (27.81%) - PS2: 21,832 548 (2.45%) - GBA SP: 1,858563 (23.25%) - Xbox 360: 1,565 278 (21.60%) - Game Boy Micro: 1,351 309 (18.61%) - Gamecube: 644 6 (0.94%) - DS Phat: 114 16 (12.31%) - GBA: 15 22 (59.46%) - Xbox: 7 1 (16.67%)[Source: Media Create]

  • Japanese hardware sales, Oct. 16-22: Mad Lib edition

    by 
    Chris Powell
    Chris Powell
    10.28.2006

    Ya know, I've thought about coming up with all sorts of creative ways to present you the hardware sales like our sister sites do, but there's really only so many ways you can creatively express the DS Lite's ass kicking of the PSP in Japan. But I'm going to give it a go this week.So, in honor of the Joystiq family tradition, I'll bring you a creative hardware sales post this one time. If you've ever played Mad Libs, you'll know exactly what to do. If not, go outside and play in the street.- DS Lite: 116,941 12,454 (11.92%) - PS2: 22,380 2,347 (9.50%) - PSP: 20,271 1,332 (6.17%) - GBA SP: 2,421122 (5.31%) - Game Boy Micro: 1,660 54 (3.15%) - Xbox 360: 1,287 456 (26.16%) - Gamecube: 638 15 (2.30%) - DS Phat: 130 143 (52.38%) - GBA: 37 25 (67.57%) - Xbox: 6 3 (100.00%)The [insert adjective] DS Lite [insert verb] the PSP's [insert noun] in this week's Japanese hardware sales. But even though the PSP is [insert verb] this week, the [insert noun] is definitely [insert adjective] for the our beloved handheld. Just wait until [insert upcoming PSP game] comes out. Yeah, then things will be different![Source: Media Create]

  • Japanese hardware sales, 16 October - 22 October: constructive edition

    by 
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    10.27.2006

    The glorious arrival of Friday brings only two things of value: the weekend and the Japanese hardware sales chart. Let's get to it, then.- Saber saws: 116,941 12,454 (11.92%) - Power drills: 22,380 2,347 (9.50%) - Jackhammers: 20,271 1,332 (6.17%) - Orbital sanders: 2,421122 (5.31%) - Drill presses: 1,660 54 (3.15%) - Demolition hammers: 1,287 456 (26.16%) - Industrial pile drivers: 638 15 (2.30%) - James Ransom-Wileys: 130 143 (52.38%) - Impact wrenches: 37 25 (67.57%) - Twin laser compound miter saws: 6 3 (100.00%)[Source: House Create]Alright, so it also brings puerile, once-off word gags and dubious rapper connections. Read on for the real, inherently boring sales chart.

  • Japanese hardware sales, Oct. 9-15: The gap closes

    by 
    Chris Powell
    Chris Powell
    10.21.2006

    If there's one thing I can say about the PSP's sales, is they've been holding steady at right around 20,000-25,000 each week for a good while now. However, the DS Lite couldn't maintain its massive sales numbers it accumulated a few weeks ago when it sold nearly 275,000 units, which had more to do with Pokemon than anything else.- DS Lite: 104,487 19,650 (15.83%) - PS2: 24,727 3,537 (12.51%) - PSP: 21,603 553 (2.63%) - GBA SP: 2,299767 (50.07%) - Xbox 360: 1,743 358 (17.04%) - Game Boy Micro: 1,714 441 (34.64%) - Gamecube: 653 165 (33.81%) - DS Phat: 273 13 (5.00%) - GBA: 37 25 (208.33%) - Xbox: 3 5 (62.5%)The PSP doesn't have too many more releases this month with only Shinobido, Hot Shots Golf for GPS, Lost Regnum and Heaven's Will. It will be interesting to see if any of those games, especially Hot Shots, helps raise PSP sales the next couple weeks. [Source: Media Create]

