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Caption Contest: unofficial Obama MP4 player is officially awesome
Friendly tipster and man about town Ben spotted this Obama-branded MP4 player ("with built-in speaker!") in Washington D.C. recently. Paul: "Yes we can buy cheap Chinese iPod knockoffs!"Chris: "Introducing the iPod hussein."Tim: "Sadly the John McCain gramophone was deemed too risky for today's economic conditions."Laura: "There's not a Zune America and an iPod America. There's a United States of generic Obama MP4 player America."Nilay: "They would give it an African name, DIGITAL MP4 PLAYER, believing that in a tolerant America a terrible interface and weird format support are no barrier to success."Joe: The Audacity of KIRFRichard: "Whew, for a second people thought he was using a Zune again"Josh: "On Obama's Digital MP4 Player, it's not shuffle. It's change."Ross: "Next on the O'Reilly Factor: is president-elect Barack Obama funneling funds through a Shenzhen, China-based shell company?"Sean: "Who is that black bald guy anyway?"**Sean is Canadian, we can't take responsibility for him or his silly little country.
CES Caption contest: What happens in Vegas
Ross: "Woody Woodpecker officially hits the lowest point of his career."Tim: "World's biggest Twitter fan shows up at CES."Ittousai: "Alien Guts from Ultra Seven?"Ryan: "Twitter has officially jumped the shark."Joe: "I guess Geek Squad wasn't hiring."Thomas: "I think you should stop blowing now."Jose: "I'm a big, big thinker."Josh T: "The doctor will see you now."Steve: "I'm looking for some headphones."Chris: "Did you see that redhead bird by the Casio booth?"Sean: "Man, I thought that pimple would pop all by itself"Nilay: "The chicks in Vegas are crazy."Richard: "This really reinforces my reputation as an untouchable"Paul: "So, what do you guys think about the Pre?"
Caption Contest: 49-foot ASIMO makes trees, dancers look tiny
There's nothing that screams "end of the world" quite like a 49-foot ASIMO towering over a forest, but we'd prefer to ignore inevitable doom long enough to imagine what exactly a 49-foot ASIMO would scream. Thomas: "Dance I said! Dance!"Chris: "Hey, did we remember to fix that bug where he falls down stairs?"Joe: "Where's Arthur Murray when we need him the most?"Darren: "Wait, Dancing With The Stars said what? No pimp canes? That's a deal-breaker."Paul: "In his musical debut, 'ASIMO Takes the Stairs,' the eponymous star provides a surprisingly self-deprecating reenactment of the moments leading up to his infamous tumble. Music by Elton John."Nilay: "Not to be outdone, iRobot later sucked the entire city of Pasadena into a football field-sized Roomba."Don: "After years of toiling away at two-bit trade shows, ASIMO finally realized his dream project: Mr. Peanut: The Musical."Ross: "Having been turned down by both Ultrazoid and Voltron, the giant ASIMO checked his RAM for a dance number he could do solo."Josh T.: "Moments later, running ASIMO's 'Jazz Hands' script sent dancers flying hundreds of feet to their grizzly deaths."Josh F.: "I'm crushing your head! I'm crushing your head!"Cesar (from Zune): "I for one welcome our inflatable robot overlords. With a dance!"
Caption contest: cat driving Roomba -- is not so impressed, actually
This is one nonplussed feline, folks. No, he doesn't mind zooming around on the Roomba all day for the humans to videotape, upload to YouTube and laugh at around "the office" all day. Sure, he'll humor you, go ahead and caption -- capshun, if you will -- him until you're blue in the face. He'll have the last LOL. Oh yes, he will. Josh F.: "The perpetual cat-hair, spot-cleaning cycle ultimately spelled doom for this unlucky Roomba, much like tic-tac-toe did in WOPR in 1983."Paul: "Must do no harm, must do no harm... wait, does that only apply to humans?"Chris: "HOVERCAT IZ ON UR CARPIT / STEALIN UR DIRTZ" or "iRobot's demonstration of Roomba's new 'fight or flight' algorithm is an unqualified failure."Laura: "What part of this is the food?"Thomas: "Take your complaints up with the staff, Rrrroomba. There's one holding the camera now."[Via bookofjoe]
Caption Contest: Naked man who is also a computer; eye bleach not included
We really don't know what to say. We're sorry? That just doesn't seem to cut it. Maybe these captions will bring a small semblance of comprehension to this screwed-up reality we now find ourselves in. Please add your own in the comments, we can get through this together.Josh: "The Robocop program had seen drastic budget cuts in recent years."Chris: "iFixIt's teardown of ASIMO revealed what many had suspected all along: it's just a naked white dude with a motherboard duct taped to him." and "Please don't play Crysis - the GPU is like RIGHT on my nipple."Joe: "Mobile computing means different things to different people."Paul: "There are lots of great ways to stay warm this winter. This one is lame."Richard: "Unfortunately, Jim slightly misread the TSA's new less-annoying laptop bag rules."Darren: "Um, no -- those aren't mathematical equations written on my bedroom wall..."Laura: "Gaultier proves, once again, that pants are extraneous."Don: "Hello, Starbucks? Do you let folks use your power outlets? Great."Nilay: "It's the liquid-cooling system I'm most proud of."Thomas: "Hey ladies, watch what happens when I hit the defrag button."["Thanks," sgt_easton]
Caption This: Vote for winners!
