Crap

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  • Daniel Cooper

    DFree is making an emergency alert system for your colon

    by 
    Daniel Cooper
    Daniel Cooper
    01.07.2020

    Last year, Triple W won a Best Of CES award for DFree, a wearable that adhered to people's stomachs and gave incontinent people a heads-up when nature was about to call. This year, the company is back in Las Vegas to show off a prototype for its new sensor for people with intestinal issues. If successful, the next DFree product will buzz your phone to let you know that it's time to go number two.

  • AP Photo/Ross D. Franklin

    Amazon declares war on loss-making 'CRaP'

    by 
    Daniel Cooper
    Daniel Cooper
    12.17.2018

    In its quest to cut costs and maximize profits, Amazon is reportedly looking to eliminate product quantities that it can't make money on. These goods, codenamed CRaP, are offerings that Amazon "Can't Realize a Profit" on, once you factor in shipping costs. The Wall Street Journal says that the company is targeting items, like beverages, where the weight and size is too big, and the charge is too low.

  • Scientists say comets smell like hell

    by 
    Daniel Cooper
    Daniel Cooper
    10.27.2014

    Remember Rosetta? It's the European Space Agency mission to drop a probe onto Comet 67P and observe it as it passed around the sun. As the object warmed, it began to emit gasses which, using a pair of mass spectrometers, tell us what the comet is made up of and, more importantly, what it smells like. The ESA already knew that we'd see methane, methanol and ammonia, but were surprised to see hydrogen sulphide, hydrogen cyanide and sulphur dioxide. That means that if you were to stand on the comet and take a deep breath - assuming you hadn't already died - you'd enjoy a heady mix of horse crap, rotten eggs and vinegar. The scientific rationale for the discovery is that we now know a little bit more about how comets are created. But if you ever wanted to recreate the experience of standing atop Comet 67P as it hurtles around the sun, all you have to do is stand outside your local nightclub on a Sunday morning.

  • The Daily Grind: What's the grossest quest you've ever done?

    by 
    Jef Reahard
    Jef Reahard
    09.21.2014

    So yesterday I picked up piles of dookie in ArcheAge. Yes, there really is a quest in Anvilton that requires you to go around and fill your bag with yata manure, yatas being those floppy-eared rabbit/kangaroo mount things. As if stuffing crap in my quest bag wasn't enough, there's an occasional overpowering stench status effect that causes my character to temporarily pass out and fall down. Finally, the end of the quest required me to deposit a huge helping of poo on an NPC's workbench, complete with buzzing fly and rising steam animations. How about you, Massively readers? What's the grossest quest you've ever done? Every morning, the Massively bloggers probe the minds of their readers with deep, thought-provoking questions about that most serious of topics: massively online gaming. We crave your opinions, so grab your caffeinated beverage of choice and chime in on today's Daily Grind!

  • 'Connect Pritect to Protect Kinect:' for all your tinfoil helmet needs

    by 
    Daniel Cooper
    Daniel Cooper
    02.29.2012

    Have you considered that if a secretive governmental cabal seized control of your Kinect, it would be able to spy on you as you lurched awkwardly to Just Dance? Such is the price we pay for abrogating our right to privacy, or at least it was until Catalyst Components came up with a solution. Connect Pritect to Protect Kinect is a high-gloss plastic shield that clips over your device to block the sensor bar's cameras from prying eyes. The only opening is a tiny hole for the Xbox logo -- the efficacy of which is shown after the break. Freedom from surveillance will cost you a meager $15 from Target, Microcenter, Best Buy and Amazon.

  • Crapgadget: 'you really shouldn't have' edition

    by 
    Brian Heater
    Brian Heater
    11.29.2011

    Looking for a great gift for someone you love? Look no further than our extensive Holiday Gift Guides. Looking for a gift for someone for whom you harbor a strong sense of indifference or vague dislike? We've got your back with this installment of Crapgadget, featuring a security-enabled fanny pack, some suction cup speakers and a bedazzled bird. Read - Here's one way to assure that your iPhone 4 never gets stolen: dress it up like an awful looking camera. Read - USB speakers with suction cups on the back? Perhaps it's time to instate suckgadget. Read - You'll never fly high with bedazzled wings. Yep, we featured a similar bird speaker before, but we figured this ornamentation deserved a second go 'round. Read - It seems to us that wearing a fanny pack is its own built-in security system, but if you're still concerned about people nabbing something from your midsection, the Waist Pack with Built-in Personal Security Alarm can help. Read- No need to chalk up your palms before the next round of PS3 gaming. %Poll-71293%

  • Crapgadget CES, round two: TASER C2 now in pretty colors

    by 
    Kevin Wong
    Kevin Wong
    01.07.2011

    The most disturbing part... are the smiles.