  • Japanese hardware sales, 9 October - 15 October: stupidest ever edition

    by 
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    10.20.2006

    OMFG Here are this weeks Japanese sale charts and as usual the nintedo Ds lite is DOWN cause nobuddy is buying it. Now, let me start by saing that I love NINTEDO and that im not bias but it has a red arrow and red is FTL loller. they are on the way out with they're kiddie games and brain age. more like LAME age mirite??!1- DS Lite: 104,487 19,650 (15.83%) - PS2: 24,727 3,537 (12.51%) - PSP: 21,603 553 (2.63%) - GBA SP: 2,299767 (50.07%) - Xbox 360: 1,743 358 (17.04%) - Game Boy Micro: 1,714 441 (34.64%) - Gamecube: 653 165 (33.81%) - DS Phat: 273 13 (5.00%) - GBA: 37 25 (208.33%) - Xbox: 3 5 (62.5%)Unleik the DS, the SONY PSP is going up in the sales my friend Bill told me that it'll pwn number 1 soon because it has better grafx than any other protable console and, a better screen then the Gameboy micro morore like the game boy psyhco cos that's what you aer if you buy one it's just the old GBa with a britter screen. Anyway the Xcast 360 also came odwn from last time because people don't want to play Crapo on M$ consoles where you can't even buy tetris full version you its all mirco transactions. and you can't play grand truismo on it ether! [Source: Media Create][Special thanks to previous sales chart commenter, spike117, for providing the inspiration for this week's sales post.]

  • Japanese hardware sales, 2 October - 8 October: rejected edition edition

    by 
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    10.13.2006

    It may often appear as if our weekly Japanese sales posts are created in furious, spur-of-the-moment bursts of insanity and poor grammar. You may picture us simply sitting down in an office chair, rapidly assaulting our trusty keyboards and then committing the results to the pulsating tubes of the internets. This picture is worth only a single word -- and the word is wrong. We do not have office chairs (only hammocks), the process is by no means rapid (we use DVORAK) and we have something vaguely resembling quality control.- DS Lite: 124,137 150,252 (54.76%) - PS2: 28,264 3,728 (11.65%) - PSP: 21,050 4,269 (16.86%) - Xbox 360: 2,101 94 (4.28%) - GBA SP: 1,532279 (15.41%) - Game Boy Micro: 1,273 170 (15.41%) - Gamecube: 488 35 (6.70%) - DS Phat: 260 7 (2.77%) - GBA: 12 2 (20.00%) - Xbox: 8 5 (166.67%)Indeed, the final sales post you see often comes at the cost of several other initially brilliant ideas that are eventually rejected for one reason or another. It's a process of refinement, of finding the entertaining concept amidst a myriad of lesser creations. Learn all about what could have happened today after the break (you'll thank us later). [Source: Media Create]

  • Japanese hardware sales, 25 September - 1 October: fully translated edition

    by 
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    10.06.2006

    We've all been disgustingly selfish. If you can muster the energy, roll your eyes upwards and read the title of this post. It's the Japanese hardware sales, implying some sort of connection to the great Eastern country that so painstakingly provides us with a continuous supply of numbers, role-playing games and saucer-eyed heroines who transform into magical assassin robots. By presenting these infrequently informative posts exclusively in English, we've shown a complete lack of gratitude and an unwillingness to embrace other cultures. Japan, prepare to be hugged.- DS Lite: 274,389 134,554 (96.22%) - PS2: 31,992 681 (2.08%) - PSP: 25,319 2,201 (9.52%) - Xbox 360: 2,195 1,086 (97.93%) - GBA SP: 1,811334 (15.57%) - Game Boy Micro: 1,103 83 (7.00%) - Gamecube: 523 240 (31.45%) - DS Phat: 253 63 (19.94%) - GBA: 10 10 (50.00%) - Xbox: 3 5 (62.5%) [Source: Media Create]

  • Japanese hardware sales, 11 September - 17 September: Tokyo stalker edition

    by 
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    09.22.2006

    Select and now less popular members of the Joystiq staff traveled to Japan this week in order to cover the annual and frequently spectacular Tokyo Game Show -- at least, that's what you've been led to believe. Though the opportunity to play the latest games and to attend dull press conferences could certainly be considered a pleasant side-effect, the true reason for the team's journey to the East is far more striking. Indeed, the time has finally come to capture and imprison the elusive answer to the question that arises with every single edition of the sales chart. Observe this week ranking according to the number of units sold:- DS Lite: 134,885 21,045 (18.49%)- PS2: 34,189 14,307 (71.96%)- PSP: 26,995 2,146 (7.36%)- GBA SP: 2,330 226 (10.74%)- Game Boy Micro: 1,244 557 (30.93%)- Xbox 360: 928 166 (15.17%)- Gamecube: 630 66 (9.48%)- DS Phat: 478 580 (54.82%)- GBA: 27 14 (107.70%)- Xbox: 7 2 (40.00%)Who bought those Xbox consoles? The truth and subsequent interview, after the break.[Source: Media Create]