It's been one week since we opened our most recent Caption This! contest to entries. We've allowed them to age to perfection over the weekend, and they're now ripe enough for you to pick the winner! Members of the WoW Insider staff have chosen their favorite captions from the bunch. Now you get to decide who goes home with a 60-day game card, a More Dots! or Ding! Grats shirt from J!NX, or nothing but an overbearing feeling of failure. Just pick the best caption for the above picture. Voting closes tomorrow, Wednesday, October 29 at 11:59 PM EST, and winners will be informed shortly afterward by e-mail. Remember, entrants must be U.S. or non-Quebec Canadians at least 13 years old. If you'd like to peruse the contest's official rules, they can be found here. Happy voting! Note that this week we have three entries that are too long for the poll form. See the super-sized entries behind the cut!
Reminder: Caption This contest ends tonight!
Guten tag, freunden. Just a reminder -- you've got a little more than half a day left to participate in this week's Caption This contest. To enter, leave a caption for the above picture on the original post by 11:59 PM EST tonight. Eligible winners (U.S. or non-Quebec Canadian residents above 13) will receive a 60-day gamecard for first place, and a More Dots! or Ding! Grats shirt from J!NX is available to the runner-up. Remember to read the official rules for the contest here. The voting poll for the winner will be available Tuesday morning, so you can vote while "enjoying" weekly maintenance. Have fun!
Caption This!
Is this the Tuesday that will finally fix all the patch-related problems? No? Well, I suppose we can all play Fable II/Dead Alive/Oblivion for the fortieth time instead. Or you can join in this week's Caption This! contest. The winner of the last contest, which featured three little gnomes, was Naram, with "Millhouse Manastorm long dreamed of his first night out of Arcatraz." Repeat winner Swordchucks came in second with "Gnome mating rituals are rich and varied, owing primarily to the race's three genders: male, female, and pink pigtailed incarnate of evil. Most non-gnome researchers on the topic quickly go mad." Congratulations, and to the victors go the spoils! Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, to tell you how to participate in this week's contest. I post a picture during Tuesday maintenance. You write a humorous caption for this picture by Friday, October 24 at 11:59 PM EST. It could be a funny description of the situation or a quote that you imagine the characters in the screenshot saying. Examples of previous winners can be found here, here and here. Leave your captions in a comment on this post, and keep it clean -- if Blizzard would warn you for saying it in-game, don't enter it in the contest. During the weekend, I e-mail the post to our list, members of the WoW Insider team respond with their favorites, and ten (or so) of those favorites will be chosen for the final vote. On Tuesday morning, we put the top choices up for a public vote in a new post. Voting ends Wednesday, October 29 at 11:59 PM EST. After the voting, we notify the winners. If they respond to our e-mail and confirm that they're eligible to win, we mail out their prizes. Let's show the people our fabulous prizes! First place winner gets a 60-day game card, worth approximately $30. And in honor of old-school raiding achievements, the second-place winner will get his choice of a More Dots! or Ding! Grats shirt from J!NX, worth about $20. However, to win you have to be eligible -- and to be eligible, you have to be a U.S. or non-Quebec Canadian resident at least 13 years of age. Sorry, EU, Oceanic and other readers, but legal restrictions make it impossible to include everyone. The official rules for the contest can be found here. Read them or be stuck in tree form for all eternity! This picture, featuring a most unusual farm, comes from the official WoW screenshot archives. A larger version can be found here. Good luck!
