On June 9th, Steve Jobs will be speaking at WWDC. Plans are vague right now, but we understand he will give two lectures on Sudoku, a shirt-folding seminar, and will discuss the possibilities of using a perpetual motion machine to replace the engine in his 1986 Volvo. Afterwards, every developer gets a hug and a low five. It's unlikely he'll discuss the 3G iPhone.

9:05AM - Alright, we're here and registered! We'll be checking in as things get going shortly.
9:26AM - It's minglin' time! The space usually reserved for product demos is hollowed out for the Apple Continental Breakfast today, tons of journos and execs hanging out before the keynote kicks off.

CNN has a pretty extensive profile on El Jobso -- the likes of which seem to appear almost monthly these days in the mainstream media publication of your choosing -- but one of the more interesting tidbits is that apparently he sat on his pancreatic cancer for nine friggin' months before seeking treatment back in 2004. To put that in perspective, although his diagnosis was curable at the time, pancreatic cancer is considered to be among the most deadly forms and despite the urgings of the very few friends, family, and associates in the know, Steve apparently sought to cure himself holistically for three quarters -- while everyone else (including Pixar, where he was also CEO) was in the dark. Of course, eventually he gave in and got the surgery he so desperately needed to make his recovery; water under the bridge now, but Apple shareholders certainly must have a feeling or two about Jobs coming so close to the brink.

[Thanks, Adhik]

It's confirmed: Apple's next event is scheduled for March 6th, next Thursday. It'll be a Town Hall event; obviously new MacBooks and MacBook Pros aren't to be expected, but the unambiguous "iPhone software roadmap" and the image above should help guide our assumptions as to what will be discussed. The SDK's a given, but "exciting new enterprise features," eh?

Although the market as a whole has taken a beating lately, the rollercoaster ride has been particularly harsh on Apple stockholders, who've seen their shares fall from a high of $202 earlier this year to just over $130 today. Of course, among the hardest hit was Steve himself, who has over 5M shares of the company -- which is why he may have sent out an email today advising employees to "hang in there." Calling the past week "a remarkable last few days," Jobs pointed to Apple's product pipeline, people, strategy and -- perhaps most importantly -- $18B of straight cash in the bank as reasons to have faith, and said that factors "larger than ourselves" were taking their toll on the stock price. That may be so, but it's still pretty unlike Jobs to comment on things like this -- we suppose taking a $377M hit on paper would probably cause us to say a few things as well.

Are you a CEO hoping to "step it up," "knock it out of the park," and generally "take it to the bridge" -- old-school style -- but you can't seem to work the magic? Well, BusinessWeek has got just the thing for you: a ten-point plan on how to deliver a presentation like our main man, Steve Jobs. Breaking it down from "set a theme" all the way to "rehearse, rehearse, rehearse," the cats at BW lay out everything you need to know to shatter sales records, hike your stock, and innovate the hell out of a keynote. Of course, they don't advise you on choice of outfits (we suggest jeans, sneakers, and a turtleneck), products to launch (how does iPhone 2 sound to you?), or how to properly execute a "Boom!" ("Boom!") -- but we're pretty sure you can suss those details out on your own. If you want the full breakdown of tips and tricks, including how to properly appear excited about your own products, hit the read link ASAP. To help you along, we've included a clip of Jobs doing his thing after the break. Boom!

Proving once again that the truth is stranger (and more entertaining) than fiction, Steve Jobs himself delivers one of the finest Oh no he didn't moments ever. Apparently riding high on the thrill of introducing the MacBook Air, a hit of oxygen from his personal stash, and the espresso colonic he'd received earlier in the day, old Jobsy went "off" on Microsoft's Robbie Bach when questioned about the executive's statement that the Zune was a "worthy alternative" to the iPod. "Was he inebriated?" Jobs asked CNBC reporter Jim Goldman, and then went on to inquire, "Do you even know anyone who owns a Zune?" Uh, let's be honest -- that is way harsh. Robbie, we feel your burn... and eagerly await a response.

[Via MacDailyNews]

In a Macworld post-keynote interview with CNBC yesterday, Steve Jobs was pimping the iPhone's numbers since launch (over four million sold -- a number Wall Street didn't like, but what can you do?) between rants about the MacBook Air's qualities and, at some point, got on the topic of bringing the iPhone to China. The popular rumor over the last couple months has been that Apple had been working with China Mobile on making a launch happen but that talks eventually broke down. Here, Steve says that's simply not the case; a single rep from China Mobile visited the Apple campus all of once, and that's it. He'd love to bring the iPhone to the Far East (or so he says), but the fact remains that there aren't any heated discussions going on with the major players. At least, that's what Steve claims -- and as we all know, CEO reality can be very, very different from real reality.

[Via textually.org]

Jobs to NYT on Kindle: "It doesn't matter how good or bad the product is, the fact is that people don't read anymore. Forty percent of the people in the U.S. read one book or less last year. The whole conception is flawed at the top because people don't read anymore." Yes, it's true, the only books Steve thinks we need are MacBooks.

Irony: You're reading right now.

Further irony: You're probably not reading Engadget on a Kindle (at least not through its regular RSS reader).

Is this like geeky Koan or something? Does this mean Engadget doesn't exist? Either way, we get his point. It's a damn shame fewer people aren't reading real books.

You brought AOL to its knees, you took out the Apple online store, but now the true test: can the power of one billion fanboys take on Akamai?

Update: The answer was a quick yes -- but we're sneaky and figured out the direct link. Have fun, kids.

Tomorrow morning the tech world will tune in as Steve gets on stage to kick off another Macworld expo -- an event Apple usually uses for only its biggest product announcements. There are all kind of crazy rumors going around, but this year there are a few picks that have seem to stuck: an ultraportable MacBook (Pro) of some kind, iTunes movie rentals, and, of course, the iPhone SDK. But what rabbit will El Jobso pull out of his hat marked one-more-thing? Find out tomorrow when we bring you our live coverage at 9AM PT (and check out other local times here).

With CES in the books, banners flying up and rumors running rampant, only one thing could be on the horizon: Steve's Macworld 2008 keynote. Unfortunately, it seems he's a bit short on time, and needs you to access a totally awesome web-based game to help round up garb, VIPs and top-secret gear before taking the stage. Okay, so all of that is complete rubbish, but if you've got a moment to kill and can't stop obsessing over next Tuesday, hit the read link and have a laugh.

[Thanks, Mikkel]

Disney just finished refurbishing the iconic Spaceship Earth attraction at Disney World, and it looks like a certain board member gave a little shout-out to a friend: there's (animatronic) Woz in the garage, diligently hacking away on what appears to be the mutant offspring of an Apple I and the Lisa. Anyone else see this yet? We're dying to know if there's a check made out for $350 with "Breakout" listed in the memo line.

You've probably heard of Jonathan Ive: darling of the technology and industrial design worlds, and El Jobso's handsome, mountain of a right hand man in product design since the CEO's second coming at Apple. You might also know him as the dude that birthed the iMac, titanium Power Book and MacBook (Pro), iPod, iPhone, and just about every decent-looking Apple product in the last decade. Well, he's also apparently the guy the most people seem to be pontificating -- whether officially or not -- as Jobs's successor, according to the Times. Of course, there's another obvious, prominent theory about why the ever tight-lipped Apple hasn't done as most publicly traded companies and made a formal contingency plan for succession of the CEO gig: Jobs is immortal. As if you didn't already know that. There can be only one!