  • Japanese hardware sales, 4 September - 10 September: completely wiidiculous edition

    by 
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    09.15.2006

    Shocking reports from Japan indicate that Nintendo's entry into the next-gen console wars (with Xbox 360 and Japan itself being the only combatants thus far) has shown absolutely no progress in the closely monitored sales ranking. - DS Lite: 113,831 115,108 (50.28%)- PSP: 29,141 1,642 (5.97%)- PS2: 19,882 2,821 (12.43%)- GBA SP: 2,104 647 (23.52%)- Game Boy Micro: 1,801 10 (0.56%)- Xbox 360: 1,094 156 (12.48%)- DS Phat: 1,058 738 (230.63%)- Gamecube: 696 159 (18.60%)- GBA: 13 9 (40.91%)- Xbox: 5 5 (infinite%)- Wii: 0 0 (0%)Esteemed analyst, Excelsior Bluffington, pointed out that "the Wii has shown little to no sales growth in the past few weeks. It's even been bested by the Xbox, and people only buy that thing to mess with the charts. Judging by my elaborate series of pie charts and lucid, LSD-induced dreams, it becomes painfully clear that the Wii will only see a marked improvement sometime in December."A local psychoanalyst was quick to refute these claims, however, calling Bluffington a "delusional psychopath." With experts in conflict, we felt it best to enquire directly with Nintendo president, Satoru Iwata. His entirely cryptic response suggested that "Nintendo hasn't launched the system yet, you freaking [sic] imbeciles." A likely story. A likely story indeed. [Source: Media Create]

  • Japanese hardware sales chart - Aug. 21-27: Yeah, it got darker

    by 
    Chris Powell
    Chris Powell
    09.02.2006

    Well if this week was going bad for the PSP, in terms of sales figures, it just got much worse as the new hardware sales numbers rolled in.- DS Lite: 163,274 88,779 (119.17%)- PSP: 29,945 11,590 (27.90%)- PS2: 21,829 5,004 (18.65%)- GBA SP: 2,719 1,104 (28.88%)- Game Boy Micro: 1,819 447 (19.73%)- Xbox 360: 1,197 296 (19.83%)- Gamecube: 837 85 (9.22%)- DS Phat: 410 302 (42.42%)- GBA: 14 6 (30.00%)- Xbox: 12 5 (71.43%)While the DS Lite took a near 120-percent jump, the PSP saw a 28-percent decline. The surge in DS Lite sales can be mostly attributed to the release of Final Fantasy III, which also took the top spot in the software sales chart. Square's newest addition to the Final Fantasy franchise sold more than 500,000 copies in its first week of release.And do you want to hear even sadder news? Gundam G Generation Portable recently became the best one-week selling PSP game ever in Japan by pushing out 150,000 copies. Do you see where I'm going here? Final Fantasy III outsold the PSP's best-selling game by more than 350,000 copies. Yeesh.[Source: Media Create]

  • Japanese hardware sales, 21 August - 27 August: dear diary edition

    by 
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    09.01.2006

    1 September, 2006Dear Diary,Today Joystiq posted the Japanese hardware sales charts and, oh em gee, it was so crazy. My Nintendo was at the very top and the only other thing that had a green arrow was that big Xbox. Totally weird. I can't wait to show my friend Allan the numbers. He has one, but he only got it because of that game where the girls punch each other in bikinis. He's such a pervert, but I'm glad he's been hanging out with me every day since last week. We've been listening to Ayumi Hamasaki non-stop, I'm surprised he hasn't complained.I have to feed the hamster.Oh, and here's the ranking, according to number of units that have totally been sold:- DS Lite: 163,274 88,779 (119.17%)- PSP: 29,945 11,590 (27.90%)- PS2: 21,829 5,004 (18.65%)- GBA SP: 2,719 1,104 (28.88%)- Game Boy Micro: 1,819 447 (19.73%)- Xbox 360: 1,197 296 (19.83%)- Gamecube: 837 85 (9.22%)- DS Phat: 410 302 (42.42%)- GBA: 14 6 (30.00%)- Xbox: 12 5 (71.43%)[Source: Media Create]Previous diary entries follow in the second part of the post.

