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Sunday Morning Funnies: Jazzercise
Ladies and gentlemen, and all those with paws/hooves, etc, I think we might just be entering a new phase of the Sunday Morning Funnies. Why? Because this week's list is pretty long too. So long, in fact, that I had to throw it all behind the break again. Have I missed any? Do you know of a comic that isn't listed here? If so, throw it into the comments section! Let's see just how long we can make this thing. Hunt them down, and leave me a tip. Last week, I seem to recall promising you a Long Cat. Just to be safe, I've delivered two. Yes, you can all has long cats.
Woop woop, that's the sound of the space police: Meet CCP's "Permaband"
Now normally when we talk about EVE Online, it's about a scandal, or some theft, or just the general talk on how to pilot your virtual spaceship better. This, however, is certainly not one of those EVE Online stories.So what is this story about? Well it's a story about what happens when you add rap to CCP. And what would happen if CCP made a rap video and got many members of their staff to star in it... because they did. The guy in the top? No, he's not some aspiring white rapper (although he might be after this) -- he's Sveinn Kjarval, EVE's lead game master. The girls on his left and right? That's EVE's marketing director on the left and the CEO's assistant on the right.Now before you go running off to find this golden video of awesome, we need to warn you, it's seriously not safe for work. (Except it's safe for CCP's work, because it's CCP's offices, so it's ok to watch this video if you work at CCP.) We'd love to embed it here for ya, but sadly, due to explicit lyrics (and a techno viking), we can't. But if you're ok with some NSFW content, then do we have the link for you.
WoW Moviewatch: I'm on a Mount (NSFW)
Warning: This video is Not Safe For Work. It's got cursing. In fact, it has cursing about every 5 to 15 seconds. Lots of cursing here. If you click play, please do not be surprised by cursing. They use naughty words. If this offends you, don't watch this movie. We've got plenty of other content for you today.I generally try and keep videos featured on Moviewatch to a reasonable level of "acceptable in any venue." People watch these movies at work, around kids, and in front of their aging grandmothers. Today's video, however, has a very high level of cursing in it. Why would I feature this parody video, titled I'm on a Mount?Because it's freaking awesome. Granted, I'm a pretty big Lonely Island fan anyway, and generally enjoy their stuff. But Nooglide has managed to do more than just make a filk-version of I'm on a Boat (also NSFW). I feel the creator has truly captured the feel, spirit, and general tone of the original video. If the Lonely Island guys had been writing this song about WoW, this is probably the song they would have written.Nooglide is, granted, probably not the first person to create a I'm on a Mount video, but this version's animation also is similar to the absurdist approach of Lonely Island's original piece. The surprise Murloc attack, also, was incredibly funny.I'm totally going to have this stuck in my head all day. Interested in the wide world of machinima? We have new movies every weekday here on WoW Moviewatch! Have suggestions for machinima we ought to feature? Toss us an e-mail at machinima AT wow DOT com.
Ice-T repairs a Mac, his way
I don't think this is anything I would have ever asked to see, personally, but now that it's here, I can't look away. Above, you can click through to see a NSFW (language) video of the star of stage and screen, Ice-T, doing some "repairs" on a broken PowerBook -- the kinds of "repairs" you can only do with a clawhammer. As he says in the video, "if any of you people out there really have a love affair with Macs, this'll be hard to watch." In Apple's defense, that Mac gives him quite a bit of trouble... until he really starts swinging the hammer.Ah, the Internet. Where else can you watch B-list celebrities destroy expensive electronic equipment? Everybody have a great weekend!
