The news just wouldn't stop dropping this week. First, Parasite absolutely dominated the Oscars, everyone was convinced Bill Gates bought a hydrogen-powered mega-yacht for a hot second (surprise, he didn't), Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's political party left the entirety of its voter rolls -- millions of records -- just swinging in the breeze, and the massive $26.5 billion T-mobile/Sprint merger finally got the court's blessing to move ahead. And those were the tame ones! What we've got for you below, hooboy, just some jaw-dropping numbers.