  • Japanese hardware sales, 14 August - 20 August: supreme bias edition

    by 
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    08.25.2006

    Much like a used car purchased from a licentious and overbearing salesman, people often come with their own set of inherent, sometimes unpredictable quirks and predilections. It's part of being human and, in most cases, can be kept under control. Unfortunately, that's not how things regularly work in the realms of video games, internet communication and poorly constructed vehicle metaphors. Some people are driven mad by the desire to travel down the road of their favorite console manufacturer, logic chicanes and reality potholes blissfully ignored in pursuit of victory over those driving in the opposite direction (or in the case of the Wii, avoiding the road entirely and taking to the sky in a Da Vincian flying contraption). This week, we ponder what it would be like if such a person wrote Joystiq's weekly Japanese sales recap.The ranking, according to number of units sold:- DS Lite: 74,495 122,224 (62.13%)- PSP: 41,535 246 (0.60%)- PS2: 26,833 286 (1.08%)- GBA SP: 3,823 772 (25.30%)- Game Boy Micro: 2,266 235 (11.57%)- Xbox 360: 1,493 289 (24.00%)- Gamecube: 922 18 (1.91%)- DS Phat: 712 222 (23.77%)- GBA: 20 3 (13.04%)- Xbox: 7 1 (16.67%)

  • Japanese hardware sales, 7 August - 13 August: fake comments edition

    by 
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    08.18.2006

    The ranking, according to number of units sold:- DS Lite: 196,719 33,147 (20.26%)- PSP: 41,289 8,063 (16.34%)- PS2: 26,547 560 (2.15%)- GBA SP: 3,051 267 (9.59%)- Game Boy Micro: 2,031 103 (5.34%)- Xbox 360: 1,204 185 (13.32%)- Gamecube: 940 36 (3.98%)- DS Phat: 934 225 (19.41%)- GBA: 23 11 (32.35%)- Xbox: 6 8 (57.14%)[Source: Media Create]1. first post!!! lol Posted at 10:01PM on Aug 18th 2006 by tention0 STARS2. I see the DS Lite had a pretty notable increase this week, whereas the DS Phat continues its downward spiral. The PSP also took a bit of a dive. I wonder why? Posted at 10:03PM on Aug 18th 2006 by fun_read3 STARS3. Joystiq I don't live in JAPAN! Why do you keep posting these numbers?! Why don't you post American sales, please? Posted at 10:06PM on Aug 18th 2006 by grogme0 STARS4. Grogme, the Japanese sales numbers are tracked much more meticulously than the American ones. These charts become available each week, whereas the NPD only published data once a month. Joystiq usually posts NPD information whenever it becomes available. Posted at 10:11PM on Aug 18th 2006 by heap o' beers8741 STARS5. Wow. <_< People still buy the Xbox? Posted at 10:12PM on Aug 18th 2006 by sixpoundsplusgravity1 STAR6. Gawd, Joystiq is so biased. They put the DS Lite at the top of the list EVERY TIME. Posted at 10:14PM on Aug 18th 2006 by wiicked0 STARS7. Ludwig, I know you like to make your posts "wacky" and "sarcastic" or whatever, but this is *ridiculous*. I'm afraid we're gonna have to let you go. Posted at 10:15PM on Aug 18th 2006 by C. Grant0 STARS

