As the list of "awesome things that won't ever happen" grows ever longer, we've got a brilliant team of French physicists who have seemingly concocted a method for storing and retrieving data on hard discs that's around 100,000 times faster than usual. Yes, 100,000x. The trick is based around spintronics, an almost mythical procedure that involves the use of lasers, magnetic sensors and mutant abilities to shuffle data around at a dizzying rate. This particular method, however, improves upon the comparatively sluggish attempts of the past, as it uses photons that "modify the state of the electrons' magnetization on the storage surface." In layman's terms, this all means that the HDD you buy in 2098 will probably operate significantly faster than the one you picked up during Circuit City's going-out-of-business sale. Got it? Good.

Look, LED light bulbs are fanciful, great for Ma Earth and a fine addition to any home, barber shop or underground fight club. But let's be honest -- even the guy that bikes through blizzards to get to work and wears garb that he grew in his basement isn't apt to shell out $120 a pop to have what's likely the most efficient light bulb American dollars can buy. Enter Chunlei Guo from the University of Rochester, who has helped discover a process which could morph a traditional incandescent light bulb into a beacon of burning light without using nearly as much energy as before. In fact, his usage of the femtosecond laser pulse -- which creates a "unique array of nano- and micro-scale structures on the surface of a regular tungsten filament" -- could enable a bulb to increase output efficiency in order to emit 100-watts worth of light while sucking down less than 60-watts of power. Per usual, there's no telling when this new hotness is likely to hit the commercial realm, but one's thing for sure: we bet GE's paying attention.

[Via Physorg]

The world's most accurate clocks got even more accurate just a few years back, but now a team from the University of Nevada in Reno is looking to make the atomic clock way, way smaller. Housed at the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) in Boulder, Colorado, these so-called "fountain clocks" send out clouds of caesium atoms through a vacuum chamber in a magnetic field; from there, microwaves in the chamber excite the atoms and then emit light as they drop to a lower hyperfine state. All that rocket science aside, the real point here is that all that magic requires a chassis about the size of a modern day refrigerator. Andrei Derevianko and Kyle Beloy have conjured up the idea of "trapping atoms in place using lasers," which would obviously require far less space for the time telling to happen. Just think -- a chicken in every pot and an atomic clock on every wrist.

[Image courtesy of PSU]

Seriously, is there anything a laser can't do? A team of mad scientists in Washington have concocted a system that could essentially eliminate malaria-carrying mosquitoes with lasers, and the whole thing can be built from parts sourced on eBay. The so-called mosquito laser is credited to an idea from Lowell Wood, an astrophysicist who worked with Edward Teller, the "architect of the original plan to use lasers to shield America from the rain of Soviet nuclear arms." In theory, at least, the technology could one day be used to draw a laser barrier of sorts around a village. Of course, the trick is to make the lasers powerful enough to smoke the bugs without harming humans -- any of you Earthlings up for a clinical trial or two?

[Via eHow]

Boeing just announced a (public) first: they shot a UAV out of the sky using the Laser Avenger (an aptly-titled Humvee-mounted laser), the first time a combat vehicle has used such a weapon to knock a flying robot out of the sky. Naturally, the report is short on details, but they did say that they managed to burn a hole in the enemy, quite the feat for a moving target. Of course, once the robots get lasers, we're all done for.

LaserGames is a mod for projectors allowing up to two players to interact with a game using a run-of-the-mill (red or green) laser pointer in place of a mouse or controller, minus the precision response. Developer Alpay Kasal of Lit Studios isn't giving any hints on how this thing works, but we imagine it uses sensor technology similar to interactive projections -- you know, the ones where a video is projected on the ground and you get to kick around a soccer ball and then watch some tacky Nokia ad at the end. If you're up for trying this out first hand, Kasal's prototype will soon be on public display for some wild and crazy retina burning action -- no word yet on when or where. Check out his video after the break.

It's about time Boeing went and shot that frickin' laser. The Boeing Advanced Tactical Laser C-130H aircraft has completed its first ground test, shooting a high-energy chemical laser through a beam-control system. The gun successfully acquired a ground target and shot the darn thing on August 7, paving the way for an in-air test later this year, hopefully from that bad-ass 747 they've been touting. Boeing promises that the ATL will "destroy, damage or disable targets with little to no collateral damage." Yay for surgical strikes? Maybe some popcorn?

Apparently not everyone at General Motors is toiling away in an attempt to get the Volt ready for its 2010 debut, as another sector of the outfit's R&D division is busy creating a windshield that will, at its core, enable us to stop running stuff over. The futuristic glass would utilize lasers, sensors and cameras in order to help drivers see the road's edge better, recognize obstructions and enhance things ahead of us so we'll theoretically react faster. Truth be told, the device is being designed with older drivers in mind, though we don't see why younger motorists won't benefit all the same. Unfortunately, it sounds as if you'll have to keep those toothpicks in your eyelids for a few more years, but at least we're one step closer to full-on autopilot.

Look, how many times to we have to explain this? Lasers + headbands = a very good time. We're not sure what you don't get about that, and frankly we're a little disappointed. Alzheimer's patients like laser headbands (laserbands, for short, artist's rendition above) just fine, since the technology is providing a potential way to scan and diagnose brains for Alzheimer's while the patient is still alive -- doctors currently have to rely on symptoms for diagnosis, and a post-mortem look at the actual brain tissue to know for sure after the fact. There are still a few kinks to work out, but this could be a big breakthrough for the detection and treatment of Alzheimer's, and the fashion ramifications are unimpeachable.