WoW Moviewatch: Guildy Conscience
The language in this video isn't entirely safe for work. They curse a bit.You probably remember last month when Nyhm teamed up with a trio of creative types as a final farewell to WoW videos. Their video, Pwnage Like Us, showcased three talents who I wouldn't exactly call new to the scene, but who are probably still relatively fresh to casual machinima viewers. Well, Gigi, Decision, Quixotica, and Abandonation are already back with a new music parody piece -- Guildy Conscience.This music video is a take-off from Eminem and Dr. Dre's "Guilty Conscience." I admit, I'm not incredibly familiar with the original song, and I prefer it that way. It lets me enjoy the work on its own, though I will say that vocal styles are definitely spawned from Eminem's distinctive sound. The song is a quick series of three parables about decisions everyone faces in World of Warcraft. Well, maybe not everyone, but they're common themes on Mr. Schramm's Guildwatch. First, an undead rogue encounters a gnome and has to decide whether to gank him. Second, a troll's got to resist the temptation to ninja gear from Malygos. And, lastly, a tauren wrestles with complexities of buying gold.It's meant as comedy, but I actually greatly enjoy their commentary about these ethical issues in WoW. That being said, I'm really wearing out on the "I'm a bad ass Belf!" gig, and hope that Abandonation and Gigi explore other personality facets. Quixotica's work on the video is remarkable, and I really do believe these three could create some astounding work in the coming months.If you have any suggestions for WoW Moviewatch, you can mail them to us at machinima AT wowinsider DOT com.Previously on Moviewatch ..
Onechanbara's Aya goes nude for Playboy
Sex sells, and nobody knows that more than the folks at D3 Publisher and Playboy, who have just teamed up to promote the mag's review of Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad -- complete with some pictures of the game's lead heroine, Aya, in the buff. You're going to click over for the article, right? It's a pretty good review. We've read it. Like 4 times.[Via Go Nintendo]Source - (NSFW) Playboy review for Onechanbara
Hello Kitty Online: gazing into horror
We write about Chaos Chosen freaks wreaking havoc on the RvR battlefield. We've been known to write about interstellar mercenaries and anarchists publicly executing enemies of freedom. Things like these make the job fun. But this... is seriously over the top. Three videos, all lined up below the cut. You may be able to handle one. Some of you may be able to take two. But three -- we don't think you can do it. In fact we know you can't. These clips are NSFW. Be advised.
Pick-up your beta key
For a while, co-lead Schramm was searching for good WoW jokes. We seemed to come up short on things that were both clever and funny. Pick up lines, on the other hand, are more common. The in-game /flirt function ranges from corny to crass. Do you think you could do better? Varanis of Silvermoon (NSFW) said in the Wrath forums that he's willing to pony up his beta key to the best WoW pick-up line. Whether or not there's truly a beta key involved many have joined in the sport. Some of the lines are pretty crass and others miss the WoW component, but there are some real gems in there. Some of my favorites are:
Comic Watch: Penny Arcade bets on Ponystars
Those impish ne'er-do-wells at Penny Arcade have taken the reins and presented a comic replete with our two favorite topics: human-created abominations of nature, and Ponystars. Our admiration for the latter is obvious, but it could only take the talents of Messrs Brahe and Gabriel to perfectly evoke our passion for the former.Will this comic make you more likely to want to try the game? Although many initially express distaste for the genre, if not outright indignance at the mere mention of its pastorally quasi-equestrian delights, once presented with the possibility of assembling a hideous hooved horror, we've seen many a neigh-sayer quickly bray out a mea culpa and get straight to their dark work. (Note: this is a work of parody; no actual pixelated ponies were harmed in the making of the comic. NSFW language follows.)
Don't go there
So, whose site do you think the above image comes from? No, definitely not from Linden Lab. Over the last week there have been a number of accounts (all apparently now banned) that have been spamming out a link to this site, or links that direct to it. We assume Linden Lab is even now sharpening their pens for cease-and-desist letters, based on use of trademarks alone. The site itself contains some material that might not be safe-for-work or suitable for those under 18. The majority of content, however, is probably not safe for anyone much, really. It's a sub-site of a site that involves imagery that is quite definitely NSFW. It's one of those fill-out-surveys-to-get-Linden-Dollars sites, and we've yet to see one that wasn't some sort of scam -- so we've got no reason to believe that this isn't also one. Given that, we cannot recommend that anyone give this site a try.