Caption Contest: PC fixer destroys Geek Squad Beetle, phones for tech support
Comically enough, we already knew that Geek Squad employees took a few liberties with their company car, but this is a debacle. Can you imagine how enraged the poor sap is who was expecting this fool? They probably took a vacation day just to stay home and overpay for some potentially dodgy PC fixer to remove a virus. For shame.Chris: "Late at night -- well after their shifts end -- testosterone-crazed Geek Squad and Firedog employees meet in alleyways across the nation for dangerous games of chicken that all too often end in tragedy."Paul: "Did you unplug it and then plug it back in? Look mom, I'm a little busy right now..."Joe: "Geez... it's called multi-tasking!"Darren: "Hey there Brad from Circuit City! About that job ad on Craigslist..."Don: "But sir, the GPS said I was going the right way."Sean: "Naw, really, I just scuffed up the paint on the bumper and lost the hubcap, the MRI disk is still secure."Nilay: "Hello... is it possible to retroactively buy that $29.95 PRP plan?"Josh F.: "So I think we figured out the problem with your laptop. Looks like someone dropped it."[Thanks, DS]
Caption contest: Teddy bear torture -- the photographs the FCC didn't want you to see
Hide the children, folks. We've just uncovered some atrocities, and we don't think they're appropriate for the preschool-and-under crowd. The FCC is performing unspeakable acts of torture upon this Step n' Shine "Snuggle n' Shine" bear, and we think it's time the public knew about it. More gruesome pics after the break.Chris: "We're going to ask you one more time: where is the spurious 2400MHz radiation coming from?" or "Repeat after me: Bounce has a fresher scent than Snuggles. That's all you have to do."Paul: "How about now, huh? Do you still 'wuv us vewwy much?' Didn't think so."Don: "I see you, Tickle Me Elmo. You won't get away with this!"Josh T.: "Reaction to Build-A-Bear's new competitor was mixed."Nilay: "Where is the one they call 'Teddy Ruxpin'?"Josh F.: "This was to be my final hit, but let's be clear about this. There's final hits and final hits. What kind was this to be?"
Reminder: Caption This contest ends Friday!
Hey, folks. You've only got fourteen and a half more hours to participate in this week's Caption This! contest. To participate, leave a caption for the above picture on the original post by 11:59 PM EST tonight! Eligible winners (U.S. or non-Quebec Canadian residents above 13) will receive a 60-day gamecard for first place and a choice of one of seven World of Warcraft action figures (see original post for details) for runner-up. Remember to read the official rules for the contest here. Voting for the winner should be available Tuesday morning, so you'll have something to do during maintenance.%Gallery-9826%
Caption contest: Chinese S.W.A.T. team caught ridin' dirty... on Segways
Look, protecting the world from the terror of Jihadists is serious business -- which is why we're not sure that rolling up on a Segway is the best way to get the Axis of Evil to drop its weapon / bomb / fanatic mindset... still, Jackie Chan will be psyched. Our suggestion? the electric unicycle. Josh T: "Stop! Step out of the vehicle and agree to be my friend."Don: "Don't make me lean forward and come over there."Chris: "Do it... do it now! Get to the human transportah!"Josh F: "Snake? Snake?! SNAAAAAKE!"Ryan: "Watch yourself, Frank, we're dealing with professionals. They've got a... car."Darren: "So, um, is it safe to back away from this vehicle?"Richard: "Yes, this would be more intimidating from a Humvee, but y'know, gas prices these days..."Nilay: "Put the Roomba down!"Thomas: "Quit calling me Ginger, I'm a day walker!"[Thanks, Mike]
Caption This: A winner is you!
Another two weeks, another two winners of our biweekly Caption This! contest. The victor, with 22.8% of the vote, was cchhiipp with "Put ... the ... egg .. back." Cchhiipp will receive a 60-day game card and a big hug. Yanel captured second place with "Soooo....I'm guessing it was YOUR alts we were ganking in STV all morning?" A Hordie for life, Yanel picked an I Survived Barrens Chat! t-shirt from J!NX. Congratulations to our winners, and for all the runners-up, look out for an all-new contest on Tuesday (with some exciting new prizes!)%Gallery-9826%
In other news... Jackie Chan sells Segways?!
Yes, it's hard to believe, but we assure you there were no special effects used to create this image. Here's beloved action movie star Jackie Chan once again doing his own stunts -- the most embarrassing one he's ever done. Believe it or not, he says these are hard to sell in China.Josh T: "Police Story 5: Loser Cop"Paul: "In his next film, Jackie Chan will pose exactly zero threat to anyone at all."Ryan: "This, Jackie Chan, is your punishment for 'The Tuxedo.'"Chris: "Jackie Chan avoids Rush Hour 4 thanks to his trusty Segway."Josh F: "Legend of Drunken Decisions"Thomas: "Enter the Dragon, exit the nerd"Jackie Chan: "Don't try to be like Jackie. There is only one Jackie. Study computers instead." (Seriously, he said that!)