  • Japanese hardware sales, 31 July - 6 August: heavy meta

    by 
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    08.11.2006

    Though we may frequently appear to be aloof, apathetic or altogether addicted to awe-inspiring alliteration, the Joystiq crew is actually attentively attuned to the needs of its readers and commenters. We know what you want, and what you want is what we know -- that is to say, we'll teach you how to make an official Joystiq Japanese sales chart post in the comfort of your very own home! Step 1: Create a terrible introductory paragraphThe introductory paragraph helps ease the reader into the wealth of information provided by one of these posts. It functions like a soft mattress placed in-between the reader and the pit of rusty nails that is the weekly onslaught of numbers. Make sure that the introductory paragraph is self-referential, wildly incoherent and not even remotely related to the actual sales numbers. You may introduce a second paragraph if you feel the mattress needs to be thicker, though it's recommended that you implement a silly allegory to maintain interest and "humor."A third paragraph, however, is most certainly not recommended. It will only serve to anger those that are eager to reach the actual information. Step 2: Insert the sales information obtained from Media Create:The ranking, according to number of units sold:- DS Lite: 163,572 13,281 (7.51%)- PSP: 49,352 6,748 (15.84%)- PS2: 25,987 464 (1.75%)- GBA SP: 2,784 555 (24.90%)- Game Boy Micro: 1,928 162 (9.17%)- Xbox 360: 1,389 857 (38.16%)- DS Phat: 1,159 371 (24.25%)- Gamecube: 904 135 (12.99%)- GBA: 34 25 (277.77%)- Xbox: 14 3 (27.27%)Step 3: Create a final paragraph (must be worse than introductory paragraph)In your final paragraph, you may opt to analyze the week's sales trends (the Xbox is always a hilarious topic), possibly referring to coinciding NPD reports or pointing out how the DS Lite outsells everything, in the universe, ever. Alternatively, you may use it as a denouement to any running jokes you regrettably started in Step 1. [Source: Media Create]

  • Japanese hardware sales, 24 July - 30 July: incredibly incalculable increase

    by 
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    08.04.2006

    Just as several wily commenters predicted last week, the original Xbox suddenly (and quite mysteriously) experiences a sales increase over its impressive tally of zero this week. The resulting percentage rise is so incredibly gargantuan and intimidating that it simply cannot be comprehended by the human mind, at least not without the aid of divine omnipotence or persistant alcohol poisoning. The ranking, according to number of units sold:- DS Lite: 176,853 85,600 (32.62%)- PSP: 42,604 6,666 (18.55%)- PS2: 26,451 4,163 (18.68%)- Xbox 360: 2,246 774 (52.58%)- GBA SP: 2,229 724 (24.52%)- Game Boy Micro: 1,766 356 (25.25%)- DS Phat: 1,530 4,814 (75.88%)- Gamecube: 1,039 37 (3.44%)- Xbox: 11 11 (infinite)- GBA: 9 11 (55.00%)Other points of interest this week include the Xbox 360's flirtation with the fourth position in the charts (and the huge gap between it and the PS2), the DS Phat's return to unpopular status and the vaguely demonic number of new PSP owners. [Source: Media Create]

  • Japanese hardware sales, 17 July - 23 July: bad comparison week

    by 
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    Ludwig Kietzmann
    07.28.2006

    The most interesting parts of this week's chart reside at the very top and at the very bottom, much like a decapitated body with Lamborghinis for feet. Nintendo's magical, dual-screened device continues to dominate Japan, raking in the cash like a pickpocket with eight magnetic arms. The ranking, according to number of units sold:- DS Lite: 262,453 121,595 (86.32%)- PSP: 35,938 655 (1.86%)- PS2: 22,288 1,639 (6.85%)- DS Phat: 6,344 5,477 (46.33%)- GBA SP: 2,953 334 (12.75%)- Xbox 360: 1,472 367 (33.21%)- Game Boy Micro: 1,410 171 (10.82%)- Gamecube: 1,076 148 (15.95%)- GBA: 20 8 (28.57%)- Xbox: 0 10 (100.00%)It's as clear as Daniel Day-Lewis' acting ability -- while the DS Lite enjoys brisk sales that trump the rest of the chart combined more than three times over, the Xbox finally languishes in the lowest point possible. Its performance in this part of the world may not have been entirely deserved, but it still turned out to be more embarassing than a discus-throwing competition where each disc has been replaced by a custard pie.(Worst. Comparisons. Ever.)[Source: Media Create]