Forum Post of the Day: I'm a WoW Widow
And Belfaire doesn't care.Reader Kyver tipped us off to a gem of a post on the Customer Service Forums today, titled "I'm a WoW Widow" (moderately NSFW, PG-13 rating). The story goes like this: A girl, Missmegan, lost her boyfriend to the Burning Crusades [sic]. They used to play together horde side, but after buying the expansion he turned to the alliance and is dedicated to his guild mates. All is lost, as he's no longer interested in his girlfriend's "assets" and rambles like a two-year old.Of course this makes our forum posting protagonist upset, and she needs her boyfriend back. Now obviously this is a joke. At least I hope it is. And Katie (my girlfriend), if you're reading this I promise I'll never let it get this bad. I mean, I only play for 5 hours a day, not 13 as the boyfriend in the story does. And I make money with all this, so it's okay, right? Sweetie? Darling? Honey... D'oh....Tagging the first response to this thread is Belfaire The Mighty, with the simple response "Dear WoW Widow, It's actually Burning Crusade. Yours, Belfaire." This had myself and the other writers here laughing. We had to share it.So dear readers, I ask you, are you a WoW widow?
Comic Watch: VG Cats explains it all
Beloved videogame webcomic VG Cats has a consistently funny style, and in this episode, they take on the differences in online systems between the Big Three Consoles. How is this a Massively concern? The final panel takes a shot at both Sony's Home and Second Life.Warning: this comic is NSFW in both image and text! So wrong ... but so funny!
Comic Watch: anonymous comic hits the MMOMILF [UPDATED]
This comic riffs on both MMOs and MILFs (note: NSFW language), but I can't find an attribution; if anyone knows who wrote/created this comic, please drop it in the comments. Note: The comic also features NSFW language. If this post seems a little short on explication, just read the strip; it says all there needs to be said.[UPDATE: Reader Carl found out where this came from! WithYourMom.com touts "Same joke, every day" -- but at least it's a good joke! Thanks, Carl!]
Cinemassively: Rock Rockin' Tha Spot
(Warning: The management has asked me to make it clear that this video is Not Safe For Work (NSFW). If pixel nudity, language, or Olibith offend your delicate Victorian sensibilities, do not click after the jump.)When I heard that Baron Soosdon was making a new music video, I chased him down only to find out that it might not be suitable for our audience. Awful things immediately ran through my head, so I was pleasantly surprised that Rock Rockin' Tha Spot wasn't that bad. Yes, there's some unsavory moments, but you'd really be missing out if you didn't watch.Baron is a Machinima master, skilled at making World of Warcraft look like an MTV video with a million dollar budget. He was able to finish this video much sooner because he used more in-game footage versus model viewer characters. However, with the way he blends colors and light, you can hardly even tell it's WoW anymore.[Via BaronSoosdon]View Rock Rockin' Tha Spot (NSFW) after the jump ...
WoW Moviewatch: Rock Rockin' Tha Spot
(As the pic above states, that was one of the safest pics I could link. The management has asked me to make clear that this music video is very Not Safe For Work (NSFW). It contains language, pixel nudity, and Olibith, who warrants a NSFW tag on his own ...)Baron Soosdon has been teasing his blog readers for over a week with pictures of his latest music video, Rock Rockin' Tha Spot. RRTS is a visually stunning masterpiece that will have you dancing in your chair, but it leans more towards the MTV crowd with it's content. However, it's totally worth watching, if for no reason other than the copious amounts of cows![Via BaronSoosdon]Previously on WoW Moviewatch...View this heavily NSFW video after the jump ...
Hentai homebrew appears as real demo
var digg_url = 'http://digg.com/nintendo/DS_Homebrew_Hits_New_Low_Touchscreen_Hentai_Game'; Those of you who keep current with loli homebrew news might recognize this image from when it first made its rounds on gaming blogs last February. While the photo implied that someone was working on a DS port for Hizashi no Naka no Riaru (In the Afternoon Sunshine), an H-game from mu soft, we haven't seen a playable version pop up until now. Read on for the NSFW details!