Caption contest: WiMAX hits store shelves in Bosnia
Sometimes, you want more than just wide-area broadband. Sometimes you want the downy softness that only "WiMAX" can bring. We're not totally sure what this is, but we're almost positive it will not deliver speedy downloads and near-limitless connectivity.Paul: "Sprint's brilliant plan for rolling out WiMAX coverage on the cheap only had one fatal flaw..."Chris: "Considered key to XOHM's success, Sprint's first stab at a steampunk Hello Kitty WiMAX router yields mixed results."Josh T: "WiMAX: use color-safe bleach only, tumble dry."Josh F: "For those lighter 2-bar days."Ittousai: "WE DEMAND MORE PAMUK!"Nilay: "17.45 for WiMAX? Outrageous!"Dante: "Suddenly, that failed Australian WiMAX rollout, makes much more sense..."Richard: "Because really, who buys their WiMAX off the rack?"[Thanks, Srle]
Caption contest: the Kindle cake
Sure, it might not be as filling as the Skoda cakemobile, or as family oriented as Martha Stewart's Wii cake, but do those contain the thrilling tale of The Light Beam Rider? Yeah, we thought not.Paul: "Unfortunately the screen refresh times of '30-35 minutes at 350 degrees' is just plain unacceptable."Chris: "Moments later, a naked Jeff Bezos burst out, ready to greet everyone at the shareholders' meeting."Richard: "Philippe Starck calls the Kindle 'a little delicious.' "Sean: "No friends, that's not the iCing phone, tis the Kindle Cake and it serves 12."Don: "You can never be too careful buying gadgets on eBay."Josh: "The Light-Beam Rider was surprisingly short."Ross: "The book is a lie."[Via The Raw Feed]
Caption contest: PS3 Rainbow Six Vegas diorama
This one's really bringing us back to eighth grade. Except, you know, replace dinosaurs with terrorists, and replace a real-live-working volcano with a PS3. Other than that it's exactly the same. Chris: "PlayStation Park, Las Vegas' latest theme hotel, has left much of the Strip uninhabitable thanks to the 800 degree Fahrenheit stream of air continually emitted from the side of the building." Josh: "Finally, something more gaudy and depressing than the actual Las Vegas." Nilay: "Note: Beds do not vibrate." or "We never noticed how much the Wynn looked like a Foreman grill." Paul: "I'll be in the garage if you need me, honey. Working on the, uh... car." Richard: "Ok, who left the Allspark next to the PS3?" Ittousai: "Vegas-based terrorist group with micropulse bomb is demanding backwards compatibility; more at 11." Steve: "Kutaragi: 'This hotel is probably too cheap'"Ross: "Voted loosest memory card slots on the Strip!" or "I'm putting all my Cell chips on Blu!" or "Yeah, it may have nine processing cores but are they synchronized to dancing fountains?"[Via technabob]
Caption contest, Xmas edition: AIBO Claus
Ho, ho, h-- er, woof, woof, woof! Even though AIBO has been spayed, so to speak, that doesn't mean the little guy can't dress up and get into the Christmas spirit just like the rest of his fellow Roombas and Robosapiens. Plus, we have to say, our old pal looks quite dashing in red.[Image courtesy of Impress]Evan: "Robot Santa, perhaps overly confident aboard his Sony-made sleigh, swore that this year his was gonna bite Bender right on his shiny metal ass."Josh: "The scale only revealed what AIBO had known all along: a moment on the lips really was a lifetime on the hips."Chris: "Still distraught over its discontinuation, AIBO shows up every Christmas morning at Sony headquarters, drunk, belligerent, and with a sad little Santa outfit that gets a little dingier every year."Ryan: "All I want for Christmas is to be put back in production / to be put back into production / to be put back into production. End holiday song."
Caption contest: the harmonigadget
A gentleman named Robert was spotted wearing this contraption at a Starbucks in the East Village. Apparently he calls it a Portable Gadget Center. We call it hilarious. Close up after the break...Ryan: "The Dylan of his generation, Bobby could type AND dial a call with his tongue at the very same time."Evan: "Why yes, this IS the first date I've ever been on; how did you know?"Chris: "Years of latte-infused spittle had rendered Robert's array of devices useless, but a longstanding disinterest in using his arms -- indeed, the inspiration for the contraption itself -- had prevented him from wiping them with a damp cloth."Dante: "I thought it made you look cool until I spotted the baby blue G-Shock."Ross: "I don't CARE if it doubles as your retainer!"
Caption contest: the Cyberdyne Cinema
There's actually some nice gear in the Cyberdyne Cinema -- B&W speakers, a Mitsu HC5000 1080p projector, and Rotel amps -- but anything dressed up this hideously can't escape a little caption fun. We'll get you started:Dante: "Oh wow... it crashed my eyes."Evan: "The failure of T3 wrecked havoc on Arnold's home theater budget."Josh: "Cyberdyne's bank accounts were substantially smaller in 2007."Ryan: "Apparently this is all that passes for a decent home theater after the robot rebellion."Nilay: "My eyes sense tackiness, the data could be called pain."Thomas: "Pleather: Tougher than Judgment Day."[Via UberReview]