  • Crapgadget: 'Just because you can doesn't mean you should' edition

    by 
    Vlad Savov
    Vlad Savov
    03.15.2010

    To be quite frank, CES this year was so tame that we kinda thought our beloved Crapgadget series would have to go on hiatus. We needn't have worried. This latest batch of technological breakthroughs includes the regular team starters we know and love -- a mangled animal-emulating USB hub and a heart-shaped Bluetooth dongle -- but also some new recruits from way out of left field. We've got those crazy awesome finger lights above and a starfish-shaped quad-band cellphone that apparently manages to fit in a camera and space for dual SIMs, but the true winner has to be the camera-shaped spy camera. Working off the classic spy trick of double- and triple-bluffing, this pinhole camera is embedded inside what looks like a poor (really poor) man's point and shoot compact camera, which we suppose is the last place anyone would look for a spy cam. Hey, maybe there's something to this idea after all. Anyhow, get clicking then come back here and vote, won't ya? Read - Party rats finger lights Read - Heart-shaped USB Bluetooth dongle Read - Doggie 4-port USB hub Read - Starfish GSM cellphone Read - Camera-shaped spy camera %Poll-42906%

  • Japanese 'age prediction machine' is really just a mosquito tone test

    by 
    Darren Murph
    Darren Murph
    02.27.2010

    And this, folks, is yet another reason why the Land of the Rising Sun is truly one of the world's greatest places. Japan, which is famous for having ridiculously polite citizens and some of the zaniest toys known to man, has just delivered its latest gem: the Age Prediction Machine. As you might expect, the device simply emits the now-famed "mosquito tone," which is an exceptionally high pitched frequency that can't typically be heard by older humans. Depending on the intensity of the sound, you're able to determine where the cutoff is between hearing it and not, thus discovering the age of whoever would be gullible enough to stand around and actually engage in this sort of lunacy. But seriously, don't use this the day before your mother's birthday -- just ask pops which number she's about to celebrate / not celebrate, cool?

  • Crapgadget: 'no rhyme or reason' edition

    by 
    Darren Murph
    Darren Murph
    01.24.2010

    Amazingly, these waves of Crapgadgets tend to showcase some sort of mini-trend. Oftentimes it's a certain fondness for USB overkill, while other times it just feels like gaudy is the new black. This go 'round, however, we're looking at a veritable cornucopia of lameness. Eager to drop a Jackson to enjoy one of the most non-ergonomic wooden mice to ever see the light of day? Now you can. There's also the common issue of not being able to see text in a book while in pure darkness, but rather than just flipping a light switch or changing time zones to locate the sun, there's a wearable necklace to do the trick. Believe it or not, the list just keeps on getting better, with a machine gun-styled USB drive, heart-shaped telephone and a USB scent flower rounding things out. Dive into dumpster below if you dare, and drop your vote for the worst of the worst in the poll below. Read - USB bamboo mouse Read - Wearable hands-free light Read - Machine gun USB drive Read - USB guitar speaker Read - Heart-shaped telephone Read - USB scent flower Read - Steering wheel Bluetooth mount %Poll-40404%

  • Crapgadget Crapdown, CES 2010: the best of the worst

    by 
    Ross Miller
    Ross Miller
    01.11.2010

    It's that time of the year again, where we round up all the gadgets we found on the CES show floor that help us to reset our gauge for bad ideas and hardware. Following in 2009's footsteps, there seemed to be much less crap this year than before. Still, we're here to recognize those souls who strive harder than most to hit that point of mediocrity -- pick your favorite below, then rest easy knowing that you live in a world that accepts the existence of all kinds of products, no matter how miserable. %Gallery-82654% The nominees Crapgadget CES, round 1: Polar bear TV Crapgadget CES, round 2: The Phubby (wrist-on) Crapgadget CES, round 3: Moneual's $45K HTPC Crapgadget CES, round 4: The Fingerist Crapgadget CES, round 5: Gimme Tunes Crapgadget CES, round 6: Goscam China's Body-worn DV for Police %Poll-39884%

  • Crapgadget CES, round 2: The Phubby (wrist-on)

    by 
    Jacob Schulman
    Jacob Schulman
    01.08.2010

    It's advertised as a cubby for your wrist, but it doubles as an opposite-sex repellent. Update: Don't worry, it probably repels members of the same sex as well. %Gallery-82091%

  • Crapgadget: 'All hope just might be lost' edition

    by 
    Darren Murph
    Darren Murph
    11.08.2009

    Tell us, readers -- haven't you dreamt deeply about shoving your hand into a toasty, moist hamburger at work in order to warm your digits without cranking the thermostat and irritating the Antarctica-born top brass? And tell us, haven't you always wanted a USB hub that doubled as an airplane toy? And honestly, don't even try to act like you've never longed for a fine-toothed comb that would stick out from your MacBook Pro whilst waiting at an airport. Amazingly, all of these radical fantasies can now be your own personal reality, as an unknown amount of faceless companies have inexplicably produced these very items and listed them for sale. Sure, the recession may be "over," but "hope" is still a long, long way from being found. Read - iPhone chocolate case Read - Crab earphones Read - 4-port USB Aeroplane hub Read - Hamburger USB warmer pad Read - Monkey USB warmer pad Read - Metallic car USB flash drive Read - Fine-toothed comb USB drive %Poll-36644%