Comic Watch: 'Something Positive' hits Pirates of the Caribbean
I am something of a webcomics aficionado. At current count, I follow ... (carry the one) ... Too Many comics. As such, I'm always reading a variety of topics and humor, and occasionally something that approaches Massively-related content will appear. Such is the case with a recent 'Something Positive', which concerns itself with 'Pirates of the Caribbean Online'.The initiating event of the strip actually begins the episode before the linked comic, but it's not necessary to read for the effect. I'm curious if there really is a swearing-related, bannable offense, as the comic suggests. Barring that, I wonder if anyone's run into the naming issue described here. I'm looking forward to the rest of this series. Check it out, but be forewarned: NSFW language!
Building a better MMOusetrap: PPOrnography in games
Quick turn out the lights, shut your door, and unplug the phone... today we're going to talk about boobs. shh shh shh, I know, please keep it down, don't get all worked up, it's really not anything to worry about. I'm not actually going to show you any boobs, just talk about them, or rather about morality, censorship and the like in our favourite type of video games. As I'm sure you're all aware, as informed gaming news readers, you've read the latest load of tripe about our beloved "sex-boxes" and how they are filling us full of sodomisingly good times. Well, I decided to take a look at MMOs under the same plate, but before you fill the comments section with slander, and my inbox with hate, let me just say I think the fellow who wrote the article is a grade-A ass, but he did make me think about a few things.First off, let's look at the ESRB rating that comes on most of our MMO titles, generally they are rated T (for teen!) but have the wonderful disclaimer of "experience may change during online play". Now frankly that's pretty much a carte blanche to do whatever they like, because if they get pulled into court they can just grab their Objection! sign and point at the rating. But I think that for the most part MMO game developers take a lot of strong steps towards keeping the playing environment relatively tame. There certainly aren't any terribly un-graphic alien lesbian love scenes in Paragon City, and last I checked, even though the Mithra are cute little cat ladies, there hasn't been any rampant cases of cross-species hot loving in Vana'diel.I think what I'm trying to get at is, that game developers do in fact keep our online experiences as puritanian as they can (violence aside of course), because they don't really see a need to change their games into online porn. Certainly there are the usual video game metrics of unrealistic body types (for both the women and the men), and the fact that somehow the more armour a female character puts on, the more like a princess leia golden bikini (link is semi-NSFW) it looks. But other than that things are generally tame, that is, until it gets into the hands of the players.
Today's worst video? One word: Kwari
As a concept, Kwari is unintentionally hilarious. The game's entire premise rests on luring players in with the promise of cash and prizes. Earn money every time you shoot another player in this online first-person-shooter, and lose money every time you get shot. In addition, special prizes will be given to players throughout each match, both randomly and based on certain skills demonstrated.And it's free, too! The catch? Well, that it's not actually free. As the unnecessarily gory, ugly trailer will barely tell you, Kwari players need to purchase their ammunition with real-world money. Run out of bullets mid-battle? We're fairly certain that Kwari will allow you to fork over more cash with just the click of a button.Of course, don't take our word for it. Check out the NSFW trailer -- entitled "Your 5 Steps to Kwari Heaven" -- after the break.
Today's most vulgar videos: Jam Sessions' instant rockstar
The North American marketing for DS guitar simulator Jam Sessions has been pretty low-key, comprised of a MySpace page, uninspired print ads, and a bevy of videos showing real artists using the non-game to play fake guitar.Off the charts, then, are New Zealand's excellent television spots for the title, which emphasize how having Jam Sessions in your DS repertoire can transform you into an instant rockstar. According to the ads, being an instant rockstar involves hitting on your buxom aunt, and cursing out your mum for baking you the wrong birthday cake. Honestly, the things those New Zealanders can get away with on television!If we haven't made it abundantly clear, these videos are definitely not-safe-for-work material. Catch all the raunchy, raucous action after the break (and not a single shot of gameplay, either!).
