LG's HT752TP home theater pyramid simulates 10.1 sound, talks to aliens

LG has a new home theater system so lightweight that it can be effortlessly balanced by a one-handed product waif. The new HT752TP "flat home theater" shares the design aesthetic of their HT702TN while introducing touch sensitive keys to evoke the ancient powers of the pyramid. It features a slot loading DVD, HDMI, and USB host port with 10.1 channel simulated audio from a 5.1 rig thanks to their Virtual Sound Matrix technology. Hey, that's what they say. Presumably it will even open a communication corridor to Marshall Applewhite when worn as a hat.