  • Crapgadget: "That's actually kind of offensive" edition

    by 
    Darren Murph
    Darren Murph
    08.17.2009

    We'll be honest -- most Crapgadget roundups consist of a litany of patently absurd, but totally innocent USB-related input peripherals. We aren't exactly sure what the Universal Serial Bus did to deserve such treatment, but evidently it slighted someone important along the way. But this time, things are... different. Oh sure, there's the jewel car necklace flash drive that inexplicably combines a "jewel" and a "car" on a "necklace flash drive," but it's the USB banana charger and USB aroma diffuser that really has our politically correct radars on high alert. Amazingly, the aforementioned atrocities are just the beginning, so feel free to visit each and every one of this week's losers and vote for the most disgusting down below. Choose carefully!Read - Jewel car necklace USB flash driveRead - USB banana chargerRead - Finger flick punching bagRead - USB digital microscope, Part IIRead - Big nose shower gel dispenserRead - Glitter ball alarm clockRead - USB panda speakerRead - USB aroma diffuser %Poll-33377%

  • Crapgadget: "Oh yeah, they're totally serious" edition

    by 
    Darren Murph
    Darren Murph
    08.10.2009

    Every so often, we come across a gadget (or five) that's so offensive, so absurd that we simply can't help but stick it in our back pocket and show it to the general public. Today, we're rounding up the worst of the worst once again, proving that there literally is no end to the spewing of gadget-related garbage that comes from unknown caverns in undisclosed corners of the universe. We mean, just listen to these products: "fried eggs night light," "Bic lighter spy camera," "hungry caterpillar USB hub," and "half-eaten chocolate mouse." Does those even sound like kit that any partially sane individual would purchase? No, no it doesn't. Have a gander while shaking your head furiously below, and feel free to drop a vote for the king of the crap while venting in comments below. Trust us, it's therapeutic.Read - Half-eaten chocolate mouseRead - USB Penguin 4-Port Hub Read - Fried Eggs Night LightRead - Spy camera Bic lighterRead - USB Bulb Flash DriveRead - Hungry caterpillar USB hub %Poll-33032%

  • Crapgadget: USB embarrassments shame Intel's rock stars

    by 
    Darren Murph
    Darren Murph
    05.24.2009

    Seriously, Ajay here would be downright ashamed. His Universal Serial Bus has found some seriously awesome uses over the years, sure, but the latest torrent of USB-equipped garbage is looking to do more harm than good to the venerable connector. In our latest roundup of crap found 'round the web, we see yet again that it's the USB-infused devices holding down the fort. From a flashlight-packin' USB SD card reader to a USB Parrot, our heads hurt from just imagining who among us is actually spending cold, hard credit on this rubbish. Feel free to inflict the same pain upon yourself by visiting the links below, and then cast your vote for the worst of the worst. Good luck, brave souls.Read - USB SD card reader with flashlightRead - Sparkling USB bracelet with no purpose or dreamsRead - USB Notebook Pocket Cooler puts 'Huffing' and 'Puffing' out of workRead - Pepe, the USB ParrotRead - 4-port USB hub gains a mirror... because it canRead - Jewel Rose Pin USB Flash Drive: perfect for Great, Great, Great Grandmother's DayRead - USB U-Shape i-Speaker just looks disturbing %Poll-30429%

  • Crapgadget: No wonder the economy sucks edition

    by 
    Darren Murph
    Darren Murph
    04.27.2009

    While we here at Engadget are doing everything in our power to get this philosophical "economy" back "on track," it's items like these that aren't doing anything to help. No innovation. No stimulating capabilities. No utility at all, really. Just a webcam that scans business cards, an MP3 player shaped like a cow and a flash drive that's absolutely not certified for circulation by the Democratic National Committee. Though, we must say that they're all tailor made for Crapgadget, which is (just barely) good enough for us -- drop your vote for the lamest below! Read - CowCow MP3 player Read - 4-Port Soccer Ball USB Hub Read - MSI StarCam Flip Webcam Read - USB Bird Fan Read - Bling Bling USB Card Reader Read - Obama Flash Drive %Poll-29537%

  • Crapgadget: gizmos to scar your USB port for life

    by 
    Darren Murph
    Darren Murph
    09.27.2008

    Some things just shouldn't ever be plugged into your USB port. Not even that dusty, never-to-be-used socket in your 16-port USB hub. The gadgets you'll see below are among the worst of the worst, with some being so awful, they almost deserve a purchase just to give you a laugh live and in-person. Seriously, just listen: an actual "thumb" drive, a USB key doused in cabbage, a mousepad that doubles as a Lars Ulrich-approved drum kit and a USB Hollywood Film Kit for those still in denial over that acting school rejection letter. There should really be laws against some of this rubbish, but since there isn't, we're putting it to you -- drop your vote in below to let us know which of the following gizmos reeks the most. Good luck down there.Read - USB "thumb" driveRead - Cabbage driveRead - Hollywood Reject KitRead - High heels phoneRead - Finger drum mousepadRead - Finger skateboard %Poll-20275%